Lost Yet Found (Open)

Hammel hadn't changed at all, Evan reflected with a slack-faced grin. The early morning cold swelter of the Pilot Ridge in the summer had lent a welcome (though uncomfortable) sense of familiarity to his last two days. Getting all of his things moved in, setting up electricity and gas (thank Science that the water was covered in his lease), and desperately looking for a roommate to offset a rent that would see him living on ramen and water if he took it alone . . . these factors had conspired to eat up his one weekend before starting at work, leaving no time for a nostalgic stroll around the town.

The walk over had been oddly unsettling (making the familiar strange . . . wasn't that verfremdung in German? And didn't that carry the connotation of disillusionment?), so unfamiliar was the approach from town. He'd made a point of getting up early enough to walk over and still have time to dither about his office a bit before officially starting his first day as the new school counselor. Briefly, he wondered if he was doing the right thing by coming back to work here. Was it a good move, moving back to Hammel to work so soon after graduation? Was he fully qualified to be helping young people whose struggles and angsts were so close a circumstance to his own less than years earlier? Would the Institute's arms, so strong and comforting to a terrified and off-balance twelve year old some ten years ago, be spread quite as wide to welcome him now?

To his credit, it took Evan one good look at the campus again to send these fears (mostly) scurrying away. It would be a bit of a scare, leaping back into the minds of the pubescent and hormonal denizens of the school, but there could be no question: Hammel was there to welcome him, and that Hammel was exactly where he wanted to be.

Excited thoughts propelled him all the way to the entrance to the school grounds, and he almost cried when he got a good whiff of the school's emotional content: residual angst and romantic pangs left over from the weekend, the wearinesses and focuses of the just-arriving staff, and most of all, that throbbing current of adrenaline, aches, open laughter, secret tears, golden triumphs and acid embarrassments so endemic to the Institute's red brick walls.

Now, if he could just remember where his office was supposed to be . . .

He took a hard look at the various wings of the Institute, and then reached down into his satchel to pull out the mound of paperwork that Ms. Morgenstern had sent over to him. Hammel may have the same outward and emotional aesthetic, but the actual layout appeared to have changed immensely. Which way were his offices? Now that he thought of it, where had the counseling offices been in HIS day? Evan couldn't quite recall if he'd even set foot there during his time as a student . . .

A bit of panicked circling of the school grounds ensued, accompanied by consternation and page flipping. There had been some clear changes to the dorms, and . . . since when had the Research Lab had a wing there?

"Frakking endowments, messing up my campus with their IMPROVEMENTS and ADMIRABLE ATTEMPTS TO IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF STUDENT LIFE. Razzin'-frazzin' . . ."

Evan was now in full-blown talking-to-himself mode, which usually presaged distraction and catastrophe to himself and his general surroundings. So it was now, as his right foot decided it would rather like to snag itself under an errant root just as he began to pass the koi pond.

KA-SPLASH.

A confused second of disorientation, a rush of pond water to the mouth, and a very surprised koi fish staring at him later, Evan was pushing himself up into a sitting position in the pond. The first thing he noticed was that his papers had spread themselves all over the water and were quickly on their way to becoming mulch. The second was that he was observed.

The young man was a figure out of a military recruiting pamphlet, all army green and dog tags. Hazel eyes looked at him surprisedly, framed a crop of short hair and a face carved out of some kind of all-American teenage flint. He had been squatting by the side of the pond, backpack slightly dust-caked beside him.

Evan sat entranced for a quick second, suddenly caught up in the painting of the boy's emotions (beneath the to-be-expected white splash of surprise): An arching gray melancholy, reinforced with steely silver lines of self-confidence and determination. Beneath this, an earthy brown and green of peace in the moment and reaffirmed purpose within the moment, all framed by a light blue sea of anticipation and willingness to meet life head-on. It was Mt. Tam by way of Monet, and took an effort of will to stop studying.

"Hi there!" Evan grinned bombastically, attempting to overwhelm the awkwardness by sheer force of will, "I'm Mr. Coleman, the new Counselor, and I am utterly lost!"

Evan gratefully took the proffered arm and, before he knew it, was hoisted to his feet with no seeming effort on the boy's part. He tried to console himself that this was probably just a meta thing, that the boy probably had enhanced strength or something, but the truth was all too plain: powers or no, this kid (young man? he was only about 5 years younger than Evan) had spent his life in better physical shape than Evan would ever attain.

"Opa! Thanks. Sorry about that, I've been trying to figure out where my office is. I haven't been back in 4 years and damned if they haven't switched up the campus on me."

He looked at his rescuer again, and began to notice a few details that had escaped him earlier. The self-confidence was a bit tarnished in places, little designs of doubt creeping along its luster. The peace had receded somewhat, and behind it was . . .

Wow. Loss. Loss and loneliness and determination in an ouroboros, spinning like a dynamo in a sturdy frame.

". . . so," Evan resumed, toning down his cheerfulness to something less manic and closer to sane, "I know why I'M here early. What's brought you here so long before classes?"

Evan cursed himself silently. He was no telepath, but he knew walls going up when he saw them. Maybe leading with I'm-the-headshrinker was a bad opening move with students.

"Don't worry about the documents. It'll give the koi something exciting to eat, I'm sure. Ohh, you're in 203? You lucky so-and-so, you're in a co-ed dorm! Come on, I'll walk you over."

He started off towards the dorms and began to actually feel the smile he'd plastered on his face. This brought back memories of late night odysseys to the co-ed dorms, homework done amidst half-flirtatious raillery, and study breaks replete with crap that had no business on any self-respecting food pyramid.

"So, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you're new to the school? Well, I can't promise you're gonna love it, but I can guarantee you that you'll never be bored. What's your power, if I may ask? Besides rescuing idiots who can't watch where they're going from the koi pond."

Ahhhh, there it was. Evan suppressed an arched eyebrow and settled in to watch the show. Mark Twain (or was it Benjamin Franklin? He could never remember) had once said that the only certainties in life are Death and Taxes. Evan would have gladly added The Excitement of a Teenage Boy at Discovering that He Would Be Bunking with Teenage Girls to the list, but he with reluctance had to acknowledge that it lacked a certain Ooomph.

"Real girls, sir. Teenage girls with powers, preferences, and (unprofessional though it is for me to say) burgeoning desires for male company. Your coming year in the dorms will greatly resemble a rollercoaster: new, exciting, and replete with curves. Don't quote me on that though, okay? I'm sure I'd get a lecture from Doc Neville."

And the excitement was truly fun to behold, especially for an empath. Most adults derive some enjoyment from watching the awkward hot-blooded shuffle of the S.S. Adolescent Sex Drive taking its maiden voyage through the Straits of High School, but Evan got to see it for what it really was: a fountain of exulting sparks and tongues of fire, a pyrotechnic marvel smelling of sweat, tears, and latex.

He wished he'd had the foresight to bring some peanuts. Adolescent lust was always best appreciated when taken alongside salted peanuts.

He continued leading on, past the gymnasium and the tumescent-looking projection from the main building that comprised the cafeteria. All of this renovation, thought Evan, and they couldn't get rid of THAT eyesore.

"Not much call to interact with girls where you're from, hmm?" he asked, absentmindedly.

. . . Ah. Kid from a military family comes early to his first day, plus a severe aura of loss and melancholy. It did not take a rocket scientist to guess the story there.

"I did, yeah. Twelve years old, and about an inch a way from a psychotic break. I didn't have your luck, though. I was in 406. Had some TRULY terrible roommates, but other than that . . . I don't want to be one of those guys to say that your time here is gonna be the best time in your life, but it's going to be pretty damn amazing. There'll be ups and downs, of course. People will be idiots, and a lot of the firsts coming up won't always be pleasant, but you'll come out of this really knowing who you are, and really that much more able to meet anything life throws at you. Sounds corny, I know, but I promise you it's worth everything."

And, on impulse . . .

"It's okay that you're grieving, you know. I'm not gonna drag you into my office for that."

It was a guess that this was what had made the kid aloof in the first place, but Evan felt pretty confident that this was the reason. There were patterns of behavior when people found out you were a shrink for a living.

The smile slid right off of Evan's face. So THAT was what it was . . .

"I'm sorry to hear about your brother, truly. I'd say that I can't imagine how that would feel, but that would be a bit of a lie. See, I'm not quite a mind-reader. I can sense emotions, you know? Like, how a person's feelings are all tied up and connected together inside. I can see that you're grieving, and I can see that the grief has been tying you up inside, but I could only guess as to the cause until you told me."

He slowed down his walk a little, trying to say what he felt like needed to be said without coming off as insensitive.

"Grief is one of those things you need to take at your own pace. Trying to power through it or ignore it is just going to make you feel worse in the long run. It's healthy to grieve when you've lost someone important, and there's not really a time limit on how long it should take you to feel better. You just kinda have to let the process happen and do what you can in the meantime.

"I guess . . ." Evan stopped walking for a moment, trying to frame his words properly, "I guess what I'm saying is, you are welcome to come talk to me or Dr. Neville whenever you want to, but I certainly don't think you HAVE to. You decide what you need, because you're the person that best knows what that is."

"Now, as to your ability . . . well, there are people here who actually specialize in helping you control your powers. You'll be able to sign up for sessions to help with that sort of thing, and you'll have plenty of places to practice. That said, one of the best things about Hammel is that this is one of the few places in the world where it's really truly SAFE to cut loose. Work on control all you want, sure, but every now and then it's okay to go to the gym or the training field and just punch down a tree or something. I don't know if you're into the idea of tree punching, but it was a thing when I was a student here."

A pause, and then he kept walking, feeling like he hadn't ENTIRELY butchered his main point.

"There it is," he remarked, pointing at the dorm, "You'll probably be able to find your room nice and easy. The resident heads should be up and about in the common room, so just look around for them, get your key, and unpack. Not to desert you, but I've got to go find my office, to which you are more than welcome as soon as I figure out where the damn thing is."

He began walking back towards the main building, but spun around and gave an impish little bow.

"Welcome to Hammel, Jason. It'll be a hell of a ride."