Er, Did I Say That? (Ravyn, Mia.)

In all fairness, Cam hadn’t thought much about dragging Mia into their relationship, he hadn’t thought about it at all. It was just the first person that popped into his head, and besides, he couldn’t just make up some random girl he met online. That was pure horseshit. He was a man in love, and feeling desperate only spurred him on. Besides, Mia wouldn’t mind, right?

Cameron looked up in a daze, the corner of his mouth lifting in a slight smile, almost as if being drawn up by a string. “Nice hair, the red suits you,” he said, looking at her eyes. Really, she looked great, as usual. He didn’t think she needed the extra color, but it definitely looked good on her. Well, anything did.

A frown quickly took place of his smile and the boy sighed. Cam had been caught red handed, and all he could do was listen. Listen, run his hands through his hair, and catch her hand in his. “I wasn’t trying to involve her, I just,” the orbs of light shook violently as he groaned, “I don’t know. I’m an idiot. I wasn’t trying to involve her. She’s just really cool, and I like her, I wasn’t trying to use her, she was the first person to pop into my head when you were talking about dating someone else.”

Stupid emotions, why did he have them? Why did he have to like people more than he should? “I never thought she’d find out, I just thought that if you were moving on, it’d be good for you to think I was moving on too.” He gripped her hand fiercely before letting it go. She wasn’t his anymore.

Ravyn may have been okay with being just friends, but he really wasn’t. It was hard to cut that cord. Oh well, at least he had other, ahem, things to do. But if that’s what she wanted he couldn’t very well convince her otherwise and he wasn’t going to try. She knew what he was like, what more did he have to prove?

“How was I supposed to know that you guys would talk? About me even.” You know, as if this was an excuse for telling tall tales. But her next statement really hurt him. I like you a lot, but... He wasn’t good enough. The Raines twins, well, they were pretty much the slowest moving guys on the planet. Good luck with that. Ravyn had a side of her that only he could satisfy, and she would miss him sorely in that regard.

The light specks seemed to be having a seizure now, completely out of control, until they burst into nothing. Part of light manipulation was the ability to destroy it completely, but he couldn’t bring those particles back. It was a one way street. “Yeah I’ll try,” he said. He had plenty of friends, but that wasn’t the same as having her for a girlfriend.

And what of the offer they spoke of before, if things didn’t work out between her and the twins?

Mia sat on her bed and wrapped gauze around her wrists. She was doing this for a couple different reasons. One of the reasons it helped hide the scars more, even if someone did pull off her gloves the bandages would still be hiding them, and the excuse she would be able to make was they made her look more ‘badass’. The other reason was a much more depressing one; it kept the freshly made cuts from being infected.

Mia walked out of the dorm building and walked toward to pond. She needed to get some fresh air, this was all too much for her to bear. Her wrists were hurting, for obvious reasons, she was tired of all the pain. The pain she was putting herself through and the pain of memories that came back from simple situations. Situations she didn’t want to be in and ones she was forced to be in. She hated it and at this moment, she hated Cameron. It started to thunder and lighting, dark clouds started rolling in fast. She walked to the pond and then saw Ravyn and Cameron and it started raining.

There was too many emotions going on in her head; too many things for her to process. Love wasn’t something she wanted to think about, it still hurt. She never fully was able to accept things that had happened, or fully able to sort out her feelings. Besides that, she was pretty sure she was going to die an old cat lady. Even though she still dreamed of that fairytale book ending, but life wasn’t that easy was it? And for her happy ever afters didn’t seem to happen. She didn’t know what to do, she didn’t want to interrupt their talk; though she probably would anyway because of how impulsive she was. But she still didn’t know what to say to Cameron. Mia looked at him “You’re an ass.” That was a start right? It wasn’t all she wanted to say but still. There she was being impulsive. "I can't believe you used me! I'm not some toy you can play with Cameron!"

"They're not be-" Ravyn stopped, knowing it was pointless. What was she supposed to say? That he was better? Better for her? That wasn't true. Look how often they were arguing lately. This was unhealthy.

At his comment about Mia, a spark of anger ignited in her, but she held back, knowing he was just hurt. Still, she had met Mia before the whole thing had escalated, and her eyes narrowed as she turned away again. "Fine. I'll just stop being friends with her now that we've already realized how much we have in common, just for your sake." Okay, maybe she wasn't so good at holding back her irritation. "I'm sure she won't mind." She liked Mia. But she didn't know if they would even be able to be friends because of all the drama that was happening now. The thought made her even more upset.

Not crazy enough. "Apparently not. I'll see you around," she grumbled, finished with this entire ordeal. She didn't know what had made her change her mood so quickly, but just the thought of saying anything else sent a sick feeling through her stomach. She stood, prepared to leave, when rain started pouring from the sky. She shivered and drew her bare arms around herself, not suspecting the sudden cold and wet. She was confused, until she saw the familiar pink hair. Brilliant. Freaking brilliant. Now poor Mia was being thrown into the mix once again. She wanted to run to her and make things right, but all she could muster was "Mia, I'm sor-" before Cameron took over.

Seeing him grab her wrists and apologize made her feel even worse. She had expected him to lash back at her, but apparently they really were closer than she had realized. She felt guilty for feeling that way, but she couldn't help it. She didn't know how to react. So she just stood there, getting soaked, watching them interact and wishing there was something she could do to make this entire ordeal never exist. "We've all made stupid mistakes," she muttered, turning away and watching the rain pound into the pond, creating waves and chaos on the surface of the water. She wanted to leave, but she was glued to the spot. She wanted to see how this ended, even if it hurt like hell.

In his defense, they only started arguing after they broke up, and they broke up for a stupid reason in his opinion. But she was entitled to hers, and there wasn’t a thing he could do about it. They were only arguing because they were denying their true feelings.

“And you couldn’t have told me you two were friends before? Oh wait, no, because you were too busy making out with me.” Maybe, just maybe, Cameron had taken it too far this time. He was angry, and either they were together, or they weren’t. Maybe friendship wasn’t an option, especially when he was something that would come up in conversation between two girls he was friends with. Maybe this was for the best... forget all the good times they had and focus on the hatred. Cam ran a hand through his hair.

And then Mia came.

Ravyn could feel as guilty as she wanted to for all Cameron cared, because to her he was only second best. No he and Mia weren’t dating, but he really was sorry for dragging her into this. And he had been as equally soft to Ravyn, until she patronized him and treated him like a child. That was something she chose. Cameron had always been good to her, she was the one who broke it off with him. He wasn’t the bad guy here. Ravyn stuck around, no surprise there – she still liked him, still wanted to spy on him. Cam gulped at her words, which seemed directed right at him. His eyes filled with tears but the rain would take care of that. He may have been an ass, he may have made a mistake, but he wasn’t totally heartless.

Cameron let go of Mia and took a step back, his hands up in surrender. One second ago he lost Ravyn, and now he just lost Mia. “You were the first person to come to my mind...” he said softly, though she probably wasn’t listening, and he wasn’t about to explain that he was starting to like her and... No, never mind. There wasn’t any chance for him, not after this. But these girls were just overreacting.

“I never said you were a sex object!” He was shouting now, his hands clenched into fists as his rage made the tears spill over. “Ravyn’s moved on, and I was jealous. I thought it’d be good for the both of us if she thought I had moved on too, make things easier on her, on me.” But nothing about this was easy, and using someone he considered a friend was a bad move. “You obviously deserve better than me,” he said, thinking of Ravyn but still looking at Mia.

Looking down, Cameron waited for lightning to strike, before capturing the white light into a ball, focusing his energy lest he blow up, literally. He needed to calm down. “Whatever, chicks before dicks right? Bye.” The ball of energy disappeared just in time to make it look like Cameron had simply walked through it. He was so tired of this. So he had told one fib, in an attempt to get over someone he really cared about. Why was that so wrong? It could’ve been anyone, but he chose Mia because he really liked her, thought maybe they could have something. But he wasn’t waiting for what ifs and maybes. “Women...” He mumbled to himself. Perhaps Fer was free...

Mia didn’t know what to do or what to say. She look at Cameron; she could still tell that he loved Ravyn and that made it all the more harder for her to come to terms that she actually was falling for Cameron. There were so many things she wanted to say to Cameron, so many things she wanted to explain to him, but she couldn’t find the words. Why was she the first person to come to mind? Why did she always have to destroy what good she had left in her life? It was all too much for her to bear. She didn’t mean to lose Cameron as a friend, she didn’t want that. She was just so tired of holding back all of her emotions and most of them had nothing to do with him. He didn’t deserve her venting to him and she couldn’t blame him for giving up on her. It hurt for him to give up on her, because he was the third person to do so. But she made it easy for him to and she now hated herself. She wished she would have just died that night about a year ago when she was fifteen. She didn’t deserve to live, she didn’t have a place here, all that she caused was pain, she caused others pain and she caused herself pain.

“I didn’t mean you said it!” this was just too much for her. She understood his pain, and she wanted desperately to say that she understood what it felt like to have to be able to be forced to get over someone, she knew what it felt like to feel second best, because she felt like she was just second best to Cameron. And she didn’t want to be anyone’s seconds, she didn’t want to be the person Cameron went to because he couldn’t have the girl he actually loved and it hurt. Why must she put herself through this?


She just destroyed her friendship with Cameron because of something as stupid as the feelings and emotions she didn’t know what to do with. She stood there, frozen, she felt awful and she knew he meant for her to. Cameron didn’t deserve this. She shook her head, why was she so emotionally screwed up? Why did it have to be like this? Why did she have to destroy everything good in her life? There was so many things she wanted to ask but no one to ask them to. She wanted to run to Cameron and tell him she was so sorry and that he had a right to give up on her and leave. To tell him he had a right to be mad at her now, she wanted to explain to him the reason why she was so upset it wasn’t because of him but because of how screwed up she was.


She pretty much ignored Ravyn’s words to Cameron except the part where she said she still love him, she was sobbing now. Why did she have to start having feelings for Cameron? “Cameron I’m sorry…” She didn’t know what else to say now. All this was hurting too much, this was too much for her to bear. She knew all she would be to Cameron was second best, and that did hurt. Because now Ravyn was being more like Mia, and she was sure it made Cameron like her all the more. Half of her hoped they got back together, because she wanted Cameron to be happy. She wanted both Ravyn and Cameron to be happy. Even if that meant more pain for her, yeah she knew it would hurt her to be the mutual friend as long as she still had feelings for Cameron if the two of them got back together. But the other half want to tell Cameron how she felt, she wanted him to pick her over Ravyn, Ravyn already had another guy? So what would be the harm of Cameron picking her? But she knew he would never pick her over Ravyn, she felt like Cameron would always go back to the brunette if she wanted him back. But she just wanted Cameron to be happy, no matter what the outcome was, even if that meant he was happy without her in his life. “Cameron.. I just want you to be happy..” She whispered, knowing he wouldn’t be able to hear her.

Mia didn’t hug back, her mind was still on Cameron. It was still on the unanswered questions and feelings. She looked at the ground when Ravyn started to leave. The rain was starting to be comforting as she stood there sobbing. “This is all my fault.. I didn’t mean for this to happen… Why do I have to destroy what makes me happy?” yes, she might have been talking to herself but at this moment she didn’t care. She looked to the sky, all she would ever have was her music and the weather. She pushed her hair out of her face. She took a few steps backward and then turned around and walked away.