A Sober Moment (Sean)

Stefan usually didn’t have an actually meal for breakfast. The only exception came when he had company over. Other than that he usually stuck to coffee, well coffee with a little extra flavoring. Or sometimes if he was feeling a little hungry he’d have a bagel.

Stefan didn’t see why it being early or a weekday would have anything to do with having a drink, but he wouldn’t force the other man to join him. “Let me know if you chance your mind,” he said, smiling politely.

“So how are things?” he asked. “How’s Josh? Haven’t seen you two since…Christmas, was it?” Truthfully, all of the holiday parties from Halloween to New Year’s had kind of blurred together for Stefan.

As Sean took his seat, Stefan watched the other man carefully. He was looking for hints and clues as to Sean’s feelings towards him. He still wondered if he’d done something dreadful, and by mistake of course, to upset the other man that night at Sean’s house. And since the two never had much of a chance til now to chat just between them, he was a little worried.

Stefan smiled, still hoping the other man would change his mind, as he put his flask back into his jacket pocket. After all, drinking was always so much more pleasant when with others. Although, it wasn't necessary. And he did have a job to get going to after coffee, so it wasn't like he would be going all either. And at least Sean wasn't the sort of man to shy away from alcohol in that sort of situation, at least in Stefan's experience with him.

"Good, good," Stefan continued. "And yes I agree. But without the busy parts of life, things would get dull rather quickly." He took a drink of his coffee, although it was still a tad to hot. It wasn't that he was nervous, exactly. Uncomfortable perhaps. Sean, like most telepathy Stefan had come into contact with, were always hard people for him to "read". He had come to the conclusion that perhaps people with the similar abilities to get into other heads became more self conscious about the possibility of others getting into their own heads. Or maybe it just had something to do with mental shields affecting his own power, he really didn't know for sure.

What I am I so worried about? he thought. This is Sean. I've known him for years. Perhaps that was the problem. He couldn't help but worry he had tainted what friendship they had. And even though the two men had never been extremely close, Stefan hated (and fear) to ruin any sort of relationship.

Might as well cut to the chase.

"So..."he said, slowly. "About that night..." He took another sip of his still-too-hot coffee, burning his tongue this time.

One of the benefits of Stefan’s job was that soberness or alertness wasn’t all that important. As long as he could hold a conversation and type, he was qualified. In fact, sometimes a drink here and there helped with interviews. And while it wasn’t the reason he had gotten into his line of work, it was one of the reasons he had stuck with it for as long as he had.

“Well…” Stefan said slowly. “I just wanted to make sure that we’re…okay.” It wasn’t so much that he hated uncomfortable subjects. It was often his job to ask uncomfortable questions. And being Brendan’s uncle had led to more than one conversation that might have made any other man his age either blush or become sick to his stomach. But still Stefan hated change. Especially change in relationships.

And it had happened before that he’d had a friend, or a more-than-friend, who’d started to pull away because of something he had done or said while a little too drunk. Sometimes it was because of something he couldn’t even remembered doing or saying. He didn’t really blame the alcohol, but he still hated it when it happened.

“I mean, you and me, and Josh,” he continued, watching Sean’s face carefully. “We’re still good?”

Stefan sighed as Sean began to explain Josh and his feelings on the night. Like Josh, Stefan had tried to put it out of his mind. Which was fairly easy since he couldn’t remember exactly what all had happened. And since it had been a while since the night had actually occurred it was already starting to blur into this his collection of other partial memories of drunken nights. And that area of his memory bank was already overcrowded.

Had Stefan been a telepath, like his friend, he would have resented Sean’s feeling about his drinking. But since he was more relieved than anything, he wasn’t trying to figure out what was going on in Sean’s head any longer. He leaned back in his chair, taking a drink from his coffee that had finally cooled down enough to do more than sip carefully.

But when Sean made a point of reestablishing eye contact, Stefan’s anxiety returned. Followed quickly by confusion and shock. No more flirting. Even when he was drunk. What kind of ultimatum was that? Flirting was just who Stefan was. It was harmless…usually. Stefan’s way of making small talk or giving a compliment. Some people asked about other’s careers or mentioned how they liked a person’s new shoes. But Stefan let people know how much he enjoyed their company by commenting on their posterior or joking that they should accompany him home for a few drink. Just because Sean and Josh were exclusive didn’t mean that they couldn’t handle a few compliments, right?

“Umm…I…” Stefan said, stumbling for words and he took a long drink from his coffee and wished he had added more from his flask into it. “Really?”

Stefan sighed, rubbing his sore leg beneath the table as his friend gave his solemn answer. This was all way too much seriousness for so early in the morning. Ignoring his coffee for the moment, he took a long drink straight from his flask.

Still, this was his friend. And Stefan loved his friends. He would do anything for anyone of them. And if this was Sean and Josh wanted, well…he’d just have to do his very best. “Okay,” Stefan said.

Stefan gave a smile, half genuine, half forced, when Sean continued. “Well I do love to give out compliments. When they’re due, of course. And you and Josh deserve your fair share of those.”

Still Stefan had to wonder to himself how well this would work at parties. He’d supposed he’d just have to steer himself towards more willing company. At least this conversation had happened and Stefan could put his fears to rest about Sean and Josh holding any sort of grudge. Of course now he worried about his ability to keep to the terms of their arrangement, but he would worry about that later. He had learned there was no use in worrying in what he would or wouldn’t do when he was drunk. Things had a way or working out, even if it did lead to awkward moments sometimes.

Stefan had never been known for his skills in moderation. Even as a youngster, he was always the one who ate too much sour candy and them complained that his tongue was raw for the next three days. He lived his live with every activity and hobby cranked up to eleven. After all, there was no point in doing things half-way, right?

"But I am being friendly," Stefan said, without thinking. He didn't mean to start an argument, but he was hoping to make Sean understand. He knew that Josh and Sean were in a committed relationship, and had been on and off again for some time now. It wasn't like he was ever going to stand in the way of that. Stefan had morals after all. Not that he wouldn't mind being with either man, but he wouldn't allow his own lust for companionship to get between something like what his two friends had. He was happy for them.

And a tad jealous, if he really let himself think about. Which he was trying hard not to do with Sean sitting across the table from him.

Still, these were his friends. And even if he was a tad envious of what they had, he was happy that at least his friends were happy. Plus, if he was serious with himself, he was no where near ready to settle down in a long-term relationship. There was too much added excitement in a bachelor life.

"But if that's what makes you two happy, well then," he paused to take a long drink straight from his flask." "Then who am I to argue?"