What am I Supposed to Do? (Sean)

Though there was no anger or disapproval in Sean's voice, the younger man held more than enough for himself when he heard those words. The lock clicked into place, not only preventing others from entering... but him from leaving. Silent and musing, the trainer took to the seat before the desk, stiff and uncomfortable.


Things shouldn't have turned out like this. He should have been more prepared, should have told his student directly that their relationship was professional and not... well, not like this. Giving comfort and understanding was one thing, and it was something the soldier could give without restraint. Affection on this personal a level was inappropriate, and something he could not give; not just because of his position, but because of his own feelings. To fake something like that would be worse than if he truly had them in the first place.


He needed help. Advice, guidance, something to say so that his wayward student would stop this but not tear himself to pieces over the rejection. However, he didn't even know what to say to Sean, let alone the boy. So, taking a deep breath to calm himself, he said what came to mind, honestly and with little reservation.


"Friday afternoon, Leiken and I had our scheduled training session," he began. "By then, I was already suspecting that he had an attraction for me, but I was willing to wait to be sure before I said anything. We were studying meditation in order to train him that listening to and understanding his emotions was important to controlling his powers. He did remarkably well for his first time, though something unnerved him. He moved away and... I consoled him."


As he spoke, Vincent remembered each detail of the session vividly, as if the act of talking about it was forcing him to remember everything. The conversation, the pain in Lei's voice, the tears on the boy's face as he talked about his former lover. His nightmares. His mistrust. It was still fresh in his mind, and each action the trainer had taken (while innocent enough from his perspective) seemed to weigh against him as he looked back on it. This was a grave misunderstanding, and Vincent knew it was his fault this had become so gnarled.


But what was he supposed to have done? Let the boy hurt alone and refuse to offer any sympathy? As distant as he was with most people, even he wasn't that cold.


"As he spoke to me, his abilities receded. There was no attempt at bruising or altering my heart rate; as if by talking about what haunted him..." There was closure there, but the trainer didn't know how to express that idea. so, he shook his head and moved on. "I was proud of him for controlling himself, even if it was subconscious. He needed that push, to show that he was doing better. I showed him that despite our closeness, he had not hurt me at all and he smiled."


That smile had been a reminder about how young his student was, and despite the happiness he had felt in the moment Vincent now felt some regret. He'd boosted the boy's hopes, yes, but perhaps in entirely the wrong direction. When he saw that smile, he forgot that Lei was a teenage boy with spurious affections; he was a child who had been given hope, and the look on his face was a beautiful thing.


But then, Lei had kissed him. And reality had come in hard and fast, slamming into the trainer with little regard to his own feelings on the subject. "He was overjoyed," he murmured. "Too exited, and acted without thinking. I could not think of what to say or do, so I dismissed him from the lesson. He left without argument, and we have had no contact since."


Considering the trainer checked his emails during lunch hours (since there was no computer in his office by his request), he had yet to receive the email Lei had sent him that morning.


"I do not want to hurt Lei," he stated, and his will was strong on that. "The boy trusts few and his emotions are fragile. But this cannot continue and I do not know how to make this right" Looking up at the serious man before him for a moment, he bowed his head deeply and asked, "Please, Sean - I ask for your help."

The older man had said exactly what Vincent knew needed to be done, though he offered no explanation as to how it needed to be said. The refusal would be given, yes, but how it was phrased was often the issue with such things. Direct and to the point was needed, but how much damage would it do? The trainer didn't know; that's why he was asking for help. He was never very good at being anything but blunt with this sort of thing.


As Sean began speaking about the prior incident (which, being new, he had not heard stories of yet, though he knew such things happened), something cold settled in Vincent's chest. He looked up at the older man, eyes wary and expression guarded as the therapist finished. He almost spoke, a sting of wounded pride and anger almost forcing words from his mouth, but he held it back with effort. This was a warning, not a threat. A promise, should things go any further.


Fighting to regain composure, he took a breath and settled back, maintaining a straight posture in the chair while relaxing more muscles. Getting upset wouldn't benefit this situation at all. "I understand," he answered, his voice cold despite himself. "I know what needs to be done. I only need to know how to approach this. You know of his issues when trusting others." Can't you see why I have to be careful?

While he did care about his position in the school and the responsibilities thereof, that wasn't the main reason why he refused to accept this relationship. Not only was it something he didn't want on a personal level (as the feelings were not reciprocated), the circumstances involved were wrong. Therefore, he would be sure to make it clear that this could not be tolerated, for better or for worse.


"There is no other way, then," he mused, a degree of self-loathing present in the words. He should have stopped this before it got so far, and now a young boy would pay the price for his mistake. And to think that he was finally starting to open up, to trust me...


Standing abruptly, Vincent bowed quickly to the older man, his anger smoldering despite his attempts at calm. If there was nothing else to be done, then there was no other reason for him to be here. He would not be openly rude either, but he could not see what possible use it was to repeat things he already knew. "Thank you for your counsel, Dr. Neville. I will be sure to end this decisively."


The younger man straightened and moved for the door, his long legs closing the gap in only a few strides. While he intended to leave without another word, reaching the door made him pause even as he moved to unlock it. The original reason why he had scheduled this appointment in the first place. Looking back, a grim countenance settled over the trainer. "I will let you know the outcome of this once it has occurred. I apologize, but our other subject will have to wait."