I Feel Unpretty (Lucah)

[Belle Harrington]

Belle left the Courtyard, and her urge of being outside had completely died. Her wings were back inside her now, and she wanted to get out of the sunlight. She wanted to be in the dark, somewhere no one would see her. She wanted to hide away. She wanted to cry, but was stopping herself. She wanted to be with Amelia. She made her way slowly to her dorm room with all her items in her satchel and her binoculars around her neck, she decided that she didn't want to spend this time crying but doing something productive. Like maybe study or researching something. She didn't know.

Arriving at her dorm room, Belle put her binoculars away, took Amelia out of her cage, and kissed the bird, before putting her back in the cage and heading towards the library. That would be the best place for her. Belle had already read her books over and over and needed to get new books to read. Maybe she could look into information about koi fish, like the ones swimming in the pond. Or maybe she could just find a fictional book to read? Escape into another world? She didn't know. She wanted to get away from everything.

That boy. The one who had attacked Talen. It was all his fault. She was feeling like this because of him. Feeling like crap. Like a monster. She felt so ugly. How dare he say she was scary? That her wings were scary? She knew they were, but what gave him the right to tell her that? Why did he have to? What had she done to him? As Belle continued walking, so many thoughts ran through her head and she kept getting more and more upset. She wanted to get away from everything.

Placing her iPod ear buds into her ears, Belle turned it on. She wanted to drown out the world, and what better than a song that made her smile, playing her favorite song, Debussy's "Clair de Lune."

Finally, Belle arrived at the Library. She wanted to get as far away from any one she could. So making her way into the aisles now, Belle began to look for a book. Anything to pull her mind away from the monster that she was, that's when she found Stephen Chbosky's "The Perks of Being a Wallflower." Immediately Belle took it to the furthest table and started reading while listening to music.

After reading some of the book, Belle began crying, she was a wallflower. She felt the pain for the narrator like she felt pain for herself. She was so different from everyone else, but she was also so passive and quiet that no one truly noticed her or knew her. If she were a stronger person she would have told that guy off who called her scary not come into the library to cry. She would have got involved to separate the fight, and try to defend Talen, not stand there with her mouth gaped open like a fish. But she didn't. She was weak.

Finally Belle put the book down, she couldn't read anymore, there were too many tears falling from her eyes now. All she could think about was how big of a monster she was. How that boy said she was scary. And how growing up she had always been known as the freak. She hated who she was. Hated the monster that she was, but all she could do was cry over it.

[Lucah Ivaskov]

Today was just a bad day. Sure, most days for Lucah weren't the best, but this particular day seemed to be going more than just bad. First to start off the day he gets a letter from his 'loving' father saying that he was not welcome back home for the summer. Translated that meant he was not allowed to have an effect on his little sister who would soon be manifesting in power. Lucah would only make it worse according to his father. That alone made Lucah want to break down into nothing.

Secondly he had gone over to see how well Adrianna was doing because of the recent break up between her and her pyro boy. Lucah knew it would never last because the pyro was aching to go home. It was obvious and the fact that Adrianna had not seen it coming was her own fault. Once he got to her dorm he found her dancing and twirling around like some moronic psycho having a total meltdown. She was too happy. Lucah envied her.

And now here he was on his way to the library because he had no friends. Lucah wasn't a loner back in Romania. He had friends and a loving, adorable little sister that he missed so much. He wanted to be back home where he belonged, but because of his father, he was unwelcome. Lucah hated his life now. After his mother died it all turned to hell. Nothing mattered to him anymore and because of it, he turned to stone. He felt nothing, was cruel and brutal to everyone and alone.

As Lucah stepped into the library trying to find a secluded area that everyone would pass by, he noticed a girl crying in his usual spot. Usually on days like this he would have gone over and politely, yet brutally, gone off on the girl. Today was different. He saw her...crying? One of his many weaknesses was girls crying. It always reminded him of Jezebel crying and that was just too much to bear.

Lucah walked over slowly and sat down beside the girl cautiously. He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and asked barely above a whisper, "Are you alright miss?" His chivalrous roots were kicking in. Whenever there was a young lady crying, the gentlemanly thing to do was offer her a tissue or something that she wanted. Lucah didn't keep tissues at hand, but he did want to make sure she was alright. She seemed pretty upset and it not only reminded him of Jezebel, but also Adrianna.

Adrian was like a sister to him, they rarely got along, but he still cared for her. He wanted her to be happy, much like Jezebel. It was just that Adrian reminded him so much of his little sister.

[Belle Harrington]

Belle sat there quietly crying for a bit, the music in her ears made it hard for her to hear anything going around her, and the fact that her hands were covering her face made it hard for her to see anything. She could feel movement around her, but she didn't want to look up and acknowledge it. It wasn't until she felt a hand on her shoulder that she jumped slightly in her seat.

Looking at the boy next to her, she pulled her ear buds out of her ears, and wiped her eyes. "Are you alright miss?" She heard him ask and she nodded her head, "Y-yes... Th-th-thank you..." She said, as she continued wiping her face, but the tears wouldn't stop, she couldn't understand why.

She looked at the boy red faced, as she continued wiping her tears. She was so embarrassed that she had been caught crying in the library. She just couldn't get away with it today, could she? She thought to herself, as she continued to softly cry. And why couldn't she stop crying? It was like her eyes were leaking, and wouldn't stop.

Eventually Belle gave up trying to stop crying, and hung her head, looking down at the table, she sighed, and wiped her eyes. For some reason her body didn't want to stop crying. For some reason she couldn't stop crying. So she just gave up. Same way she gave up talking when she was younger, and the same way she gave up laughing. Maybe crying would take over Belle's life now, like silence had before.

Looking up now, Belle turned her attention back to the boy. She was sure she had seen him around before. Lucah? She thought his name was. She didn't want to say anything about them meeting before. He obviously didn't remember her, he had called her miss before. Smiling weakly at Lucah, Belle let out a small pathetic giggle, "I-I'm sorry I k-keep c-crying..." She said wiping her eyes again.

[Lucah Ivaskov]

Lucah looked at her more closely and recognized her from the courtyard when he had been with Cole and Ember. What was her name again? Belle? Yes, Belle. He looked at her with deep concern in his bright, electric blue eyes. She seemed so hurt. What could have possibly happened to her for her to be so upset? He didn't ask because she didn't seem like she wanted to talk about it. He frowned, "There's no need to apologize for crying. It's kind of involuntary sometimes. You're Belle aren't you?" He asked just to make sure.

Lucah felt bad that she was crying. Something bad must have happened. Of course with all of the jerks that filled Hammel it wouldn't surprise him if Zac or even Rhett had gotten to her. They seemed to be the worst ones. In some people's eyes Lucah fit into that category too, but unlike them, he had a conscious and it told him when he was being too harsh. That was one thing that he and his father didn't have in common. Lucah cared.

"What happened? If you don't mind me asking..." He said in a quiet, soothing tone. Lucah had a soft side. No one saw it, but it was there. He had made people cry, he had made people run away. He was one of those jerks, but he didn't want to be. It was programmed into him. Luckily, before his mother had passed away she had raised him to treat girls with respect and be polite to them. Whereas his father tried to teach him that woman were nothing but incubators. Real nice guy his father was.

Lucah shook his head infinitesimally as he thought of his father and then focused back on Belle. There was something about her that made him want to change. She was so fragile and he couldn't possibly find it in him to treat her the way he treated everyone else.

[Belle Harrington]

When Lucah told her that she didn't need to apologize for her crying she smiled softly, and wiped her tears away again. She could feel them slowing down. She felt her composure coming back. When he asked if her name was Belle, she nodded her head. So he did remember that was good, she thought to herself. Her green eyes focusing on his blue eyes, they were so blue. So beautiful. Like the sky. But prettier. She thought to herself. She must have looked disgusting in front of this guy, sniveling and crying alone in a library. But why should that matter? She thought harshly to herself. Even if someone did find her the slightest bit pretty, they would run away in fear from her wings, or call her cruel names.

"What happened? If you don't mind me asking..." She heard him say. His voice was so soft, and so soothing, she could feel her tears coming to an end. "Th-th-this guy," She whimpered, she didn't know his name. She thought quietly to herself trying to recall his appearance, "H-he's tall... B-blonde... Sk-skinny...Grey eyes..." she furrowed her brows, "And s-so m-mean..." She sniffed back her tears. She didn't want to tell him what the boy had said to her. She didn't want to tell Lucah her disfigurement. Her curse. Her stupid wings. She didn't want him to know what kind of monster.

She wiped a stray tear, and frowned, "I h-h-hate h-him... I did n-nothing to him!" She sighed, and looked down at the desk again. She never did anything to anyone, but for some reason people always wanted to hurt her. Or tried hurting her. She hated being so weak.

[Lucah Ivaskov]

Lucah smiled back at her with his sweet, charming smile that was rarely used. He put his arm around her shoulders cautiously, not wanting to push his limits. He heard her describe the guy that upset her. Blond, tall, skinny...gray eyes? Rhett. Lucah's jaw flexed and he sighed. Of course. He knew it had been one of the two. What would provoke Rhett to be so cruel to Belle though? "Why would he be so mean to you if you didn't do anything? What did he say exactly?"

He sighed, "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to pry. I'm just trying to understand his motives." Lucah knew Rhett wouldn't say anything mean unless he was provoked. Usually he ignored people. Lucah knew mostly just from stories. He had never actually met Rhett before. He tried to think of things that he had heard about Rhett, but nothing seemed to be helping him.

"Did he come over to you and just say something cruel and walk away? Or were you talking to him before?" He asked more quietly as he thought to himself. As he had said, he wasn't trying to pry, but he was curious. American men just didn't seem to understand chivalry and manners. It was ridiculous to Lucah.

((OOC: sorry for the shorter posts, I'm having trouble with the detail))

[Belle Harrington]

When Lucah smiled at her, she couldn't help but smile back. He had such a charming and beautiful smile, Belle had to try to stop herself from blushing at him. When his arm went over her shoulder, Belle's eyes and face went immediately to the floor has her face turned a bright red.

Belle sat there, looking at the floor and listened to all of Lucah's question, it only made sense he wanted to know. He just wanted to know why she was crying, he was being so nice to her, and with a sigh Belle started from the beginning.

She began telling Lucah about how she had gone out earlier that day to do some bird watching, and that she was approached by a boy named Talen. And as Talen and her talked a bit the blonde boy came charging at the two of them and tackled Talen for no reason. Taking a deep breath she continued to telling him the story.

"W-when I get sc-scared...My w-wings come out..." She sighed at looked up at the boy. Her eyes watering again. "H-he said it was sc-scary..." She frowned. She didn't want to be so sensitive. She didn't want to be so weak. She looked at her hands now, as she fidgeted with her dress. "I h-hate my wings..." She sighed, tears filling her eyes again. She didn't want to start crying again because she knew like before she'd have a hard time stopping.

She looked up at Lucah and a few tears fell down her face, "I-I already know I-I'm a monster... H-he didn't n-n-need to remind m-me," she was still frowning sadly, her eyebrows furrowed, as she tried to wipe away the stray tears.

[Lucah Ivaskov]

Lucah listened to her tell him what happened. Talen? He'd heard that name before. It still confused him that Rhett would first of all tackle Talen for some unknown reason and second of all take it out on Belle. People frustrated Lucah to no end. He saw her start to get more upset and he squeezed her shoulders to comfort her. Wings? So she was a flyer? He personally thought that her power was interesting, not freakish.

She thought she was a monster and Rhett hadn't helped with that nonsense. She wasn't a monster just because she had wings. Birds were beautiful to Lucah, Jez's raven had always been one of his favorite animals. Wings weren't scary, they were beautiful. "You're not a monster Belle." His voice was soft and slightly irritable because of what he had heard.

"For him to tell you that you are scary because you have wings is simply unforgivable. Just because you don't appear to be the same as everyone else, doesn't mean you're any less beautiful. I personally think that your power and wings are remarkable." Lucah smiled down at her and shrugged.

"You need to work on being less...sensitive. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, by any means, but it makes you a target. People at this school prey on the weak, sensitive people that don't stick up for themselves. Either you need to be more ruthless...or you need someone to be there to defend you." He said quietly as he looked down at her. I could be that person... he thought to himself with a sigh.

[Belle Harrington]

Belle sighed and pulled her notebook out of her satchel now. It was her bird watching notebook, where she kept all her research on the birds she had seen throughout her life.

"You're not a monster Belle." She heard him telling her, his voice was soft but there seemed to be a sense of irritability in his voice as well. Had she upset him? She thought to herself, and tucked her hair behind her ear. Belle simply shook her head in disagreement. She was a monster, but there was no point arguing.

"For him to tell you that you are scary because you have wings is simply unforgivable. Just because you don't appear to be the same as everyone else, doesn't mean you're any less beautiful. I personally think that your power and wings are remarkable." She looked up to see him smiling at her, his hand on her shoulder getting tighter in comfort. He was such a sweet guy. She thought to herself. "I-I l-love wings. A-and f-f-flying. And b-b-birds" Especially birds. "B-but not w-wings o-on m-me," she frowned and opened her notebook to her most recent page.

When he told her that she needed to be less sensitive she nodded in agreement. She knew that already, but it was who she was. She could never see herself being ruthless and mean like that boy had been. She couldn't see herself being confrontational, or aggressive. It wasn't who she was. She was Belle. The quiet bird and insect loving monster with wings.

And then he said it, "Or you need someone to be there to defend you," Belle had never thought of that before. Having someone else defend her. Why would she do that? She never was the type of depend on another person, she was very independent, either than her father and Amelia, Belle never imagined or thought she needed anyone else in her life. But she had to ask what he was talking about, "S-s-someone else t-to d-defend m-me...?" Her eyes focused on Lucah's, and she smiled softly with her tilted to the side.

[Lucah Ivaskov]

Lucah nodded, "Yeah. If someone was there to keep you from getting hurt by all the jerks in this place then you'd probably be a lot happier. It'll make life in Hammel a lot easier too." He said with a shrug. Luc knew he was reaching. He really was hoping she'd ask him to defend her. Gladly he would. It was like being a knight in shining armor. Not to mention it would help her. She didn't deserve to be treated that way by anyone no matter what the circumstances were.

Lucah looked down her notebook and then at his feet. He had never really been nice to anyone like this before. At least not anyone his age. Usually he was nice to the younger kids, unless they got under his skin and annoyed the heck out of him. That happened a few times here and there, but not too often. He waited for her answer. He guessed she'd think he was being a bit pushy and maybe too forward.

If she thought that he wouldn't care. It would be the topper to a great day. He'd most likely just get up and walk back to his dorm. Then he'd lock himself in his room and stare at the wall. That was Lucah for you. Either that or he'd find someone to make miserable, obviously he wasn't much better than Rhett or Zac for that matter.

((OOC: Sorry, fail post.))

[Belle Harrington]

"Yeah. If someone was there to keep you from getting hurt by all the jerks in this place then you'd probably be a lot happier. It'll make life in Hammel a lot easier too." Belle heard Lucah telling her. She knew what he was getting at, and she had to think it over a bit.

Sitting there for a couple of seconds, Belle thought to herself. It would help her out a lot if he would help her around the school. And having him around to be there for her would be nice to. It was like he was offering to be her friend. Her guardian angel. Her knight in shining armor. There were so many different things she could see him as and she was happy that he was willing to help her out.

"W-w-will y-you help m-me out w-with all th-these th-things?" She asked, looking up at Lucah now looking him in the eyes, a small smile on her face. She wouldn't lie that she found him very attractive and part of her wanted a good looking guy around her at all times. And to have one who was so nice and caring to her was so much better.

She wasn't ready to be in any form of intimate relationship yet, but she felt that with Lucah's help she could finally start feeling better about herself. And that maybe one day his friendship could grow to more. If not then she would at least be grateful to have him around in her life.

((OOC: sorry this one is pretty bad haha.))

[Lucah Ivaskov]

Lucah looked at her and smiled. She had asked! He nodded, "If you'd like. I'd be honored my lady." He said in a polite tone that leaked his Romanian accent. He never really sounded Romanian until he stopped trying to force back his accent. He was happy she trusted him so much. Maybe now people would see that he had a soft side to him. She could help him as much as he was helping her.

He no longer felt so alone. He finally felt like someone understood him. No one ever gave him a chance. Yes it was partially his fault because he was always so judgmental, but it wasn't his fault. That was how he'd been raised. Judge everyone based on first impression no matter what kind of day they're having. His father put that into his mind at a young age. He hated it.

Lucah couldn't help but feel happy that she wanted him around. She was beautiful. She was nice. She understood him! He could deal with friendship first, he'd never had a real relationship before. Romania was so different in the dating world. He didn't date. He got a woman picked out for him to marry when he was of age. Dating was going to be a very new experience. So friendship first was good.

[Belle Harrington]

Belle smiled back at his smile, she liked watching him smile. And seeing his eyes brighten up. He seemed sad when he first arrived in the library like she had been, but he cheered her up, and it seemed that she cheered him up somehow too. She was happy that she was beginning to allow someone else into her closed life. There were others that were newly important in her life, like Robbie, and she was happy that she was beginning

"If you'd like. I'd be honored my lady." She heard him speak in a polite tone, an accent leaking through his words. She giggled slightly at hearing the accent. "Th-Thank you, and I-I l-like your ac-ac-accent!" She said happily, she guessed he was comfortable enough with her now to drop his American act, and speak with his regular accent.

Belle was so used to keeping people out of her life. Blocking them out whenever they tried getting close, but she felt happier now than she had in a while. Happy now that she was beginning to let people in like Lucah and Robbie. She was finally beginning to feel that she was normal, that people actually wanted to be her friends.

She smiled sweetly at Lucah, and brought her hand to his that was sitting on her shoulder and gently patted it, before turning her attention back to her notebook. "Wh-what do y-y-you love?" She asked curiously, wondering what kinds of things he liked and was interested in.

[Lucah Ivaskov]

Lucah blushed slightly when she mentioned his accent. "I'm from Romania. It's my home and I miss it dearly...except for my dad...I don't miss him much." He shrugged. Bad mentioning of his father. He definitely hadn't wanted to mention that. Daddy issues weren't talked about, not with anyone. He smiled when she patted his hand and it brought a stop to his inner freak out.

"Well I'm a musician and I write some poetry here and there. Piano is my favorite instrument," Lucah smiled wider and looked at her. "Maybe I could show you one of the songs I wrote sometime." He suggested with a shrug. He didn't want to push it. Just being around her a few times would be enough. He wouldn't force his presence on her.

"What else are you interested in Belle?" He asked trying to get to know her better. It'd be easier for him to stick up for her if he knew more about her. That was simple fact.

((OOC: Bad post again, sorry))

[Belle Harrington]

Belle smiled when Lucah talked about Romania, he sincerely seemed to miss his life there. It must be so hard for him to be so far away from his home. She was far from her father but she still saw him at least once a week when he came to visit her. And she loved seeing him, Lucah on the other hand didn't seem to like his father at all. But Belle wouldn't pry, she knew that if he wanted to get into the subject he would do so himself. "I-I-it must be so be-be-beautiful over there!" She exclaimed happily trying to imagine where Lucah had come from.

When Lucah spoke of writing and playing music Belle's eyes lit up, "D-d-do you play c-classical music?" she asked a smile on her face. She absolutely adored classical music and how it soothed her. Belle smiled and nodded happily when Lucah said that he could show her something he had written himself. She was excited. She had a friend! Someone who wanted to be around her and share things with her! "I-I-I would love to h-hear something you wrote o-one d-d-day," she said excitedly. Who would have known that by trying to run away from everything she would run into one of the greatest people she'd meet so far at Hammel?

When asked what Belle was interested in a huge grin crawled onto her face. Where should she start? Thinking quietly, she pointed at her notebook sitting on the table, "I-I adore b-birds and f-f-find bugs f-fascinating!" It was hard for her to hold her excitement down and she had to keep reminding herself about keeping her voice down. They were of course in a library. "I also l-l-like classical m-music v-v-very much," she sighed, closing her eyes and leaned back a bit into Lucah's arm. All her favorite things running through her mind now.

After a moment of happy thought, Belle looked over at Lucah and smiled, "O-oh y-y-you must meet A-A-Amelia!" she said happily. "I r-really think sh-she'll love you!" She smiled excitedly. She had never opened up to another person so much before. She felt like with Lucah she could relax and be herself. Well she was always herself, but with Lucah she felt accepted.

Slowly her mind began to wonder if he would run away from her once he saw her wings... But she shook that thought from her head she would become protective when she needed to be, but right now she felt that she could let her guard down.