Maybe it's a dream ... (Orion)

[Leiken Chu]

Lei didn't know where he'd gone, where he would end up, no he wasn't really aware that he was even outside of his own dream. his arms hung at his side as he walked through the hallway. his casted arm lightly thumping against his hip with each step. Though his footsteps lightly echoed upon the old floors.

He reached a club room, which is where he would stop in his journey, not really realizing that it was exactly that. No, he wasn't really awake, more so he was sleep walking for the time being. His finger slid against the door handle, pulling it open, walking through the doorway as he made his way to the window on the opposing side of the room. Staring out of it for some time.

It was about twenty minutes later when Lei would snap out of this dream-like daze. Looking around his surroundings with an expression of confusion. He felt scared, his hands gripped at his hair, sinking to the floor beneath the window as he drew his legs close to his chest. his body aching surfacing as his mind became aware of his surroundings, "I'm going crazy." he stated aloud to himself.

Or was it a dream? Maybe it was a dream. Yeah it had to be, that had to explain it, why else would he have walked through the school halls in his pajamas ? Leiken leaned his head back against the wall, at least the room was empty for now, standing up then he took in a deep breath. If it was a dream he could do what he wanted right ? Who would see? Noone was even there in his dram. Maybe he could fly. maybe he could sing without someone hearing. maybe he could run through the halls naked without punishment.

As he turned back to the window he stared out of it, giving a soft huff of a breath, he wondered when the blood would come to stain his dream. "Maybe it's a dream; maybe nothing else is real. But it wouldn't mean a thing if i told you how i feel. So i'm tired of all the pain, of the misery inside and I wish that i could live feeling nothing but the night~" he sang softly into the silent and darkened room.

[Orion Urswick]

Orion had spent another late night at Hammel grading, and by the time the clock stuck eleven, he was ready to be done. But rather than go home right away, he decided to go up to one of his favorite rooms to get a little relaxation in before he drove home.

He went up a couple flights of stairs until he reached the class where the astronomy club met. It was a small club, but one he was very passionate about, and he had been able to purchase a pretty high-quality telescope for the students to use whenever they wished.

Or, for him to use, really.

It was located in the back corner of the room, where the shadows of the walls were darkest and made the stars most clear to the eye through the lens. Orion stood there for some time, peering at different constellations and stars through a scattering of clouds. It was only the shuffle of footsteps that made him look away.

He couldn't tell who it was that had entered the room at first, and stepped back further into the shadows so he wouldn't be seen. Not that he was embarrassed or anything, he just wasn't particularly in a talkative mood with some strange person he didn't know. But as the person stepped into the light, he recognized none other than Lei, looking almost in a trance. He was about to speak before he realized that he might have come up here to be alone.

But as the time passed, Orion began to realize he really was in some kind of sleepwalking state. It wasn't until the boy slumped to the ground that the teacher shifted and was about to say something, but he just wasn't sure what. Then Leiken started singing, and a faint smile touched Orion's lips as he shoved his hands into his pockets and listened for a moment.

Then,"Do you sing often?" he asked quietly, hoping not to startle the boy. It probably was going to happen anyway, considering he had been sort of creeping in the shadows the entire time, but he had to say something. "You have a nice voice." He walked forward until he could be clearly seen in the moonlight streaming through a window, a light smile on his face. "What are you doing up here, Lei? Shouldn't you be resting?" It wasn't so much getting after him as Orion was curious.

[Leiken Chu]

"you can tell me what to say; you cant ell me where to go but i doubt that I would care, and my heart would never know~ If i make another move there'll be no more turning back because everything will change, and it will all fade to black." he sang as he drew his hands to his face. Rubbing the surface slightly as tears slid down his cheeks. Smeared by the motions of his own hands though it wasn't as though it mattered how pathetic he looked; it was a dream right?

"Will tomorrow ever come? Will i make it through the night? Will there ever be a place for he broken in the light? Am i hurting? Am I sad? should i stay, should i go? I've forgotten how to tell. Did i ever even know?" he sang though his words began to choke between his tears. His heart ache was apparent within those tears and that voice as he rubbed at his eyes with one arm.

"Can i take another step? I've done everything I can. All the people that i see i will never understand. if i find a way to change, if i step into the light. Then i'll never be the same and it will fade to white." he sang out. Though he sighed heavily, his voice growing a littel quieter, a little more unsure. "Ever on and on I continue, circling with nothing but my hate, in a carousel of agony..." His singing stopped as he leaned to the window. Pressing his fingers against the glass, watching as it fogged beneath his fingertips, he brushed his fingertip in a pointless pattern upon the surface.

Though hearing the sudden voice behind him he jolted visibly. Turning sharply, though he gave a a small whimper of pain as the sudden movement stung his tender body, "Acht!" He gripped at his side. "ugh..whoever said that you can't feel pain in dreams is full of shit." he stated aloud as he hugged his arms around his own body. Leaning back to that window, staring toward that 'dream' orion with leafy eyes seeming to hold a strange calmness to them despite everything, "It's my dream, I do what I want, I am surprised to see you in my dreams though. Usually it's vincent or Ay. " he stated looking at his own wrists. There were no chains holding him down this time, "this dream is new to me. Usually my dreams are much more...morbid."

[Orion Urswick]

Orion wasn't quite sure what sort of state Leiken was in at the moment, but it was obvious he was upset, and he frowned, unsure of what to do. He had stopped singing, but he was still crying, and that made the teacher quite sad. He hated to see such a young student so full of potential so upset.

He realized, too, now, that Lei thought he was dreaming. Orion would have to put that to an end; it would be cruel to make him think otherwise. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," he apologized, taking a few steps closer so that he was standing near where Lei was sitting. "You feel pain because this isn't a dream, Lei," he told him softly. "I think you were sleepwalking, and you ended up in the Astronomy Club room. But you're very much awake."

Rather than towering over the boy, Orion sat down beside him, leaning his back against the wall before looking back over at him. "I'm sorry that your dreams are morbid, though. That makes it very hard to sleep, I know." Lei wasn't alone in having nightmares; Orion had them quite often, too. "It's intriguing we've bumped into each other yet again," he mused softly. "It's as though fate has tied us together somehow. How are your injuries doing?" he added, glancing the boy over. He looked better, if not completely healed.

[Leiken Chu]

"It's alright. It's only a dream so it's not like it will give me a heart attack or anything. " he mentioned as he rubbed at his face. Wiping the tears away still as he fought back the pain that filled him inside and out. Emotional, physical, it was all melted together in a big pot of a hot mess.

"You were a star in my nightmare the last time. Why are you normal this time? Why is everything normal looking. I don't understand what is happening to me. Ever since he rejected me. Things in my nightmares have been changing. you're part of this dream why can't you tell me why? Is Ay going to show up again? Will i have to see his death anymore? " he questioned Orion as if he were supposed to be the page master of his dream.

"I wonder if it's true that you die in reality if you die in your dreams. " he stated aloud. Though as the other man informed him that it was not a dream with his own pain his face looked horrified. "S-sleep walk? I've never.. wait.. if this isn't a dream then..." he trailed off at that point his face going beat red as he slapped his hands over it. How embarassing... He was sitting there in his pajamas rambling personal things on to a man he thought he was only dreaming about. "Kill me now dear gods..." he muttered against his hands in his embarrassed state.

"It does..." he would finally say, lowering his hands, staring toward the floor. "Fate. That's the second time today i've heard that word. " he mused. "maybe it's trying to tell me something. " he stated with a slight dry laugh. "bound us together? " lei gave a weak smile. "fate is cruel to have us meet when i am such a mess. " he stated refering to the pajamas he wore. Though he'd been covered in blood and disgust when the man saw him before so he shouldn't have been surprised.

"They're doing well, just light bruising still, nothing bad. I'm just really sore and a little dizzy when i stand." he explained. "I don't know how i even managed to get here."

[Orion Urswick]

As Lei started throwing questions at Orion, he couldn't quite keep up. He waited until he was done spewing them out before replying: "I'm a star in your dreams, eh? I quite like that. I wonder what type of star I am?" He mused this over for a moment before continuing. "I don't know why your dreams are changing, Lei, but I'm sure it means something. Dreams always do." That, he firmly believed in. He couldn't answer his questions, of course, because he wasn't all-knowing, but it was obvious Lei was going through a difficult time in his life and needed all the support he could get.

Orion let out a dark chuckle. "I sure hope that's not true, because if so, I'm a ghost, or a zombie. I've died many times in my dreams." That was when Lei got the message that this wasn't a dream, and the teacher gave him a sympathetic smile. "It's quite alright. I would be confused if I were you, too. I'm just glad you didn't end up somewhere more dangerous or something." What if he had walked into the pond or something? Or another student's room? Eesh.

He laughed again. "Ah, fate. So many people talk about it, yet no one can ever really completely understand it." Orion glanced over at the student. "Maybe it is," he agreed. Who was he to say yes or no? "Bah, you're not in a mess!" he retorted, waving a dismissive hand. The last time had been far worse. "It's not your fault you ended up here anyway. I was just taking a few minutes to use the room for my stargazing," he explained, motioning behind him to the large telescope by the window in the back of the room.

"That's good to hear!" Orion exclaimed, giving a bright grin. "Definitely better than when I saw you a while back, then. I'm so glad you're doing okay." He had been very worried for a time. "I don't know either," he replied, tilting his head back to rest against the wall. "You must've really been out of it, or something."

[Leiken Chu]

"yeah, usually, but not this one. Usually you're a bright star that lights the sky, or when i have bad dreams you're a cartoon like star that i can hug anad hold onto and will glow bright enough for me to see in the dark." he stated absent-mindedly. "Do they? Can you tell me what mine mean? They're so horrible but i had grown used to that, but now they're changing and i don't know whether or not is worse or better." he stated softly.

"I see." He stated almost disappointed in tone. As though he had hoped he could have the courage in his dreams to take away the problems he caused with his very being. "I don't think you're either so you're probably right." he mused with a soft laugh. His face was flushed a deep shade of red as he hid it withn the palms of his hands. Though he lowered them, hunching his shoulders over a bit, as if he were still in a state of mortification. He'd said so many strange things to the man thinking he waas a dream. "Stargazer..." he muzed before looking to the other man.

"I'm sorry you had to see that. " he stated softly. "I'm not really sure either. I've never sleep walked before. " he stated though he paused a bit. Seeming thoughtful before he slid his legs close to his iown chest, draping his arms over his legs, pressing his chin to his knees as he spoke. "I wanted to explain that. About what happened that you found me like that, but first. Please know there are some parts i will leave out for personal reasons. " he stated though he most of it was personal to him.

"That day, I went to confess my affections for someone, something I had not done since before I came here. The last person i ever loved ended up dead because of my own hands. " he stated looking to his own hands. Clenching his fists a bit, but then relaxing them as he continued. "I have an ability. To control blood. I can make it move, i can make it slow,and i can make it fast. I can make it clot and i can make it leave someone's body entirely. " he murmured with a pained tone though he seemed to trust Orion a great deal to tell him those things.

"That day, my power manifested because my heart had been broken into pieces, I was rejected completely and everything i felt back then and right then as well came rushing back to me. i was so broken that i screamed as loud as i could trying to relieve the pain, but my ability manifested and tried to push the pain away itself. It tried force the blood out of me. When vinny grabbed me..It drew off of him too. It attacked him too. I .. i can do the same thing to other people." he explained.

"Most people who touch me end up hurt like that. That is why I often pull away from being touched." he explained to the other man. "I just don't want someone else to be hurt. " he explained. "I am a monster, but i want to be part of the stars. If i were part of the night's sky i could only bring happiness. " he stated with a painted tone.

[Orion Urswick]

Orion grinned to himself, looking up at the ceiling. "I am, am I? I like that. I'd much rather be a star than a human sometimes. Stars don't have to worry about heartache and pain and loneliness. They just... Are." It was probably a silly thing to say, but it was true for him, nonetheless. "I'm sorry, Lei, but I've never really studied how dreams work, at least not seriously. It's a sort of abstract art, I think; everyone interprets things differently." He sighed, looking over at Lei. "I do know that bad dreams are a sign of turmoil in someone's life, though. But I'm sure you probably already knew that."

Lei may have said strange things to Orion, but he had lived a pretty long life so far, and it definitely wasn't a first, considering he had spent the last eight years teaching at Hammel. Even in a regular school, students did weird things - Hammel was that intensified by about a thousand. Still, Orion shot the student an understanding smile, hoping to ease his mind at least a little. And he really did love the nickname.

He waved his hand again at the apology. "It's absolutely fine, Lei. It comes with the job." It hadn't been the first time he had seen a student injured, of course, but it had definitely been one of his most severe experiences in that sense. When Lei continued speaking, though, the teacher went quiet, feeling like he had been granted to look into a locked box than only the few with the right key were ever allowed to look into. Lei had already told him how hard it was for him to trust people - did he really trust Orion that much? "Of course," he replied, completely understanding that Lei would want to keep some parts to himself. And then he listened, to the best of his ability.

It started off fine, but soon turned dark when he mentioned he had killed someone he loved. "Oh, Lei..." Orion murmured quietly enough so he didn't interrupt the story. He always felt horrible for students that accidentally hurt people they loved when their abilities manifested - they had no control over it. And then Lei explained his ability, and Orion let out an "oooh" of understanding. "Hemokinesis," he nodded, having heard of it before. He was very, very glad he hadn't had that as an ability - it sounded like it could far too easily hurt someone, as Lei was saying.

He went quiet as Lei went into further detail of what happened that day. It was painful for him to listen about it, and he hadn't even been there. He had heard the scream, of course, but by then everything had already happened. "That explains it all," he murmured. He had lived through the tragedy of losing someone he loved, and it was true that the pain was unbearable for a long time; he knew the teenage heart was much more fragile, too.

He nodded, understanding now why Lei hadn't wanted him to touch him. "I'm very sorry about all of that," Orion finally replied quietly. "It's horrible when a student is given an ability that is that difficult to control - it just isn't fair." He looked down over at Lei, wanting to reach out to give him a comforting hand but knowing now that it would be far from comforting. "Thank you for telling me. And you can be assured that I won't tell anyone. That, I promise you."

[Leiken Chu]

Making a small sound Lei would lightly nod his head, "It would be much more peaceful to be a star. My heart would not ache like it does right now. I would just...be. " He stated sliding his hand over his own chest. As if holding it there would somehow ease the pain he felt inside there. "Perhaps. Maybe i'll find out myself one day what these dreams have meant." Though he looked toward Orion then, "I did, but I don't understand why people have started appearing in them. " he explained.

Lei's face was still reddened with his embarrassed expression, his eyes holding that horrified gaze for a moment longer, though it softened behind the words the other man spoke. "Does it? I am glad that you understand." he mentioned lightly. Though it was true at that point, Leiken did trust Orion very deeply, the man had shown him that he could trust him. At least Leiken hoped so given the circumstances. Lei believed that since Orion had taken such an effort to stay with him all night long that he deserved to know some truths. That he deserved to be trusted.

Lei made a pained expression, though he'd continued his story, when Orion spoke h is name in such a sympathetic manner. Lei felt so vulnerable. He almost expected the man to grow fearful or disgusted with his presence there. That his friendship with the teacher would be ruined because of how monstrous he truly was, but he could not imagine the stars in the sky without someone like the stargazer to talk about them with. Their friendship was very important to him.

"It's alright. It's not your fault that. None of it happened because of you so there's no need to apologize about it. " he murmured softly. He never understood that. Why people said they were sorry when they wanted to give sympathy for tragedy, but heknew it was something that had been dug into the culture's minds for one reason or another. "It isn't. I would have much rather had some other ability. Like flying, so that i could be closer to the stars, or maybe no ability at all." he murmrued. "Though... If I did not have an ability then I would not have met any of you and I am glad that I did for that at least." He stated with a very faint smile.

Lei trusted in Orion's words as he looked to him. Giving a weak smile to the man, "I trust those words and that promise, stargazer." he stated. Looking down a little to the floor as his hands raised to rub at his face. Hiding the somewhat awkward expression that was upon his features as he spoke his next set of words, "My body is to weak right now, my ability is exhausted, i can feel it trying to take control, but it is like it can't lift a hand from the floor. " he mentioned before continuing.

"D-do you think...I could... " he trailed off. Looking the other way due to the fact he couldn't really believe he was asking the man this himself, but his heart ached so badly. "Have a hug?" he questioned in a mumbled tone that showed how embarrassed he was for even asking something so awkward.

[Orion Urswick]

Orion really wished he could solve all of the boy's troubles and answer his questions, but he was just a simple man with a slightly-less-simple mind. He had seen into the depths of space and knew mysteries that the average made didn't, but that didn't make him any more wise than anyone else. At least, he didn't think so. He was just Orion, wanderer of the earth with no real place to call home anymore. His home was in the sky above. "Perhaps the people are supposed to symbolize more simple objects," he suggested, shrugging. "Or perhaps they're trying to tell you to let go of your past so they can be free," he added in a quieter voice. It was never good to dwell on the past. He more than anyone knew that, but he still did it far too much.

He smiled faintly, still amazed that Lei was willing to trust him after Orion had learned that he obviously had difficulty in doing so with people. It was very flattering. He hoped the glance he gave the student would make him realize that; it made him feel more warm and less lonely than he had in a long while. Someone appreciated him enough to trust him. What a thought.

Of course he didn't judge the boy for something he had no control over. He knew that a person didn't choose their abilities. He had no reason to be disgusted with something that Lei didn't mean to do. And besides, he had already grown to like him quite a lot - it would take a lot to make that go away.

But at least Lei was starting to see a few positives to his plight. He smiled sympathetically. "Sometimes I wish I had some other ability too," he admitted. "Well, I used to, at least. Now I know that I have them for a reason." Because if he didn't hear the voices, he wouldn't hear Sophie, and he would have withered away long ago. "I'm glad to have met you too, Lei," he told the student, his smile turning more genuine. "It's good that you're here at Hammel. It's the best place for you to be."

He listened quietly as the boy continued speaking, letting his forearms rest on his knees as he nodded understandingly. "Pretty much every meta I've ever talked to experiences a loss of their abilities when tired or physically weak," he assured him.

His request was unexpected, but far from unwelcome. Orion grinned broadly. "Of course you can, lad," he replied, taking no time in giving the boy a big (but gentle) bear hug. He wasn't worried about Lei's abilities attacking him - if the student said they weren't active, then Orion believed him. "Everything's going to be okay," he murmured. "Just you wait and see."

[Leiken Chu]

Lei made a small pained sound at the thought of letting go of his past, "How can I do that when i've done so many terrible things? How can i just let them go and act as though they never happened, that i shouldn't feel regret for them, how can i ignore what i've done for the same of my future? Isn't that selfish of me? I cannot undo those things that I have done." he stated sadly.

Lei's cheeks held a little color to them as his hands raised to rub at his face, his eyes mostly, trying to keep away the moisture that swelled in them. He didn't really realize he'd flattered the other man, nor would he have minded the thought, Orion was a trusted part of his life now. He was a dear friend, someone that Lei believed he could trust with those secrets, someone who had been there for him when he was on the edge of death.

"Hear them for a reason? What reason ? " he questioned. Hoping that one day he could see the deeper reason within his own. Why he'd developed powers in the first place, rather than having been normal, or at least what used to be normal to him. Then again, he had always been far from normal, even before his abilities manifested; at least in his own eyes. "Really?" he questioned though he could not help but to worry the man was just saying so for his sake, but he trusted him. That included his words. "Yes. The place I was before held too many terrible memories." he noted.

"I suppose that explains it then. It always happens. Though they always attack me or someone else before they're silenced. I wonder sometimes if it's my subconscious feeling threatened and defensive that causes it to act out. I don't really know. " he murmured lightly through his sniffles.

Tears managed past his lids as he tried to choke down the pain he felt within. Though as he was granted that hug he so desperately needed he would give a small whimper of a noise. Wrapping his arms around the teacher's torso. Hugging onto him though carefully. he was still afraid his abilities would act out even despite his own words. "I hope so. I'm so scared. I'm so scared of myself. I don't think I could stand on my own feet ever again if someone else died because of me." he choked out.

[Orion Urswick]

Orion sighed heavily, leaning his head against the wall. "Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself, or else you'll just drive yourself mad," he said quietly. "We learn from what we've done in the past, and it's good to do so, but sometimes there are things so tragic that you can't live your life unless you let them go and try to move on. Never forget what you did, but don't let them run your life." He looked over and smiled gently. "It's not selfish. It's pointless to dwell on the things you cannot change. Because what's done is done, and there's no going back, no matter how much you wish you could."

Orion pursed his lips and, after a moment, closed his eyes and tilted his head to the side. Sophie? Are you here? he wondered. Certainly she had come into this room at some point in her days here. As he focused, he heard a faint, familiar laugh in his head, and a few quiet, whispered words in that beautiful voice of hers. His face instantly grew calm, and a loving smile crossed his face as he opened his eyes again. "The reason is because I can still here her," he murmured. "Sophie. My wife. She's everywhere here, because she used to teach here before I did. It's why I started working here." His fingers traced along the floor, as though he could make her rise from it just by thinking about her hard enough.

"Really," he repeated with a nod of his head. "I've never had a student willing to listen to me ramble on about voices and stars before. We're quite alike, you and I. You remind me of myself when I was your age." Their abilities were much different, but they had similar personality quirks. "Then it's good you left," he replied softly. Orion always had to avoid places with painful memories, because he had to relive them whenever he was there, quite literally.

"You just haven't had your abilities long enough yet to fully understand them," Orion reassured him. "They feel like they control you more than you control them, and it scares you into using them without meaning to." That was how he saw it, at least. "The control will come with time. I'm just very, very sorry that you have to go through all of this pain before that happens."

The tears running down Lei's face shot sadness through Orion's heart, and he patted his back soothingly as he hugged him, unafraid for his own safety as long as he could bring some small comfort to the student. "We won't let that happen," Orion reassured him. No one was going to die if he could help it. "You're going to get through this, and I will be there with you whenever you need the extra support. I promise you."

[Leiken Chu]

Lei made a small sound, thinking deeply on the words the other man spoke to him, they were hard to swallow in all honesty. Forgive himself? How could he forgive himself. How could he let the memory of the person he'd killed fall to the back burners of his mind. 'pointless.' he thought as the other man spoke those words. Lei realized then that Orion was right. What was it going to solve dwelling on things he could not change? He'd spent years trying to repent for what he'd done. Years punishing himself in the worst ways. And what did he have to show for it?

His guilt was not less than it had been back then. He had no friends gained due to his self punishment. He had nothing to show for all the things he'd done trying to make up for what he did back then. Nor did he have anything to show more than pain for regretting what he'd put vincent and his family through. His heart ached, but what was the point? It was pointless to feel that. To feel anything at all when nothing could change what had happened. Or what would happen. He wondered if there was even a point to his existence anymore.

Lei turned his attention to Orion as he spoke of his wife. "You can hear her still? " he made a small sympathetic expression. "I see him in my dreams too much. Sometimes... I think i should just accept it.. and enjoy that I see him there, but most of the time i can't. I fear what i did to him so alot of the time i am running from him. " he stated sadly. Giving a small, dry, laugh. "I wish that I could still hear his voice. I wonder what he'd say to a monster like me." he murmured.

"Do I really?" he questioned looking to the man. If that were true, maybe there was hope, hope for a life that was bareable. Just like Orion lived his own. Or at least that is how Lei saw it. he nodded softly, "It is. After that day anytime i stepped into that building all i could see was a shadow of memory that was built with him. When I would walk down the hall i would feel his arms around me and see him as if he were still there." he stated as tears sprung to his eyes. "Sometimes, even, when I lay in bed far from there--here--I can hear the sound of his voice. Singing me to sleep within my memories. You would think it would make me sleep easier, but it doesn't. His memories are strong, but i sometimes wish i could talk to him. Like the way those people with the crystal balls that let the dead possess them to speak. I wish i knew what he would say." lei stated sadly.

"It's true...but i'm afraid that i'll never get hold of them. What will happen then?" he stated with a small whimpered out noise. "It. it's okay.. pain just helps us know we're living...right?" he stated as he burried himself against Orion's chest. "You promise?" he questioned as he hid there in the man's arms. Tears sliding down his cheeks. Exposing his pain both physically and emotionally. "I am thankful for a friend like you. Especially after what happened with Vinny. I don't know why i was so stupid." he stated with a sharply inhaled hiccup of a breath.

[Orion Urswick]

Orion was quiet as Lei seemed to mull over his words, and he hoped that the student knew that he was only trying to give him comforting advice. He knew only too well the harms of having regrets and wishing to go back into the past, and he hoped he could help pull Lei through this hard time so that he could look forward to what he was sure was a brighter future. If he had known Lei was pondering the importance of his own existence, though, he would have felt bad about his choice of words. Of course his existence mattered. It had already made a profound impact on Orion's.

He smiled faintly at the question. "I can. I avoided Hammel for a while because I knew she would be here, but I realized eventually that I needed to hear her voice to survive. It's an amazing thing." Even though he couldn't touch her or see her, he would never tire of searching the school for new voices, new words that his late wife would speak to him. Orion gave Lei a sympathetic look. "At least he still comes to you, I suppose. But if it's only to make you hurt, then that's just another sign that you need to try to forgive yourself for what you did." He sighed. "It's obvious you regret deeply what you did, Lei. You can't blame yourself for what you couldn't control, as much as I know it agonizes you." Orion looked up, fingers fidgeting. "I wish you could too. Maybe he would like to tell you that he doesn't blame you for what you did, either."

"Yes, you do," he answered, smiling again. "When I was your age, I went to the meta school in Switzerland, since I grew up in the United Kingdom. Anyway, when my ability manifested, I honestly thought I was going crazy. It happened just after my grandfather passed away, so when the recruiters tried to tell me that I was gifted to hear the voices, I thought they were lying. I thought they were going to take me to some mental ward." He laughed quietly. "It took me a long time to accept my ability and use it as it was meant to be used. So even though you don't know why you have yours yet, I just know you will eventually." He hadn't really meant to share that much of his past, but it had just felt appropriate to mention.

Orion listened quietly as Lei spoke; the student was sharing such intimate feelings with him, and he felt an overwhelming sadness for the boy that had lost someone so dear to him. The teacher wasn't quite sure what to say. "Sometimes no matter how far you are from a place, the memories of it will never leave you anyway," he agreed quietly. Like when he grandfather had died, and Orion had been forced to move to Switzerland, he carried the memories of his last words with him all his life. "You won't ever lose those memories. But it does not do well to dwell on them if they cause you that much grief. You should make new memories, with new people, if you feel like you are capable." He paused. "Have you made friends since you arrived at Hammel?" he asked curiously. If not, maybe Orion could help him find some. He knew some very sweet, understanding kids.

"It won't," Orion stated firmly. "In my eight years of teaching, I have never once seen a student who has not gotten control over their abilities. Some take longer than others, and some students have to stay at Hammel longer than expected, but they all push through eventually." He held Lei for another moment before pulling away, looking him in the eyes. "Promise." He smiled gently. "Vincent will be fine, and so will you. Don't you worry."

[Leiken Chu]

"Is it?" he murmured. Wondering still what it would be like if he could hear Ay's voice every day again. The thought alone made his eyes water. "I don't know. " he stated iwth a deep regret. "He wanted me to do it.He pushed me to do it, i remember everything about it now, but i regret that I did not refuse harder. That i did not just leave so that I wouldn't do it." he choked on his tears. His hands gripping over his own arms as he doubled over slightly. choking out a pained sound through tears, "Instead i gave him what he wanted, i couldn't control my own power, it reacted just like he hoped. He knew I was the only one who could do it for him. He htought if I did it for him, he wouldn't be kept from the afterlife, because it wouldn't have been his own hand." he choked out as he shook his head a bit. A strange sensation of anger swelled within him at his own memory. "Why did he make me do such a horrible thing!? Why couldn't he just be happy with what he had!? He already cheated on me wasn't it enough for him to have whatever he wanted from whoever he wanted?! " he exclaimed. his hands gripping at his own hair.

Though he drew silent after a few moments. The anger subsiding into his own self-guilt once again. "If i had just been stronger. I could have brought myself to leave. Then... then maybe." he choked out. Sniffing a bit, "I loved him so much." he stated aloud. "how could i have done something like that to someone i loved." he stated lowring one hand from his hair to grip at his chest.

"Is.. is that why you have such a neat accent?" he questioned as he rubbed at his eyes with his arm. "In the past people probably would have, before they became aware of meta-humans, but I am glad they did not do that to you. I am glad to have met you. " he told the other man despite his own emotional state. "I hope so. I don't want to be a monster anymore, Stargazer. I just want to be happy for once." he choked out.

"I don't have to be powerful or rich or anything. I just want to be happy and for others to be safe when they are around me." he choked out through his tears again. "Do you think.. that new memories can over power the old? I just wish that i could forget, forever, sometimes. And that makes me sad too. " he admitted. nodding slightly. "I .. i have.. I met a really nice guy named cam h..he's really alot of fun to be around... and juney...she's so sweeet. i'm so afraid of hurting her, she's such a beautiful person, inside and out. I want to put her in a bottle with all of her favorite things and keep her safe from the world, but that ..that would be selfish." he admitted.

"What if..what if i'm the first that never does?" he questioned in a fearful tone. Though he stared to those eyes that met with his own, which he was sure were red by now, "Thank you. I will believe that, because you say it. I just hope that it is true." he stated as he curled himself tighter against the other man. At least for a few minutes longer he wanted to feel that comforting embrace. "I wish that I didn't have to go back to the dorms." he croaked out. "I wish my parents cared enough to move here so that I could have a real home to curl up in and feel safe in."