Advent of the Vale (Valentia)

[Alyssa Ramius]

Alyssa could not remember the point where she broke into a run. Somewhere in the courtyard maybe, she recalled feeling the warm wind and the sunlight, but not in any other details. No other thoughts crossed into her mind, not since the library.

Hammel's library had been the longtime bastion of solitude for her where she could easily choose any book on the shelves and lose herself in worlds apart from hers. It was nice not to feel worried or nervous, to just enjoy one’s own imagination between classes. While it did little to make the sting of certain revelations disappear or sooth the ache of missing a friend or two, it at least provided the smallest distraction.

“Hey, have you heard?” A whisper from the table next to hers, a pair of girls speaking in hushed tones. Alyssa’s eyes flicked away from her book, naturally. It was hard not to take notice of softened voices where silence was stronger force.
“No, what?”
“I heard that—“

Was it true? Alyssa had to be sure! There had been nothing, not a word in between then and now, nothing to indicate everything was all right. It had been weeks, a couple weeks in reality but it felt even longer given everything that had happened in between. With every step, her heart beat so hard against her chest that her hand clutched at the pink cardigan to calm it. Why? Why would she be nervous now? This had been more than familiar territory by now.

No…she had a feeling or two why it lurked there with her. Alyssa pushed those thoughts away, feeling another swell in her chest upon seeing the door was open. She took a breath and peered into the office.

[Valentia de la Torres]

It had been a long mission. Longer than she previous expected, anyway. It was impossible to completely tear herself away from the military and it's requirements, so when something came up that needed the immediate attention of the Ergokinetic, she had no choice but to up and leave. At least she left notice to her superiors, and to those who mattered.

But a lack of contact within those weeks was mandatory. After all, she would hardly be good at her job if people knew where she was while she was doing what she was doing.

See, it was all hush-hush.

She'd returned earlier that day, and after reinstating her place and position, she almost immediately went to her office. It'd been closed up for weeks, so the window was open and the door ajar, allowing the breeze to wash through and cleanse the unused space. Turning in her chair, Valentia sought her phone and answered a quick call.

"No, there is no need." She reassured the other line, right around the time Alyssa saw it fit to peer through the door. Valentia's back was to her, her eye glancing out the window with the direction of the turning chair. "Because you are... Something of an unsettling presence." She added, then a pause and a quick chuckle. "Not a scratch. You worry far too much, my friend."

And then she laughed again; "I'm hanging up now." Pause. "Because my quota on your comments is sufficiently full." She added, an amused touch to her tone. She turned in the chair then, glancing towards the door and the company it shielded. "I have to go. Yes, I'll visit. And no, you can't throw them away." Valentia pulled the phone away and off with a small press of a button. She placed it to the desk, turning away and offering the student something of a smile. At least, as much of a smile as she was willing to muster.

"I told you, didn't I." She stated calmly, "That I would be fine. And I am."

[Alyssa Ramius]

The blonde girl stood at the threshold, watching the telephone call took place. She remained silent, it was both polite and she knew better. But she listened. It was reality and not one of the strange worlds that bled into reality sometimes...at least she hoped it wasn't! The girl realized she was lurking and actually made the effort to cross the threshold into the office. Again, familiar territory, she had been here more than enough times to feel comfortable.

The girl's hands laced and unlaced in the wait. A small spike of ...well, she didn't know what to call it other than the happy nerves, sparked when Valentia glanced her way and finished her conversation.

Alyssa's eyes dipped to the floor for a moment, recalling the day she left. Yes, she did say she would be fine. Of course she would be all right, Alyssa replied, there never had been any question.

But still.
A few weeks.

The girl stepped forward once more, not seeming to have any idea what to do with herself for a moment. What in the world was with her today?!

"I know." Softly spoken after gaining her bearings. Hands pressed onto the desk and a slight lean forward. The shell of shyness melted away, one of the few times, places where it actually could retreat for a moment.

"But I still worried Vel! I mean I didn't hear from you! I know what you said, you explained it before, you can't discuss or call or write when you do these things, these missions but I still...like, how would I know if you were okay or not? So...I just..."

Alyssa's eyes widened for a moment, it may have occurred to her how shrill her tone had become, how rapid words fell from her lips! How unbecoming of her and in front of her trainer? The girl quietly sunk into the nearby chair and sighed, really not minding the idea to crawl into a hole to hide for the afternoon.

"I got worried, I shouldn't have." She said, not wanting to look up at all. "I really, really am glad you're back, Vel."

[Valentia de la Torres]

Valentia let her wander about the space, finding a place most comfortable for whatever it was she wanted to say. It was a lot easier than directing her to the adjacent chair. She'd likely find it in her own time, anyway. So Valentia leaned back in her chair slightly, folding her arms and tilting her head slightly to one side in her curiosity.

She opened her mouth to offer a rebuttal - to say that there were no contact orders in place for a reason. But she covered that point before she got the chance.

Valentia exhaled a barely audible laugh when she paused. It was strange, to be worried for. She expected it from her friends. Not from her students.

"You know it isn't your responsibility to shoulder worry for me. Worry for the things you can change. Otherwise the feeling is wasted." She replied finally, turning slightly in the chair to face her with a little more intention. "Besides, from what I gather, you have more important things to worry about. Such as yourself."

[Alyssa Ramius]

"You know I'm not good at not worrying, I can't help that." Alyssa said softly after regaining some sense of calm. After all, Vel was physically present. Absence of ties, those were things she may not be able to change...but they still lingered, held tight in her palm. The thought of releasing those strings made her eyes sting.

The small laugh air of a laugh Vel exhaled though reddens her cheeks and never had Alyssa felt more thankful to have hung her head in a way her hair curtained her face. Honestly, why couldn't she keep herself together for this? The overreaction of her own emotions betrayed her, no matter where they had surfaced from.

Wasted...

But relax, there was no reason to - wait. That had drawn the girl's attention to lift her head, the last twinges of red on her cheeks fading. Did she know? Already?! The girl's eyes darted, she appeared as if she could just take off at a moment's notice.

But she doesn't. She wouldn't, no matter how much she wanted to simply get up and leave the discussion. Lying about it was an even worse option as Vel would see right though it. Alyssa closed her eyes for a moment.

"...D-do we have to discuss that right now?" She asked, her voice softening.

She knew better. There was a reason why that feeling loomed over her shoulder earlier.

[Valentia de la Torres]

Valentia raised her chin slightly with a look, studying the features of the girl across from her for the light of recognition. The colour from her face seemed to drain. Had she looked, she would have been given an unreadable expression from her trainer's dark eyes. But she seemed to be searching for the exit.

So she leant back in the chair, crossing one leg over the other. It was something of a nonchalant stance. It seemed strangely suitable given the turn of topic. "You tell me." She stated, raising her eyebrows with a questioning glance.

[Alyssa Ramius]

Alyssa had looked. Nothing on Vel's person gave any hint of her thoughts or feelings on the matter: unreadable eyes, muted expression, not even her words or posture reflected her thoughts: "You tell me."

All things Alyssa wished she could do right about now, anything to just not talk about it. Unfortunately for her, she had never been adept at hiding what she was feeling. Pale cheeks reddened and her gaze dips once again, finding interest in the floor Her hands visibly balled into fists on her lap.

What could she possibly say?
How could she even tell her?

It had still been a bit of a shock when she was notified. Maybe the shock was still there festering, pushed down as far as possible so she didn't have to think about it.

"I...yeah." Not a good start, she shook her head. "I am not graduating now. I- I mean I thought I was doing well but." A small pause. "I'm still 'unstable'...and that it wasn't time for me to graduate until I have a better grasp of my abilities than I do now. So...I'm still here."

That was obvious, she was sitting here before her! That was the short of the situation at least, to the point as she possibly could. Nothing more to add, Alyssa lifted her head to face her trainer to gauge her reaction. Was she angry?

[Valentia de la Torres]

Valentia left the decision to her with a purpose. It was something of a test. Theoretically, she could have said no; that they didn't need to talk about it. Vel knew she'd likely beaten herself up enough about the fact already. But the colour in her student's cheeks always seemed to give her away. It was an unresolved issue, and Valentia had to wonder if it's resolution would come from this conversation.

Unstable. The word seemed to physically hit her as her dark eyes widened slightly. Of course, she knew that already. She submitted the reports, because how else would they know that?

"Calm down." Valentia started finally. It was obvious from the way she was stammering that she wasn't sure how to express what she wanted to say. She waited a few moments, allowing the air to clear and with that, she hoped some of her discomfort would disappear. "Are you upset that you did not graduate?"

[Alyssa Ramius]

Calm down.
Calm down.
Come away from the edge. In this instance, stress was the enemy; if she lingered too long in worry, it would be a matter of time her body reacted by shutting off her senses one by one. That, noted to Alyssa the day she learned she was not to graduate, was part of the instability she now had to wrestle with. Not to mention the unpleasant parts conjured when already anxious. The images that form when the body is deprived is not always mystical and life-affirming when opposing thoughts already exists in the mind.

Alyssa closed her eyes upon Vel's instruction.
Calm down.
Breathe.
Little by little, the worry began to melt. There was a small amount of noise outside Vel's office, a conversation she paid little attention to. The murmurs would pass and then a comforting silence befalls the office. This silence...was kind to her, always have been when she sought guidance from her trainer. Alyssa did manage to calm down, far better achieved on her own than forcing to use her own ability. Misted ochre eyes met her trainer's gaze.

"I was upset." Alyssa answered honestly, lacing her fingers on her lap. "My grades are consistent, I try hard to practice. Considering how it used to be, I do feel like I'm better than I once was." The girl bit her lip a moment. "I mean, there has been a few instances where my powers were a bit...wonky? But getting that letter...knowing I won't be graduating when I was meant to, not graduating with Noah or my friends..."

Her eyes clenched shut. She had to be exceptional, that had been the entirety of her academic life. Effort wasn't effort unless one had something to show for it. Finding out she was a meta, Alyssa found she had two worlds to prove of her worth to, the plane of the meta-human and the the human world who will scrutinize her every effort.

"I feel like a complete failure." She admitted, her eyes shifting away from Valentia. "On a lot of levels."

[Valentia de la Torres]

Valentia was patient. She waited for Alyssa to close her eyes and take instructed deep breathes, because she knew how important it was. This was a sensitive topic of conversation, and the obstruction of one or two of their of their senses would make it impossible. Not to mention it was an incredibly uncomfortable feeling that was losing control of a sense or two. Not in her office, thanks very much.

Her ability to calm herself was a stark cry from the first time they'd met and worked together. The trainer walked away from the altercation with the inability to hear for an hour.

She thought for a moment to choose her words carefully. Alyssa's concerns were clear given the information she'd just passed on. Her grades were consistent. That wasn't the issue. If the mark of the ability wasn't called into play during the selection for graduates, she would be gone by now.

"I would not mark you as a failure." Valentia said finally. "I believe the difference is in your perseverance. Failures quit." She'd heard about plenty of people give up for some time and simply ride out the years in the safety of the grounds. Odarennyĭ was different. People were eager to leave either to get away, or to start their stints in the military. "Your ability is..." She paused; how to accurately describe it? "Unique."

She leaned forward in her seat, "In its current state, it is dangerous. The simple fact that you still require coaxing to calm yourself is proof of that. Some abilities require more time. More practice. Some require more patience than people will allow." It was the unfortunate truth. Some people had it easier, based on the ability given to them. "The connection simply isn't there yet. I cannot allow you to leave until you understand that."

[Alyssa Ramius]

Alyssa’s gaze return to her trainer as she spoke. She…wouldn’t mark her as a failure? A small trickle of relief surfaced on her face, that just knowing she had not thoroughly disappointed her trainer eased a small part of her worry. At one time, she would have been twice as nervous, certain that Vel would have twisted the knife about her failure, or at least that how the girl felt.
No, Valentia was not one to dole out such words unless they reflected the truth. There will always be people that will have it easier than others. Unfortunately, her ability was different and temperamental – it was not going to be easy at all. Alyssa’s shoulders hunched end of Vel’s words became clear: she would not be able to leave until she could handle herself and her powers.

That’s just how it is.

Did the girl feel better about the situation? Maybe a little, she straightened her posture and clasped her hands on her lap. There was now a perspective in play that she had not considered. It will take practice, a lot of practice. She bit her lip once before speaking.

“To be honest, the thought to quit crossed my mind once, when I found out.”

A flick of her gaze up, hoping Valentia would not be disappointed by the admittance. It was the truth after all, the truth of a girl who felt crushed by disappointment in herself. She resumed quickly:

“But…that would be much more shameful than persevering. I don’t want to give up, Vel.”

She paused, noting how tight her chest felt, that it felt like static inside of her chest. A small breath to calm and push the sensation down so she could finish.

"So, you said you won't allow me to leave until I'm absolutely ready. Does this mean...you'll continue to guide me? Even if I'm a pain and exhausting to deal with all the time?"

[Valentia de la Torres]

It surprised Valentia that the thought to quit had crossed the student's mind. The emotion echoed in her eyes briefly. However, she appreciated Alyssa's honesty nonetheless. She wasn't disappointed in the admittance. She couldn't see the point in harbouring that kind of emotion, not when the naturally inward girl was being so forward with the truth.

"You're not a pain." Valentia repeated, though the words didn't fit right off her tongue. A pain. Why would someone be called such a thing? "What would be the point in leaving when you are not ready? I'd have failed you if I sent you off with the inability to control your ability."

She paused at that, taking the time to wrap her mind around the words given to her. The questions asked of her; she needed to determine the best way to handle the concept of Alyssa being shipped off to another trainer. "And beyond that, what would be the point in sending you off to another trainer? Unless you request it, it won't happen." She added, looking at her curiously. Would she request such a thing?

[Alyssa Ramius]

You’re not a pain.

If it had been anyone else saying these words, Alyssa would have stammered, finding a hard time accepting such words as the truth. But this was different somehow, there was no telling why or how it was different enough that it was taken to heart. A relieved smile crosses her face, one that she tried to contain by a quick bow of her head.

"Thank you..." Those words slipped though, soft and genuinely thankful. Knowing that she had some difficulty ahead, she could not even fathom the option to simply quit and coast. Failing both herself and Vel was not an option.

Alyssa soaked in the information before shaking her head. “I have no desire to request another trainer.” Suppose it was good to know choice was still involved, though she would not be utilizing the information given. The girl crosses her arms atop Vel’s desk, creating a momentary resting spot for her head. To consistently be nervous and in constant thought was draining. Her eyes would flick her trainer’s way, her lips parted a moment to say something, maybe continuing her thought when the words faltered in her throat. No, she felt no need to shill the fact this woman had been able to drag her out of her shell more than she felt comfortable to – why change that now?

“You…don’t have to leave again anytime soon, right?”

[Valentia de la Torres]

Valentia couldn't help but smile at that. At the core, there was something important about having students who wanted her as trainer. She knew her methods differed from others, and she knew she was intimidating - her background made it so - so it was almost a relief to not be discarded in such a way.

There was a moment, made evident by her short movements that told the trainer she wanted to say something, but that she wasn't sure. Vel had to wonder what she wasn't sure of, what to say? Or whether she could say it?

But the actual question surprised her, and she instantly understood the reservation behind it. She took a small moment to breathe, a small breath in and a sigh upon her exhale. She leaned forward, resting her elbows against the desk. "I do not." Valentia replied simply, wondering briefly if she should add more to it than that. Alyssa knew as much as most students could, that a majority of her time was split on a whim. But for now, it wasn't so.

"Was there anything else? I thought you had something on your mind." She started. Or maybe that had been it.

[Alyssa Ramius]

The girl closed her eyes a moment at the answer. Maybe not now, not for the foreseeable while, but Alyssa knew. She had always harbored the understanding that her trainer would have to depart. Reasons unknown and returns were a surprise, such as this one had been.

Yet while she knew...she could not explain it other than the worry. It was the kind that sticks to the back of the mind, an entity that whispers, asking for someone's return. It always happened to her when someone close departs. She was already beginning to feel pangs of that worry for Noah, despite knowing he would be fine, that she could always find him at least. It was different when it came to Vel by that same entity swapping the word when with if.

Absence was lonely and no matter what form it takes, it still hurts.

Vel's question drew her from the brief calm, pressing her chin atop her arms. Something else? Probably. But Alyssa wasn't quite sure how to actually form it into words. These were times she wished she could have been born telekinetic or something of the sort - better in thoughts than in words.

The girl suddenly springs up in distress. Vel did just return, maybe she wanted to unwind by herself? How rude of her not to consider that!

"Oh, am I keeping you? I'm sorry!"