This Side Of Me(Jack)

[Jack McCarthy]

“Hey man! Give me a break it was an intense time, it was life and death hanging in the wind, man’s life was hanging in the balance, I was going on pure instinct, it wasn’t a time for thinking it was a time for doing and that’s what I did;…I did. That’s what I do! I’m a man of action Ortiz!

Jack sincerely doubted that she would be stunned and awed by the athletic abilities oh Ortiz, and certainly Jack wouldn’t bow before him, Jack was a proud man and the idea of bowing was simply laughable, if anything Jack should have Ortiz bow before him due to his insane rock throwing skills. Jack winched in relief as Oriel finally choose to get the hell off him, Jack got back up to his feet coughing and spluttering and holding his back in clear pain.

“Oh blah blah blah…If you don’t mind I think I’ll skip the whole description about how you spear yourself in makeup like a 2-doller prostitute and lure women into your creepy basement so you can prance around in your women suit….what the fuck were you doing up there anyway?...Or do I want to know where you were going such great lengths to make hanging rope?

[Jack McCarthy]

[Deleted]

"Oh~~ You're absolutely right! How could I have been so blind? I have seen the light, my dearest savior and lord almighty! Might I prostate myself at the feet thine holy glory for thine forgiveness!" Of course, Oriel was waving and jazz-hand-ing his arms around like a sissy. "However may I repay you my gracious Lord and Master?" That last line had slipped into a southern accent for some inexplicable reason.

As if Oriel would ever bow to Mr. Jack McCarthy seriously, but if it was entertaining enough, he might set aside his title of the Evil Dark Overlord for the sake of furthering his amusement with this character. Oriel slid his hands behind his neck and poofed up his hair like he was in his very own shampoo commercial. "Well, honey," the accent hadn't dropped, "At least I can get women to follow me into my basement." Snap, snap, snap.

Oriel's smile kind of widened when Jack finally asked the million-dollar question and he practically leapt over to him and draped his arm around Jack's shoulders. "Why, I'm glad you asked, my good condemned friend," he started, back in his normal voice. "Fortunate for you, I was not tying a noose in order to strangle you with, oh, no. I was tying up a very heart-felt gift for my lovely Princess, a gift which I plan of bestowing upon her later today." He gave Jack a wink. "If you stick around, you shall be struck with awe at the sight of my masterful genius!"

[Jack McCarthy]

Clearly no one had told Oriel the age-old saying; “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit imaginable”

Though in Jack’s expect opinion Oritz should have done all that, ten minutes ago when Ortiz first landed on Jack and potently broke his spine in two like a dirty twig. Jack just nodded along with him looking bored and making a “move it along” gesture with his hands. “Yeah, like I’m going to let you come anywhere my feet with your tongue…I have no clue where you’re been putting that”

Believe it or not, Jack was actually beginning to enjoy his time with Ortiz, sure, he was creepy and sure he might act like dick toward Jack for no obvious reason but he had some moxy. He had to admit he was growing on him. “Yeah if by follow you mean lure with treats and by women you mean farm animals…you sick fuck. I bet you spend your time hanging around kindergartens in your white van promising kids puppies and lollipops”

Oh, so he wasn’t trying to straight up kill Jack….just doing something else kind of creepy. I mean who the hell goes through these kind of lengths to give someone a gift. What was so wrong about just handing it to her? Instead of making a trap like see was some kind of bear.

“Ok, sure that sounds-“

Jack paused seeming going through some kind of internal dialogue before coming to some kind of conclusion

“Ok, you know what? I have to ask. What’s the deal with you two? You fucking or what? Because I have to be honest mate. I just can’t figure you two out, I mean, I don’t know where you’re from but back home when you get a drunk call from a girl at two in the morning, you laugh, hang-up and go to sleep. You know like a normal person? But you? Oh, you couldn’t do that could you? You run out of your dorm, you track us down and literally carrying her to her bed like we were in one of those shitty romantic books. I mean...Who does that?! So what’s the deal? You like her? Or do you just wait till she falls asleep and paw through her underwear? Because no offence or nothing, But you have panty sniffer written all over you.”

[Deleted]

"Wouldn't you like to know," Oriel said with a wink and sliding his tongue seductively over his teeth. Though he distinctly got the feeling that Jack wasn't into guys, that still didn't stop Oriel from making passes at him, if only in jest. While admittedly Jack might have been attractive and amusing as fuck, Oriel also wasn't about to sleep with him. His standards weren't that low.

Oriel sassily placed a hand on his hip and point his finger out like he was explaining some majestic truth. "Well, were else I'm I supposed to get my virgins? They certainly don't exist in post-pubescent society."

And the gift? If Jack had decided to hear Oriel out, then he most definitely would have been amazed at the craftsmanship that Oriel was putting into this glorious gift for his pretty pretty princess. But noooooooooo! Jack had to go and be all logical on him and ask him fucking questions! What the fuck? It wasn't any of his business what their relationship was!

Which, of course, was just Oriel's excuse for having no fucking clue either.

But that didn't mean that Oriel wasn't on top of Jack's stupid little logic rant either. "Ok, sugar-tits, one: anyone who just hangs up when a girl who's never been seriously drunk before is a fucking douce. Two! Lux can barley walk straight when she's sober, how the fuck did you expect her to be able to walk back to the dorms or even not fall on her dog-face and crack open her bitty skull along the way when she's drunk? Three! How the fuck was I supposed to know you weren't a fucking rapist in addition to being an idiot? She described you as a goddamn stalker! Four! I wasn't in the dorms, I was out and about like my merrily fucking self per the normal. Get your facts straight. Six, seven and eight: Our relationship ain't none of your fucking business."

Breath.

Though maybe it was a good thing that Jack asked, because it let Oriel think about it seriously himself for once…though he still had no clue other than, "Lux is…the most important. That's it." Oriel turned and headed back to the tree, starting to climb up it's base as soon as he reached it.

[Jack McCarthy]

Actually Jack thought looking at Ortiz wave his disgusting wet red tongue in his face, he would really….really not want to be privy to that information of the traveled of Oriels tongue thank you very much. See Jack rather enjoyed the activity of eating food and he could really do without vomiting all over himself when that mental image would naturally raise its oh so ugly head,

“I don’t know” Jack admitted shrugging his shoulders “ High schools, naively hanging at bars, demonic blood sacrifices, you know the places where normal people get virgins?”

and then just when it seems like they were having a nice friendly chat, helping build a positive relationship…

*Knock knock*

Who is it?

“Its Ortiz deranged mind!”

in a way that Almost caused Jack to suffer from a bad case of whiplash. Ortiz instantly went on the defensive and told him exactly what was up with his relationship with Lux’s which in all honestly…. After Ortiz fully explained his side of the story, Jack for a moment seemed to have been in turned into a statue as his mouth dropped a little and he squinted his eyes in a look that seemed to scream “What the F**K” Jack quickly placed his hand to his forehead as if he was getting a migraine just trying to figure it out.

“Oh Christ…I’m too sober for this shit, Right, so first off. One: Fuck you. Two. How was I meant to know she didn’t drink before? And that’s just a broad generalization, if a giant walking talking cuddly puppy did that, would he be a dick? Three. Okay, I’ll give you that first part. But you make it sound like she was frightened little bunny rabbit, she’s a big girl, she knows how to take care of herself, cut the cord already. Four. Well that’s just your fucked up paranoia playing up. Take your pills next time. Five. That’s the sort of thing that makes people think your crazy. Who the fuck walks around the school grounds at 2 in the morning?! Go to bed you fucking oddball. And six seven and eight;…I didn’t hear a no about that smelling panties thing.

Jeez, all he wanted to know where the hell he stood between the two, and Oriel was acting like he just slapped him in the face. But then Ortiz hit him with the bomb shell

“She’s Most important” Jack replied tonelessly “Yeahhhh….I need a moment,” Suddenly Jack turned his back on Ortis, leaned over clutching his stomach in false pain and staring making over-dramatic heaving sounds like he was vomiting all over himself, before turning back to Jack unable to keep the laughter out of his voice.

“Ohh man….Are you whipped or what?! Please tell me that’s your power? Being melodramatic; Oh don’t stop there. Keep going, what other gems do you have for me? Is she “The wind beneath your wings?” Does Lux “Complete you” is she “Why cavemen chiseled on walls?”

Jack was unable to contain himself anymore as he became over come with laughter, before clasping Ortis on his back; “Ok, I’ll bite what’s this gift you got her? Oh let me guess are you going to go all van gogh on her ass and cut off your ear?”

[Deleted]

"I can do this all day, McCarthy," Oriel said, combing his hand through his thick hair like a movie star. "One: You wish. Two: You have a mouth and use words. Ask! Three: Under 18 equals still a kid. Deal with it. Four: Who's paranoid, Mr. Oh-my-god-he's-going-to-kill-me-in-my-sleep? Five: Not that it's any of your business, but I get insomnia, which completely fucks up my circadian rhythms. Besides! You have no room to talk considering you were up in the middle of the night two, you fucking hypocrite! Nine, ten, and eleven: That's still none of your business, and only an equally sick and perverted mind with those same sick fantasies would even suggest that sort of thing about someone else. I think you may have a problem with projecting your own opinions onto other people, you should get some help for that."

And again, Oriel would probably be glad to tell Jack what kind of relationship Oriel and Lux had if he had a inkling of a clue himself. All he really knew was that she was important, there were feelings of something, and that he couldn't leave her alone.

It was complicated.

But apparently, Oriel's oh so brilliant answer was enough for Jack to want to heave out his own guts and, of course, very un-creatively try to tease Oriel for his "big revelation." Unfortunately for Jack, Oriel was as shameless as they came, otherwise, he wouldn't be so damn obvious with his affections for his lovely Luxanna, hanging all over her and scaring away everybody and anybody who got near her.

So, while Jack got it out of his system, Oriel just stood there and watched with an amused smile on his face while Jack talked himself into looking even more like an idiot. "Depends, are you done?" he asked once Jack had decided to move on.

Didn't matter, "Just check it out, I actually just finished it before you so rudely interrupted me," he snarked at the other boy before he jumped up the trunk of the tree and climbed right up to the tall branch he had been at before like he was a monkey. Once at the top, he clambered out onto the branch and promptly untangled the end of the rope which had gotten snagged and dropped it to let it dangle it's full length. The rope was tied not into one, but two loops, neither of which adjusted. There was one extra knot just above the point where they met. It was actually pretty shoddy workmanship, but it would probably get the job done. "What do you think?" Oriel grinned down at Jack like a demonic cheshire cat like he was expecting the Nobel Prize or something.

[Jack McCarthy]

Goats establish a dominance hierarchy in flocks more often then not through head butting. The two goats will push against one and another until the other gives in, this could take hours or even days before one gives…That’s a more then fitting metaphor for this situation. There was no way in hell that Jack was going to let Ortiz win this argument, if there was one thing that Jack prided himself on, it was he debating skills. To date no one has ever forced Jack Mccarthy to concede an argument…sure there have been more then a lot of times where he was absolutely a hundred percent wrong but getting Jack to admit he’s wrong, is almost impossible.

Jack smirked a little as if he couldn’t believe Ortiz was trying to actually defend himself.

“Ok…one more time just for the hell of it; One. Go fuck yourself. Two. Yeah, because that’s not weird at all. “Hi I’m Jack nice to meet you, GIVE ME YOUR EXACT AGE! Three. So? Who gives a fuck if she’s 18 or not? I’m only turning 18 in a few months and you look 16-17. Would you describe, me or you as a kid? 4. Oh yeah you’re right. I'm the crazy one. Because It’s not like the first thing you’ve ever said to me was some kind of horribly graphic death threat…that was sarcasm in case you didn’t pick up on it. 5. Hey, that was by accident, at least I don’t make it some kind of bizarre ritual, you creep! and 6. ….I’m still waiting for you to answer…sick fuck.


Jack shrugged his shoulders with a small smile playing on his face “For the moment, you keep throwing me soft balls and I’ll keep hitting them”

Jack viewed Ortiz’s climbing with a sense of impatience, wouldn’t it be a lot more quicker just to tell him? At this point he was just showing off. “…What?” Jack said a tad confused as to what Ortiz was showing him. “…is that it? A rope? Why not just get her money or a watch or a dildo, you know something she could actually use. But hey! Good effort, I’m sure it’ll have pride of place on her freezer along with all your other gifts.”

[Deleted]

If there was one thing Oriel prided himself on, it was his tenacity to never lose. Whether or not this included incredible debating skills was beside the point. Oriel hated to lose, and if he couldn't win one way, there was always a detour. And Oriel definitely wasn't above cheating and cheap shots to get his way, even if he'd long since lost the argument proper. In this way…perhaps Oriel and Jack were far more alike than they were different.

That still didn't mean he had to agree with him on anything.

"Quibble me this, quibble me that, I'll do it a hundred times if you want! One: been there done that, Two: I never said I was an adult, though I probably have more life experience and have seen and been subjected to more harsh realities of life in which a mongoose like you lacks the pure imagination to even dream. Twenty-seven: Yeah, that offer's still open in case you ever wanna take it…that was a joke, in case you didn't pick up on it. Thirty-eight! Show me your goddamn medical degree, then you can speak intelligently about the sleeping habits of other people, and I might actually listen."

Though Oriel couldn't believe Jack was still hung up on that stupid panty-sniffer accusation. "And what if I said I did?" He didn't. "Or if I didn't?" He didn't. "Would you even believe me, you seem so hung up on making it true and convincing yourself of it, it doesn't matter what I say, you've already decided on the truth, you judgmental bag of dicks."

End of story!

Oriel crossed his arms. "…..Besides….they weren't her panties." It was her hair……from her hairbrush…….

Fuck, he was a sicko. Well, Oriel already knew that.


"Fuuuck, it ain't just a rope, and I'm sorrry you lack the intelligence to see how brilliant my craftsmanship is, but don't you think I would have don't any of that other shit if I had a little thing called, what was it again, money!?" Because Oriel was a broke as broke could be. All his stipend from the state went towards his meals and the occasional piece of clothing…and maybe a movie….and his Dom supplies. Oriel had to have his vices, of course. "Anyway, it is the gift of an experience," he asserted as he flipped down from the branch and monkey climbed his way down the rope back to the ground. "Now if you're quite done pretending you're unimpressed, I'll show you how this works." Oriel grabbed the end of the rope and held up the large loops like a couple of nooses. "Do you trust me?" he asked with a creepy grin.

[Jack McCarthy]

…they were going to be there for awhile aren’t they? Jack was going to spend the rest of entirety in a never-ending eternity lasting debate with Ortiz, with both of them evenly matched assholes neither willing to concede defeat and say die, a never ending debate that will only end once they’re both old men with long white beards that would make Gandalf jealous and they both suffer simultaneous strokes…and even then their ghosts starts to materialize and just continue the argument until the end of days, resulting in the two quickly become the stuff of urban legend to anyone visiting the campsite for generations to come.

“Hickory dickory dock why don’t you go ahead and suck my cock…that’s right I can rhyme to… 11. Go fuck a dead sheep Q….are you actually serious…No, you did not say that…”Oh boo-hoo mommy didn’t love, oh I’m so tortured and ego and shit. My dad was the sultan of shit, the count of cunt, the lord of langer lane but you don’t see me putting on make up and listening to my chemical romance…who by the way broke, so that’s another thing you can write poetry about. I mean… I’ve been in prison…admittedly for a day and the charges against me were complete bullshit but still it was scary and I had to lean my ass against the wall the entire time. Gold fish:…oh you were joking?! Yeah that got lost in translation right around the part you straight up told me in a dark ominous whisper that you were going to rip off my head and shit down my neck…so funny. Pie: I have a degree from the school of hard knocks I have you now…

and about that underwear thing….I’m hearing a lot of blah blah and a lot more blah more blah, but you know what I’m not hearing? The word “No”
When Jack heard Ortis admit he smelled Lux’s hair he raised his hand dramatically in the air. “Ah-ha! Got ya! Caught red handed! You’ve got your hand caught right in the…pervert jar.”

Jack looked mildly thoughtful at Oriel’s very kind offer, seemingly weighing up the possibility of Oriel murdering him

“I bet you tell all the kids to follow you up to your magically tree of penis shaped lollipops don’t you?”

[Deleted]

Yup, this was going to be the most epically long and epically useless of arguments ever recorded in history. It was going to continue even in their dreams, if either of them even bothered to stop long enough to sleep. It would continue until one of them passed out from lack of oxygen, and considering their level of stubbornness, they'd figure out a way to live without breathing and end up just being a couple of bickering zombies only able to grunt the most basic of moans at each other.

"Oy," he said, pointing a finger at Jack, "be careful what you say 'cause I don't turn down an offer. 27: Oh, do you have a spare one? Turkey: Oh, no, you are not playing the "whose life sucked more?" game with me, you arrogant dip-wad. Only conceited ego-maniacs looking for a handout go around telling people the exact details of the shit they've been through like some sort of self-obsessed crybaby. As if that got anyone anywhere. Besides, you're complaining about what? A fucking day? Oooh! How terrible! Your life is in such turmoil, being exposed to that at your age! Bet they tried to shoot you up with heroin and coke too, flashed gang signs in your face, and tried to beat you with a steel pipe as some sort of "you're a man now" initiation rite. Well, GEE. No fucking wonder you're a no-good alcoholic who drinks by himself in the woods, sitting there feeling sorry for yourself and watching all the other happy kids play nice with their fucking goddamn perfect families and fucking perfect lives, who don't have to worry about where they're going to sleep that night or where their next meal is coming from or whether or not they're going to be shot in their sleep or robbed in an alley somewhere and then fucking beat to a pulp when they realize you don't got shit to steal, and who don't have to worry whether one of their friends is going to wind up dead the next day from an fucking overdose or a hold-up gone wrong or one of those "accidental" police shootings or maybe they just got fucking sick of living that kind of shit life and tossed themselves off a building!!! So DO NOT FUCKING COMPLAIN TO ME LIKE A SISSY ASSHAT ABOUT ONE. FUCKING. DAY!!" Oriel had completely lost himself in that rant and completely forgot to bicker. Actually, he had worked himself up so much that his face was red and his breathing hard.

He really needed to hit something and Jack was looking pretty good for it right now. He didn't even care about the whole "panty-vs-hair sniffing" deal anymore. "Now..." Now what? "That's twice today you've pissed me off," the first being about the mother thing, "Do you really want to go for a third?"

And Oriel really needed to chill. He hated that he so easily exploded like that. Fuck.


Moving onward, when Oriel wasn't raging like a maniac, he grinned at Jack as he held up the thing that looked like a wedding noose. "How many licks does it take?" He retorted. "It's a harness. Or something like it. You stick your legs through, not your neck." Oriel handed the rope to Jack, completely expecting him to indulge him.

[Jack McCarthy]

Well this took quite a turn.

Up until this point Jack was quite enjoying his little verbal with the courteous Mr. Vanguard, it was good to stretch his debating muscles from time to time. And Oriel was proving himself to be the quite the entertaining foe, of course Jack wasn’t remotely serious. He didn’t seriously believe that Oriel was a panty smelling nor did he particularly consider his life harder then Oriels, these were just attempts to get a raise out of Ortiz, and boy did he get that.

Suddenly all good humour and joy all but left Jack’s face as Oriel went on his rant, and one of those rare occurrences occurred, where Jack’s mask of brashness came loose , and his armour was penetrated as Oriel attacked the one and only button that Jack had; his lack of self respect.

As Ortiz finished his little speech and asked Jack whether or not he wanted to piss off Oriel again. Jack was completely mute. He didn’t move, he didn’t speak, he didn’t respond in anyway. The only sign of any emotion was a slightly tensed forehead as if he was holding something back for exploding. He felt his fist opening and closing as any positive ground that Oriel and Jack had made had turned into pure and utter black hate on the part of Jack. He would have loved nothing better then to grab Oriel’s stupid smug pretty face and whack it repeatedly against the base of the nearest hardest tree he could find.

“….You don’t know me.” Jack simply stated, his voice ripe with bile and contempt “You have no idea of who I am or where I’ve been. So don’t even think for a second you can stand there and judge me….gimmie the stupid thing”

and that was that. Jack said no more on the subject and just grabbed the harness without another word, all the while hearing the little devil on his shoulder was whispering in his to break his legs.

Incidentally, the angel on his other shoulder was telling him to break just one leg.

[Deleted]

To say that Oriel wasn't enjoying himself with the fickle banter between two the headstrong idiots would be like saying that Hitler wasn't enjoying himself when....yeah I'm not going to continue with that comparison.

And what part of Oriel's face was smug?! He was literally steaming, he would probably explode and lay waste to the entire campsite if anyone even attempted to touch him right now. And the worst of it was...that Oriel wasn't even all the mad at Jack. No no no, Jack definitely wasn't the one he was hating so much right now. After all, that dork couldn't have known what Oriel's triggers were, what set him off the most into an honest-to-goodness rage. And now, because Oriel couldn't keep his own fucking problems in check, he'd gone and ruined another thing that could've been good(maybe?) before it had even begun.

Was there anyway he could salvage this...whatever he had going with Jack so far?

No...Of course not. Just looking at him, Oriel could see the lines of hate twisting on Jack's face. Nope. Well...If Jack was going to hate him forever anyway, then what more harm could he do by acting like an ass?

Oriel pulled the rope back away from Jack, refusing to let him take it. Oriel wasn't about to let it drop so easily. "You don't say?" he retorted. "Hi Kettle. My names Pot. I don't believe we've met." Not exactly the best thing to say, but maybe it would get his point across. "In case you didn't get it from that, Spongebob, you don't want me to judge you, you sure as hell don't get to judge me." For a moment, Oriel had hardened back into those of that pathetic street kid he'd once been. No light, no life. And no trust for anyone. "You don't know shit about what I been through neither."

Oriel chucked the rope back at the other boy, silently wishing Jack was stupid enough to hang himself on it, and stepped away, turning his back to the man holding the rope. No, he was not worried about being stabbed in the back. If this guy wanted to do anything to Oriel, he would have done it already.

[Jack McCarthy]

As it comes Oriz wasn’t the best at negotiating and defusing a possible volatile situation even though Jack could see the point he was trying to make, even if he was being a complete fucktard about it.

Please let the record show, that Jack never once judged a man without a legitimate reason to, for example he judged Ortiz to be a crazy violence obsessed psychopath because in their last meeting he acted completely like a crazy violence obsessed psychopath and the rest of it was just light ribbing on the part of Jack he couldn’t help it if people got their parties in a bunch because of it.

If nothing else Jack Mccarthy was firm but a fair man when he choose the subject to verbally abuse his foes with.

But…again Jack could see why Oriz thought what he thought, and he was willing to overlook a few things said in anger. Oriz wasn’t really a bad guy, just seriously messed up in the head. Plus he didn’t want to have someone who was like a foot taller then him pissed.

“….Your hair looks stupid.” Jack grumbled as he looked at the rope, that was a far as Jack would ever get to offering a truce. “So what I’m I meant to do with this thing?”

[Deleted]

Oriel clearly had a bad habit of making things worse after they had already gone bad. It's what he'd done for as long as he could remember under the notion that if things weren't going to get better anyway, then who cared if he made it worse? If people were going to hate him anyway, then he might as well go for broke and give them a good/better reason to do so. Now whether or not Oriel was actually aware of this, whether this was a plainly conscious or subconscious choice, was a question for another day.

Though, if Oriel was just more agreeable in the first fucking place, then maybe things would be bad enough to get worse.

He really was the worst asshole, wasn't he?

And at this point, Oriel had absolutely no expectations for Jack to do anything more than hate the boy and never have anything to do with him again. Because that's what sane people would do.

Oriel had to hold back a smile of relief when Jack continued with that pathetic taunt. Actually, he had to keep his legs from turning to jelly too. Instead, Oriel crossed his arms over his torso and shifted uncomfortably on his feet. "Y..your face looks stupid," he retorted after a moment's thought, continuing to avoid eye contact.

The sour-faced boy would have smiled to further communicate the 'no-hard-feelings' sentiment, but....that just wasn't Oriel. Instead, he maintained his scowl and proceeded to explain to Jack the ins and outs of his little gift he'd constructed for his Princess.