Picking Up Where We Left Off (Koty)

[Dante Russo]

Dante spent the day after his unexpected drug trip cleaning his room. There was dust settled on just about everything, and he tied a scarf over his nose and mouth and wore gloves so that he didn't start tripping again while he cleaned. It was a much needed act of normalcy after what happened.

He still felt strange after comming down. Normal, everyday things were still a surprise to him, and cleaning his room brought these things to his attention quickly-- Alarm clock. Right. Those exist. That was a good idea someone had... Nearly every object he picked up and cleaned evoked a similar response. Phones.. What a weird little thing. A tiny box you talk into...

So that was his day. Rediscovering reality. The next day, though, he remembered that there was something he was supposed to do. Koty! Holy shit, he forgot all about that! That was supposed to be days ago, and he totally ditched him! Fuck!

Moments later, Dante was knocking on door 501, mentally kicking himself. This was a thing he'd actually fully intended to do and then.. well something happened, and he felt awkward and he bailed without saying anything.

If Koty was the one to answer the door, Dante would look him square in the eye and say, "I'm a dick. I totally stood you up, and I'm a terrible excuse for a human being. Do you still wanna' do lunch?" Dante was in a sort of practical head space at the moment. If Koty wasn't the one who answered the door, he'd come in, find Koty and say the exact same thing.

[Koty Hura]

Fortunately enough, it was Koty that answered the door. He'd been sitting in the common room of the dorm flipping his balisong around. It was a bit of a meditative thing for him.. and noone else was around to say anything to him about it. He'd simply put the knife in his pocket and answered the door.. and stood blinking and more than a little surprised at Dante for several long moments before he shrugged and turned back around, leaving the door open so Dante could follow him in. "I am sure that far worse excuses for human beings exist." He plopped back down on the couch where he'd been sitting, rubbing his eyes. "I will admit that our plans slipped my mind as well, so I cannot hold it against you."

Truth be told, Koty had spent the entire day when he wasn't in class.. sleeping. Because really, that kinda crap took it out of him. What an insane amount of information to take in. By now he'd managed to forget the vast majority of it, but damn if there still weren't a lot of lives and choices and possibilities in his head. "It alarms me how many ways you die because of drugs or the people involved with them.. And how many ways drugs involve you causing or witnessing my death.." And he couldn't quite hold back a grin.. "But that surprises me less than the idea of you asking me to marry you.. You are a complicated individual, Dante."

But.. lunch. Yeah.. First off Koty didn't have any of the requisite supplies to cook anything American, and second he'd cooked yesterday. He still had enough food left over to last him two or three days. "But in reference to the topic of your visit.. I cooked yesterday and I do not have the supplies you would need to make your pasta. I fear it is somewhat late to take a bus into the city. Would you like to sample what I make and we can.. reschedule?"

On the good side of things, Koty obviously wasn't upset that Dante had blown him off. They'd both forgotten. They day had taken one hell of an unexpected turn. Hell, Koty hadn't remembered much from that day until recently. "You seem.. different, somehow. Is everything alright?" Traumatic events tended to change people's attitudes.. But then so did realizing you forgot something involving someone you actually thought you could be honest friends (or more, if precognitive episodes were to be believed) with. Could be either/or.. Could be something else entirely. At the very least Koty didn't figure it would be impolite to mention and question. He wasn't sure what else to do at the moment, actually, since food really didn't need to be cooked.

[Dante Russo]

"I guess." Dante shrugged when Koty said there were worse people. "Hitler happened so.. Yeah." He followed Koty inside and closed the door behind him. He was relieved to hear that Koty had forgotten as well--

And then, with no segue whatsoever, Koty remarked on the fascinating number of ways Dante could die. Dante stopped in the middle of the room and blinked at him. His brain still wasn't at full capacity, and unexpected changes of topic took him a minute.

"But that surprises me less than the idea of you asking me to marry you.. You are a complicated individual, Dante."

Dante inhaled sharply and looked away from Koty at that one. He could feel his face turning red, and he awkwardly cleared his throat with a small cough. No, not turning away because of embarrassment, just coughing. Nothing to see here! Of course, now that the thought was in his head, Dante noticed that Koty was pretty attractive.

Stop doing that. Christ! That's two now! Nobody else is attractive. Just Wren and Koty.... and that blonde guy who totally schooled your ass a few months ago. He was hot-- oh my god! Okay, three! Just three, and that's it! No more!

Thankfully, Koty changed the subject again with no fuss. Lunch. Right, that's why he was here. Because people ate food together, and the one in the middle of the day was called lunch. "Yeah, that's fine," Dante said, sounding a bit distant.

Koty asked if he was alright. "Hm?" Dante's gaze snapped back to him suddenly. "Yeah, I'm fine. Fine... Just got wicked high the other day and I'm still..." He wrinkled his forehead, thinking. "Processing. Tripped over a pixie," he clarified. "Dust. Everywhere."

[Koty Hura]

Dante's reaction to Koty bringing up what he'd seen in the precog's vision didn't go unnoticed in the slightest.. Actually, when it came to Dante, silence was a pretty difficult thing not to notice. And that cough? Hah. At least Dante was cute sometimes. Usually when he was caught off guard. The kid had his moments. Even a hedgehog with all of it's spikyness was super cute when it relaxed and had a soft warm underbelly.

"Oh? .. Tripped over a pixie? I would have assumed you were more observant than that. I'll admit that I am curious just what that dust does.. It is fortunate that you avoided having a vision while you were under the influence. I can only imagine what that would be like. Your normal visions are .. more than enough for me. I think I may still be sorting through everything." Hence bringing up drugs and marriage.

But without any mention of why, Koty rose from the couch and headed toward the little kitchen area of the dorm.. He opened two cabinets, gently shut them, and returned with two medium-sized tupperware containers and a bottle of soy sauce. "It is somewhere between late lunch and early dinner time, yes? I do not recall eating today. I have been a bit lazy. Would you like some?" The food was set on the couch and the soy sauce found it's way to the floor between their feet as Koty resumed his seat.

"This is.. nothing special, admittedly. Sticky rice in one container, cooked chicken in the other. I often eat them cold, but I would be happy to warm them up if you would like. I could also get you a plate or bowl if you have any issues with sharing a dish.." He pulled two sets of chopsticks and a fork from his pocket.. "And I do not require that you observe Japanese customs, though you are welcome to if you see fit and believe you are able." The chopsticks (cheapo disposable ones) and the fork would be presented to Dante.

All in all, this was likely the most casual Dante had seen Koty. But then Koty had been a bit more casual since his brain had been nearly broken by Dante's vision. In fact, he'd very nearly used some contractions and Dante might have picked up on the slight stutters in Koty's speech when he'd stopped himself if he was paying attention.

[Dante Russo]

"Yeah.. Totally avoided.. That," Dante said, knitting his brow. He purposly made his tone obvious. He wasn't trying to lie. He was going for dubious sarcasm. It occurred to him afterward that he wasn't sure Koty would pick up on that. He wasn't clear on exactly how robot-like he was. He didn't use contractions, and he tended to take a lot of things literally regardless of context...

Either way, he wasn't going to get into it unless Koty asked, because it was hard to explane, and he didn't think he could do the experience justice with words. Of course, having seen one of his visions, Koty might be able to guess if Dante gave him something to go on.

Or you could just touch him. Dante shook his head at the thought. No. No no. That was just plane rude. Koty didn't need anymore fucked up shit from Dante's brain.

He sat down on the couch when Koty brought food over, and he distractedly stated that everything was fine the way it was. Dante chose the fork when he was offered utensils. Not that he didn't know how to use chopsticks. He just didn't feel very coordinated right now, and it was a pain in the ass cleaning food out of the couch.

[Koty Hura]

With Dante's proclamation that everything was fine as it was, the boy scooted the two containers next to each other and.. with apparent skill transferred half of the rice into the chicken container.. then half of the chicken to the half-empty rice container.. leaving them each a half-and-half container of rice and chicken.. "If you aren't particularly hungry we'll share." --Wait. Aren't? Dammit. --And we'll? CRAP. Clearly Koty wasn't entirely himself.. or wasn't entirely cognitively able at the moment. Whatever. Boom. Koty had used not one, but TWO contractions.

In the wake of realizing that his concentration was slipping, Koty reflected on the actual and obvious sarcasm Dante had responded with earlier, and stared over at precog with a raised brow. "So.. You did have a vision while you were, as you claim, 'wicked high'? ..Now I find myself trying to imagine that. I'- have never been under the influence of any drugs aside from caffeine and that horrible tobacco the other day."

He paused, wondering if he should continue for a moment before he shrugged halfheartedly. "Is it something you wish for me to understand? Based on what you have explained, you do not recall much, but if a vision while you were under the influence of pixie dust has had such a profound effect.. I am both willing and curious to experience what you remember." At least it would maybe help to take his mind off of the dozens of different ways in which Dante could choke to death on random foods. Seriously, when the kid was around, the memories got was more.. memorable.

[Dante Russo]

Dante watched absently as Koty divided up the food. He wasn't actually sure how hungry he was. He should be ravenous. Pretty sure he didn't eat yesterday. Hadn't eaten yet today.

"Yeah," he said slowly, "it was... different. Really different." He stabbed a bit of chicken with his fork and held it up in front of his face. Looking at it contemplatively. Chickens were weird creatures.

"...I am both willing and curious to experience what you remember."

"I don't think you wanna' do that," he said quickly, zoning back into the conversation. He suddenly looked frightened. Eyes a little too wide. Nostrils flared. "Seriously. You don't need that experience."

Dante finally put his fork into his mouth and occupied himself for a moment. Chicken. Weird, but tasty. "I can try to explain it, if you want but... I really don't think you should go digging around for that memory."

[Koty Hura]

"Of course I should refrain from digging. I try very hard not to 'dig'. Digging is.. It is similar to stealing, I suppose. If I was to 'dig' for whatever memory I want, I would have to wade through potentially a lot of other memories.. and I may come across things that I do not wish to know, that you do not wish for me to know, and it is a serious risk. Going too deep can have serious and permanent repercussions.. Or at least that is what I have always told myself, and what I believe."

Also, digging was no fun at all. Especially for something a person was trying to hide. If said person didn't have psychic walls up, that only meant that what someone was trying to hide was usually surrounded by a moat. Often of sewage. Metaphorical sewage, of course, but the unwanted crap in their mind.. Secrets were often rather wastelike.. putrid and disgusting and something noone was proud of. The part of a person's mind where their darkest or scariest secrets were kept was all too often very much like a cesspool... Koty had no desire to swim in Dante's.

"The idea would be for you to instead share with me what you wish to share.. As much as you believe would be safe for me to experience. A gift. This gift, though, I would imagine, would involve less bruising or fists." Not all gifts were good gifts, but they all had meaning.. and if Dante was this upset about it.. maybe he really did need to share. "You seem.. uncharacteristically leery. I cannot help but be both curious and somewhat worried, Dante. I may not know you very well, but what I do know about you tells me that this behavior is something to take note of. Would you at least like to explain? I worry that you need to share in one way or the other."

In order to give Dante plenty of time to think, Koty took the container of food and mixed up a bit of rice with a bit of chicken, deftly grasping the little ball of food he'd created and transferring it to his mouth.. only to repeat once he was done chewing until Dante had sorted through his thoughts enough to make a decision on the matter.. and if Dante decided to talk, Koty would listen and continue eating.. because it might make Dante feel a little more at ease if it felt like he didn't have Koty's full attention, even though few things were further from the truth.

[Dante Russo]

Dante let out a slow sigh. This was only the second time they'd met, but Dante supposed that koty remembered enough of his vision to know how he usually behaved. It was a little weird that Dante wasn't more allarmed by this, but he was still getting used to, well, everything after that trip. His own alarm clock had baffled him for a moment yesterday, so Koty's apparent knowledge of Dante's personality was welcome. He really did need someone to talk to.

"Well," he said slowly while Koty occupied himself with eating, "the only part of the vision I really remember is the very end but... it went on for a long time. Or... it felt like it went on for a long time anyway." Dante pushed some of his food around with his fork. "There was.. this unending expance of colored blocks. They.. sort of.. fit together. Like Tetris blocks. But it was the same.. three blocks repeating for as far as I could see. It was like.. I was a part of them, but also seeing them from above.. sort of. And I got the sense that... that I wasn't really supposed to be aware of myself. I was supposed to be intertwined with them, and never know that it was just the same thing going on and on and.... nothing else existed. It was just that. I felt like I was there for.. well.. I guess forever doesn't count. I don't think there was any time. It'd just always been like that, and it would never change. It was..." Dante stared at his food for a moment. "Terrifying," he said finally. "It was terrifying."

Dante lifted his fork, looked at it, then put it down again. "If I had to guess, I'd say that my brain just tried to process so much information at once that this was the only way it could translate it. I mean... if you look at history, the same cycles sort of repeat themselves over and over.. and it doesn't seem to matter too much what time period you look at. We always manage to repeat ourselves."

Dante looked up from his food to study Koty's face. "What's disturbing is that everything seems so strange now. Whenever I look at something, I have to try to remember why it makes sense. Like.. cars. Where did that come from? It seems so arbitrary. Then I remember that before that people had horses or whatever, and some guy actually had to invent that shit. I'm still sort of stuck on evolution. This still seems like a random assembly of parts. We could have wound up looking like... well any number of things, but we got this one. It's seriously tripping me out. I wonder if this is what an existential crisis feels like."

[Koty Hura]

"Oh.. I am reasonably sure that even the majority of precogs do not have quite this sort of 'existential crisis'." Koty took a moment to stare at the carpet.. trying to absorb what Dante had told him. Make it make sense and understand it from what little he knew about Dante's point of view. Seriously, the majority of the things he had seen had less to do with Dante making decisions and more to do with what happened whichever way a choice went and what came after it. Great insight into the situations a person got into, not the greatest of insight into how they looked at the world to arrive at those situations.. Or.. it kinda was, but still wasn't? ...Whatever, Koty still understood Dante better from their interaction than he did from what he had seen. Especially because only one of those hundreds of billions of things he'd seen would ever be the thing that actually happened. At least in this reality. Gah.

"Tetris pieces, patterns repeating over and over.. I am reluctant to speculate in either direction, but.. If I were to have seen the same thing in a dream, I imagine I would assume that the patterns and repetition either represented the world, or represented me. Not both. Either the world goes through the same cycles over and over and the pieces always fall predictably, or I myself am predictable, and regardless of intention or opportunity I am bound to repeat the same mistakes again and again." But.. more than that there was something else that Koty wanted to convey.

"Where I am.. 'stuck' having only heard about this experience.. Is that you usually remember very, very little from your visions. And you describe this as if it were very vivid. Enough to startle you quite a bit. If you would be willing to explore things from another viewpoint, I would offer that perhaps what you saw had little to do with a precognitive vision, and was more a warning from your own subconscious. That you are prone and will be easily tempted into repeating your previous mistakes and habits and routines.. Perhaps this strangeness that exists is the one way to break the pattern, and if you remain reverent you will be more able to keep the pattern from falling back into place?"

This sort of thing was difficult to communicate verbally. It required a lot of words, and a hundred different words could make a hundred tiny differences to a thousand different people. Each person's perspective was unique, each person's take on any given word or combination of words was unique.. That was half of the reason that first telepathic contact with someone was so strange.. because minds spoke very different dialects and cultures as much as people themselves did. Even if they spoke the same language, things could still be really hard to follow and understand.. and even if things were easy enough to understand, it was always from a single perspective.. which was almost always inherently flawed.

"It does indeed sound as though you were 'wicked high' though, Dante. Did you experience worse side-effects than usual as well?"

[Dante Russo]

Dante listened quietly until Koty was finished. He didn't have the energy for a debate right now, even though he took issue with at least one thing. If what he saw reflected the world, then it also reflected himself personally. The universe was, after all, made up of individuals and their choices. If a large majority of those individuals didn't consistently repeat their past mistakes, then neither would the world as a whole. It could very easily refer to both at the same time.

But Dante didn't feel like arguing. Koty's point was still valid. He was prone to repeating his mistakes.

"I..." Dante thought for a moment about what Koty asked him. Side effects. The migraines. He'd managed to forget about that. "No, actually," he said slowly, knitting his brow. "I didn't. I didn't get a headache at all..." Dante trailed off, blinking down at his food. "Do you think it's weird that we need to eat things that were once alive to keep on living ourselves?" That was random, but Dante was noticing a lot of things he'd never noticed before. "Why didn't I get a headache? That's so weird. Felt like I left the fabric of time altogether. You'd think that would give me a headache..."

[Koty Hura]

Koty actually gave Dante a small smile at the mention of no headaches, then turned thoughtful again at the mention of eating once-live things.. and stayed that way. "The only thing I know about pixie dust is that it is generally hallucinogenic.. But I also know that in clinical trials LSD has been successfully used to treat the majority of migraine symptoms. I am unsure how pixie dust compares to LSD, or how LSD treats migraines.. but perhaps there were enough similarities that pixie dust prevented your migraine altogether?" Yeah, leaving the very fabric of reality behind did seem like something that would give one a headache..

"As for our need to eat once-living things.. I believe that it is possible to live a life entirely free of meat. Do you consider plants to be living things as well? Bacteria? If we did evolve, we must have done so in such a way that we were able to take advantage of the resources available to us.. Animals and plants were available, so.. we consumed them. Our bodies grew accustomed to it.. I have never actually considered it past the logic. I do understand, though, from movies, that humans cannot survive off of meat harvested from humans.. I believe it has something to do with lack of a necessary protein?" The book of Eli. Maybe it was true, maybe not.. Seemed half-relevant.

"What I know for sure, though, is that I personally am glad that you did not receive a headache comparable to your vision. Given how bad I understand your migraine was previously, one to match a fabric-of-time-leaving vision may well be bad enough to cause you serious harm. And I know that the food we eat is plentiful, even if some of it is gotten by less than humane means.. and it helps a great deal to drive economies.. So I am thankful for both things, even if I do not fully understand either one." Om nom nom..

[Dante Russo]

Interesting. Interesting. LSD helps migrains. Fascinating. The dust felt an aweful lot like dropping acid, so maybe they had similar medicinal properties. Seemed likely, and the evidence seemed to support it...

Wait, what was that about plants? "Of course plants and bacteria are alive," Dante said, with a hint of that argumentative spark in his voice. "They grow, reproduce, and requier sustinance. In what universe is that not 'alive'? Are there people who don't think they're alive? Because I'd like to show them the difference between a tree and the rock they've been living under."

Talking to Koty was already starting to make him feel better. Maybe it was human contact. Maybe it was just finally putting i to words what he saw. Maybe Koty was just a very grounding person to talk to. Whatever it was, Dante was starting to feel slightly less detached from reality, and that was a relief. Being detached from reality was uncomfortable.

Understatement. Being detached from relity was maddening. He'd been wondering how long it would take to feel normal again, and Koty seemed to be speeding up that process.

[Koty Hura]

Koty raised a hand slightly as Dante got a bit argumentative.. In a sign of submission and admitting a mistake and requesting the chance to choose his words more accurately. "Apologies, I did not mean to imply lack of life, only lack of sentience. Forgive me.. I have felt less 'quick' than usual following our last meeting." Because seriously, a near infinite number of choices and each of their potential outcomes could slow down a mind a bit. No wonder Dante forgot it all.

"I believe that.. Matter is converted to energy is converted back to matter in different forms. Some of these forms are more suitable for certain things, while others are not. As a species were are omnivores.. Our bodies can fabricate numerous proteins given the basic building blocks, but there are some that we are required to consume on their own. I have no clue as to why humans developed in such a fashion, but I believe that it is the reason we are required to consume once-living things to sustain ourselves."

....Koty wasn't sure if he'd just said the same thing in a few different ways, but.. Oh well. If Dante took issue with what he was saying, he could mention it. Or shout about it. Or reach out and punch him. It wouldn't be the first time.. And honestly it probably wouldn't be the last.

"So why do you believe that sharing what you remember with me would be 'bad'? If it is a thing you can comprehend now.. I believe that I should be capable of comprehending it as well. --I am not attempting to pry, only to understand. I am not asking you to share what you do not wish to share, I only wish to understand your reasoning." Also, the thing about curiosity was that when one was told they couldn't have or know about something, it only made them want to know that much more. Perhaps Koty was side-tracking with the reasoning talk, or perhaps he was hoping that a half-decent reason would give him an excuse to quiet his curiosity. He wouldn't know until he had either a reason or understood what Dante had experienced.

[Dante Russo]

Sentience. Dante sort of zoned out after that. Were plants sentient? He'd heard about an experiment someone did that involved measuring a plant's electrical output in response to stimuli. He wasn't sure what the exact definition of sentience was, but the experiment seemed to indicate that plants were certainly more aware than he'd previously assumed. So why shouldn't that be true for microbes? Scientists recently discovered that dolphins have names, so it seemed reasonable to assume that humans don't know jack shit about how anything actually works.

Dante blinked when Koty went back to the vision thing. He sighed and put down his fork, having not managed to take another bite yet. "It's just that... I don't really know how this works for you, and if you're gonna' see it as vivid as I did then I don't think you want to. My whole sense of reality is seriously fucked up right now-- and I already mind-fucked you once already. I would not feel good about breaking your brain."

Dante looked down at his food again and pushed it around with his fork. There was a small part of him that wanted Koty to see it. Just so that another person could understand how small he felt. How disconnected. How frightened. Just explaining it was like explaining a nightmare. It never sounded as terrifying as it felt. At the same time, he really didn't want to fuck up this kid's head. Dante's head was already fucked up, so it mattered less for him. Not like he'd ever be well adjusted (thought the precog who totally fucking knew better.)