Time Warp: February Air [Rowan]

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

[February 2021]

Four days. It had been four days since Lucy left for Paris for her very first international art exhibition.

Penelope was happy for her partner, truly. But she also hadn’t properly slept since the Australian left. She was reminded of when they had first gotten together in high school; Lucy was everywhere. But now it hurt instead of annoyed her. Now her girlfriend was 3,443 miles away.

The Brit felt as if she couldn’t touch anything in their apartment. Her psychometry made the situation extremely hard, and that was why she was setting herself up with a makeshift bed on their sofa. She couldn’t stand another memory of Lucy only to snap out of it and realize how alone she really was.

Penelope folded the brand new comforter neatly on the couch, and placed a new pillow on top of it too. That should help.

She pulled at her sweater, wrapping it closer to herself. February was such a horrible month. It was brutally cold, even with the heat on. Slipping into the kitchen, she put a kettle on the stove, deciding make a cup of tea to warm up.

Just as the water came to a boil, Penelope heard a knock at the door. Immediately, her eyebrows knitted together in confusion. Who was possibly knocking on her door at nine in the evening? Not that it was an unacceptable time, just strange.

Penelope headed for the door, using the peephole to see who was trying to visit. The person she found on the other side of the door only confused her further, but she opened the door nonetheless.

“Hello, Rowan.”

[Rowan Booker]

Lucy was in god damn Paris. What the absolute fuck. Okay, that probably sounded bad. Rowan wasn't mad at Lucy for going to Paris because she was doing what she loved. She was being successful, she was spreading the Lucky love and he was really proud of her. But he'd never been so far away from her for so long. And it was torture. More torture than he'd ever had to handle before.

The more he thought about it, the more he realized that he wasn't the only one without her. There was Penelope, too. If he was having this hard of a time with it, he wondered how she was feeling. He was going crazy and she was already kind of nuts-o so he could just imagine what the distance was doing to her.

Rowan couldn't take it anymore, eventually he just got in the car and headed over to his best friend and her partner's house. He knew the way by heart because he often went there to spend time with them whenever he had something funny to tell Lucy.

Sitting in the driveway for a bit, he rubbed the back of his neck and bit his lip. Penny wasn't exactly his biggest fan, but for these circumstances, she should understand the need for fellow craziness. He got out of the car and headed up the stairs. The door opened after he knocked and he was greeted by Penelope's formality.

"Hello," He said as he stepped inside and looked around. Rowan couldn't hold back any longer, "Why'd she have to go? Why didn't we go with her? Is it just me or is this absolute hell? I mean I've been friends with her for ten years, Penelope and I've never gone so long without seeing her. I'm going crazy. We should have gone with. What if she wanted us to and we just didn't think of it?" He ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "Do you miss her as much as I do? Or am I just overreacting here?"

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

Penelope didn’t have time to invite Rowan in, nor did she have time to ask him why he was there. Just as she had closed the door, the boy had gone off on a rant. Penelope’s eyes grew wide as he seemingly started expressing just about everything that was on his mind.

Her immediate reaction was panic. Comforting people was not exactly her forte. Yet, as she listened to him continue, she started to realize that he had the same doubts that she did. It only made sense; Rowan was a close friend with Lucy for longer than Penny had even been with the Australian.

She pressed her lips into a thin line, feeling a strange sense of relief that she wasn’t the only one with these worries. She just had no idea how to express them.

…And now she was being put on the spot. She opened her mouth, but found the words caught in her throat. She hesitated a moment before finally speaking.

“Would you like a cup of tea?”

Before she could get an answer, Penelope walked over to the kitchen. It was fortunate that she already had her kettle on. It wasn’t long before she was handing him a white mug.

She extended her hand towards the small dining room table, offering Rowan to sit down. Maybe he’d calm down a bit if he did. She sat down herself, tired eyes fixed on the mug in her own hands as she ran a thumb over the rim. She remained silent for a minute.

Finally, she brought her gaze back up to Rowan. “I do.” She spoke softly, “Miss her.”

[Rowan Booker]

Rowan felt like a wimp for acting this way. He couldn't last a few days without Lucy, as if she were like some vital organ to him. In a way though, she was. If it hadn't been for her being in his life, he wasn't sure where he'd be. Things would be okay, he knew, but he'd be so different. He'd be so...unlike himself.

It was understandable, wasn't it? For him to be so completely mindfucked by his best friend being 3,000 miles away? For him to be sort of upset that he wasn't there watching her be successful? Wasn't that what best friends did? And to make matters worse, he could only imagine how pissed Penny was to hear how he was the one that missed her. He was being selfish, but he couldn't help it. It was Lucy.

When she answered with a question, he just looked at her and frowned. He didn't even answer before she went off to make it anyway. Rowan knew he needed to get a grip because he couldn't just throw all of his worries and frustrations out there for everyone to see. The whole feelings thing was better for him now, but he still didn't like being this way. Least of all in front of someone like Penelope.

He took the mug from her and sat down at the dining room table, sipping cautiously at the warm beverage. His hands gripped the mug and he looked down at it with a sigh, mimicking what she was doing without realizing it.

It wasn't until she spoke that he bothered to look up again and he frowned at her answer. "I've never been this far away from her. In ten years, she's always been so close.... I just feel like I should be there because I've always been there with her when it came to the big life events, y'know? I mean I'm being selfish here, and I don't want to be, Penelope, but I don't know how to do this. Which is kind of why I came here because I figured you'd understand...or I mean, I hoped you would."

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

Penelope’s eyes hardened at Rowan’s final sentence. “I do understand. Don’t you dare doubt that,” she stated, a tired harshness in her voice. She placed her elbow on the table, bringing a hand up as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

“I wanted to be there.” In all honesty, she had spent more time calculating vacation time and looking up plane tickets than she would like to openly admit. There was no way she could do it. “I still want to be there.” She added, trying to get the point across.

She brought the teacup to her lips to buy her time. It was a hard subject to talk about, even with someone who she was confident felt a similar pain to herself from Lucy’s absence. Talking about it didn’t solve problems, it only made them more real.

She brought the teacup from her lips, placing it gently on the table as she looked back over at Rowan. This was Lucy’s best friend she was talking to, but there had always been a distinct distance between herself and the man.

But this was the man who also knew Lucy better than Penelope did – possibly even better than Lucy did herself. And he doubted her. Doubted that she really missed Lucy, that she felt the same pain when she was gone.

“I want to marry her.”

[Rowan Booker]

"Calm the fuck down, I didn't say you don't understand," He snapped back in frustration. If she wanted to be harsh to him, he could be harsh right back. The fact of the matter was he had been with Lucy for ten years, she hadn't. He was Lucy's best friend that had always been 'the guy' in her life just as much as she'd been 'the woman' in his. Penelope was Lucy's girlfriend, and relationships never outlived their friendship. But Rowan kept from saying those things and hoped she would leave it at that.

Rowan gave a frustrated sigh, "Then why aren't we? I mean between the two of us, we should be able to, right?" Okay, he knew if they both chipped in it would probably be only one of them that could go, but whether she wanted to believe it or not, he'd have probably given her the ticket over himself. He loved Lucy enough that he knew she'd probably rather see her girlfriend than him anyway. Because as stated above, she'd been with him for ten years.

He hadn't meant to say that she didn't miss Lucy as much as he did, it was more that he thought he was overreacting by feeling the way that he did without his best friend less than 3000 damn miles away.

Staring down at the tea cup, he just kept sighing. This was an uncomfortable situation he'd put himself in because at least whenever he came over before, Lucy had been there to keep him from being stuck alone with Penelope. This time, there was no Lucy to buffer the distaste between them. Rowan had never really understood Lucy and Penelope's relationship, but it wasn't for him to judge. It was Lucy's choice and he was going to support her no matter what he thought.

When she started talking again, Rowan looked up and his eyes widened. She wanted to marry Lucy.... His world went a little upside down and his eyes just blanked. She wanted to steal his Lucky. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "Are you going to ask her when she comes back?"

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

“Do not swear in my household.” For once, she could finally enforce this rule. Penny's lips pursed as she stared Rowan down. She raised her eyebrows as she realized she had misinterpreted him, but didn't offer a reply or an apology. Penny had never been able to get on the same wavelength as the man, and it was frustrating. Perhaps that was why they had never really been alone together until that moment, and she realized his presence only made the Brit miss Lucy more.

Penelope knew that even between the two of them, they would be lucky if they could afford a trip for one of them, let alone both. “I just finished grad school, Rowan, I can't afford anything.” She was in the process of trying to get a proper job at Hammel, but she was still waiting to hear back for an interview. She had no source of proper income except what Lucy brought in and any money that Penelope had in savings, which was slowly diminishing.

Penny wasn't exactly sure why she had told Rowan. It was the first she had brought it up with anybody let alone the one person Penelope thought would disapprove of it the most. She determined it was a mix of needing to prove to him that she really did love his best friend along with the fact that she truly had been thinking it over for quite some time now.

She watched his reaction carefully and she took a deep breath in herself. This wasn't going to go well. “When things are more stable,” she started slowly as continued to run a thumb over the rim of her teacup, “Yes.” She couldn't bring herself to ask Lucy to marry her when she couldn't help bring in a paycheck.

She paused a moment, dreading what she was about to ask next. “Are you okay with that?”

[Rowan Booker]

"Why? Just because Lucy's not here it makes a god damn difference?" Rowan said with a nasty glare. Who was she to tell him how to talk? He wasn't going to tell her to remove the stick from her ass when she was in his household. Who the fuck did she think she was telling him to not swear in a house that was shared between her and his best friend, who happened to swear like a sailor. She was just mad that Lucy wasn't around to keep him reigned in.

Rowan shrugged. He was out of school at this point, the dance team assistant at the Institute. He got paid enough, but it wasn't going to get him anywhere near where he wanted to be. Or where she wanted to be. So they were both at a loss, fine. He still wanted to be there. He could still make crazy plans even if they wouldn't come true. They both knew it.

The statement of her intentions with his best friend hadn't been taken well. No matter how calm he seemed on the surface, he was boiling inside. Here they were, barely able to stand each other, and she wanted to marry his best friend. The ONLY woman that he'd ever loved as anything other than a sister. She was more to him than that. She was his other half, his soulmate. And Penelope was trying to take her away. How would she have felt if the situation was reversed? Would she even understand the level of which him and Lucy cared about each other? He doubted it.

And then she asked if he as okay with it. If only she hadn't.

"Fuck no I'm not okay with it. But that doesn't really fucking matter does it?" He shook his head and stood up, the chair scraping against the floor in protest. "As long as Lucy sees that I'm happy about it, as fake as it might be, she'll say yes. I may be an asshole. But I love Lucy. More than myself and I know what will make her happy." Even if it wouldn't make him happy. Even if it tore into him that she would marry someone that hated him and that he couldn't stand. "You won't get my blessing, but you'll get my silence. I won't tell her my thoughts on it because I won't hurt her like that."

He ran his hand through his hair, "Sorry about all of the swearing...maybe I should go."

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

Penelope was growing more and more frustrated with Rowan’s behavior. This was completely unacceptable. She took a sip of tea, trying to keep herself calm, even though the boy’s attitude was starting to effectively get under her skin.

“This is my home, and you will follow my rules while in it.” She didn’t think her words would stop him at this point, but she wouldn’t let him get away with it without at least commenting it on it. She’d have to figure out a way to better enforce it later.

The Brit had no idea exactly how Rowan was going to answer her question. There was no doubt in her mind that it wasn’t going to be pretty, but her eyes widened as he spoke. She certainly wasn’t expecting that.

Her gaze remained fixed on her teacup as he explained, her fingers twitching slightly at every few words. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly. Although Penelope knew that Rowan wouldn’t approve, somehow hearing him say it out loud made it all the worse. He disapproved with such passion, like it’d kill him if Penny were to marry his best friend.

Penelope tried her best to remain silent and let him speak his piece, but she was starting to feel the overwhelming urge to fight back. To explain to him that if she married Lucy, it didn’t mean that Rowan would be pushed out of their life. She had no plans to take Lucy away from him, but instead, he was being the selfish one by not wanting to support his best friend.

But one sentence changed that urge to fight completely. He’d remain silent. For Lucy.

Penelope’s gaze lifted as she heard the chair get pushed out. “Don’t.” she said simply. Coldly. She followed suit, gently pushing her chair back as she stood. “If you don’t approve…” She let out a sigh, unable to believe what she was about to say, “I wont do it.” She’d never thought anything would stop her from this, especially Rowan. “Lucy wants your happiness just as much as you want hers. If she were to find out, it’d kill her.” She shot a sharp look towards Rowan, “I’m not saying this for you. I’m saying it for her.”

[Rowan Booker]

"And what if I don't? You gonna kick me out? How well do you think that'll go over with Lucy?" He'd love to see her dig herself out of that hole. Rowan knew exactly how to get under her skin, just like she seemed to know exactly how to get under his. Then again, it hadn't taken her much. Just by capturing Lucy's attention, she'd been added to the shit list.

And in a way, her marrying Lucy would kill him. A part of him that still held onto the fact that no one had an official claim on Lucy or Lucy's heart. A part of him that wanted to believe she'd love him with more than just a part of herself, but with her whole self. He wanted to think that Lucy was still his, just like she had been all those years ago. Back when it was him that had been the only one that knew how perfect she was. Where had Penelope been then?

If she'd voiced her thoughts about him being selfish when it came to Lucy, it'd have started a whole new fight. One that would have ended in a lot worse things being said. Rowan had never liked Penelope. Not once did he think she was worth Lucy's time. Back when he found out they'd had sex, he recalled Lucy's words to him about how she wasn't looking for anything serious. Look where things ended now. All of his anger wasn't directed towards Penelope, but any that he would have towards Lucy evaporated in thin air because he did love her.

Her tone caused his eyes to snap up to hers. "What part of I won't hurt her like that, don't you get? I love Lucy more than anything in the world. I have since the moment I met her, no matter how strained it had been. I want her to be happy and you know if that means her being with someone that I don't see worthy of her time and attention, well then so be it. That's how it's gonna happen. She's not going to find out because neither of us are going to tell her. Because neither of us want to hurt her." He folded his arms across his chest, daring her to disagree. Daring her to tell Lucy something that would end up only making things so much worse for both of them.

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

Penelope remained silent, refusing to admit Rowan was right. But he was; if she kicked him out, it would only bring more trouble. Even with how much she would love to kick Rowan out of her home, she knew it wasn't an option, regardless of if her love was there or not.

The Brit wished she had the ability to ignore Rowan; that his words wouldn't cut in as deep as they did. She refused to give him the pleasure of seeing just how much he made the psychometrist question her worthiness of Lucy, but every word felt like a physical blow.

Maybe she really wasn't worth Lucy's time...

No. Penny shook the thought out of her head. She was dealing with Rowan here. He'd be jealous of a puppy if it got too close to the Australian. Penny just had to kerp reminding herself of it.

The Brit raised her eyebrows at Rowan's explanation. "Are you seriously telling me I'm not good enough for Lucy, but I can make her happy?" She questioned. Part of her wanted to pick apart his thoughts, yet another side accepted the answer. She finished her tea, frustrated with both herself and the boy. "You know I couldn't tell her that." She stated coldly.

[Rowan Booker]

Rowan knew she wouldn't understand. She didn't get it. She didn't realize that it had nothing to do with her personally, rather that it had everything to do with him and the feeling of losing Lucy. Penelope didn't realize how insanely detrimental to his health losing Lucy would be. It'd be like being split in half, expected to survive. Penelope didn't know about his past, about how he'd already lost someone so important to him and how he couldn't take it again.

He folded his arms tight around his chest and looked away from her, "I'm saying that if you are what Lucy wants, I'm not going to get in the way of that. Because I can't afford to risk losing her again, Penelope." He wasn't sure if he'd survive it again because Lucy was one of those people in his life that made him feel like he wasn't worthless.

"Good, so we have at least the smallest agreement. Look, I know I'm a dick and that you hate me, but Lucy is one of the most important people in my life and all I want is the best for her," Because despite what he'd ever admit to himself, Lucy had taken the place of his cousin after Benjamin had died. He'd never been able to tell her that and he didn't think he ever would.

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

It was true; Penelope had no idea that it wasn’t that Rowan had an issue of her. She knew the boy was protective of Lucy, but she just felt like he hated her even more than he would anybody else that wanted to be a part of Lucy’s life. It was an exhausting reminder that he hated her.

“Again?” Penny thought back on the moment he was referring to, and she pushed the teacup away from her in frustration. The more he spoke, the more she realized exactly why she couldn’t stand the man. “Are you still not over that?” She closed her eyes, Lucy’s upset expression still clear in her mind from the day Rowan had confronted her about it.

Her jaw clenched as she opened her eyes. She so desperately wanted to say how she didn’t believe him. That he didn’t want what was best for Lucy because he was suffocating her so much, still holding onto something that had happened years ago.

Yet as her mind drifted back to Lucy, she kept quiet.

The fact that they reached any sort of agreement was shocking, but what wasn’t surprising was that they both did it for Lucy. Penelope couldn’t deny that Rowan loved the Australian. "Do you not think that I want what's best for her, too?"

[Rowan Booker]

The way she got frustrated with him over something that was largely her fault didn't set well with the Boston boy. How could she even say something like that and expect him to just nod with a smile? Fuck no. "Are you fucking serious? You have some fucking nerve to ask me as if you're the one that got fucking hurt because of it. Of god-damn course I'm not over it. How would you feel if she ditched you for some other broad?"

He shook his head and laughed, "No, ya know what, that doesn't even describe what it was like. Imagine it this way Penelope, imagine having a twin. A twin that is more or less your lifeline, that you honestly don't know what would happen if you ever got split apart. Imagine that but ten times more serious. Now imagine having that twin just up and leave you for a fucking lollipop." At the time he'd been so sure that it was all just for sex, but then that happened and he was brutally shoved into reality. How the hell was he supposed to just get over that?

Rowan had 'gotten over it' for Lucy. He kept all of the bitterness in and directed it towards Penelope because he didn't know how to be angry with Lucy. Not on a serious level. Not even Lucy would understand this though. She was the one person that saw him as something more than just an asshole. She understood him and she'd been like him. But ever since Penelope came into the picture, they hadn't been the same.

Looking up at the woman that he wanted to blame for all of the bull shit in his life, he frowned, "Why do you think I'm not saying anything to Lucy about how much I don't want her to get married to you? Because I do think that you want what's best for her. Honestly you probably know what's best for her better than I do, Penelope. But that doesn't mean I'm happy about it." He ran his hand through his hair and shook his head. He'd always been the one looking out for her and vice versa, but now....

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

The Brit remained silent as Rowan spoke his piece. It wasn’t the first time he dwindled her down to nothing verbally, but it didn’t make it any less tiring to listen to. Lollipop was new a new one; she’d have to give him points for lack of creativity. She closed her eyes and took in a slow breath. His logic was faulty, she just had to remind herself of that. Penelope couldn’t let him get to her.

She never took Lucy from Rowan, she never asked Lucy to leave him for her, but somehow it was her fault that the boy felt so abandoned. It was possible for Lucy to keep them both in her life, and Penelope never would want the Australian to have to choose. She didn’t understand why Rowan had to look at it the way he did.

Still, she remained silent. The psychometrist knew by now reasoning with Rowan was impossible.

An eyebrow raised as Rowan stated he thought that Penny knew what was best for Lucy. It was the closest statement to a compliment that she’d ever received from the boy. Had it not been said out of spite, the aerokinetic might have received a smile from it.

“If you think your silence somehow makes you a better person, you’re wrong.” She finally spoke, rising from her chair. She took her teacup, returning it to the kitchen. She couldn’t just sit there, even if her body was exhausted.