Blame It On The Stars [Lucy]

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

Penelope was done.

Days had past since her encounter with the Lucy and the Cheng twins, but the Australian's words still rang in her ears. Jesus, I'd hate to be the one sleeping with you. Penelope felt herself growing more irritated the more she thought of it – and she'd been thinking of it a lot.

She paced in her room, looking over at the buckets of white paint she grabbed from the art department two days ago. She had yet to paint her walls, however. Something was stopping her, and that just added fuel to her irritation.

Why did it bug her so much? People, Lucy included, had said far worse to her in the past that didn't even cause the Brit to falter in her step, but this, this was different.

She trusted Lucy.

Angry with herself, Penelope brought a hand up, pinching the bridge of her nose. She let out a long breath. Just breathe. She needed to calm down. This was nothing to get in a tizzy over. Penelope sat down at her desk, leaning back in her chair as her fingers played idly with the hem of her pajama top.

There was a knocking at the door, and Penelope didn't bother to make the effort to go answer it. The visitor was likely there for one of her roommates anyway. She let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through her hair.

This was pointless.

She lifted her head from her hands when she heard her door open. Immediately, she straightened her back and pursed her lips at the intruder.

“Go away.”

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

It'd been a while since Lucy could recall seeing the Brit around her dorm. The few times they actually ran into each other were devoid of any reaction at all, snarky or otherwise. It was like she was completely off the other girl's radar.

And honestly, she didn't know why.

So fuck it, she thought as she opted to take a page out of the Brit's book. She'd come barging into Lucy's quarters when she needed something. When she had questions that demanded answers. So why couldn't she return the favour? The door to the common area had at least been unlocked, so that was an easy hurdle to get past.

But knocking on Penny's door wasn't doing anything. She wondered why she bothered knocking here if she didn't bother knocking on the other door.

Eventually she realised it wasn't locked either, so she just opened the door and stood there. Sure enough, she was home. Because where else would she be? That was a mean thought. But that didn't matter. Lucy's eyes narrowed on the girl when she told her to go away.

"No." She replied, talking a few steps in and pulling the door to slam shut behind her.

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

Apparently Penny wasn’t the only one irritated.

Penelope winced as the door slammed. She did not want to deal with this, but it didn’t seem like Lucy was going to leave her be. She remained sitting and crossed a leg over the other, adjusting her pajama shorts as she did so.

“Do you have to slam the door?” The irritation in her voice was clear, and Penelope paused a moment before deciding to stand. She crossed her arms over her chest as she looked at Lucy, one eyebrow raised.

Why was she angry?

The fact that the Australian was angry only added to Penny’s own annoyance. Why on earth did she think she have the right to barge into her room and then be angered with Penny? Did she forget the conversation that took place between them?

“What do you want?”

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

Lucy shrugged her shoulders, not even bothering to glance back at the door. So this was what it felt like to be ignored. It was bitter - it muddled her senses and clouded every aspect of her personality around the girl with a veil of anger. In short, she didn't like it. "Maybe."

Maybe not. It didn't seem to make her look at her. She still hadn't.

She hadn't then, and she wasn't now.

Crossing the distance between them, the eldest Serrano showed no fear. She didn't feel stuck and stagnant on the other side of the room. She was going to be pulled in by her magnetism - enraged or not - and use it to get her point across.

"You." Lucy replied boldly, her eyebrows raising. The frustration she'd been harbouring was evident, even in the singular word. "But you're not there any more."

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

Penelope felt herself tense as Lucy came closer to her. She didn’t want to be so close – even if she was angry, proximity was a problem when it came down to Lucy. She kept a careful eye on the Australian, making sure she didn’t get too close.

Her eyebrows rose at the answer, and the Brit couldn’t help but to let out an exasperated laugh. “Really?” Regardless, the words made her chest tighten, and Penny tried to convince herself that it was out of anger more than anything else.

Penelope took a step back, and felt her desk behind her. She couldn’t get away.

“What did you expect?” Penelope questioned honestly. She searched Lucy’s expression for any sign that might have explained what was going on between them. She was tired of guessing. "Do you honestly think you can just say that and expect me to go crawling back into your arms?"

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

Lucy was ridiculously oblivious to the issue at hand here. When Penny laughed at her, she felt her lips press into a hardened line. It was a dangerous path - to feel like she was putting herself out there just to be mocked. It was insulting.

She didn't answer the question. It was clearly rhetorical.

The Australian knew she could have easily taken the upper hand if she wanted it. She could have stepped forward like she had once before and secured the Brit between herself and the desk. Lucy herself knew how important it was to keep people from being able to run. To avoid her.

But she was blind to any real logic. Unable to pin down a decent, rational thought.

The only emotion devoid of induced rage her eyes were offering was confusion. She was missing something, and that just made her angrier. "What the fuck are you talking about?" She asked instead, allowing a sliver of that confusion to pierce each syllable.

"I haven't seen you in days." Not properly. She couldn't remember the last time they'd really talked.

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

Penelope blinked a few times, confusion settling in on her own features as she stared back at the Serrano. Lucy really had no idea why she was upset, but that only made matters worse.

“You ignorant—“ Penelope turned her head away, holding biting her tongue before she fully cursed out the girl. She let out a sigh, trying to start again. “There’s a reason you haven’t.”

She paused, wondering when (or if) Lucy would realize. Yet Penelope couldn’t remain silent for long; the fact that Lucy was oblivious was angering in itself, and Penelope felt a need to make it very clear why she was angry.

“Maybe you were too busy sleeping around with someone you didn’t hate.” She finally said, her voice low, almost cracking as the words came out.

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

"Yeah, I figured that much out." Lucy retorted sharply. She wouldn't have come chasing after her if she didn't know there was a reason for the distance.

The silence was irritating. More irritating than being called ignorant. More irritating than the way Penny looked at her without really looking at her. Her mind dragged her back to different times - the difference in her stature when they were alone. The softer tones to her intoxicating voice. The light behind her dark eyes. The way, when words failed her, she'd smile the way she did.

"You-" Lucy started, the harsh quality of her words jolting her back to reality. The reality of this; cold stares and distance without reason.

Slowly, she started shaking her head. "No."

A flicker of resentment shadowed her dark eyes. She took a step forward and reached out towards her. But she retracted before she could make contact.

"I didn't-" It was worthless if she said she didn't mean it. If it wasn't already obvious, the words would just fall on an uncaring mentality. "I don't hate you."

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

Penelope pressed herself further against the desk, feeling the need to distance herself more now that everything was out in the open. She couldn’t touch Lucy. Forgive her. She wanted to be angry with her. The girl wouldn’t be able to just flash that stupid smile and make everything okay again.

It wasn’t that simple.

In truth, Penelope wasn’t suspecting that Lucy was sleeping with anyone else, so the answer didn’t surprise her. Had Penelope been able to back up further, she would had the moment Lucy reached out. She was thankful the Australian pulled her hand away.

Penelope watched Lucy expectantly as she tried to explain. She raised her eyebrows as Lucy started, expecting her to say that she didn’t mean it, but Penelope was surprised hear Lucy stop mid sentence, and instead settling for a different choice of words.

“No. You just hate yourself for it.” Penelope closed her eyes those exact words ran through her head yet again. It was like a broken record in her mind.

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

There was something about this girl - when she found herself in these difficult situations, she didn't know what to say. She didn't think there was a point in saying that she didn't mean it.

Lucy couldn't recall another time where Penny had tried to avoid her so intently. It made her question herself. Her place in all this. Usually she could fix the idle things she did wrong by playing it off. But the way she backed away, even when she knew she had no where to go. She'd seen this kind of thing before.

It was like she was afraid of her.

"You really think I'd mean that about you." Lucy denoted. She didn't bother asked it as a question. Without hearing a response, she was already backing away, running her hand over her heavily tattooed arm.

This was why these things didn't work.

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

“Stop doing that.” Penelope called out after her, finally pushing herself off the desk just so she could follow Lucy. She had the urge to reach out and grab Lucy in order to make her stay, but she still made a conscious effort to keep her distance and decided against it.

However, there was no way she was letting Lucy walk away. It was amazing how quickly Lucy managed to change Penny’s feelings. Only second ago Penny wanted nothing to do with her, and now she was determined to make her stay.

Now that Lucy was aware of the situation, Penelope wanted an explanation or something of the sort. She wasn’t quite sure.

“Stop acting like you know what I’m thinking or feeling.” She hated when people assumed anything about her, especially Lucy. Whenever it happened, Penelope felt a need to make herself clear. She couldn’t help but to direct; she had no other choice.

“I trust you, you idiot.” Penelope snapped out, “If I weren’t to believe what you say, what was the point in me saying that I did? I can’t follow along with these imprudent games.”

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

Once her mind started turning, it was something of an unstoppable force. Lucy made assumptions - yes - but they were so rarely wrong. She knew when to trust herself. She was done with this situation. Done with trying.

But she realised quickly that she was being followed. So before she could reach the door, she stopped herself. Or perhaps the fact that she was being followed was what stopped her.

Her jaw tensed when she was blatantly told off for her assumptions. But at what point were they proven wrong?

She wanted to laugh at the concept of being trusted. She didn't believe it.

Her words were confusing to the Australian. She was struggling to follow the train of thought - the new found path they were on. "If you don't believe it, why are we even here? Why are you avoiding me? Why can't you look at me?"

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

Penelope sighed, trying to follow along with the conversation as well. She was confusing herself, and Lucy’s response wasn’t helping either. She closed her eyes briefly, trying to organize her thoughts in a way that would actually come out correctly.

“I—“ Penelope groaned before she could get a sentence out. Why did things have to be so hard with this girl? “Because regardless of it you meant it or if I believed it, it still hurt!” She replied, her voice rising with her frustration.

She brought a hand up to her temple, rubbing the area slightly with her middle finger. “I’m angry.” She added shortly, “And if I look at you, I’ll forgive you because you have that stupid thing that you do that just—ugh.” She didn’t know how to word it.

“I don’t want to forgive you yet!” she all but yelled.

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

Lucy looked genuinely confused at her. It didn't make sense. How could she know something was false but feel hurt by it anyway? Did she forget the way she'd treated the Australian in the same very altercation?

How was it that she kept hurting this girl, even when she made no motion to do so?

The eldest Serrano felt her fingers curl into her hands, requiring some kind of outlet for the way this was building. She wanted to throw something. Or break something. She tore her gaze away because it was necessary, her dark eyes falling on the idle pots of paint on the ground. A shade of white. Her eyes widened for a split second before narrowing back on her.

She couldn't offer forgiveness. No, she didn't want to.

"I don't care if you forgive me!" Lucy shouted back at her. She lost the means to control the level of her voice. She felt her breathing get heavy, her senses numbing; her blood burning white hot; "Don't ever look at me like you hate me!"

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

Penelope followed Lucy’s gaze to the paint cans, and she pursed her lips as she stared at them. She couldn’t take back how she was so angry that she stormed to the art department and got them with every intention of covering up every square inch of colorful paint in her room. And she didn’t want to, even if she could.

As Lucy shouted, Penelope’s eyes snapped back up to the Serrano. The statement confused her even more so than she was already. “Well, I do care if I do!” she retorted, almost just for the sake of yelling back at her.

Penelope had opened her mouth to continue, but she fell silent at Lucy’s final comment, or rather, it was a demand. Her own breathing was heavy as she suddenly felt like she had just gone out for a run. Her face was hot with resentment, but not hate.

“I never do! I can’t!”