Time Warp: Porcelain (Kailin)

[Olivia Baker]

Timestamp: June 15, 2015

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It'd been three weeks, five days, and 14 hours since the incident and Olivia hadn't left her bed in a week. She'd had her heart broken before, but this was different, she felt like an entire chunk of her heart was missing and the rest of her was soon to crumble after her. This wasn't heartbreak, it was like death.

His lies ran through her mind like a broken record. "I love you." she swore she heard him say that, she heard him say it a thousand times while she gave herself to him in every way. She'd said the words the back. She meant them though. He didn't. That's why when she woke up he was gone. That's why she hadn't heard from him and when she went to his room it was empty. That's why he wasn't returning her calls, he wasn't responding her online, to her texts, making her feel like a waste. Because he lied. He hadn't loved her, he didn't love her, and she was a fool. Wherever he was he was probably laughing at what a stupid girl she was.

She hugged herself closer to the toilet bowel. She could feel her stomach turning again, ready to hurl the breakfast she'd consumed earlier into the water like the rest of her food had gone. Her entire body was in rebellion. Her heart, her head, her stomach, and her ovaries which had decided to play the nasty game of holding out. She was a week late and in too much denial to go through with the pee sticks she'd acquired days ago and shoved to the back of the bathroom cabinet.

A knock on the door made her perk up. Wiping the sick from the corners of her mouth, and tugging the blanket tighter around her shoulders she opened the door to see Kailin.

[Kailin Bishop]

A Week. The blonde-turned-brunette hadn't heard from her best friend for a week. Texts were sent, calls were made, but nothing had been enough to reach the natural brunette who had just recently had her heart broken. Kailin held disappointment in her heart, but never a heartbreak with someone who she thought loved her and ended up not doing so. She'd never be able to understand until that happened, which honestly, she really wished she never would have to find out.

Either way, Kailin was not going to allow this beautiful girl to wallow and potentially kill herself due to that broken heart. If it were the last thing she did, the blue-eyed girl would take Liv out to the lake and just relax. She shoved a few chocolate bars and some drinks, and she was off to the apartment that she had viewed with Liv some few weeks ago. It was a gracious graduation gift on part of her parents, but somehow she wished this encounter would happen in the dorms of Hammel. It'd be far easier that way. Getting in her Black Nissan Altima, she drove off in the direction of Downtown Pilot Ridge.

Finding the apartment wasn't difficult as Kales had a very good memory. It was a few turns once on the main street of Downtown Pilot Ridge, and the girl was pulling up to the apartment complex that she had seen Liv so happy the last time she was there. That was before Reece left her, when she felt she had no care in the world.

When arriving at the designated apartment number, Kailin knocked, and was quickly greeted by the sight of her best friend tightly wrapped in a blanket, her eyes lacking life and warmth that had drawn Kailin in the first place, and her hair in a disheveled mess. Kailin began to wonder when the last time the girl had showered, but that didn't matter now. What mattered was that girl obviously needed some sort of love, and Kailin was definitely ready to provide it.

"Oh, Liv," Kailin mumbled, immediately pulling the girl into a gentle embrace in the middle of the doorway. It lasted a short moment, because she realized they were standing in the public eye, and even though nobody was around, she knew that Liv wouldn't appreciate being seen in such a way. Kailin stepped through the doorway and allowed the wood to close behind her.

"Liv, did he call you?" She asked quietly, pulling at strings for an idea as to why she would ignore the world for a solid week. Even still, she found that hard to believe.

[Olivia Baker]

She must have looked worse than she thought given Kailin's reaction to her. "Your hair looks nice." She squeaked as her best friend pulled her into her into a much needed hug. She closed her eyes for a moment taking it in, she needed it. 

The question stung and she pressed her lips tight together and shook her head. "He isn't going to." She said flatly. It felt like he didn't even exist, like he was someone she'd made up in her head and the past couple years of cat and mouse were all her own delusions. Maybe he was just someone made up for her by some sick illusion ability fuck.... wouldn't that be something? THe ultimate prank? The ultimate catfish... wait Kailin had illusions. No. That was stupid... She almost wished it wasn't, Reece being an illusion all together would be easier to accept than the fact that she'd been played harder than she ever thought imaginable. That every moment, every memory she had was part of some bigger plan to absolutely ruin her. Her throat felt swollen and she closed her eyes taking in a breath. She didn't want to cry anymore, her eyes stung so badly and were so red and her entire body just felt sick. 

"Sorry for the apartment." She said stepping aside to let Kailin in. The apartment was in a pitiful state. She hadn't unpacked anything except a few pieces of clothing and the flu supplies she'd picked up from the drug store. She hadn't managed to throw anything out either, there was a fair amount of garbage littered on the floor. 

She could feel her stomach starting to turn again, her hands immediately going down to comfort it. "Sorry on top of all of this I'm sick...." She told her,  "i've been sick on and off for the past week.... it's gross... I"m sorry. I'm pathetic." She actually did feel sorry for Kailin. She didn't want her to have to fix all this. It wasn't fair. "When did you dye your hair?"

[Kailin Bishop]

Kailin pursed her lips at her answer to her question, the life that was already void sunk deeper into the girl she saw before her. Farther into her mind, where there was nothing but darkness and pain. Just from the look in Liv's eyes, Kailin could see how badly the young girl hurt. The newly-turned brunette didn't know what exactly they did together, but if it were just simply making out, Kailin doubted she would be this hurt.

"Don't worry, I have 12 other siblings. I've seen a disaster. This is just neglected. Nothing we can't fix." Kailin said as she picked up several articles of trash off the floor, searching for the trash can and throwing it away once found. She listened to the apologies, realizing then that the sickness might have been why she didn't really call or anything. But for a week?

"Have you seen a doctor yet? A week is a really long time to be sick like this." Kailin turned and headed in the direction of her friend, resting her hands on her shoulders. She observed the bags under the girl's eyes, and the way she clenched her stomach. No assumptions were made then, but by the end, she might have answers.

"It was a graduation gift from the parents, along with my car. I'm glad you like it. It's weird, but refreshing."

[Olivia Baker]

Seeing Kailin picking up after her only made Olivia feel worse. "No.... I haven't seen a doctor." She said as she went to help the bl brunette with the mess. She shouldn't have let it get this bad, it wasn't fair to her friend. She was sure that Kailin had her own things going on in her life and she'd been shitty for not texting, calling, or contacting her at all... in fact she'd pretty much ignored her. 

"I've got it Kail, you really don't have to." She insisted as she started to fill up a garbage bag. The one up side to her not unpacking was pretty much everything in sight was garbage in some way. 

Wait.. she got a new car. "You got the car?" She lit up, she'd known that Kail had her eye on a specific model even if she was too modest to ask for it. "Oh my god I've missed everything!" She groaned. "I seriously have sucked the past month...." She sighed as she grabbed the new brunette and pulled her into a grimey hug. "I promise I'll stop being so shitty." She'd much rather focus on this topic then pressing issues. She knew that her and Kailin were fine, and that Kail of all people understood and knew that this was so out of Liv's character and the disappearing act was unintentional...  "What else have I missed?" She asked "I mean you're a brunette now... does it feel different? Do you feel smarter?" She jested as she picked up a plastic bag from the drug store containing breath mints and a pregnancy test. How many of these had she bought?

She quickly glanced up at Kail to see if she'd seen the contents before b-lining to the bathroom to shove the bag under the sink. She wasn't sure if she'd caught a glimpse or not, but either way wouldn't invite unwanted questioning about a topic she wasn't sure she wanted to know more about preferring to act under the "if i ignore it it doesn't exist principal." Of course she wasn't positive either way... and she'd missed her period before.... She'd taken a pregnancy test before too... hell she'd taken one as a virgin when she skipped and convinced herself she was the next Mary and pregnant with the savior... this was different though. Her fears were paralyzing and just the reminder sent her heaving over the toilet. 

[Kailin Bishop]

The questions directed to her were obviously a distraction to the real problem at hand, but the girl didn't press for anymore information. If whatever had happened was as bad as Liv thought it was to ignore her for the past few weeks, well something must have happened.

"Both were graduation gifts. The hair and car, I mean." She had her eye on the Altima for quite some time, but had to make due with just borrowing her elder sibling's car. Kailin didn't mind, but when she saw the car parked out in the driveway a few days after graduation, Kailin couldn't have been happier.

Liv pulled her into a hug, and the brunette peeled herself away. "You can always make it up to me by taking a shower and watching a crap ton of law and order with me?" It was the best way to tell her that the girl was in desperate need of one. Not just because the fact that it was blatantly obvious the girl hadn't showered for some time, but because it would probably relax her a bit. But then Liv picked up a bag, and she could briefly see a small box with... was that a pregnancy test on it?

No sooner had she seen the box when Liv ran away to the bathroom, and she could hear the poor girl retching over the toilet. Something was going on, Kailin knew that much. And with the sickness and the pregnancy test mixed with a recent breakup, Kales had a clue what might be going on.

She lent a comforting hand to the girl who gripped the toilet, rubbing her back and whispering kind words to her.

"Liv, you need to relax a bit. Shower. But afterwards you need to tell me what's going on. You're my best friend, and I can't just sit here and watch you like this."

[Olivia Baker]

Liv nodded and turned on the shower after she asked for the second time. Kail was right though, she needed to take care of herself, it'd make her feel better and smell better too which was a priority. She wasn't sure how she'd lost track of time for such basic things like hygiene, but there it was.

"We can watch Law and Order after." She nodded as she started to peel off the clothing that had become a second skin, not minding if her friend was still in there as modesty had gone out the window a long time ago. The rest of what Kailin said didn't fall on deaf ears, but the brunette wasn't sure if she could talk about it... or what "it" was yet. Her brain also hadn't had a rational thought in about a week at least but having Kailin there was helping, she felt like she had a pulse again. 

As per request, Liv climbed into the shower, allowing the water to pound over her for several minutes before she could bring herself to start to do anything about the actual filth. In some way, Liv had hoped the shower would bring relief, that the vanilla scented soup would wash away the reality she'd been given, and the bubbles would take it with them down the drain into the unknown. When Liv finished with her body and hair and shut the water she was disappointed to find that wasn't the case. In some ways she did feel better, she was thinking clearer, but that made everything else worse entirely. The mask of other problems was starting to deteriorate and she knew it wouldn't be long before she had to stare her biggest fear in the face, with nothing left to hide behind. 

"Better?" She asked Kails as she wrapped a plush yellow towel around her body. 
 

[Kailin Bishop]

Kailin wasn't bothered that Liv peeled her clothes off in front of Kailin, being that she had several sisters, and for the first ten years of her life, she insisted on showering with her eldest because she was afraid she'd drown without her. Plus, a body was just a body. It wasn't as if it were something that she hadn't seen before. Kailin had the same 'goods' as any other female, though her's, she had to admit, were more prominent than Liv's.

"I brought drinks and Chocolate too, so we have all the necessities." Kailin told the girl as she set the toilet cover down and sat on the 'porcelain throne' while her friend showered. In this state, Liv could simply collapse from a heart break, and if that were to happen, Kailin wanted to be there.

Luckily nothing went wrong, and the girl came out, wrapping a yellow towel around her body. "Much better. You now smell as good as the chocolate in my bag." The brunette teased. Though her eyes still registered as defeated, Kales could see Liv’s posture was more erect and more confident, if only by a small amount.

“Now let’s go see what you have in your closet,” The brunette opened the door for her friend, waiting for her to lead the way to her bedroom.

[Olivia Baker]

"Chocolate." Liv smiled. "You know the door to my heart." She chuckled thinking back to how they really became friends in the first place, candy. Apparently the candy store was the best place to start a relationship, made sense considering it had Kailin and chocolate together... her two biggest loves of the moment.

"Not a lot." She admitted with a shrug, "I honestly haven't unpacked much.. I've been living in the same few pairs of sweats." The bedroom, like the rest of the apartment was a mess, but less so than the living area. A big box was open in the middle of the room full of clothes, a pair of dark washed jeans hanging half out that Liv grabbed and slipped on. "Uhg." She groaned as she sucked in to button them. "Apparently the poor me diet isn't doing me much good." Finally she managed to button the top and relaxed slightly before grabbing a bra. 

Liv glanced over at Kails. "Have you talked to Anthony lately?" She asked not even sure if they were still a thing. She always liked the idea of them together... they seemed made for eachother and at least that was a potentially happy subject... or the opposite... this could go either way. 

[Kailin Bishop]

"Always have, honey." Kailin wrapped an arm around the girl as she lead her out to the bedroom. Boxes were everywhere, Olivia had warned her, and as Kailin looked around, she could see just how true that really was. At least it wasn't dusty, right? The brunette shuddered at the thought.

"Yeah, I think for now on, Fridays will be your healthy meal days. You know, cooked by me. I may be the bringer of chocolate, but I can just as easily be the bringer of broccoli and spinach." Those were the only two vegetables she was willing to eat, anything else? Ew. But Liv didn't need to know that.

And then she brought up Anthony, which honestly wasn't a difficult topic for her to speak of, but Liv had just gotten her heart broken. It wasn't the best thing to bring up. But either way, if she wanted to know, Kailin wouldn't brush off the question like an ass. "It's kind of tough with him being in the Air Force, but we're making it work. At least he's still stationed here in Vermont."

Truth be told, she missed him a lot. Kailin was so accustomed to him being around whenever she needed, so when he graduated, the limited access was very difficult on her.

[Olivia Baker]

Liv's nose wrinkled when Kail's mentioned vegetables. The healthy bug was never something Liv had caught. Tristan had been trying for years now to get his sister to eat a vegetable or worse, drink a "green juice" to no avail. She was a lost cause. She was a TLC special waiting in a slim 18 year old body. 

"thanks" She said, "Any Kailin time even if it's around food we'll end up pitching to order a pizza sounds perfect to me." Though if Kails cooked she'd honestly scarf it down even if she hated it because she loved the bl- brunette. 

Liv nodded as she spoke of Anthony and her heart panged. "I"m glad." she managed trying her best not to make Kails feel bad for being happy. She wanted her to be happy. She just... she wished that one day someone would look at her the way Anthony had always looked at Kailin. There was never a doubt that he liked anyone but her, never a look at another girl, never a fear that even if she hurt him it'd be worth it because it was her. It was special. 

She pulled out of Kail's arms to go for a pair of jeans and a white v-neck. "I feel a lot better." She said honestly though her insides still felt like rotting, at least she wasn't crying. At least she wasn't thinking of what's his name... the asshole who had stepped on her heart and reminded her just how useless she was. Just how much of a pity everything had been. She bet he told her he loved her because he pittied her... not because he did. What a nobleman to take on such a charity case. 

"Kail's." She squeaked as she started to feel ready to talk a little. "Do you think... I'll feel better ever? And don't just say yes because you're supposed to... because right now I feel like such shit." She admitted looking up at her. "I just feel so stupid and embarrassed... and sick. God I haven't stopped throwing up in what feels like forever..." among other things. "I'm scared." 

[Kailin Bishop]

Kailin laughed softly at Liv's response to her healthy eating ideas. Of course, they probably would end up getting a pizza with peppers and such and call that 'Healthy Eating'. The faux brunette absolutely adored eating healthy... just not with cooked vegetables. Now give her fruits and salads and such, and she'd be content. Especially Gala or Fuji apples. Her mouth watered just at the thought.

However, the mentioning of Anthony made Liv's attitude shift back to the way it was before. She could tell, just by the way her posture went from relaxed to stiff in a matter of seconds. Reece really screwed her best friend over. The asshole. The pretentious asshole.

"Everything get's better with time, Liv." It was true, she realized. Every feeling faded once you found something else to focus on. When your mind was completely occupied, you could afford to switch gears. It was just finding that thing that could avert your attention.

"It's going to hurt, yes. You loved him, that much was obvious, but in the end, life will continue to move. And you, no matter how bad life may seem, have to know that there are always things to look forward to in the next day. It's going to be hard. But Liv, you'll get through it. And I'll be here every day that you need me."

She held her best friend then, "You'll live. You'll learn to be happy again. Your life has only just started, Liv."

[Olivia Baker]

Liv nodded as she listened to Kailin but the embarrassment just didn't want to go away. "Yeah but I should have known better." she said as she took a seat on the bed. "I should have fucking known... i mean this wasn't the first time he seriously fucked with me. I just don't know why after all these fucking years why I let myself be so stupid again..." She sighed as she pushed a tear away from her eyes. She was so sick of crying. She was done crying over a boy who's favorite game was stab Liv in the heart. What an asshole. She hated him. She hated him so much. "I just... I wanted him to love me so badly that when he said it i was so ready to believe him... so ready to think that maybe he had all this time like I loved him but... I'm just stupid.... Of course this was a game to him just like everything else..." 

Kail's words made Liv's heart wretch. "The worst part is I don't know if that's true... I don't know if my life can go back to normal" She said as her mind went back to the plastic in the bathroom. "Kails..." She took a deep breath, she knew she had to tell someone. "Kails... I haven't gotten my period." Liv said looking up at her friend. 

[Kailin Bishop]

"Because you believed him. No, that doesn't make you naive. You've been guarded for so many years, and you thought you found someone who wouldn't hurt you, so you took a chance. It was a mistake, but you took that chance. You can't live your life behind wooden walls, Liv. You have to open yourself up to risks." But what was to come next wouldn't be something that Kailin would have wanted to hear. Because that is exactly what risks could entail, especially when it came to sex. But she didn't realize that they hadn't used protection like they should have, like they learned for several years that they should have.

"What do you--" Kales started, but wasn't able to finish. Because she admitted the fact that she may have missed her period. Oh god. Oh god. Oh. God. "Liv...could you just be late?" The brunette stood there, looking at the girl with wide eyes. If she really had missed her period, that was not something that can just be changed, much like she said.

"Liv, you didn't use protection, did you?"

Obviously she hadn't, but she really wished, for Liv's sake, that the answer was 'Yes, I did.'

[Olivia Baker]

Liv shook her head as her eyes found their way to the ground. "No." She knew it was stupid. She knew that she should have. But she hadn't planned to have sex with him. And she hadn't planned to fall for him again. And she hadn't planned for him to say he loved her. And she'd been too afraid to say no because she knew that she might not get another chance. And for some stupid reason. Some dumb reason that in the moment felt so justified somewhere in her mind she thought that if she gave him herself... he'd stay. 

"It could be late... or just missed." She knew it wasn't. She hated Reece. She hated him so much that her entire body hurt. He took everything. He took her heart. He took her body. He took her virginity. And now he was going to take the rest of her life and not even think of her once. 

"I bought pregnancy tests... I've honestly been too afraid to actually use them" She said as she wiped away a stray tear. She didn't want to face it alone. She didn't want to look down at that stupid piece of plastic and see the one word that she couldn't handle. She didn't want to be the one to read it. She didn't want to be alone on the bathroom floor trying to figure out what happened next. SHe didn't want to tell her family. She didn't want any of it. 

"I hate him so much Kails." she said as the tears flowed. "I hate him. I want him to die. I want something so bad to happen to him because all of this is because of him.... I gave him so much and he doesn't care."