Flavor of the Weak

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

Note: Takes place immediately after this.

She sucked in a shaking breath as she quickly exited the library, but she was unable to feel the air fill her lungs. It only caused her to take in even more air. Still nothing. It wasn't a particularly long walk from the library to the dormitories, but Penny couldn't help but to think it was taking longer than normal.

She pushed through the doorway, and she connected with it she felt herself get lost. Again.

She felt the door as it was pushed open, but with unfamiliar hands. She felt a laugh escape lips that weren't her's. Something was funny. The hand reached out, taking hold of the railing of the stairs. She felt the cool metal as their fingers wrapped around it.

But she couldn't feel it as her own fingers touched it.

Penny jerked her hand away from the railing as she all but ran up the steps. This couldn't be happening, but it was.

She heard her steps as she made her way towards the familiar dormitory. Her dormitory. When she reached the door, Penny exhaled sharply. Hands shaking as she grabbed the handle, twisting it.

Penny felt the handle as Dani grabbed it. She felt the cell phone in her other hand. The thumb hitting the touch screen as she texted her father about a DJ system.

Again, she didn't feel the handle with her own hand, but someone else's. The psychometrist felt the anxiety build up even more. Her breathing became more and more shallow as she went straight to the familiar room.

Normally, she would have knocked. Penny always knocked. This time, however, she pushed open the door as quickly as possible, trying her best to connect with it as little as possible.

This time it was Lucy, closing the door behind her as she left her room. Heading to see Penny herself.

The moment she caught sight of Lucy, Penny made her way over to her, reaching out and taking hold of the Australian's hand.

But she couldn't feel it.

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

For Lucy, it was just another day. She was sitting in her room at her computer, scrolling through the list of games she'd bought but still hadn't bothered to play yet. Thankfully, it was a dwindling list, but choosing something to play with no real preference was difficult. She was waiting for something worthwhile to jump out at her.

Something did, just not on the screen.

Surprise coloured the Australian's features when she realised that someone was that girl. She hadn't knocked. She always knocked. "Hey," She started, but she didn't manage to finish.

Truthfully, the first thing Lucy noticed was how out of it she seemed. She lowered her eyebrows when, without a word, Penny breached the distance between them and reached for her hand. She offered it willingly, of course. Because why wouldn't she? "Wha-"

But the expression she got wasn't what she expected. She'd never seen a look like that before. Not from her. Lucy felt the rare sense of concern overwhelm her. She wasn't the type to panic, really. But she always struggled with dealing with things she didn't understand. This was new. She had no point of reference. She wasn't ever like this.

Pulling herself to her feet, she briefly glanced at the hand the psychometrist held before she worked to catch her eyes again.

"What?" Lucy asked. It was the only word she could think of.

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

Penny looked down at their hands; she sucked in another sharp breath as she squeezed the ink manipulator's hand within her own. She could see she was touching her, and the gears in her mind worked as she tried to will herself to feel it. Still, nothing.

Her eyes shut tightly as she tried to calm herself. It was fine. It would be fine. Another breath. She opened her eyes, finally looking up at Lucy. Her dark eyes met with the Australian's; Penny was normally one hide emotions behind a neutral expression. Yet, even as she tried, her anxiety clearly showed in her features as she looked back at Lucy.

“I--” her chest tightened. As much as she wanted to offer clarity, the Brit had trouble verbalizing it. Somehow, if she said it, it was a form of accepting that it was happening. That it might stay like this.

“Fuck.” Penny felt like she was going to be sick; her stomach twisted as she took in another shallow breath. It was becoming increasingly harder to breathe, even if she couldn't feel it. She intertwined their fingers. If she wanted to feel anything again, she wanted to feel her.

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

When Lucy managed to catch her eyes, she practically felt the anxiety she seemed to unknowingly offer. It was damn near palpable. Lucy knew what it felt like to be surrounded in anxiousness. She knew how it looked. How a person wore that stress. It hadn't been that long ago that she lost herself to such induced panic, but she doubted such a thing was happening before her now.

Until she heard that word from her mouth.

She'd heard it once before, but that was distant. This was... It felt real.

Immediately, Lucy felt her own pulse shift. Her heart beat erratically quicken, all because of her. But it was strange - unsettling. This wasn't how she normally made the ink manipulator's heart race.

"What? What is it?" When Penny laced their fingers together, Lucy reciprocated the act without missing a beat. It was normal. Standard for them. But it didn't make her features soften like it normally would. Lucy squeezed her hand.

Nothing. Not a single movement from her face.

"What the hell happened?" She tried again, offering uncontrollable force to the phrase, despite the fact that her better judgement told her she shouldn't. She was supposed to be calm, right? "You look-" Lucy stopped herself quickly. She didn't even know how to finish that. She didn't have the right words. So instead, the Australian raised her free hand and pressed it gently to her cheek, her thumb breezing across her cheekbone lightly. There was distress. That much she knew, and she could process. She could see that her counterpart was shaken.

But that was all she had to work with.

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

Had Penny seen Lucy squeeze her hand, she might have reacted in a way. She didn’t feel the pressure of her counterpart’s fingers tightening around her own, she hadn’t even been aware that Lucy had done so.

Penelope knew that she wasn’t making sense. That she wasn’t explaining anything to the Australian, and by doing so she was only making Lucy worry. She wanted desperately to be able to, especially as she heard the concern in Lucy’s tone.

“I can’t—“ She opened her mouth, but when she tried to speak only another shaking breath came out. It felt impossible for the Brit to explain, let alone handle the situation at hand.

She could feel the panic taking over.

Her muscles in her cheek twitched Lucy’s hand pressed to her cheek. Immediately, her eyes snapped open. It was barely there, but she felt it. The familiar feeling of her thumb running over her cheekbone. Her free hand reached up, fingers lightly curling around Lucy’s wrist. She couldn’t feel her fingers, but she felt the Australian’s touch on her cheek. It was something.

“Thank God.” She still offered no explanation, but this time because she was letting the feeling of Lucy’s hand on her skin wash over her. She sucked in a long breath, closing her eyes again as she tilted her head, brining her lips to Lucy’s palm – feeling her lips brush against it – before leaning into the hand. “Oh thank you. Thank you.”

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

The beginning of an explanation caused Lucy's eyebrows to raise with anticipation, like she expected to finally get the answer she was looking for. But the rest of her statement fell on a breath. Her eyebrows twitched. She didn't want to be frustrated with her. She couldn't be, and she understood that.

Just when she thought all hope was lost, she watched Penny's eyes immediately open, a distant stare looking back at her. A realisation? But it didn't seem as settled as Lucy would imagine that would be. Even as the psychometrist circled her fingers around the ink manipulator's wrist, her gaze didn't waver. It couldn't.

Lucy felt the incredibly new sense of unexplained relief, but she did her best to ignore it. Her jaw dropped slightly when she felt familiar lips brush against her palm. It didn't make sense. The panic. The unsettling relief.

She shifted her gaze from her eyes to her mouth instinctively. Amidst the surge of panic and anxiety, she knew she wanted to be reassuring. There were so few ways she knew how to do that.

"You can't tell me." Lucy said finally, definitely as she looked back to her eyes. For someone who needed to know everything, she couldn't register why she felt she could understand that. Why she was residing to this fact. "That's okay. Just-" She paused briefly, feeling the way she was about to trip over her words. That never happened to her; "You're not okay."

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

Penelope had almost forgotten she had yet to explain anything to her counterpart; she was caught up in the feeling of Lucy's hand against her skin. She kept her eyes closed, doing her best to take in every detail of the feeling. The sensation did wonders for her anxiety as she felt herself slowly starting to calm down.

It wasn't instant, of course. It always took time to come back down from such self-induced panic, but her breath began to slow. She took in a long breath, finally feeling the air fill her lungs. Calming herself was the key, as the girl in the library had told her. Of course, calming down was easier said than done, and the Brit usually found it hard to do so in normal stressful situations, let alone in the one that she had found herself in.

When Lucy spoke, she opened her eyes, but kept her face half hidden in the palm of her counterpart's hand. Right. She should explain. Her thumb ran across Lucy's wrist gently as she started to get the feeling back in it, a light sigh escaping her lips. It really was going to be okay.

Before she could respond, Lucy spoke again, and Penny felt herself involuntarily smile against the Australian's palm. Even as the sense started to return to her body, the idea of trying to explain it felt impossible. It wasn't lost on her that Lucy cut herself off, almost stumbling over her sentence. Penny squeezed her hand lightly; she was concerned. Her hand slowly drew away from the ink manipulator's wrist, fingers lightly tracing along the line of Lucy's jaw. “I will be. You're here.”

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

Lucy practically felt the way in which she was calming down. It was like a weighted pressure was rising from her shoulders. Like stepping back from the proverbial edge; the precipice of an impending panic attack.

Her breathing slowed in time, evening out the way it did when she was still. Stagnant in a moment of time. Lucy kept her hand pressed against her cheek, feeling the idle shake of her fingers with each passing second. She would have stayed that way for however long she needed to. However long she needed her to. She felt the familiar curve of her counterpart's mouth against her skin - the act causing her to drop an involuntary breath in relief.

She was smiling.

Once more, her features softened when she felt familiar fingers run the line of her jaw, as if physically working to erase the worry still imprinted on her expression. When the words she spoke hit the ink manipulator, it was her turn to feel the weight. The pull at her conciousness. Her mentality.

"I reckon I've-" She started, but she paused. The phrasing didn't feel right. She allowed herself to move, fingertips breezing across her skin as she curled her hand around Penny's neck lightly. Instinctively; "I've been here for a while."

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

As Lucy let out a sigh, Penny offered another light kiss to her hand. She couldn’t possibly imagine a living in a world where Penny wouldn’t be able to feel her. As the thought crossed her mind, she took in a quick breath, forcing the thought from her mind.

Slowly, her hand withdrew from Lucy’s jaw, trailing down the ink manipulator’s shoulder and side, her fingers taking in as many details as she could with the action. Finally, her hand stopped as it slid to the small of Lucy’s back. Her fingers curled into the fabric of Lucy’s shirt as she pulled the Australian in towards her into an embrace.

Her other hand let go of Lucy’s, pulling away only to bring it around Lucy’s waist , pulling her in as much as she could. “I missed you.” She breathed softly, pressing her chin to Lucy’s shoulder lightly.

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

Affection was not such a rarity between the two. Not any more. But the magnitude within this moment felt different - it seemed as if it carried different connotations. The strength of it wasn't something Lucy could articulate. She had no point of reference. She carried so little information on the subject at hand. What was wrong. Why she was acting so strangely. She just knew she had to exist in that moment. She desperately had to fight the urge to question her further.

It wasn't that hard to do, really. The second those hands started moving across her form, she lost all sense of thought again. But she didn't react - she simply stood until she was drawn forward into an embrace, where she moved willingly.

As she finally moved to circle her arms around the psychometrist's shoulders, she faltered slightly when such words caught her senses. That she missed her. Truly, the phrase felt more jarring than it ever had before. It forced Lucy to stop for a mere moment before she fully drew her in, resting her chin against her shoulder. Her dark eyes turned their gaze to the side. Towards her.

"I didn't go anywhere."

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

It was rare for Penny to open up to anyone, but Lucy was an exception to that rule. Her touch calmed the Brit, and for once she wanted to be be close to someone. Not just someone, but her. As she pulled felt Lucy willingly be pulled inward, Penny couldn't help but to think of how personal it felt. Not only was she physically close to the Australian, but she had let Lucy see a side of her very few had gotten the chance to encounter. She was willingly showing this side of herself to her.

As she felt Lucy start to reciprocate the embrace, Penelope caught onto her hesitation, and she tilted her head to the side slightly, gaze focusing on her counterpart. “I couldn't feel anything.” she said after a few moments. The idea of not being able to feel the Australian had sent panic through her; Penny wasn't used to admitting to such concern, or even feeling it in the first place. Her lips pressed together, forming a hard line as she let out a long breath. She closed her eyes, letting her fingers run up the length of Lucy's arm lightly before continuing.

“I couldn't feel you.”

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

Lucy didn't expect an unprompted explanation. She was working to find the means to be comfortable with a lack of knowledge. A lack of detail. She'd felt the shift within her arms - the way in which Penny turned to look at her, but their eyes couldn't connect. Lucy held her too close for that.

She felt the irritating draw of a strange thought. Or perhaps it was a belief. She wasn't sure she could be much help in a situation like this. She didn't have the reassuring touch others so easily possessed. The most she could do was hold onto her; if for some reason she couldn't feel the Australian before, the fact that she held on so intently was physical proof of the difference. Even if she couldn't feel it, she could know it.

Lifting her face slightly, she tilted her head and pressed her lips into the fabric that covered her shoulder. She didn't know what else to do. She had absolutely nothing to say. So the Australian moved enough to press another kiss; this time to the nape of her neck. To her skin.

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

Fingers trailing upward, she let her hand rest on Lucy’s shoulder, her thumb idly pulling at the collar of her shirt. She hadn’t expected a reply from the ink manipulator, and she honestly was relieved that she didn’t. The nonverbal response given was more expressive than what either of them could have said. As she felt the material of her dress shift on her shoulder, the feeling of familiar lips pressing against it, she closed her eyes, doing her best to commit every detail to memory.

She wanted to remember how it felt. How she felt.

As Lucy’s pressed against her neck, Penny’s fingers curled around the material of Lucy’s shirt. She let out a slow breath, letting the feeling take over her senses. Her touch was more reassuring than what anyone else could have offered. In response, she pressed her own lips lightly to Lucy’s shoulder, her free hand tucking under Lucy’s shirt, letting her fingers graze the ink manipulator’s skin lightly.

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

Lucy felt the way in which the psychometrist took hold of the shirt she wore. She heard the way she did her best to control the motion of her breathing. It was her reactions - simple or not - that kept the Australian well informed. They were what made her so sure she was communicating properly; that whatever had stopped her from feeling was either gone, or going. Either way, she was determined to prove a point.

In return, Lucy did her best to steady her breathing when she felt her hand slip past the line of her shirt, fingertips trailing across her own skin. She could feel it, just as she always could. And given the way Penny was reacting, Lucy was almost certain she could register it too.

But she wanted to be certain. Carry no doubts.

"Can you feel that?" She breathed lightly; quietly against her neck as she pressed her lips down again, marking a definite trail towards the line of her jaw.

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

As Lucy kissed her, Penny couldn't help but to sink her teeth into her lower lip. Her pulse quickened as she felt the Australian's breath waver slightly against her skin. She felt every touch, along with what came with it. The desire for her to keep going; the need to keep feeling her.

Penny had almost missed the question completely, and she sucked in another wavering breath, her nails dragging along Lucy's back. She could feel it. Very much so. Yet, she still paused for a few moments before opening her mouth to answer. Doing so only caused a soft moan to emit from her throat.

She couldn't get the words out, but surely that would have been a sufficient answer.