The Horrors of Aging (Carter)

[Aryana Darcy]

Backtrack Saturday March 8th, 2014

The 8th of March. A day Rya had marked on her calendar, well, her phone calendar, that is. It was the day she had claimed Carter as her own, because his birthday was on Wednesday and she wasn't necessarily sure she'd be able to get a hold of him on that day. Rya wanted to be there when he opened his gift. She also wanted to have a moment where there was just them hanging out and relaxing. It had been such a long time since they had that.

Before actually heading over next door to her friend's room, she decided to go out and get some of the essentials. Popcorn, candies and chocolates, and some classic horror movies to make fun of. Her personal choices might have caused an uproar with most of the movie critics, but the Brit could care less. The Exorcist and The Shining were the first few in the stack. The two wouldn't be able to watch all of them, but that didn't mean she wouldn't want to watch them on her own time.

With the bag of candy on one arm, and the bag of movies in the other, Rya lacked the hands to properly knock on the door, so instead, she kicked the door with her foot instead. The present was still in her room, but once she was settled, she'd go and retrieve it. But for now, Rya stood in the hallway, her white tee and blue jeans providing little insulation for the cool dorm hallways. Her foot kicked the doorway once again.

"Come on, old man. I'll catch up to you at this rate." She bounced up and down. "Open up."

[Carter Chevalier]

Carter's birthday was only a few days away, and truthfully, he wasn't sure what to do about it. The day he shared with his twin brother felt as if it was going to be a little strained - they weren't speaking, but his brother wasn't speaking to his secondary life line either. And he honestly started to feel bad for all but abandoning him in his time of need.

That didn't matter. Not on this day. He could force the thought to the side for now, he was sure. Because this was important.

Hearing an abrupt knock on the door captured his attention, and Carter left the sanctity of his dorm room in order to open it. He likely knew who it was. And if it wasn't for him, well, he honestly would have closed the door in their face.

But he was right. And the sight of her brought a smile to his lips. "You remembered."

[Aryana Darcy]

"Of course I remembered. A chance to tease the elderly while stuffing my face with chocolate is something I wouldn't miss for the world," She matched his smile, glad to see he wasn't scowling. She worried about him, especially with what was occurring with his brother. He may have tried to lead on that he was fine, but the fact was that she could tell that he wasn't. Five years with a person could do that.

She brushed past him and moved towards the kitchenette to place the 'groceries' that she had down on the counter. It was a relief, really. The bags weren't heavy, but she felt restricted. Her hands had to be moving at all times, and when she couldn't use them, well, it made her antsy.

She turned her head to look at him, "So, you have options today, dearest. Popcorn or candy, The Exorcist or The Shining?"

[Carter Chevalier]

Carter responded to her explanation with a short, involuntary laugh. It was rare for the Chevalier to offer any signs of general happiness - particularly in recent times, on his birthday, without his brother - but something about her choice of words dragged such a response from him.

Once she walked inside, Carter closed the door behind her, turning around to watch as she moved through the space.

"Because I'm the birthday boy I get a choice?" He asked, raising his eyebrows at her question with an amused expression on his features. He wasn't entirely sure why, but something about her presence was already pulling him out of the general diminishing attitude he'd been stuck in that day. "I suppose it's rendered as a cop out if I say; whatever you like, dearest."

[Aryana Darcy]

Rya raised a brow at the man, pointing the DVD case in his direction, "Hey, smartass, I work hard to come up with my lines, so don't steal them." It was a rare thing to see the Brit so at ease, especially as of late. But it was a reassuring feeling that she no longer had to deal with what could be known as an 'existential crisis'. She hadn't known what was going on in her life, where it was going, and why everything around her was changing. But she had come to terms with the differences in her life, and it was displayed in her words.

Rya continued to unpack the bags, laying the items on the counter; DVD's in one pile, chocolates in another, and popcorn nearest the microwave. She smiled at her work, but quickly moved about, taking the two movies she offered in the beginning to the birthday boy (or should it be 'man'?). "If it were up to me, I'd choose The Exorcist. But this isn't my day, it's yours."

She knew, because she said those words, he most likely would choose The Exorcist, since he made it blatantly obvious that it was 'her choice'. Rya simply wanted to go to the bed, plop down, and eat some candy, so any slight persuasion was needed. Why she didn't just say 'Yes, this is what we're watching' was because it was his day, and she already had dictated most of the pre-planning. It was his turn to make the choices.

"So Choose."

[Carter Chevalier]

"That's one of your lines? How disappointing." Carter volleyed back. It was impossible for him to ignore how calm and relaxed she seemed in his company; it had the same effect on him. Despite all the controversy he was settled into, he still found himself at ease.

The older twin stood back and let her go to work, busily as she moved. He noticed the smile she wore, and the infectious way it dragged one to his own mouth.

"Your new found willingness to comply is comforting." Carter said, unable to stop his amused exterior from weaving into the words he offered. Stepping forward, the Chevalier pressed his hands to both movie options, glancing down at them with a serious look of intent on his face. Like it was the most imperative choice in the world. Slowly, he slid The Exorcist over towards her, lifting The Shining with his other hand a moment later. "My choice is never your choice." He replied, eyebrows raising once.

[Aryana Darcy]

"Watch it, Chevalier. You may know quite a bit about me, but you have yet realize how hard I can hit." The Brit called over her shoulder, but the laughter placed at the end of the statement softened the intensity of the words.

At his choice, she grabbed the two movies and placed the rejected title back in the bag. "Glad to know that you live to contradict me." The Shining it was, she supposed. Rya very much expected him to choose the Exorcist, but that was a mistake on her part; the blonde was unpredictable, though that was one of the reasons she always found herself coming back.

The Brunette fixed up the rest of the materials needed for the day/night to commence: popcorn and candy were placed in the corresponding bowls, and leftovers were placed in the plastic bags in the corner along side the DVD's.

"Perfect," Rya told herself as she collected the necessary items, handing the disc to the Chevalier. "You start the movie. I need to get something else before we can start."

The gift. God she hoped he liked it; five years of work went into that single book. But she also hoped he wouldn't just laugh at her at the ridiculousness of it all. No, that wasn't Carter. The Brunette took a breath.

"Be back in a moment."

[Carter Chevalier]

"Maybe not," Carter replied with something of a nonchalant shrug in tandem with his tone; "But I do know you can be rough."

He raised his eyebrows at the fact, amused by the words she offered alone. "Isn't that what any and all good relationships are about?" He asked, with every intention of not getting an answer. Really, contradictions were what made her so enthralling in the first place.

The Chevalier leaned against the counter as she moved around. He watched every move she made, unable to stop himself from studying such simple actions. Wondering why. Why she was here. Why she wanted to be here in the first place. It wasn't until she handed him what was necessary that his attention was drawn away.

"Anything you say, dearest." He quipped, feigning such adoration as he did. Still, there on his own, he moved to get the movie started and find a somewhat comfortable place to sit on the couch. There, he found himself waiting, and so he leaned back to stare up at the ceiling idly.

[Aryana Darcy]

The brunette didn't respond to his last comment, choosing to simply ignore it for the sake of her sanity. Already, Rya found that her stomach flipped at the thought of showing him what was within the book, and she couldn't be more frustrated with herself about it.

To be honest, the Hydro just wanted to grab the book, give it to him, and have the movie marathon start; she didn't want the fact that she cared being pressed upon by anyone. It was hard enough to show it originally, so he should understand. Carter always understood. Rya grabbed the book off her bed and moved to return back to the birthday boy.

"Hope you didn't miss me too much," The Hydrokinetic announced, closing the door behind her with a soft click. Her footsteps were quiet, but they were quick, and once she had reached his side, the Brit placed the book on his lap.

"Happy Birthday."

ps: Link has been changed c:

[Carter Chevalier]

Given the amount of things she'd brought already, Carter was surprised she needed to go back in the first place. Still, he sat back and he waited. He took the small amount of time to consider birthdays passed. He wasn't so estranged from Dom, now, but things were still tense. Strained. Even around their birthday, they couldn't really move forward.

But he snapped out of that daze when the door opened again. He turned his head to the side, glancing over at her with a grin when she walked towards her. Whatever it was she had, it looked small. But it must have been important.

So when she settled a book in his lap, he switched his look to a questioning one as he glanced at her. It took a few extra moments before he finally tore his eyes from her and turned his attention to what she'd given him. A book. Slowly, he allowed his hands to run the length of it, taking a little extra time before he opened it and searched through.

"Care to-" He paused briefly, "-Explain?"

There must have been some significance. Because she was nervous. With her, he doubted it would be anything less than important.

[Aryana Darcy]

He didn't see it. Well, of course he didn't see the significance in the photos; some of them didn't even have any significance at all. But if she did speak and tell him the meaning behind every single one, would he leave? No, she told herself, he wouldn't.

The Hydro took a breath.

Her hand reached over to the book and shifted it onto her lap, opening the book carefully and hesitantly. "This is five years worth of birthday gifts I never gave you," She started slowly, running a gentle hand against the shaded page. It brought back memories just looking at these pictures, namely the first. Carter had been barefoot and intrigued, and she was being an amusing asshole that had no clue how to form an insult. Oh how the years changed her.

"The first picture was the drawing I was starting when you first met me. It was what I was drawing when you saw me, dare I say, leading the duck," She gave a sharp exhale that acted as a laugh before continuing. "It started off being stationary, but then I decided otherwise, and it became this. I wanted to give it to you - to show you - for so long, but always held it hidden because I thought you might find it a bit ridiculous. You were my first real friend at Hammel. I didn't want to fuck it up."

Why was she explaining this in such detail? She could have easily have been like "This is a duck. This is a wolf. I like drawing landscapes and animals, here have an M&M." It would have saved her shaking hands, among other things.

"The second picture really doesn't have much significance other than the fact that I dreamt of the landscape and decided to draw it. I can't really remember the dream now, but I know it had something to do with something important, or else I wouldn't have wasted the pencil on this."

That was easier than what was to come in the explanations of the other photos simply because that was the only true year that there was nothing too significant occurring. 2012 was when their 'affairs' had truly started, and so everything really changed then. Somehow he had managed to become less distant emotionally with her, though still ten miles away in comparison of the average person. But the fact was she saw the real, true Carter who always was hiding behind the masks of his title.

"The third picture represents you, and how I physically see you. You've always been so regal and appear to be so strong, but you only appear that way for the sake of survival and you can survive this way, easily from what I can see, but you're always at your happiest when you're around someone you care for. A wolf can survive on it's own, but it needs a pack to truly be happy and to truly feel safe. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I see that in you."

Was that too much to say? The entire reason she had almost left this third photo out was because it was starting to become incredibly personal and it showed how much she paid attention in general. The Rya he knew wasn't supposed to act that way. The Rya he knew was supposed to be some angry bitch who hated the world. The Rya he knew was supposed to want absolutely nothing to do with anything that involved feelings, and would have never even bothered giving this book to him.

But the Rya he knew wasn't really the Rya she expected him to know; the Rya he knew was Aryana Darcy, the kind little girl who left her parents at 13 to come to Hammel.

"The fourth picture..." Rya paused for a moment, fidgeting with her fingers before even beginning to get started. It was becoming tiresome to even speak at this point. All she wanted was to simply start the movie and call it a day, but no, she had to finish. "The fourth picture was an image from inside the brush of the lake of the retreat back in 2012. It was... a good time in our life. You didn't know you weren't graduating that year, and I didn't have to deal with this shitty existential crisis I found myself in earlier this year - Sorry about that, by the way - and we enjoyed our time. We had fun. It was a memory I couldn't, and wouldn't, change." I would consider that the most perfect time in my life, the Hydro wanted to say, but ultimately left it out.

"And the last one is a legitimate picture from the retreat this year. It was the one photo I had of us laughing and grinning and acting like kids, and I wanted to give it to you. We're both graduating this year, and I don't know what's going to happen after wards. I don't know if we are going to go separate paths, or if we just weren't going to speak, so I drew this for you, and kept the original, so you wouldn't forget. You wouldn't forget me, or the fun times you had at Hammel, and so that's why I made this book for you."

At this point, she said "Happy Birthday," once again before placing the book back on his lap and getting up to go retrieve a glass of water. She couldn't sit there and look at him in the eye; she just couldn't.

[Carter Chevalier]

The moment she felt the need to take an imperative breath, Carter knew he was in for a significant explanation. What he wasn’t expecting, however, was the contents of that explanation. How could he have? This seemingly unimportant day had just become vital.

Even if there was no proof to her claims, he still believed her. It would have been so easy to fabricate the concept of a drawing from years ago – one he barely got a glimpse at, no less – but something about her conviction, and simply her as an entity, assured him that it was believable. As much as he wanted to interject about the fact that it wasn’t ridiculous, he didn’t. Because she wasn’t finished, and it felt strange to jump in while she was offering so much.

The second drawing had him curious. Her explanation lacked obvious detail, but he took his own meaning from it. Even if she didn’t know, or couldn’t really explain it, it was something. And that, to him, was something.

A wolf. He had to breathe a short chuckle at that. It wasn’t the first time he’d been compared to the animal, though a prior counterpart chose a white tiger for such similar reasons. He had to question whether or not he had anything resembling a pack of any sorts. Such a concept felt lost, now. But all he offered her, aside from the laugh, was the usual stonewall expression. Possibly the reason she accurately depicted things about him. Regal and strong. It wasn’t how he felt he appeared. It was who he felt he was.

He easily recalled the destruction that came with the news that he wasn’t graduating those years ago. It forced the brighter memories prior to the information out of his head with simple ease. The image, and the explanation offered, found the means to offer the briefest flicker of that feeling.

Once she mentioned the words, Carter thought of his graduation. The fact that Dom wasn’t graduating. They always had a plan. To graduate and leave together. Vermont had never been their choice, and now it was as if he still didn’t have one. Fighting or not, it was almost impossible to consider leaving the area without his brother. He simply hadn’t put enough thought into the concept of graduating. But the more she spoke, the less he worried about it. The less he thought about it.

Something else caught his attention; captured his focus and reigned it in.

She left the book in his lap and walked away. And for a brief moment, he simply stared at it. Until he picked it up, placed it at his side and left the comfort of his seat. Without a word, the Chevalier followed her footsteps, his hand curling around her arm. With light pressure, he forced her to turn back to face her. He took the moment he had to search her eyes; his expression conveyed slight concern. Frustration. He dropped his jaw, intent on speaking, but in that particular moment, nothing happened. Nothing was said.

His eyebrows furrowed within such confusion.

“How could I forget you.”

[Aryana Darcy]

Rya couldn't even manage a full breath before she felt the warmth of his hand wrapping around her arm, and was forced to turn around to look at him. The Hydro knew he wouldn't accept anything other than direct eye contact, and frankly, it wouldn't be fair to simply just deny him that simple pleasure after everything that was just said. Her actions could be explained by fear, but fear of what, exactly? It wasn't Carter; the blonde wouldn't lay a hurtful hand on her. What she feared was herself, and her inability to remain in control of her emotions. The concept of time was lost on the Brit who found herself drinking and fucking her teenage years into the ground, so now that it finally hit her, it scared her half to death.

"I don't know," Rya gave him a breathy laugh, trying to provide a normal reaction to what she considered to be an uncomfortable situation. "I mean, I am pretty unforgettable. I suppose I was just being foolish."

Normally this would be the time she would turn away once again and occupy her mind and her hands with something - anything - that could provide a distraction. Her first thought was to just grab a glass of water; it would allow her to stop talking entirely, and distract her from the situation at hand. But Rya didn't do that, she couldn't do that. For some reason or another, she couldn't look away. Funny how for the past few minutes she was doing anything in her power to avoid his gaze, but not she was mesmerized by it.

"You've been my best friend for five years," The Hydro said suddenly, "I've always told myself there was no reason to think you would forget me, but in a few years, what will you be doing?" Her hands curled, and she momentarily bit the inside of her cheek. "You'll be off doing something big, and I just wanted some reassurance."

[Carter Chevalier]

Carter seemed physically burdened by her choice of words. To say she was unforgettable. He felt the rebuttal burn hot on the tip of his tongue, but he didn't reply. He didn't move.

Rather, he let everything she said wash over him in a detailed wave. The fact that she referred to him as something so close; a best friend. Her best friend. It almost forced the hardened lines of his expression to soften, until she continued on. The thought of his future wasn't exactly overtly daunting, but it seemed to trouble him the moment she mentioned it. Doing something big with his life. As if she wouldn't do the same.

"Why does it matter what I'll be doing?" Carter asked her, the confusion on his face never dissolving despite the way his frustration started to multiply. "Five years. Five years." He repeated, slowly letting her arm go. He moved to run his fingers across the line of his hair; a natural move to ensure its perfection. To keep him busy. "The only other person I've had in my life who's this important is my own fucking brother, Rya!"

He dropped his gaze on instinct, feeling the pressure settle on his shoulders. The way his throat burned once those words had passed his lips. "Why don't you understand who you are to me?"

[Aryana Darcy]

Why don't you understand who you are to me?

How could she? How could she begin to comprehend the complexity of his feelings for her? In her mind, everyone was always going to push her away or betray her, and so her meaning was completely lost to her. Her eyes fell promptly after he began speaking, and she couldn't find it within herself to look at him again.

How could the hydro phrase this? It wasn't as if she was ever forced to answer this question before, so the answer was lost to her. Rya knew it wasn't that she couldn't see the way he felt, but maybe it was more along the lines of she just refused to believe it? The Brit was important to Carter, and she just wanted to refuse to believe it. Yes, that was exactly it. The question that she really didn't want to answer was 'Why?'

"I don't know why," Rya breathed. "Maybe it's the same reason why I immediately correct someone if they call me Aryana. Maybe it's the same reason why I was rude to you that first day five years ago."

"I just don't know."