This Is How We Do

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

SENT: July 18, 2014 10:11 AM (AEST)
TO: Penelope Blaise <[e-mail]>
FROM: Lucy Serrano <[e-mail]>

SUBJECT: Total Merger

So I was getting groceries with my mum today and I saw this. I had to share it with you.



I have a LOT of questions.

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

SENT: July 17, 2014 8:19 PM (EST)
TO: Lucy Serrano <[e-mail]>
FROM: Penelope Blaise <[e-mail]>

SUBJECT: RE: Total Merger

Dear Lucy,

Yes?

Sincerely,
Penelope

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

SENT: July 18, 2014 10:21 AM (AEST)
TO: Penelope Blaise <[e-mail]>
FROM: Lucy Serrano <[e-mail]>

SUBJECT: RE: RE: Total Merger

Two things first.

One: How wise is it to start your hostile takeover in the grocery store?

And two: Why do you get so uptight about the stuff I eat when this is all your country has to offer?

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

SENT: July 17, 2014 8:27 PM (EST)
TO: Lucy Serrano <[e-mail]>
FROM: Penelope Blaise <[e-mail]>

SUBJECT: RE: RE: RE: Total Merger

Dear Lucy,

By no means is Great Britain trying to take over Australia of all places.

That is not an accurate depiction of all British food.

Sincerely,
Penelope

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

SENT: July 18, 2014 10:29 AM (AEST)
TO: Penelope Blaise <[e-mail]>
FROM: Lucy Serrano <[e-mail]>

SUBJECT: I bet you look so pissed right now

It says authentic!

Penelope Louise Blaise are you calling them a liar?

PS: You took over once, you can do it again.

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

SENT: July 17, 2014 8:34 PM (EST)
TO: Lucy Serrano <[e-mail]>
FROM: Penelope Blaise <[e-mail]>

SUBJECT: No

Dear Lucy,

We have those brands of sweets, yes, but that doesn't mean it's all we eat. I'm not referring to anyone as a liar.

I doubt Great Britain has any interest in taking Australia.

Sincerely,
Penelope

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

SENT: July 18, 2014 10:35 AM (AEST)
TO: Penelope Blaise <[e-mail]>
FROM: Lucy Serrano <[e-mail]>

SUBJECT: Yes

Do you have any interest in taking Australia?

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

SENT: July 17, 2014 8:39 PM (EST)
TO: Lucy Serrano <[e-mail]>
FROM: Penelope Blaise <[e-mail]>

SUBJECT: RE: Yes

Dear Lucy,

If that is an attempt at a crude joke, you're not being funny.

Sincerely,
Penelope

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

SENT: July 18, 2014 10:40 AM (AEST)
TO: Penelope Blaise <[e-mail]>
FROM: Lucy Serrano <[e-mail]>

SUBJECT: Fuck Yes

Maybe Australia has interest in being taken by you?

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

SENT: July 17, 2014 8:49 PM (EST)
TO: Lucy Serrano <[e-mail]>
FROM: Penelope Blaise <[e-mail]>

SUBJECT: Stop That

Dear Lucy,

I doubt all of Australia has that in mind.

Sincerely,
Penelope

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

SENT: July 18, 2014 10:51 AM (AEST)
TO: Penelope Blaise <[e-mail]>
FROM: Lucy Serrano <[e-mail]>

SUBJECT: Neverrrrr

I hope not, I've got a roaring case of jealousy when it comes to you.

Don't you find this a little charming? Just a bit?

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

SENT: July 17, 2014 8:55 PM (EST)
TO: Lucy Serrano <[e-mail]>
FROM: Penelope Blaise <[e-mail]>

SUBJECT: Never

Dear Lucy,

Why would you be jealous?

Sincerely,
Penelope

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

SENT: July 18, 2014 11:01 AM (AEST)
TO: Penelope Blaise <[e-mail]>
FROM: Lucy Serrano <[e-mail]>

SUBJECT: Baby don't be like that

You guys have instant noodles. Called Pot Noodles. And they're gross. They have mushrooms in them and that's a bit fucked.

Have you tried them? Do you secretly eat this sorta shit when I'm not around?

Is that what you had for dinner? I'm onto you.

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

SENT: July 17, 2014 9:07 PM (EST)
TO: Lucy Serrano <[e-mail]>
FROM: Penelope Blaise <[e-mail]>

SUBJECT: Be Like What?

Dear Lucy,

No, I do not eat instant noodles of any sort, but do you have something against mushrooms?

I had them before as a child. I was not impressed, and no, that is not what I had for dinner.

Sincerely,
Penelope

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

SENT: July 18, 2014 11:10 AM (AEST)
TO: Penelope Blaise <[e-mail]>
FROM: Lucy Serrano <[e-mail]>

SUBJECT: Be like >:\

I don't like them?

You can't say you don't eat instant noodles and then say you do. You really should've written; "I don't eat them any more."

Bam. Now who's an English pro.