Everything Will Be Okay (Oriel)
Aug 15, 2014 23:19:27 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2014 23:19:27 GMT -5
Oriel knew she was right. Logically, rationally, after everything they’d been through, it was common sense to believe that Tak and Phoenix actually gave a shit about the distressed, drama-queen of a boy that Oriel was. But rational and Oriel’s mind recently seemed to be repellant of each other. No matter how much he tried to convince himself of the contrary, it was too easy for Oriel to take the smallest, most insignificant details and twist them into concrete proof that those closest to him were in reality hating him as much as he did himself and were only pretending. Like Oriel pretended. (That’s called projection, friends!) Knowing that it was irrational thinking didn’t stop it from happening.
“I hate this….I hate feeling like this…I hate that I’m still a kid and can’t do nothing about it.” Oriel hated that there was only so much he could do to help himself because he was a kid. It was frustrating. “I don’t want to wait…” Because waiting meant that he had to deal with these feelings even longer. Oriel just wanted the anger, the madness, the paranoia, to all just go away!
Impatient…just like a kid. That certainly didn’t make him feel any better either.
Especially since it was that childish impulse that had him ready to climb on top of Tak right this moment. He needed that comfort that came with such intimate physical contact. He needed it more than air. And with Phoenix kept away from him, Oriel felt like he’d been drowning in his own pool of emotions. Once he started, it was hard to stop. And he knew that Tak would reciprocate, right?
She wasn’t. Oriel kissed her again, desperately, urging her to respond. Then she offered her warning. Oriel stopped, looking down in shame, in agony, like he didn’t know what to do. Why did Tak have to say anything? But he knew she was right. Again. Tak was always right. “I don’t know….” He felt like crying again. Oriel knew he shouldn’t, that it was wrong, but… “I don’t know what else to do…”
“I hate this….I hate feeling like this…I hate that I’m still a kid and can’t do nothing about it.” Oriel hated that there was only so much he could do to help himself because he was a kid. It was frustrating. “I don’t want to wait…” Because waiting meant that he had to deal with these feelings even longer. Oriel just wanted the anger, the madness, the paranoia, to all just go away!
Impatient…just like a kid. That certainly didn’t make him feel any better either.
Especially since it was that childish impulse that had him ready to climb on top of Tak right this moment. He needed that comfort that came with such intimate physical contact. He needed it more than air. And with Phoenix kept away from him, Oriel felt like he’d been drowning in his own pool of emotions. Once he started, it was hard to stop. And he knew that Tak would reciprocate, right?
She wasn’t. Oriel kissed her again, desperately, urging her to respond. Then she offered her warning. Oriel stopped, looking down in shame, in agony, like he didn’t know what to do. Why did Tak have to say anything? But he knew she was right. Again. Tak was always right. “I don’t know….” He felt like crying again. Oriel knew he shouldn’t, that it was wrong, but… “I don’t know what else to do…”