I'm Feeling Kinda Jaded (Kristina)

[Jade Parrish]

Jade had intended to get to the newspaper office at eight a.m. sharp to begin working on the layout for the next issue. When she finally did walk through the door, combat boots dragging across the floor, it was after nine a.m. While nothing seemed to be off in her appearance (her hair was tousled, only a small amount of eyeliner was applied, and she was wearing mostly black), there was definitely something off about the editor and chief and supposed 'iron fist' being late. She was there at that time every morning, usually with a cup of coffee and headphones in her ears. This morning she lacked both.

The office was a ghost town, seemingly. Zach's, Kasey's and Julien's desks were all empty, but there was a familiar head of dark hair in a desk in the corner. Also one of Jade's recruits to the newspaper and her roommate. It seemed that someone had gotten there on time and it hadn't been Jade. They were going to go over what photos to include in the issue and she was mildly surprised that Kristina was still there.

She felt the regret of the weekend hanging over her like a dark cloud on a Monday morning. Coincidentally, it was also raining. Jade couldn't appreciate the irony.

[Kristina Novak]

Kristina had arrived to the office a little bit after 8 am, a cup of green tea in her hand. She'd expected that Jade was going to be in already, figuring her roommate left before her to grab a coffee before coming to the university. So, to say she was surprised when she arrived and found her pretty friend nowhere in sight would be an understatement. Kristina asked one of the staff to let her in, and thankfully they did. She'd set up at her desk, laying out the best of her photos to get Jade's opinion on for the next issue.

Time rolled on, and she eyed the clock, watching each minute tick by. Was she early? Had she misunderstood what time they were meeting at? Now that Kristina thought about it, she didn't remember her coming home last night. She chewed on the end of her pen, playing around on her phone while waiting for her to show up.

An hour passed. Kristina's eyebrows narrowed, and just when she was about to call her, she heard footsteps. Lifting her head, the Czech girl was mildly surprised, but relieved, to see that Jade was here. "Hey girl." She greeted with a smile, before taking in her appearance. There was no denying that her roommate looked good (did Jade ever not look attractive though?) but there was something... there. Something different, that the usually inept Kristina could see. Her face fell, a confused expression crossing her face.

"You alright?"

[Jade Parrish]

Jade was not alright. She was falling apart. She had been so vulnerable the night before. She'd made herself look like a basket case, she'd fallen apart in front of someone and a complete stranger at that and then she slept with him. And now she was late to a meeting involving something she was incredibly passionate about and she didn't have coffee. Everything was wrong with the world.

While she wasn't big on bullshitting people, she found herself wanting to lie. But she couldn't make herself. She always got on others' cases for that. And she wasn't going to be a hypocrite. "No," she said, setting down her bag on her desk.

[Kristina Novak]

Kristina glanced over, sneaking a look at Jade from her peripheral vision. No coffee. No music. An hour late. There was something definitely wrong. She waited for her to answer while tapping her desk with her pen absentmindedly.

Jade admitted that she wasn't alright. Even if she could tell, hearing it from her took Kristina aback. She was never good at dealing with these sorts of situations, her demeanour changing from pleasant to a bit awkward. Kristina was... worried. Jade hadn't been herself lately and this morning just added to the list the Czech girl had been keeping mentally.

She set down her pen, looking over with clear concern. "We can reschedule, if you'd like." Kristina offered, spinning on her chair to face Jade. "And we can just... talk." Clearly, she was new to the whole being a helpful, good friend. But she'd try.

[Jade Parrish]

It was better to just admit than deny, at least when it came to speaking aloud. Jade could lie to herself all she wanted, but lying to someone important like Kristina...she couldn't do that. Sexy Bitch Haven code and all.

Kristina had dropped her pen as if giving Jade her full attention. "I don't reschedule," Jade told her friend, in all seriousness. "I get shit done." She crossed the room to Kristina's desk, bringing her rolly chair with her, and plopping down next to the brunette. "Now, what do you have for me?" She did want to talk, to a certain extent. But not about the fact that she'd slept with the kind of guy she hated. And for seemingly no reason other than to distract herself. And that wasn't her. She ran a hand through her raven hair and looked at her roommate.

[Kristina Novak]

She'd offered, but Kristina figured that Jade would decline. She couldn't help that the corners of her lips were curling up into a brief smile, before going back to their neutral state. She appreciated that her roommate admitted that things were alright, but now she had to figure out the best way to approach it.

Lifting her head, Kristina's gaze landed on Jade, who was now seated next to her. Talking about the photos, seemingly wanting to talk about anything else but the fact that there was something bothering her. She frowned, but turned her attention to the remaining photos on her desk. "Well, these are the ones I like best." Kristina said. "There are others if you want to look. Any photos compliment any articles in this issue?" She asked, her eyes flickering back to Jade's with a hesitant expression on her. Should she just... drop it or press on? Kristina didn't want to anger her roommate or pry into her business.

"You know... I've noticed that things have been up..." The Czech girl's voice grew soft.

[Jade Parrish]

It wasn't that Jade was avoiding that she was upset, or that she'd actually felt as if she'd made a mess of things. Normally Jade liked her mess. But it was an organized mess, and she made it work. This was just...chaos. "Okay, that's good to start with," she told Kristina, taking a look at the photos and desperately trying to remember the articles that were going into this month's issue. Normally she had them comitted to memory, the headlines and taglines and what they were generally about, but her mind was coming up blank and it was pissing her off that she needed to go back to her computer, boot it up and look at what she had lined up for the issue. That was not how things were.

She fell silent, not wanting to admit defeat. She had to think of the articles, she knew them! She did! She didn't even want to admit that she wasn't prepared for the meeting, that she'd have to take the shots Kristina took with her to see if any of them would work and then go from there. But she was always prepared. Always.

"I slept with a guy I didn't want to sleep with," she said with a sigh. "And I know that makes no sense to you, but it does to me. I had a fucking no dating policy, Kristina. And I upheld it until Oliver, that British bastard. He just came in and was all dorkily charming and half blind and it just got to me and now everything is a mess. I gave up that policy and now I'm just sleeping with some douchy guy in a leather jacket?" She looked to Kristina incredulously as if for answers. "Oliver just went back to the UK and now that's broken." Man, she sounded like a heartbroken white girl. Definitely. And she wasn't even heartbroken, she was just pissed at him for leaving her with a policy she couldn't go back to for some reason. That and everything else came flooding back, which she was avoiding talking about and talking about Oliver instead.

[Kristina Novak]

"Is there something about Halloween? Because I saw this abandoned house and took a few pictures." Kristina pointed to a couple of photos of an old house, with shattered glass and cobwebs in the corner of the window frame. Generally, she had no idea about the articles and what they were about. She just enjoyed taking photos and if Jade could find something that worked and showcased her work, then so be it.

But her roommate was quiet. Unusually quiet. The silence was unnerving, as Kristina shifted in her chair, waiting for something to be said. Anything.

Finally, the silence was broken, Jade admitting that she regretted sleeping with a guy. "It happens." Kristina said with a small shrug. Of course, she wasn't intending to belittle her emotions or response, since it... sucked not being in the right mindset and doing regrettable things. She stayed quiet until the very end, her fingers folded together in her lap while fidgeting with her thumbs. God, she was so bad at consoling people. Kristina hesitated, struggling to find the right words to say. To assure Jade that while things seemed to be a mess right now, it would settle down and she'd have control again. "Let me just say, you can do better than a douche in a leather jacket." She said with a (hopefully) joking tone.

"I don't know... why'd you have that policy in the first place?" Kristina asked, not able to help herself. She knew all too well that breakups were difficult, but closing yourself off and saying no to every opportunity wasn't the way to avoid heartbreak, an inevitable part of life. She thought back to her own experiences, her one and only girlfriend of a year. Young love that unfortunately ended when the other girl came to the conclusion that girls just weren't her thing. Kristina had been heartbroken, but eventually she rebounded. And if she could, then Jade sure as hell could.

"Trust me girl, breaking up is hard. And we all deal with it in different ways. We make a few, or a lot of mistakes along the way and that's okay." She offered her roommate a reassuring smile. "Because... when you open up to someone, you expect them to do the same for you. Maybe that's why you had the policy before, but then you're also closing yourself off to other possibilities." Kristina mentioned.

"That said, I am really sorry. It sounds like Oliver meant a lot to you."

[Jade Parrish]

"I think Zach is actually writing some creepy story or something for the October issue," Jade said, not even remembering if that was actually true. She'd talked to Zach a few times in passing and mostly about newspaper related things, but somehow they'd all just slipped to the back of her mind. "That seems cool though. I mean, we definitely want to give the newspaper a spooky theme for October, so I'd like to see those shots." She liked that Kristina came up with ideas on her own and was good about communicating them to her. It was also helping her think about the newspaper, which is what she should be doing.

"Yeah, well it shouldn't have happened," she countered, but did grin at Kristina when she said she could do better. Only...that wasn't really the issue. "It's not even that, about doing better than him." It was about her no-dating policy which seemed to confuse everyone except for her. And then Kristina asked the question, why she even had the policy.

"Because, people are stupid, for one. And I just...I don't want to waste my time on people who can't handle me, you know? I don't want some stupid relationship that lasts a few months and then tappers off because they realize I'm too intense, or I care too much about the newspaper or they decide they don't like how much black I wear. Because the thing is, I fucking love that I'm a hard ass, that I get shit done and that I love doing it. And I can't deal with someone telling me to wear more colors or that I should do something else with my hair. I don't feel like weeding through people who are going to get sick of me, or think I'm too into my work and not enough into them." She didn't have time for that. Not Jade Parrish. She let out a sigh, realizing that she'd really launched into an explanation.

"I'm not heartbroken. Yeah, he had to move back. Whatever. It sucks. But I did what I said I wouldn't do because I thought he could handle me." And while he had left for family reasons, maybe he couldn't handle her after all.

[Kristina Novak]

"Maybe the photos will pair nicely with his story then." Kristina agreed with a slight shrug. "And if not, I'm sure there will be something else. Maybe an article mentioning some of the Halloween activities going on in town?" She ran a hand through her dark waves, collecting the strands and tying her hair up into a neat ponytail. "I also have some other ones of the university and town. We can always dig through older ones too." She suggested. Kristina probably had enough archived photos to keep a portfolio running for years.

She raised an eyebrow at Jade when she said that people were stupid. Then again, it was a very Jade-esque answer. "I guess I can see where you're coming from." Kristina finally spoke, after a minute of silence and deep thought. "And you shouldn't have to feel like you... you have to compromise yourself or your beliefs and your individuality for someone. Because that isn't much of a relationship then." The no-dating policy still confused Kristina, but that wasn't the point. "It's not even that nobody can handle you." She hoped she wasn't implying that. "Because you have friends, friends who have been there and like your presence and love how passionate you are. That love who you are."

A rare smile appeared on the Czech girl's face, as her eyes met with Jade's. "I sure as hell don't want you to change." Kristina admitted. "And nobody else does either. The people that are intimidated by you are really missing out, and that's too bad." She paused to collect her thoughts and the point of her own ramblings. "My point is, you have friends, right? So there's some sort of process going on there of weeding out and finding who you bond with. The same goes for dating."

Her gaze faltered back to the photographs on her desk, glancing towards a framed photo of Jade where they had met in photography class, next to a candid of Brooke. "Sometimes, change and going against our promises is necessary. Otherwise, think how boring life would be if we stuck to our promises." She wouldn't have any friends if she had continued to be independent and too serious.

The topic was incredibly serious. Perhaps it was an inappropriate time for a joke, but Kristina added "Maybe you should try dating girls."

[Jade Parrish]

"I think I need to schedule a meeting for all of us to meet together," Jade told Kristina, realizing that it needed to happen the more they spoke so that they could coordinate the October issue. "But I love all of your photos as always. And I like that idea. I'll get someone on that article." Kristina was doing more of Jade's job than she was right now and the dark haired girl wasn't sure how she felt about that, even if Kristina was helping.

"Oh yeah, I have friends who can handle me and they're hard to find, Kris. It's even harder to find someone to date who can handle me and who I can also handle," she noted. "That's what I'm talking about." Oliver had been able to handle her it seemed, but now she wasn't sure and she didn't think she ever would be, they'd barely exchanged a few text messages.

"Yeah, it's just...I hate the process. Weeding out for friends is worth it. But dating really isn't that big of a deal to me, you know? Or I'd rather just date one of my friends who I've already weeded out. Call me lazy, but that's easier and I'm one busy and bossy bitch for that matter and then I would already know they could handle me." Of course, dating her friends would be weird, for more than one reason. Zach came to her mind first and she shuddered.

"I don't give a shit if people find me intimidating. It's just hard to find the people who dont, or who just get used to it and accept it." That's all she was saying. "And I thrive on change. Know that. It's this change...that's screwing with me." Trying to move away from the no dating policy.

"Oh, honey," she said in response to her suggestion, joking or not. "Been there and done that. It all just depends who strikes me." She winked.

[Kristina Novak]

"Sounds like a good idea." Kristina said with a nod. She hadn't really spoken to anyone one on one besides Jade. She'd seen familiar faces in the office from time to time, but she mostly kept to herself. She'd take photos, give them to Jade and let her roommate decide what to do with them. It probably wasn't a bad idea to formally meet her fellow newspaper writers. "You're too nice." Kristina said, her cheeks flushing in response to the compliment. But, it was good to see Jade acting like herself again; interested and invested in the newspaper.

Kristina opened her mouth to say that dating wasn't necessarily a priority, but figured that would lead full circle as to why Jade enacted the no dating policy in the first place. "Then I guess... just wait for it to happen? Let it come naturally. Clearly, it did for you and Oliver in the first place." She rolled her eyes when Jade called herself a bossy bitch, but didn't say anything. "You have friends, and if that's what makes you happy, then so be it." She figured it was hard for her to give up on something she'd stuck with for awhile, only to have the relationship fall to pieces.

She chuckled, shaking her head. Jade was something else, alright. "Fair enough." Kristina said, the hint of a smile lingering on her lips. The conversation had been too serious, even for the Czech girl. She didn't feel like she was in any place to give advice to Jade since her last serious relationship was in high school. "I'm sure you'll sort it out. Take some time, if you need to."

[Jade Parrish]

"I've been meaning to do it for a while. Especially since we have new people on the staff. It's imperative that we have a meeting," Jade explained. She felt like she'd kind of failed lately at her second job, which next to being a barista, was running the newspaper and it always ran well with her at the head, except for lately, it seemed. She needed to get her head back in it. "Oh, Kristina, give yourself some credit. And I am not nice. I believe I've established this many times." She grinned, feeling somewhat better at least for the moment, enough to know that she had a lot of shit to do that she was neglecting just because she'd let things get to her. Jade was a machine and she didn't stop moving to analyze her problems, or even realize them, but lately she'd come to a complete halt.

"I don't mind things happening naturally like they did with Oliver, what I do mind is that I just slept with a random stranger. Nevermind, let's talk about something else." She usually wasn't one to change the subject, but press it instead. Besides, Oliver and relationships and James weren't the real issues here, it was what was at the core. The guilt coming flooding back from long ago and she was completely annoyed that she'd let herself become like this.

[Kristina Novak]

It seemed to be key that for such a team orientated task, that the newspaper staff had a meeting. "How many people are there now anyway?" Kristina asked, unsure if she had seen everyone in the room at once. It wasn't like she had been around long enough to keep track being relatively new herself. "Maybe sometime this week or the beginning of the next. Gather everyone up and shoot some ideas around." She added. With a shake of her head, an amused smile appeared on her face. "Please." Kristina leaned over to lightly nudge Jade's shoulder, before retreating and rolling back towards her desk. She gathered a few of the favoured photos, stacking them in a pile aside from the rest. "You're nice."

She took a sip of her lukewarm tea, thinking. "Regrets, girl. They happen." Kristina concluded, but dropped the subject as well. She sat there, drumming her fingertips on top of the wooden desk. "If... if you want to talk about it more, we can." She offered, a pair of worried eyes landing on Jade.

[Jade Parrish]

"Well, I feel like the staff is still short. I mean, it was bigger last year, but what can you do? I've recruited as best as I could. Some of the old members are still here who I started on the paper with and since Zach, I've recruited you, K.C and Julien." She wondered if any of them had really spoken to each other yet, taken it upon themselves to get acquainted or if they'd just worked on opposite corners of the newspaper office without interacting. "I'll set that up." It was crucial that she was active in her duties more than ever, because of their smaller staff. "Nope. Not nice. I've been told I'm not nice, more than I've been told I'm nice. Survey says, I'm not nice." She smirked.

Kristina looked worried. Genuieniely worried and Jade couldn't remember the last time or the last person who seemed to express that towards her besides Rafi, who she'd seemed to drift from as time went on. He knew everything. Nobody else knew anything and for the first time, she was considering the possibility of opening up to somebody else. Somebody else who wasn't a random stranger in a taxi cab with nice hair and a douchey leather jacket. Kristina could be that person. "This is going to be really weird," she began. "But do you think you'd be willing to take an impromptu trip to Texas?" It came out suddenly.