Stopping With You

[Ella Robbinson]

Takes place after: Christmas Spirit

Something that kept Ella's mind focused was finishing decorating that Christmas tree Milan had left behind. Shaking hands picked up a string of lights and worked to the best of their ability to loop it all around. It did little to quell the tremor her hands and her heart were wearing, but at least it stalled things.

Until she reached for the baubles, and the blue hues caught her attention in the most obvious way. She'd liked them for his eyes; how the colour reflected such familiar optics. Had the one she held been made of glass, it likely would have shattered over the pressure her palm placed on it.

She dropped it. It bounced. Ella reached for her phone instead.

Her first point of call would have been to call Milan. But he stood at the centre of the proverbial storm, and the last thing she wanted to do was lost her mind to him over the instance. So she called the only other person she'd really spoken to in the last few months. The moment he answered, she offered the smallest, most insignificant greeting; "Hey."

[James Lawrence]

For once, James found himself within the walls of his apartment for the evening. A quiet night in for the trainer was in order. The television was playing some Christmas special on mute, the scene flickering by without much thought. He wasn't paying attention.

Instead, his focus was drawn to the acoustic guitar resting in his lap. A hobby James had been neglecting for too long. His fingers played chords absentmindedly, of no particular song. An open bottle of beer sat on top of the coffee table, only moving when James took a drink. Quiet.

Until the ringtone of his phone went off. It buzzed, moving around the table slightly. Setting aside the guitar, James leaned forward to pick up his phone. He took a quick glance at the caller id. Ella. Raising an eyebrow, he answered the call, bringing the phone to his ear. She spoke first; a small hey.

"Hey." James echoed, unable to keep the surprised undertones out of his voice. "What's up?" He asked, casually. What he really wanted to ask was why Ella called but to start off a phone call that way didn't sit well. With his free hand, James picked up the bottle and leaned back into the couch cushions.

[Ella Robbinson]

The moment Ella heard his voice, she had to wonder if she made the right decision. There was obvious tension between Milan and James given the instance a few nights ago at the work Holiday Bash. She didn't want to hold it against either of them, but she had to wonder if this was a good idea.

But there he was. On the phone. A small syllable of repetition and the inevitable question.

"I don't know." Ella replied, quickly. Far too quickly for her own good. On her feet, she started pacing the small space that was her living room. She gave a momentary glance to her bedroom door in silence. If she hung up now, would he race over to check on her? Would he even care?

"I just-" Did he care? "I don't know."

[James Lawrence]

James didn't know what to expect as a response from the other side of the line. The phone call had been seemingly random. A couple days had passed since the encounter with her and Milan at the Holiday Bash; a night James was doing his best to forget about.

Was she changing her mind about New Year's?

The thought crossed his mind, until she answered. A little too quick on the draw. Nervous was his best guess. He couldn't be 100% sure without seeing Ella in person.

The stammering only confirmed his suspicion. James leaned forward, setting the bottle back down. "What's wrong?" He asked. It didn't take long for him to figure out that she had called with a purpose. With some sort of intention. "Not to be rude or anything, but you sound like a wreck over there. You okay?" Because the trainer was concerned.

[Ella Robbinson]

Forward thoughts by nature left Ella unsure. She wasn't the one to take definite steps, she was one to be led. Strange as it was to register, she registered the thought all the same as similar anxiety bubbled into view. She'd called him because she needed to talk, and now she couldn't.

"Yes." She said immediately, and she wondered just how obvious that lie was. So she quickly worked around it; "No."

They were friends. And this was what friends did for each other.

"It's like I can't breathe." She admitted, the stress in her tone clear enough akin to her words of choice. "My heart-" raced. And she could take that, given her power. It was all a side effect of said power. In that particular moment, she wanted nothing more than the ability to complete coherent sentences.

[James Lawrence]

Ready to call bullshit, James opened his mouth to do so but she quickly corrected herself. No. She wasn't okay. At least she wasn't denying it. Unsure what to do with the information, James kept quiet as he tried to piece together something to say. Something that didn't sound interrogative or like he didn't care. It was surprisingly hard to express all of this; he was finding out firsthand.

One thing the trainer somewhat knew how to handle was anxiety. The stress of students as their training went off course was something James encountered on a daily, if not, weekly basis. "Okay," He answered, his voice instinctively slipping into the tone he'd use with stressed students. Calm and reassuring. "What you need to do is steady your heart rate so you can breathe." Then they could talk. "Breathe in for five seconds, and then exhale it out for five. Can you do that?" There was no point trying to talk to Ella when she was in a heightened state of anxiety.

[Ella Robbinson]

Within a singular word, James' voice fell into a smoother collection; soothing in its own right within a simple syllable. As it stood, life would be so much easier without the need to rely on others. Without the draw to rely on others.

James Lawrence. A friend.

She nodded against the device like he'd be able to see it. A slow, steady stream of air filled her lungs. Carefully. Easily, considering the beat she was sure she could feel in her throat. A definite count to five in her head. She held it for a spare moment or so before breathing out. A still-slow motion of air.

[James Lawrence]

Having someone to talk to, to confide in, was new for James. Someone who he could open up to; to break down the carefully constructed image he tried hard to maintain for so long. She saw past the exterior. She was a friend; something James wasn't really sure if he could say before.

He heard her breathing from the other side of the line. A steady inhale. An equally steady exhale. "Good, good." James assured her as he listened and counted along inside his head. "Just keep doing that. A couple more times. You're doing great."

It was safe to say that James never felt the need to help anybody out, without looking for personal gain. Right now, his sole concentration was on Ella's breathing. Not the reason behind her panic.

[Ella Robbinson]

Every encouraging connotation to his voice worked to dispell the sense of anxiousness Ella still managed to carry from her earlier instance. It hadn't again dawned on her that she'd need to explain herself; keeping worrying thoughts out felt like the key, and although she could breathe, the muscles in her chest still screamed to attest the fact.

A few more strides of air; the circular motion beat like the rhythm of a well tuned pulse or an even sharper drum. Seventy-four per minute - for her height, weight and level of fitness, it was the normal parameter to aim for on any given day.

"Okay," She tried after a time, "Okay."

Each word passed her lips with more clarity than the rambling answers and weak entry to the moment itself, "I'm sorry. Thank you." As if that were it for the whole conversation.

[James Lawrence]

Her breathing had calmed down considerably since the start of the phone call. A few more rounds of deeper breathing and her body would have no choice but to relax. Steady. James didn't say a word in this time frame, except to assure her that she was doing alright.

Words, without panicked undertones. Relieved, he nodded; a pointless action since she couldn't see him. "Don't apologize." He dismissed, not because he didn't care, but felt that she had nothing to apologize for. "It's what friends are for." James added, hesitating for a second before the word friends. The label he put on them.

It almost sounded like Ella was going to hang up. That their first phone call would be short lived and involve breathing exercises. "You're good? Cause you sounded pretty... stressed out." James pointed out. He was curious, naturally, what put her in such a state of panic, but didn't want to press her if she didn't want to talk about it.

[Ella Robbinson]

Despite the fact that James told her not to apologise, Ella still felt the need to. Never would she find a means to catch a resolution if she didn't offer it; after all, she had no idea what he was doing before she called him. He might have been busy. He seemed like the type of person who would be. Plenty to spend his time with, yet he was on the phone to someone who - only moments ago - struggled to take an even breath.

It did sound like she was going to hang up. Ella contemplated the belief for a few spare moments. She wondered if she could; if she'd be able to get away with it.

Momentarily, she pulled the phone away from her ear and stared at it. This was James she was talking to. If she abruptly left him hanging in this moment, would that be enough to prompt him to visit? That was definitely a bad idea. She dragged the phone back to her ear.

"I can breathe." She replied, instead. It wasn't quite a yes or a no, and really, that was the point.

[James Lawrence]

Unless playing random chords on the guitar and drinking alone counted as doing something important, James hadn't been preoccupied. He didn't mind; in fact, he was a little relieved hearing Ella's voice on the other end. It was someone to talk to, instead of sitting all alone in his apartment.

Silence. Dead air that lasted too long. "Hello?" He questioned in the receiver, wondering if the call had been disconnected, by her force or one from the outside. James didn't have to dwell on the thought, as her voice came through once more.

Because she was right; of Ella were to hang up, James would've drove over to see what was wrong. In person.

"Well, I'd say that's successful, then." He answered, bringing a free hand to brush over his jaw. "Doesn't mean you weren't upset before though."

[Ella Robbinson]

Ella couldn't help the small breath of laughter she offered into the phone. It was her own way of agreeing that, yes, it was successful. She could breathe easily. She could feel the rhythm of her pulse settling into an easier state of management. And she was alone; nothing made maintaining its rhyming notions any easier than the ability to just focus on her physical self.

But they weren't over. And she had to know that.

Pausing momentarily, she considered how best to answer. Lying felt practically improbable at this point. "I was, yeah." Ella offered, a momentary break. It was an opportunity, if he wanted to take it.

Who was she kidding? Of course he wanted her to continue.

"I just felt really overwhelmed. I don't think that's a bad thing." She continued on, "Okay, it might have been a bad thing. But I don't think I can be faulted for being thrown so far off guard. I don't take big surprises well."

[James Lawrence]

James moved his free arm to the arm of the couch, drumming his fingers lightly against the surface. A laugh; her way of acknowledging his observation.

All of his comments were said with the intention to get Ella to open up about what had happened, without pushing too hard. He assumed she wanted to talk about it; why else would she have called? It just required a bit of prodding on his end.

Considering just moments ago Ella was finding it hard to breathe, James would argue that it was a bad thing. But inevitably, those overwhelming moments happened in life. And she'd handled it well. He raised an eyebrow at the enunciated words. "Big surprise?" He repeated, a touch of confusion in his voice. "How big of a surprise are we talking about here?"

[Ella Robbinson]

Ella took another slow breath, sure that her ramblings seemed a little hectic given how calm she was trying to be. She didn't want to lose herself again, but she wasn't sure how easily she could explain the situation. They were just friends - as James had said nights ago - but for whatever reason she was sure this explanation would be something that'd make him uncomfortable.

She didn't want to do that. But she wanted to talk. She needed to.

"The biggest." She replied, wondering if he'd catch what that meant. Or where his mind might go. Almost immediately after, she quickly felt the need to amend herself; "Well, second biggest. Probably."

After all, it wasn't like he'd asked her to marry him.