Something So Wrong, Feels So Right... (Jackson)

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A relationship was likely too much to ask of Jackson right now as well. He wouldn’t know what to do in such a thing, especially not with another guy! And besides…he couldn’t really be with a guy. Like, not seriously. That thought made him feel sad, though…. Jackson really liked Rue, there was no denying that. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have let anything happen in the first place. Even though that like was still very, very innocent.

That’s why Jackson was so nervous, both in his aura and body language. He was trying not to be though. It was just hard, when facing against something he was unexperienced in. Like kissing. Jackson’s cheeks tinged with color as he once again remembered that Rue had just stolen his first kiss only moments before. And now…

Now he was actively engaging in his third kiss. It was awkward, and Jackson didn’t know what he was trying to do, but at least he was trying. Jackson didn’t want to disappoint the older boy. However, as they became deeper and deeper entrenched within the kiss, the more and more Jackson’s mind was flying right out of his head and into the sky above. Without it, his boy wouldn’t move the way he wanted it to. Jackson was barely even aware of how lost he’d become in Rue’s kiss, in his touches, in his breath and gaze….just completely lost in the moment. His mouth gaped slightly when they parted for a moment and he released a soft, almost silent moan when Rue pulled on the boy’s lip. “R-Rue…” he breathed, holding onto the man for dear life. Drowning….he was drowning in the older man.

All that stimulation just from his mouth had the boy trembling in pleasure right there in Rue’s arms, so much that one might think he was chilled. However, he was merely…completely out of his mind. Jackson was lightheaded and breathless, his eyes closed with his face upturned toward the taller man. Jackson licked his lips and barely opened his eyes at Rue’s concern. “….yeah…I’m okay…” That was debatable, honestly, but if the boy could say it out loud, then it was probably true.

Too much? Jackson shook his head slightly, the most minuscule of movements under Rue’s large hands. “I’m okay,” he said again. Jackson took a few more breathes. He couldn’t seem to catch them quick enough. “T…thi…thir..d,” he said, his already soft voice fading into the air. “My third….kiss…..” He licked his lips and managed a smile, opening his eyes just a little more. “Y-you…thief.” Jackson smiled again, nuzzling his head up in the crook of Rue’s neck. Ahhh….Jackson wanted to just stay here for the rest of the day….ugh, why did he have to have such a strong sense of responsibility? Then this would be 100x easier, wouldn’t it? “It was good,” he said, answering Rue’s question finally.

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While Jackson might’ve thought it was awkward, Rue was far too engaged in the kiss to really notice. So what if the younger boy didn’t really seem to know what he was doing? Rue hadn’t expected him to, and he could do the leading, no problem. He had… Quite a bit of experience. Jackson could learn… At some point, however, the boy seemed to start losing all function completely, and Rue would have laughed if his mouth wasn’t already busy. It was… Flattering to know he could have such an effect on someone. “You’re adorable,” he said in a humored murmur, holding an arm around Jackson’s waist to support him while the other cupped his cheek. “I think you do it on purpose…” Yup, just to tease the older man even more, he was sure.

“… Are you cold?” Rue asked, realizing the boy was trembling in his arms. The aura reader was very warm, but he switched them around so his own back was against the wall and he wrapped his thick arms around the younger boy’s, rubbing up and down his back to comfort him. “…. Are you sure?” he asked, slight concern in his voice. “You’re trembling like a leaf…” He caught a glimpse of that tongue, though, and had to resist the urge to start right up again. “Do you need to sit down?” He’d offer his lap if Jackson said yes.

“… If you say so…” he sighed quietly, hoping Jackson was telling the truth. It was just… Hard to tell with him sometimes. Rue’s hands continued their caresses against his lower back, and he blinked slowly as the younger boy spoke, taking a moment to understand what he was saying. “… Heh… I guess I’m pretty greedy, aren’t I?” he said a bit meekly. “Sorry… I couldn’t resist…” And that was saying something for the normally clear-headed man. He smiled as Jackson nuzzled his neck, and started playing with strands of hair at the base of the boy’s own. He’d all but forgotten about the papers Jackson was in charge of… Whoops. “… Good,” he breathed happily. “As long as you enjoyed it…” Rue definitely had. “…. Maybe we can do it again sometime?” He didn’t want to overwhelm the teen, but he didn’t want to leave without some sort of reassurance that this wouldn’t be the last time.

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Yes…just follow what Rue was doing…what was that saying? When in Rome…? That’s all Jackson was doing right now, and he could only hope he was doing it right. Though it was getting harder and harder to reciprocate when every second passed left him dizzy and weak at the knees. He blinked blearily up at Rue, his cheeks the color of two over-ripened cherries. “I’m….I’m not…” he breathed. He didn’t want to be adorable…but that still sent a tickle through his stomach. “I d-don’t….” At least he didn’t think he did. Though it was true that he was liable to do things to get the older man’s attentions, especially now since that seed had been planted. No…that was a silly thing to do or think about…but he did like it…

Jackson shook his head shallowly. He wasn’t cold, he was just….overstimulated. The inexperienced boy didn’t know how to process it all, the kisses combined with the touches….it all was a bit overwhelming. That didn’t mean he wanted to stop. Rue was warm….Jackson didn’t want to leave his embrace. “I’m…I’m okay,” he said again. Sit down? Uhh…. “M…maybe…?” But where was there to sit here in the closet?

He kept saying it, but…maybe saying it too often was having the opposite effect and made Rue think he wasn’t? Well…he wasn’t exactly okay, but he wasn’t exactly not okay either. He was….just trying to keep up. If he fell into it too far, then he’d definitely fall behind. And Jackson….Rue was enjoying himself…so Jackson didn’t want to be the one to ruin that either. He almost regretted telling Rue the truth, that these were his first kisses, ever. Jackson smiled still. “Yeah…you are,” he agreed with a laugh. “So greedy.” But that was okay, he supposed. This was…this was nice. And….mmm, he loved the attention. Rue playing with his hair. Did it have to end? “….I did,” he said with a blush. The suggestion to meet again…made him smile. Would it be in the same way? In some secret hiding place where no one else knew, but they could be found out any second? That was a bit…exciting. But only if nobody actually found out. “We can. I…I want to see you again.” Jackson felt his face burn from the admission and he buried his face further into Rue’s chest. Gahh, what was he doing, with a guy too? it was….he liked it. He liked it a lot. And he liked Rue. “When do you think we can?” he asked, raising his head finally and slowly easing himself to standing under his own power.

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“Shh…” Rue teased with a small grin, and placed his index finger over Jackson’s lips. “You are. And I’m going to believe you do it on purpose, otherwise I’ll feel like I have no self-control left at all.” Yup, Jackson was a sneaky, tricky boy, tying Rue’s heart up in knots and making him weirdly needy. And he was only sixteen…

Rue managed to find a spot on an upturned bucket to sit, and pulled Jackson onto his lap as he did. Fortunately Rue had a large lap, and the teenager was a good deal smaller than him. His arms stayed firmly wrapped around him, keeping him close and kneading small circles into the boy’s back. “Are you comfortable?” he murmured, holding Jackson’s head against his shoulder. “Is there… Anything else you want? Or need?” Not that he had a lot to offer at the moment, but…

He wasn’t sure how he felt about this new information. That he was Jackson’s first. “… You know, I wish I had known that before,” Rue sighed regretfully. “A janitor closet… Really isn’t the most romantic place… For a first time…” His train of thought moved onto another ‘first time’ that Jackson surely hadn’t experienced, and he blushed when he imagined making that experience much more memorable than this one. He was thinking too far ahead, definitely. Still, Rue smiled when Jackson confirmed that he had enjoyed it, and he tickled the back of the boy’s neck a little with a chuckle. “Mmm… Alright,” he murmured when the younger boy confirmed that he wanted to see him again. It made Rue feel… Really good. “Good… I want to see you again too.” He chuckled more at the boy’s cute reaction, and leaned down to press a kiss on the top of his head. “Whenever works for you,” he said quietly. “Maybe next time… I can have you over for tea, or something. How does that sound?” And it would be more private, and less risky. And if things got heated up… No, he was thinking too far again.

Eventually Rue sighed and began to stand. “I… We should probably get out of here before someone finds us,” he murmured. He wouldn’t remember to make sure Jackson got his papers, so hopefully the teenager would. “… Text me when the best time works for you, okay?” Rue hesitated, then pecked the boy’s lips one more time. “I’ll see you soon. “

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Oh….his finger was on Jackson’s lips. Why….why why…..why was Jackson’s first impulse to put it in his mouth?? That was…was weird! He couldn’t do that, Rue would definitely think it was weird. So instead, he kissed it…which wasn’t as satisfying, but still….playful. He shook his head. “But I doon’t…” he whined softly. Jackson was only sixteen…he couldn’t possibly have the ability to lead someone on like that….

If anything, it was Rue who was getting Jackson worked up with an utter lack of self-control. Or control at all, his knees didn’t want to hold him up anymore. As they gave way, Jackson fell into Rue’s lap and was pulled into the older man’s chest again. It was…so warm… His shivering calmed the slightest bit, though he couldn’t tell if that was from warming up or being allowed to relax. Jackson nodded again, slowly. “Mmhmm.” This was….he liked this…. Huh? What else did he want? “I….I don’t know….” How was he supposed to decide something like that? “Uh…..another….kiss…?” he asked quietly. Jackson’s face burned brightly as he made the request. Darnit….he was becoming addicted to kisses…more specifically, Rue’s kisses.

But…maybe knowing exactly how inexperienced Jackson was wasn’t the best idea? Rue seemed…uncomfortable. “Sorry…” Jackson said. As if it was his fault. How was he supposed to know that Rue was going to do such a thing? “it’s okay,” he insisted, looking up at Rue with urging eyes. “I’m okay….it was….it was nice! I liked it! I really did!” Besides, it was just a kiss….not just a kiss, but it was a kiss. And while Rue was probably right in that it should have been in a more appropriate place, Jackson…he didn’t regret it. He was…kind of glad that it came so suddenly and unexpectedly. If it were with a girlfriend(that he’ll never have, sigh…) or in a more serious setting, then…Jackson for certain would have chickened out. He would have been too nervous to go through with it. This was better, with Rue forcing it on him. It got it out of the way and now Jackson didn’t have to be nervous about it anymore. He’d be ready for next time!

Next time…when would that be? “O-okay….that sounds…nice,” he said slowly. Maybe he wouldn’t be ready after all….because now they’d be at Rue’s house, where it was really private. They could take their time, and not feel rushed…that was somehow making him more nervous than just doing it in the closet.

Jackson was feeling very happy about this, but then Rue was moving and starting to stand, forcing Jackson to follow suit. His own legs were a bit wobbly, and he grabbed hold of Rue to keep himself steady. “I..uh, yeah….we probably should,” he said softly, disappointment coloring his words. He wandered around to grab the papers he was supposed to deliver, then turned back around to Rue. “Okay….I’ll do that,” he said with a nod. And a smile at that final, quick kiss. Heehee…Yes, he was looking forward to next time. “Okay…I’ll, uh…I’ll text you.” He started to the closet door, licking his lips of the taste Rue left on them.