Shoulda Put a Mop on it [Open]

[Dylan Black]

Dylan hated cleaning up the cafeteria after hours. Fries. Stains of varying sorts. Crushed items encrusted into the floor so deeply it was like they were actually a part of the damn laminate themselves. Still, it was his job and he needed pay, and the cafeteria was much safer than the girls dorm toilets. So, fries and spilled drinks be damned, he'd clean the place up.

After about half an hour, the room looked far more respectable, and he leant against the wall, before checking the time. Setting the cleaning products against the wall, he surveyed his hard work, then cracked his knuckles. If any little fuckers came in and ruined this while he was still standing here, there would be instant mop penetration. No questions asked. Sliding his gloves off, he rubbed his temples and then took one long deep breath.

Recently things had been annoying the crap out of our dear Janitor. Creepy Mustache man at the pet shop. Dickhead McHomosexual at the grocery store. It felt like there was some Pilot Ridge conspiracy to make him as pissed off as possible. Glaring a hole into one of the tables, Dylan flopped against the wall, and boredly tweaked two chairs into an animated state, watching them twirl around and dance.

Mph. At least chairs didn't HUG or kiss or talk or breathe or any of that other vile disgusting stuff the rest of the human populace did that offended him so. Plugging in his headphones, he folded his arms across his chest and nodded, thoroughly disguised in the corner behind the table and chairs. Maybe someone would be stupid enough to spill something.

He could hope.

[Harmony Muller-Barton]

Harmony also felt like there was a plot in Pilot Ridge to piss her off. First her idiot uncle thinking he could step in and take over her life, then her run in with the local cops, and to top it all off the lake had jumped in to attack her. Although she had to admit, she was looking for an excuse to bump into Izzy again, for reason she dared not to think to herself.

Her Ipod, newly fixed, was blaring in her ears as she walked down the the cafeteria. She was a little late for actual dinner-time, but she figured there would be food somewhere for her to find.

When she walked into the room, there was hardly anyone there. She noticed someone sitting in the corner, apparently scowling at the world. He looked a little old to be a student and Harmony hoped he wasn't a trainer. She didn't think she could stand trying to develop her powers with someone like that.

Giving him a wide berth, she grabbed a glass of soda and started to look around for something else to snack on. As she walked across the room, one of the dancing chairs tripped her, sending her and her soda flying across the floor.

"Stupid freaking chair!" she yelled, standing up and wiping herself off. "Watch where you're going!"

[Dylan Black]

Dylan was just about to actually gasp smile at the chairs doing their little fail dance in the middle of the cafeteria when weird looking kid with a gremlin face showed up all in his cleaned room to get fat or whatever it was that kids did in the cafeteria between meal serving times. Oh wonderful. Soda. If Dylan could be bothered, he would have facepalmed repeatedly till his brain oozed out onto the linoleum and someone slipped on it and died.

And then she spilled it.

Now he really did facepalm, running his hands over his face and standing up, pulling his headphones out of his ears. "Well done you little snot." He said bluntly, folding his arms in front of him. "Maybe if you'd watched where you were going instead of hunting for food like some sort of eat-beast you wouldn't have tripped." He snapped his fingers and the chairs stopped moving, just as suddenly as they'd started.

Grabbing the mop, he gave it a shove and it began dancing across the puddle of soda. Pushing his fingertips into his temples, he rolled his eyes. "So what was it exactly you were after? A vat of lard? Cookie? Deep fat fried fetus? Spit it out and I might actually get it for you before your heifer feet bash into any more furniture." Strolling around the tables, he moved into the back of the area and scratched his chin.

Muttering under his breath about stampeding idiots, he moved round into the back room and poked about, before tossing a cookie at the stupid... thing. "There you go. Now run along and do whatever it is you kids do when you aren't messing up the school. Learn. Fart. Whatever."

[Harmony Muller-Barton]

When Dylan first spoke, Harmony couldn’t help but be speechless for a moment. We’re adults at Hammel even allowed to talk like that to students? What kind of crappy place had she gotten herself shipped off to?

She snapped out of her thoughts when Dylan tossed a cookie in her direction. “Who do you think you are?” she yelled, throwing the cookie back at him. “Eat too many paint chips as a kid? Or did you mommy just drop you on your head one too many times?” She crossed her arms in front of her, tempted to dump what had remained in her soda glass onto the floor as well. “And I do not have heifer feet, you big idiot.”

Her face was starting to redden as her brain scrambled for some sort of insult better than idiot. “If I didn’t mess up this stupid school, then you’d be out of job janitor. Then you’d be unemployed and an idiot. So maybe you should be thanking me instead.”

[Dylan Black]

Speechlessness is what Dylan tends to aim for. People were so much more tolerable when they were quiet and preferably a few miles away from him, but he can't have everything. He did do a great job of dodging the cookie and rolled his eyes.

"Nice miss." He sneered, rolling his eyes. Great, it was one of the mouthy ones that don't know when to shut up. "Eating paint chips? I'm sorry, I'm not you, I don't find the desire to eat so overwhelming that I have to start chomping on inedible items." He added, exiting the cafeteria back room. "As for head dropping, maybe she did but at least she had the common sense to drop me on the back of my head, not the front, you little gremlin."

The mop had done it's job and he waved it away to go back to the corner. "I'm sorry. Elephantine feet then. That's more accurate. I'm surprised you haven't stomped your way through the second floor." Oh? It was her duty to mess up the school was it? "You must have a tremendous ego." He began calmly, leaning against the wall.

"If you didn't mess up the school then I'd still have a job, dipshit. And if I lost it, I hope you'd enjoy a school covered in the contents of you lovely ladies uterus's, scorch marks on the ceiling and vomit in the classrooms. So I'll pass on the thanks, Stompy. Now get out of the cafeteria before you break a table."

[Harmony Muller-Barton]

Harmony almost growled when the man dodged the cookie she had launched at him. She looked around for some more ammo and spotted a bowl of fruit sitting on the end of the table next to her. That’ll work, she thought, grinning to herself.

“Oh yeah?” she said, taking slow steps towards the fruit. “Well maybe if she of dropped you on your face it would have been an improvement.” She laughed. “Seriously? How do you look into a mirror everyday without the urge to puke?”

“Elephant feet!” she yelled, clenching her fist. “Well…take this ape face!” she picked up a banana and threw it towards his head.

“Well thank you so much for making the place borderline clean, then,” she said, launching an orange at him. “I’ll bet your mommy was so proud to have a janitor in the family. Nice career choice, idiot. Lame-O!”

[Dylan Black]

Oh. A food fight. Super duper. Dylan was getting bored of this already. "I can't take anything you say about my face seriously when I'm confused as to whether you're an ugly man or an extremely ugly girl. Is that a moustache I see?"

Swatting the banana away, the man rolled his eyes. "You know you're losing a fight when you have to throw things, manfeatures." He snorted, then rubbed his hands together. "I should imagine if you ask really nice, someone might pay to get that fixed for you."

It was easy to see he had the upper hand in this argument because he had the years of insults under his belt. Lame-o, really? And the janitor jokes? Heard 'em all. "Since you're already messing the school up and starting a food fight, this gives me permission to do this." A triumphant smirk rose up on the janitor's face, and he clapped his hands, letting out a shrill whistle.

A dustbin suddenly jumped to attention, and began wheeling furiously towards Harmony, spewing garbage as it's lid flapped. "Look out Elephant." He said, stopping his furious dodging to watch the Bin come and gobble this irritating little pissworm.

[Harmony Muller-Barton]

“Moustache?!?” Harmony screamed. “What makes you think you’re the beauty police?” She realized that the orange she was preparing to throw next was starting to squeeze open in her hand. She almost grinned at the juice dripping onto the floor.

“Stupid jerk!” Harmony yelled as he hit the banana to the side. “If I ask you real nice, will you go jump off a cliff!” She was furious. Not only as this idiot janitor with serious personal skills issues, but also at herself for not being able to come up with anything that seemed to hit any sort of soft spots.

“Do what? Gonna call-” Harmony started before she noticed the dustbin charging towards her. For a moment she stood still in shock while her brain took the time to compute what was going on. She screamed and took a step backwards, already turning to run for the door. Instead of getting to the door, she vanished in mid-stride.

Only to re-appear in front of the janitor and run straight toward him. With no time to react or stop herself.

[Dylan Black]

Dylan's triumphant smirk at the ability to rile up this dumb girl was extremely broad. He was about to make a comment about waxing and getting some professional help when the girl reacted to the waste bin. Finally. As she moved to flee, Dylan was about to tidy up the mess and move on when he realised the man-faced teen had disappeared mid run.

And was now right in front of him.

With a shout that was more expletive than actual content, Dylan toppled with the sheer speed the girl ran into him. "You absolute lump, get the fuck off me." He snarled, finding being in close quarters with someone absolutely repulsive. Reaching his hands out, he grasped the girl's wrists and slowly, without actually hurting her - she was just a dumb kid after all. He managed to get them both on their feet, then released her.

Ugh. Human contact. Gross. Flinching and feeling like his skin was prickling, our dear surly janitor ran his hands through his hair. "Look, kid, just go." He grumbled. "I've got shit to clean, you've got ... more things to run into." He waved his hands. "If you leave now I'll call off the bin. How about that?" He was being reasonable. For once.

If only because he was quietly freaking the hell out about being NEAR someone. "Promise. And all that shit."

[Harmony Muller-Barton]

Harmony had no time roll away from the horrible man before he was grabbing her by the arms. She stuck out her tongue as he pulled her to her feet. “I can get up by myself,” she said, a little proud of herself for upsetting him. Physically and emotionally.

“Fine, Ape Man,” she said as she tossed her pigtails over her shoulder. “You have fun with your mop. I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone to clean up.” She smiled as she reached the door. She couldn’t help but wonder if her uncle would have been so harsh about her knocking over a trashcan if he knew it was this idiot’s job to clean it up. She hoped not. But then again, she didn’t really think all that highly of her uncle.

“Smell ya later,” she said, running back down the hall before he changed his mind to let her go free.