Let it Out [Sean]

[Rhett Goddard]

Rhett's anxiety problems were still there. They had their highs and downs but heck, they just weren't going away. The more he did to keep his mind busy, the worse things were when he went to sleep or when he couldn't find anything to do. Nothing was really helping, he knew it. Drastic measures, more drastic that the previous ones, had to be taken. He knew he had to go and face his problem in, well, the face. But he wasn't ready yet. He had to wait a little longer. He needed to prepare for that last battle. But the meantime... the meantime would kill him. So he did something that would help in the meantime, he went to Hammel's psychiatrist.

It was not the first time he went to a psychiatrist. Back in Kocher he went to one, twice a week at first and then once a week for the whole year. It was mandatory for him, actually, he didn't quite know why, but for some reason, after the transfer, nothing forced him to assist to Hammel's. Maybe someone had forgotten to include that in his files, or maybe Hammel considered he didn't need psychiatric work, which Rhett actually thought was wrong, but whatever the reason was, he was actually happy he didn't have to go and forcefully talk to someone else about himself. He was bad at ir.

The reason why Rhett stood outside Dr. Sean Neville's office was because, somehow, he felt forced to go... forced by himself. He wouldn't admit it, but his psychiatrist in Kocher did a very good work, it was nice to talk to someone with good knowledge of human behavior, and laying out his problems or thoughts to him wasn't an issue once a basic level of trust was established. He didn't think the exact situation would happen now, no, he actually didn't think visiting Hammel's on call psychiatrist would be half as good as Kocher's, for starts because Kocher's psychiatrist was human while this one was a telepath metahuman. He had to admit it was a little scary, but it wasn't the first time Rhett was around telepaths and he knew how to handle himself around them. Now the memory manipulation part... that part actually interested him a bit.

Without much waiting, the person in charge told him he could enter the psychiatrist's office now, and he did, taking a seat instantly before being asked to.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

The summer session was usually less hectic for the telepath’s schedule. This was due to the graduation ceremony a few weeks back, which took a sizeable portion of the student body out of classrooms and meetings, which also meant out of disciplinary sessions. Additionally, Vincent Verax had managed to secure an internship, an actual internship with a law firm (Sean had learned too late to warn Josh and for some reason the other man wasn’t answering his phone), which meant less time spent at the school, and since he lived off campus now, the telepath had free time and fewer headaches.

Of course, his annual sexual education seminar was a few weeks away, but he had that down to a science, and an art form. Preparation was easy enough these days.

This year was slightly different, due to Claude’s abrupt resignation as Head Master, something that Sean had wanted to discuss in full with him but his friend kept tight-lipped. While the other faculty had returned to full time duty, there remained a hole while they waited for Claude’s replacement. It lingered in the back of Sean’s mind as he went about his work.

His afternoon was largely free of meetings, and he had set aside the time to go through case files and make notes. But his door was unlocked for any student who might have need of him. And that afternoon’s student was Rhett Goddard. He knew of the boy’s record with the Kocher psychiatrist as part of the transfer paperwork, although he didn’t have specific session information since that would break doctor-patient confidentiality; the boy would have to grant permission for that access. To that end, perhaps this meeting had only been a matter of time.

After being let into his office, the boy had seated himself without further direction. Sean straightened in his chair behind his desk, and swept the pile of papers to the side, to prevent an obstructed view. He gave the boy a gentle smile of greeting. “Hello, Rhett. What can I do for you today?”

[Rhett Goddard]

Mind readers, always trying to impress you with them knowing things they should. Cliché. It didn't amaze nor bothered Rhett at all, though, not only he expected it, heck, he did the same thing all the time with his extrasensory perception. It might not be as efficient as mind reading but sometimes it might surprise him being way much more interesting.

"Dr. Neville. It is very nice to meet you." The tone of his voice showed clear lack of interest of formalities. "I do have to wonder, and ask, do you usually ask that question to all your patients? You know they all know you read minds, so it's about what they answer, right? It has to be about how what they are thinking differs, or match, what they say about the reason of their visit, which I will assume it is always at the tip of their minds when they sit in this, I add, quite uncomfortable chairs." He changed his positions a bit while directing his attention to the chair before giving it back to Dr. Neville. "It is a cliché too, but I wonder why all psychiatrists have a sofa, or something alike in their offices. Comfortable people are more sincere? Because most talk more when uncomfortable or nervous, I've concluded."

Contrary to what might be believed, Rhett was not avoiding the man's question at all. One thing he knew is that most mind-readers can't avoid listening to other people's thoughts, and these sort of reasoning was actually the blonde's usual line of thoughts, so he figured there was no reason to keep it head-only if the probability of them being shared anyway. Plus, it wasn't like he never did it, he loved it, specially when it bothered people.

"But anyway." He leaned in his chair. "You can do many things for me today. We'll get into them if you don't dig them out of my mind first." He avoided thinking about his ultimate request, filling his head with the many things he happens to wonder and analyze. "I'm scared, you know." Elbow in knees, he rested his head in his right hand. "Of myself. Things are getting out of control lately." He remembered the time he tackled Talen as he learned his womanizing flirts and the fact that he was now steady with a girl. "Animalistic, maybe. Let me rephrase that, thought. Because that's not myself, I'm not an animal. I'm scared of what has gotten into me."

[Dr. Sean Neville]

((OOC: You have my sincerest apologies; I thought I'd reached this with my posting blitz in August but discovered I hadn't. I'm quite sorry for the delay.))


Sean wasn’t one to try to impress people; he was too well-centered for that. Rather, certain behaviors were habit after forty-plus years. Habits such as knowing who was outside the door and seeing no reason to pretend otherwise. However, he let the boy’s thought pass without remark, because people were entitled to an illusion of privacy when privacy was unavailable, and there was no reason to comment.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Rhett,” he replied, more interested in formalities because they were part and parcel of life. However, he wouldn’t force them beyond necessary dynamics and general pleasantries. Related to necessary dynamics was the question that Rhett asked of him. “I don’t play elaborate games in this office. The question is a sincere one, regardless of telepathy.” He then spread his hands at the second remark, taking no offense since he’d certainly heard worse from students before. “I don’t get many complaints about the seating, but if you’d prefer the sofa, I can take an armchair. The sofa is there because I don’t care for others to be uncomfortable.”

He waited for the boy to make himself as comfortable as he would get in this session. He did hear his surface thoughts, although he wasn’t actively listening; he didn’t keep his mental shields at maximum except in the rarest of occasions, although he could multitask, of course. Because he wasn’t actively listening, he waited for the boy to explain what he needed from the psychiatrist, what he desired. He didn’t defend himself, pointing out that he didn’t go digging in other people’s minds unless necessary. Since Rhett was going into a detailed explanation, he felt it unnecessary to break the rhythm.

Instead, he listened. And he sympathized, because it wasn’t a foreign sentiment that Rhett expressed. “And what has gotten into you? I realize that it sounds trite, but when did you notice changes in your behavior and your attitude?” If they determined when this had begun, they could determine a cause.

Absent that, Sean would have a clearer picture of the problem, at the very least.

[Rhett Goddard]

((oh, meh.))

"That's an easy one." He pictured the dark-haired boy's image in his mind. "His name is Talen Trahan. Go ahead and grab the mental image from my mind, just ignore the random images of wolves I seem to have around it." Rhett let Dr. Neville some moments to dig in his mind deeper if he wanted to, Rhett didn't mind, he knew what he was getting into by going there. "I like him." He said it for the first time out loud. "Or at least I seem to like him. I'm not really sure. It's an impulse, rather than something I want to. An instinct." He continued his 'animalistic' theory. "Like an animal. Which I sort of understand, they're like reflexes, they're just there. But then I tackled him." He remembered what he felt at that moment. How the adrenaline in his blood spiked and how he could feel his skin boiling. "So he grabbed me by my neck and cursed at me. And you know what I felt? Everything. I was scared, and not for my life, for my..." Was I about to say relationship? No... let's use another word. "I didn't want him to be mad at me. But he was and it was my fault. I cared. I've never cared before in my life."

He took a moment to compose himself. He was talking too much. He knew it, but this time, unlike in his story, he didn't care. He had to make Dr. Neville understand him to a point, otherwise the whole visit would do little to no sense.

"I have no interest in the 'this will make me grow up and learn about life' speech, though." He knew what the speech consisted of, and he knew it was right. "I don't want to hear how normal is. I don't want to hear how is most likely hormones fixing what my childhood did to my personality, heart," Or lack of... "soul and whatever else you want to add. I want it to stop. I liked how everything was. I don't want to stop being myself to become... this other self even if it's myself too."

[Dr. Sean Neville]

The psychiatrist knew of Talen Trahan, because he knew of all of the students, even the ones with whom he had never had a formal session. He had access to records as part of his job. And with the explicit permission, and no detectable sarcasm surrounding that permission, the telepath allowed himself to view the image that came to Rhett’s mind. He also wouldn’t ignore the wolves, because mental symbolism was important, but he chose not to remark on them at the moment; there would always be time for that later.

Instead, with the image in mind, he settled in and listened as the boy explained what had happened, explained his feelings and his impulses, explained his past lack of connection to other people.

“I wouldn’t dream of giving you that speech,” the psychiatrist remarked. He, too, had no interest in useless platitudes. He was interested in helping others and dispensing useful advice, not in pretending to be Ward Cleaver. “That said, I can’t promise you that there’s a way to make it stop or to return everything back to how it was. And I won’t promise you that even if it’s what you would prefer because I’m not in the business of lying.”

That needed to be said. Just as Rhett wanted Sean to understand his position and what had happened, the telepath wanted him to understand what he could and could not, what he would and would not, bring to the table, and the rules by which he abided. “People affect us in ways we can’t control, because we can’t control them. Talen obviously has a very strong effect on you, and I can understand not wanting to be vulnerable, or different. Change is painful, change is difficult, change is chaotic.”

The psychiatrist folded his hands in front of him and met Rhett’s eyes steadily. “If accepting change is unpalatable, you have few options. You can struggle with it around him, and be vulnerable and fight that instinct and your emotions. Or you can avoid him, which will likely cause other, conflicting, unpleasant emotions and cause some form of longing inside of you eventually. I can’t say I would recommend either of those, but I also don’t mind being vulnerable if the payoff is to be with someone I like.”