Just Catching Up. For Real This Time. (Cameron)

[Ravyn Rozanova]

The day previously had been marvelous. Ravyn had run into the Raines twins at the lake, and they had spent the day messing around and having a good time in general. They had even texted a bit afterwards, which Ravyn saw as a good sign. The entire time, though, she had had another guy in the back of her mind - Cameron. Although their romantic relationship was over (for the most part, other than that night a few months back when she had gone over to his room... And yeah, there may have been other instances as well), she still cared a lot about him, and knew he should know about her possibly dating the Raines twins. That, and she simply wanted to catch up with him and see how he was doing. He was still one of her closest, dearest friends. She missed him when she didn't see him very much.

She had invited him to the pond, where she was currently perched in the middle branches of a leafy elm tree. She was hoping to surprise him by hiding for a few moments after he got there, but he probably knew her well enough to know where she would be. Still, she crouched in wait, her hair tied back in its usual braid and her tanktop and shorts a dark green, which would hopefully help her blend in. What? Maybe it was a little immature, but when had she ever branded herself as mature?

She was determined to keep this simply a friendly meeting. She knew what could happen when they were alone sometimes, and though it was always fun and exciting, at this point she would feel like she was betraying the twins by doing anything like that with Cameron. It was so hard - she liked them all so much, but she had to get at least some closure on the matter. She just hoped it wouldn't ruin their friendship.

[Cameron Osiris]

Cameron was doing the usual. You know, bugging the shit out of Romeo, making new friends, like Mia. But he was also doing some new things too, like Fer. The LGBT Prom had been amazing, for more than one reason. He had forced himself to get over Ravyn, because she wouldn’t take him back and there wasn’t any point on dwelling over it anymore. Oh well, there were other fish in the sea. He had also gone to visit his dad on a past weekend. It had been good, he’d missed the old man.

He wasn’t expecting a text from her, but was really glad they could still call each other friends. Cam was at a point now where he thought if she was seeing someone else, he would be happy for her. She deserved someone amazing. It was a beautiful day outside, nice enough to wear shorts and a t-shirt, nothing too special. His hair was all over the place today and he really hadn’t put any thought into it this time. They were just friends, he was going to keep it that way.

“RayRay! Where are you?!” He hollered, knowing she was here somewhere. Cam was smiling brightly as he looked up in the trees, using his power to ahem, shine a little light on the situation. “There you are!” He said, as though he’d found treasure. He gulped. Yes, they were just friends. He was just friends with Ravyn, beautiful, smart... he shook his head. “You didn’t tell me to come here just to scare me did you?” He asked, crossing his arms in front of him.

[Ravyn Rozanova]

Fortunately, it wasn't too long until Cam showed up. Before he found her, she watched him for a few moments - the way he moved, his messy hair (which she noticed was even more ruffled than usual), the ways his eyes squinted in the light - and felt a little sad. She really wished it could work between them. She was even willing to say that if it didn't work out with the Raines twins, she would probably try to drift back to him, but only if he would take her. She didn't want to hurt him anymore than she had already. She hoped he had been seeing other people too, although the thought of it did make her heart ache. Just a little. She would never get over him completely.

She laughed as the light seemed to magically get brighter around her, and she pretended to glare at him. "You're cheating!" she complained, quickly hopping down from her perch. She hit the ground lightly and smiled, adding,"Of course I did. But now that that didn't work, you can go now." She made a little shooing motion, then laughed again. "Silly Cam." She hesitated a moment, and then gave him a quick hug. That's what friends did, right? She held it for only a second or two before releasing him, making a conscious effort not to look into his eyes too much. They were what always captured her. "I just wanted to see how you were doing. You know, school, family... social life... It's been a while." She turned her head and looked out over the pond for a moment before turning back to him with an uncertain smile. "Want to take a walk?" At least that way they wouldn't just be standing here, looking at each other as she attempted not to go back to the way things used to be between them.

[Cameron Osiris]

Cameron would take her back in a heartbeat, though really, he’d take back anyone. She wasn’t special, she was just on his radar. He hadn’t been seeing other people per say, it wasn’t anything like what they had. Having the occasional fling and one night stands wasn’t a relationship, but then again, theirs had been dates full of adventure and adrenaline rushes. He didn’t even know she had a brother until after they broke up. That didn’t even make sense. But hey, he was in love!

“Oh well, in that case,” Cameron turned on the spot and took a couple steps back towards the school, before turning back to her with a smile on his face. He wasn’t going anywhere, not if he could help it. He kept the hug under two seconds and pulled away to look at her, his eyes searching hers. His hands were in his pockets to keep them in check. “Everything’s great, as usual. You’re talking to me, after all.” Cam smiled brightly, before nodding towards the outskirts of the school grounds. “Sure, we’ll walk and talk.”

Cameron turned his head to look at her, then back ahead of him. “So what did you really ask me out here for?”

[Ravyn Rozanova]

Ravyn could practically feel the unsaid things between them, the tension in the air. Maybe it had been unfair, asking him to meet her here alone. She just missed him so much sometimes... Try as she might, she just couldn't let him go completely. She hoped maybe seeing the Raines twins would help her get over it, but she had a feeling it would take a long time, if ever. Cam had had the biggest impact on her life outside of her family. You didn't just forget what you used to have.

She laughed as he turned to leave, knowing he was going along with the joke. The hug was brief, as both of them were obviously making a conscious effort to keep this as a 'friendly' meeting. Sure, ripping off each others clothes and taking a swim sounded fun too, but Ravyn kept that idea in her head. No need to give him ideas, she thought with a slight giggle. "I'm glad to hear things are going well," she responded, folding her arms behind her back. She wasn't sure how to respond to the second part of that statement; she went with a laugh and headshake. "You're such a flatterer. I'm not that interesting to talk to."

She turned as he did, slowly meandering around the pond's edge. She walked close enough to be friendly, but no so close that their arms touched. It was more difficult than she had expected. "I just haven't gotten to talk to you in a while," she began. "Ever since that night... Well, when we ended up not studying as much as we should have. We haven't gotten to talk as much. I miss you." She hope that didn't come across as clingy. Even though she felt like she was trying to cling on to him. Oh, why did emotions have to be so hard? Stupid hormones. "But anyway. I wanted to tell you that I'm hanging out with the Raines twins tomorrow." There, it was out in the open. "Not like a date or anything. Well, not exactly. But... You know, to get to know them." She cast a sideways glance at him to see his reaction. "It's nothing serious. I mean, I'm still open to..." She trailed off. Now she was sounding too desperate. "I'm still looking," she finished. Her cheeks felt hot, and she realized she was embarrassed. Why did she feel embarrassed? Seeing people was normal.

[Cameron Osiris]

Cameron offered a small, but unapologetic smile. “It’s probably not a good idea to talk now, not anymore anyways, since we broke up and things have changed.” He wasn’t really sure what their relationship was now, but hey, he wasn’t complaining if they got to make out every once in a while.

His body stiffened as they walked. Cam glanced at Ravyn for a second before returning his eyes forward. “If it wasn’t a big deal, you wouldn’t be telling me...” There it was, his heart crushed and bruised. Had she just been using him as a booty call then? His upper lip stiffened. They really were over. No more talking, and definitely no more fooling around. Well, unless she wanted to... He really couldn’t say no to her.

“You don’t have to break up with me twice.” He informed her, a bit of an edge in his voice. It already hurt badly enough the first time. She didn’t need to give him tabs to keep on her, she was free to spend her time as she so chose. “I’m seeing someone too,” he lied, but he could make up a story. “She’s really pretty, new to the school. You’ve probably seen her around, Mia?” He forced a smile. This was just bound to get awkward. He still had feelings for Ravyn, and really none for Mia.

[Ravyn Rozanova]

Oh, no. No no no. He was not reacting at all like she had hoped. She supposed she should have seen this coming, but she hadn't, and now she felt her stomach drop and she turned her wide, sad eyes to him. "Cam, that's not.... That isn't why I'm telling you," she managed, coming to a stop. "I just thought... I wanted to tell you first, so that if anything did happen, and rumors started flying around, you wouldn't.... You wouldn't think I was trying to hide something from you. I wanted you to hear it from me. You're my best friend. " Her voice cracked, and she turned away, feeling worse every moment. No matter what she did, she always seemed to end up hurting him more. Why couldn't she do anything right? "But I guess I understand if you don't want to talk to me anymore," she whispered. Tears were threatening to break through, but she managed to compose herself before looking back at him.

She was both saddened and a little happy (just a little) that he said he was seeing someone too. She didn't know he was lying; he had no reason to, she thought. Although it did seem cruel of him to pronounce her attractiveness. She had seen Mia, they were actually sort of friends, and though Mia hadn't said anything to her about it, she wasn't surprised. She tried to give him a smile, and managed to get out a small one. "That's great, Cam. I'm happy for you," she murmured. Each word felt like a pin in her heart. "I hope things work out. She's a nice girl. Pretty, too." Prettier than her? Maybe. It didn't really matter. He was interested in her now, and Ravyn had to accept that, no matter how much her mind was screaming at her that she was making all the wrong choices. She liked the Raines twins, she really did, but was it worth losing her first love over? She didn't think so.

"I guess... Well, I guess I'll see you around." She began to turn to leave, still fighting back tears. "If you ever want to talk, I'm always here for you." Even if all I do is hurt you, she thought bitterly. "I... I hope you and Mia have a great time together." A single tear dripped from her eye, and she wiped it away angrily. She had never been good at hiding her emotions.

[Cameron Osiris]

That just killed him. He was her best friend? Well why weren’t they dating then? How come a couple of twins weren’t dangerous but he was? “I see. You wanted to avoid the rumour mill.” Cameron would have rather heard it from someone else than face her directly right now. Then at least he would have time to go back to his room and punch a wall in and collect himself. Was he meant to be finding this easy? “Hey, I still want to talk to you,” he said, pushing the hair out of her face before snatching his hand away like it was some kind of viper. “The romantic stuff... You dating someone else...” Could she see he was breaking?

He smiled at her through the pain. “Yeah, she’s from Alaska, likes to go dog sledding and everything!” He laughed, like Mia was this precious stone. “She didn’t even know what McDonald’s was. After we go there, we’ll probably go hand out resumes around town and everything. Might cook her dinner some time, yeah, it’ll be great.” None of those things were lies, but the context was a serious one. If Ravyn ever found out... Well, maybe she would just hate him and Cam could move on. So be it.

And then Ravyn started crying, and Cam couldn’t take it anymore. "Wait." He took her hand and drew her back to him, kissing her cheek. “I still love you too,” he said, like he could read her mind. Why would she be upset otherwise? Cam got a sick pleasure out of knowing she was upset over him “seeing” someone else too. Another look at her and Cameron clamped down his jaw. “You better go, before I kiss you for real.”

[Ravyn Rozanova]

"I just thought it would be better for you to hear it from me..." she repeated in a murmur. She believed in telling people the truth straight to their face, no matter how much it hurt; rumors always seemed to grow bigger than the original story, and she didn't want to make her innocent meetings with Gabriel and Uriel seem like they were... Hooking up, or anything. "I guess I thought wrong." She glanced up as he said he still wanted to talk to her, but the pain was evident on his face as he reached to brush hair out of her face... She knew she should flinch away, but she just couldn't make herself do it. It was too intimate, too familiar. Her heart pounded at the touch.

"Alaska, huh? That sounds great. I hear it's a lot like Russia." She was about to add something about how he must be into northern girls, but it seemed inappropriate at the moment. She was aching too much to joke anyway. "I'm sure she'll like your food. I always did." She bit her lip, hating herself for every word she was saying. She knew she should be happy he was seeing someone else too, and she was in a way, but she hadn't realized until now just how much their relationship had meant to her. Suddenly the prospect of seeing the Raines twins made her stomach sick, like acid. What in the world was she thinking? Why could she even think of seeing someone else when they both obviously still loved each other so much? She had told herself all this time that Cam was too dangerous for her, too exciting, when she was beginning to realize it was all just an excuse for hiding how much she really wanted to be with him still...

As she turned to go, he caught her hand, and she closed her eyes with a shudder. Not at the touch, but at trying to hold back her emotions. Before she knew it she was within kissing distance of him, and she felt herself break as he kissed her cheek. "Cam, you shouldn't-" she began, knowing how much this hurt him, hurt her, but then he professed his love for her still and that was all she could take. She broke down sobbing, hating her weakness and indecisiveness. Her forehead rested on his chest; she knew she should go, but losing him was too much for her to bear. "I'm so sorry, Cam," she whispered. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore."

[Cameron Osiris]

He watched her for a moment, before his pride fell away. He was hurting her and he couldn't stand it. "You're right, it is better hearing it from you." But still, it hurt. She was the one that broke up with him after all, so, why linger?

Mustering a smile, Cameron hoped the story had been a good one. And it had, Ravyn believed it totally. Maybe she was afraid, but it wasn't him she was afraid of. Not really. Cam had always liked her, even before they started dating. She accepted his playboy attitude, didn't even mind that he still flirted with others while they were dating, so long as he didn't cheat on her, and he never had. No one was as captiving as his RayRay. No one. It was borderline obsessive, but how could he not be? When he had found someone just as excited to try new things as he was, wel, he didn't want to let go. But he was forced to, and this was him moving on. In other words, this is him not moving on.

Cameron pulled her into an embrace and just held her. He wanted so desperately to let her go emotionally, but that was just impossible. He couldn't take back what he had shared with her, and he didn't want to. "I'll always be here for you, no matter what." He said. He was such a sucker. He didn't want to admit that he would wait for her to go through a hundred guys, if only she would end up with him at some point. But he would.

Did the twins know about this? About them? Cameron didn't care, he held his wonderful ex-girlfriend carefully and wondered when she would leave again. She didn't deny loving him back. He lifted her chin up so she would face him, and wiped away her tears with his fingertips. "Don't cry, I hate seeing you cry."

[Ravyn Rozanova]

At least he seemed to soften a little, Ravyn thought as he accepted her want to tell him in person. She couldn't blame him though; seriously, look how badly she was taking the fact that he was 'seeing' another girl. How could she have been so blind to think he would take this lightly? She hadn't thought that, she guessed. She had only fooled herself into thinking this wasn't a big deal, that their late-night flings had no strings attached except for two friends having a good time. She lied to herself that she was over him. She had just used the Raines twins as an excuse to try to distance herself from him and try to get some closure, finally. Obviously, that wasn't going to work. She couldn't even walk away from him now, when she had told herself that this was going to be the end. Now she had no idea what to do. She really did like the Raines brothers, but did she like them more than Cam...? Obviously not now; she barely knew them. And now that she thought about it, she didn't know if anyone could ever compare to her attachment to Cameron.

The intensity of her feelings for him scared her. She didn't know she cared about anyone THAT much. She could only wonder if he felt the same. Probably not - he was seeing Mia, after all. Her heart sunk a little more at the thought. He was already partially gone.

She wrapped her arms around him as he hugged her, her hands going automatically to the spot they always had when they were together. She tried to ignore his familiar scent as her face brushed against his shirt. Of course, she couldn't. She never could. "I'll always be here for you too, Cam," she murmured back. Even if he and Mia got together and she had to listen to how great their relationship was. Was that how love worked?

She quietly laughed in embarrassment as he lifted her head up, attempting to wipe away the tears with her sleeve even as he did so with his fingertips. "I'm sorry, I'm a mess right now," she sniffed, smiling weakly. "I've never been good at this sort of thing." Flings, she could do. Relationships, sure. Figuring out how to sort through real, hard emotions? Not her forte. At least she seemed to be managing her emotions a little better, now that he didn't look so... So angry and hurt. Not that he looked peaceful now, exactly, but at least now he didn't look like he wanted to punch someone. Too hard.

"Can I make you a promise?" she whispered a while later, after they just stood in each others' arms for a while. "If things don't work between the Raines twins and I... If it seems like we'd be better off as friends... Which honestly, at this point I think will happen... Can we try again?" The questions hung in the air ominously, and she realized there was a problem with this. "You know, unless you and Mia..." She trailed off. She didn't want to make him seem like he was second-best. She had just already made arrangements with the twins, and she didn't want to back out now.

[Cameron Osiris]

They may have had good times, but there were strings attached. Rayne was looking for closure when it shouldn’t have ended to begin with. Not in Cam’s opinion anyways. Even if he was seeing Mia, she was seeing the twins and still felt the same for him. Maybe they were in the same boat.

Really what they had wasn’t love, it was selfishness, puppy love at best.

He smiled softly at her, looking at her like he always did – acceptance, maybe love. Definitely like she was irreplaceable. “Oh, like I’m amazing at it,” he said, rolling his eyes. They were in this together, even if it wasn’t perfect. Cameron was also the first person not to face himself, and his true emotions. It was just easier going with the flow, and looking for excitement? It’s what he lived for.

Sighing, Cameron tried his best to ignore how desperate she made him sound. He wanted to pull her away, tell her he was better than that. But this wasn’t a movie, this was real life. And his feelings? They were real, and the offer was too good to be true. “And I’ll counter your promise,” he said, waiting for her to calm down, “I don’t want to be second best, if it doesn’t work out you know.” He smiled a bit. “Between you and me, Mia is no you.”

[Ravyn Rozanova]

Maybe it wasn't love, but is still hurt. And Ravyn hated how clingy she was being, hated how desperate she sounded when her entire intentions of coming here were to not let something like this happen again. Oh well. Too late now. She wiped away the last of her pathetic tears and let her arms drop to her sides, defeated. "We're so dumb, Cam," she said with a hiccupy laugh. "Why is this so hard?" Maybe he secretly had seduction powers as well, she thought with a bitter chuckle. That would explain why she could never keep her hands off of him.

"That came out terribly. I'm sorry." She didn't like to keep apologizing, but she didn't know what else to say. She scuffed the ground with her foot. "You're not second best. You never will be. I just already made plans with them and it would be rude to cancel..." She trailed off again.

She glanced up, eyes widening. 'Mia is no you?' What did that mean? That he still wanted to be with her over the pretty pink-haired girl? She decided to lay all her cards out on the table. "Look. I guess I thought trying to date someone else would make me stop wanting you so badly. But now I think I was just dumb and scared and didn't like how much I depended on you to be there for me. I thought I was strong enough to handle things on my own, to try someone new, but obviously I'm not." She sighed shakily, gaze firmly locked on his chest, rather than his eyes. She didn't even really know what she was talking about anymore, she just didn't want him to leave, or think he was lesser than someone else. "I shouldn't have asked you to come out here. I was being selfish and clingy. So if you want to date Mia, go ahead. I'm sure you'll be wonderful together." She didn't sound bitter, only tired. "You deserve someone wonderful." It hurt to say it all, but at least now he knew what she was really thinking. She tensed, prepared for however he decided to reply, be it good or bad.

[Cameron Osiris]

"We're not dumb," he said soothingly. Anything, to convince her that what they were doing was normal. "We're teenagers, we have to live, have experience and all that stuff grown ups are always talking about." Besides, how were they supposed to know what love really was if they didn't at least try? He was willing to, but her cold feet said more than any words. "You can walk away if you want to," he said softly, knowing that she wouldn't. She was wrapped around his finger as much as he was wrapped around hers.

"Oh!" He said, unable to stop his excitement before it came out. He grinned, liking that there was still hope. "So you're not really with them? You're just... hanging out? Or is it a date?" There was a fine difference that would make or break his heart, again.

"You don't make any sense," he said, pure confusion on his face. "You want me? Why aren't we together then?" It really didn't make sense to him and already his lie was coming to bite him in the ass. She was scared, and there was nothing he could do. He was ready to dive into things, and well, she wasn't, not for everything. "I'll be here when you're ready," he said, but at that point, who knew what could happen. He didn't want her to be replacable, but he had much left to learn about relationships, and he might learn the hard way.

Shaking his head, he kissed her hands and drew away. "You are wonderful," he said, before retreating into himself and heading back towards the school. This was over right now. Whoever said he had to be a player all the time? Really he was only one because it was easier, he got more experience, got to be with different people, but... Ravyn, she always wanted to try new things. Why wasn't he one of them?