Trix's Random Non-Canon Ramblings

[Adrianna Carstyn]

This is my little writing corner of stories that go along with my many characters and probably some others (if I butcher your character in my madness, I apologize sincerely). Here you will find ship stories, future canon possibilities and just random adorableness that I muster up. I hope you all like what I put here, it is merely for entertainment purposes and you can PM me if you would like me to write anything special for one of your characters and mine <3

[Lucah Ivaskov]

Kiss Me Slowly
(Set in 2020)

Eight years ago, Lucah Ivaskov never would have imagined a future like the one he got. In fact, he was so sure that he wouldn’t have the future he wanted at all. Life had been rough back then after his sister was taken and all the break-ups he’d suffered through, it just wasn’t a good life to have. Eventually things started looking up for the college boy though. Skype had become his connection to Jezebel and the break ups had been mended into friendships. Some had taken longer than others, but nonetheless he’d mended them.

Who knew that one of those break ups would be mended into more than just a friendship? At that point, Lucah had never imagined to fall for her again, but he’d later found that she was his and he was hers. They were just better together than they were apart and after all of the problems they’d both gone through to see that, it had only brought them closer. Unfortunately in the process others had been hurt, but he’d been sure to explain everything. And luckily for him, most were understanding. Most actually agreed that the two of them were the best for each other.

More often than not, Luc found himself looking back all those years ago and thanking those who had pushed him so hard to forgive her. Funny how one of them was the reason he’d broken up with her in the first place. But Lucah especially had to thank one of his former groomsmen/the man of honor. Noah had aided in the reconciliation of his relationship more than anyone and though Luc had been reluctant at first, Noah soon became one of his best friends. Who’d have ever thought?

Christmas season was always a hectic time, especially when buying for not only a very deserving wife, but also a very spoiled little girl. Being on a music teacher’s salary, Luc wasn’t totally rich, though Dimitri had given him quite a fair share of the money he had right to. He’d come around to Luc’s independence after a while. Once he met Ravyn he instantly fell in love with the girl. Luc knew it had a lot to do with how much she looked like his mother and even acted like her. It was a whole different story when their daughter had been born and Dimitri became a grandfather. Surprisingly, he was a really good grandfather to the little girl, but again, Luc had a feeling it was because she looked much like Jezebel when she was young. Dimitri had a weakness for dark hair and bright blue eyes when it came to his girls. If only he treated his son nicer when he was growing up. But they’d worked on their relationship and no longer were at war with each other.

With the extra money, Luc knew he’d be able to get his girls all of the things they deserved. Callie and Kiara had helped him pick out a nice necklace for Ravyn that wasn’t an old heirloom and Jezebel helped out with all of the toys and clothes for her niece. Overall, Lucah was sure that the girls would be thrilled by the gifts and he had been looking forward to the day all week.

The easiest thing to do for the holidays had been inviting Dimitri and Naus up to Vermont along with the people from Ravyn’s side that she had wanted to attend. Their house was plenty big enough to hold a big group and they held Christmas Eve there every year. Then the guests would either find a room in the house or rent a hotel (often Dimitri and Nausicca) and then would be there for present-opening in the morning.

It had been a nice Christmas Eve and after Lucah had set up all of the presents from “Grandfather Krechaun” as Luc had been taught or Santa Claus as he referred to him to the little half-Russian, half-Romanian girl. She was born in Vermont and raised there so though he taught her a few things about her culture, he still used American customs. The cookies were laid out and he’d tucked the tiny toddler into her room before heading off to bed himself.

The morning finally arrived (after having gotten up for a bathroom break to eat the cookies). At nine-thirty in the morning, Jessamine came waddling into the room and pounced on the bed where Lucah was lying. Ravyn laughed quietly, her eyes still closed, “Looks like someone is ready to open presents.” Her voice was muffled by the pillows beneath her, but Luc could hear the amusement and adoration in her tone. It was the same tone he often used when talking to or about his daughter.

Luc buried his face deeper into the pillows, attempting to melt into them so he could go back to sleep. Jessi had different plans though and hopped up and down on him repeatedly until he finally rolled over and scooped her up, pulling her down to tickle her. He could hear the chuckle coming from Dimitri as he stood in the doorway looking over the two, “Come now, son. You wouldn’t want to keep her waiting would you?” He asked with yet another chuckle.

Shooting a mock glare up at his father, Luc cracked a smile, “You’re probably right. But if I’m going to get up, Mommy has to as well.” The little girl slid off the bed and landed on her feet, waddling once more out the door as Lucah rolled back over to face Ravyn. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her up against him, “Come on baby, time to wake up.” His lips pressed against her temple and he kissed down her cheek to her neck.

Ravyn giggled and turned her head to face him, “I’m awake nowww. I guess I should probably go make breakfast before we get on with the present-opening huh?”

Lucah nodded and kissed her cheek before rolling off the bed and stretching, his porcelain skin reflecting the light coming in through the window. He went to the dresser and pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt then made his way out the bedroom door. Once he began walking down the hallway he could hear Jessamine’s giggle and Jezebel’s crooning. He smiled upon entering the room and ruffled both girls’ hair. Snatching the Santa Claus hat from the top of the television, he placed it on his head giving a low, “Ho ho ho.” Ravyn came out shortly in shorts and a t-shirt and Lucah just watched her as she walked into the kitchen.

Jezebel snapped to get his attention and pointed to the presents, “C’mon Luc! I wanna see what Jessi got!” Jessamine clapped and rambled in her own little language as she watched her father gather the presents and sort them out next to the people they were for.

Once Ravyn came back into the room and sat in a chair, Luc sat down by her feet and handed her a present while getting himself one. On the count of three, they all opened their presents. Dimitri hadn’t wanted anything so he merely got several cards and pictures to take back to Romania with him and Nausiica. Jezebel got a CD from one of her favorite groups. Jessamine got a little baby doll that looked just like her and Ravyn and Luc both got a gift card for a restaurant. They repeated this until the only one left with presents was Jessi and one for Ravyn that Luc was waiting to give her after everyone left. Jessamine opened her last few presents, totally thrilled with all of them that she wanted to open the packages all right then.

Luc had been successful in his shopping and he was happy that everyone else seemed pleased with their gifts. He received several new instruments and couldn’t have been happier.

___________________________________________________________________________

Later that day after Dimitri and Nausiica went off to the airport, Lucah and Ravyn took Jessamine to her uncle Noah’s. They spent the rest of the night there, opening presents, having dinner and sharing stories. Jessamine showed signs of tiredness around eight and the couple took that as a sign to leave. They got her home and tucked her away into bed.

Now was the time that Lucah had really been waiting for. He’d planned it out perfectly over the past few weeks and now was his time to execute it. Though they’d been married for a good five or so years, Lucah hadn’t lost that initial attraction to her. He still saw her just the way he had when they were teenagers, and though he was nearing the middle-aged mark, he still thought like a teenage boy when he was with her. No pregnancy could change her looks.

After Ravyn came back from Jessamine’s room, Lucah had already set out the candles and was holding his guitar. As she walked into the room, Lucah saw her face brighten. She always got that look in her eyes when he did something unexpected. His fingers began strumming out the chords of their song and he began singing. “Stay with me. Baby stay with me, tonight don’t leave me alone. Walk with me. Come and walk with me to the edge of all we’ve ever known,” The words flowed out of his mouth and her eyes filled with tears. He continued on with the song until she was standing right in front of him. “Just kiss me slowly,” He whispered when the song ended.

The tears that had been gathering in her eyes slid down her cheeks and after he set the guitar down, she lunged at him, her arms wrapping around his neck. Lucah placed his hands on her hips and kissed her shoulder as she clung to him. It was the exact reaction he’d been wanting to see from her. The tears had only added to it. She pulled back to look at him and rested her forehead against his, “Lucah, this has to be one of the sweetest things you’ve done for me. Is this my present?” She asked quietly.

Luc shook his head and reached in his back pocket to pull out the little velvet box that held a simple silver necklace with her birthstone, “This is your real present. I thought it would be different than all of the heirlooms I’ve given you. Do you like it babe?”

Smiling wider and sniffling through the tears, “I love it Luc. Will you put it on me?” She pulled her hair up off her neck, her back facing him. His fingers slipped around her neck as he clasped the necklace to hang at the hollow of her throat.

“Merry Christmas, dulce mea,” He whispered in her ear before kissing her lips gently.


((Not exactly my best work, but I suppose it will work))

[Adrianna Carstyn]

The Day I Met My Everything

Hammel was a weird place to be as an eleven year old. A very weird place filled with people that were a lot alike and had strange powers. It wasn’t a bad place to be, but for her own reasons, Adrianna was none too pleased to be there. Between her mother being diagnosed with something she assumed was bad considering everyone’s reaction and her father leaving and her finding out he wasn’t even really her father, well she’d much rather be at home so that she could take care of her mother. Amelia wasn’t in very poor condition, but knowing that she was sick made Adrian worried.

She was still getting used to the campus and her dorm room and everything, it was a very large place and there were kids that looked much older than her. Everyone had been nice thus far, but she wasn’t so sure it would stay that way. Adrian was a naïve girl, one that liked to see the good in everybody because she was sure that everyone had positive traits. There were a few that seemed to be harder to get through, but she knew if someone was willing to work at it, they’d find those traits.

As she wandered aimlessly through the school on a day where her classes were only in the morning, she came across a huge auditorium where the orientation had been held. She remembered it vaguely, but hadn’t really been paying a whole lot of attention to her surroundings in the beginning. At that point, all she had known was that her head hurt and she was scared. Now that she was in the huge place, she saw the stage, the lights above and the red velvet curtains. It reminded her of pictures she’d seen of her mother when she was a dancer. The stage was much the same and it inspired Adrian.

The preteen girl climbed up the stairs and stood center stage in first position. She hummed to herself, spinning around as she performed a waltz step alone. Her eyes closed and she danced around carelessly, ignoring the rest of the world as it slipped away from her. Once she stopped, she stood there for a moment imagining what it must have been like to dance in front of thousands of people. Adri never would have been able to do it, her stage fright always got to her when she tried out for solos and often she liked to blend in with the background while dancing.

As she stood there, she heard a quiet, unsure throat clearing coming from the audience. Adrian’s eyes snapped open and she saw a boy rubbing anxiously at his arm, his eyes cast down. His expression seemed apologetic, and he appeared nervous. Unable to be angry with him, she simply watched as he cautiously made his way towards her. Occasionally he would look up at her and then look right back down at his feet. He stood in front of the stage and looked up at her, this time keeping eye contact, “I-I’m sorry for interrupting, I just saw you come in and then you started dancing and I…well yeah…” He trailed off and shoved his hands into his pockets.

Adrianna giggled and sat on the edge of the stage, “You don’t haveta be sorry silly. I was just movin’ around. Nothin’ special.” Her legs swung back and forth as she watched him. Her head tilted to the side as he continued to stand there in silence. “I’m Adrianna by the way. Or Adrian, or Adri or well a lot of things I guess. What’s your name?”

The boy looked up at her with light blue eyes that matched the morning sky. His hair was dark and he had high cheekbones and long lashes for a boy. He was cute. He chewed on the inside of his cheek before deciding to answer, “Venn. Venn Hensley. You can’t really shorten it a whole lot.” He shrugged it off and looked back at the ground as if it was going to get up and leave.

Adri pondered his name for a minute and her face brightened, “You may not be able to shorten it, but I have a good nickname for ya. How ‘bout I call you Venny? Or do you totally hate it?” She asked with a giggle. Even if he did, she was going to call him that. Venny suited him better she thought. It made him sound younger than Venn did. Venn was a very strong, brute-ish sounding name and though she liked it a lot, she always liked to personalize names as best she could. So Venny it would be.

Venn raised an eyebrow at her and cracked the first hint of a smile, “I totally hate it, but I guess I’ll deal. So where are ya from Adri?” He asked pulling himself up on the stage to sit beside her.

Adrianna watched him push himself up to sit beside her and she smiled when he did. He had a pretty smile, even if it wasn’t a full one. She sat on her hands and swayed back and forth, “I’m from California. Not the richy rich part, but the more middle class part. How about you? Are you a Vermontian or are you from somewhere else? You strike me as a coastal boy.” Not because she really knew what coastal people looked like, but by his tan skin, she had a feeling he was.

“I’m from Miami, Florida. Good eye you have there, how’d you know?” Venn asked looking at her.

Adrian shrugged, “I’m just cool like that. You realize most coastal people are tan right? I mean unless they are like native American or somethin’.” She looked at him and nudged him, “You know, I haven’t really met very many people here, w-will you be my friend?” It was blunt, but it was a way to find out and she really liked him already. There was just something about the way he came off that she found interesting.

Venn smiled wider and nodded, “Of course I’ll be your friend. As long as you’ll be my best friend? Do we have a deal?” He stuck his hand out for her to take and when she took it they both laughed.

“Best friends forever and always.”

[Adrianna Carstyn]

How Much Do You Love Me?
(Set 2015)


Three years. That was over a thousand days that the young couple had been together and Adrian was still waiting for a ring. She was in college, focused heavily on her career choice, they were both adults and clearly in love. So why hadn't he proposed yet? Adrian had been waiting for a few months, but Venn acted as if he was completely oblivious to the idea of marriage. Typical for any guy she assumed.

Around the time that she started wondering if they'd get married, she also found out a rather life-altering thing. Adrianna was pregnant. For fear of him leaving her behind, she hadn't told him yet and she didn't particularly want to. She was afraid he'd turn out just like her father and leave her on her own with the baby. Sure, she wasn't as young as her mother and this wasn't high school, but it was still a scary thing for someone so unsure of how to be a mother herself.

Three months after finding out it happened to be their three year anniversary. The bump was already starting to form, but she had been good about hiding it. There was no need for baggy clothes, but lots of layers (thankfully it was near winter) and sucking in her abdomen. It wasn't a giant bump, not by a long shot, but it was enough to raise suspicion if he looked closely enough. Today was the day that she planned on telling him. No matter what she knew that someone would be there to help her take care of the unborn child. Whether she went back home or stuck close and stayed in college, she had enough people in her life that wouldn't mind lending a hand. She didn't think Venn would really leave either, but if he did, she had a back-up plan.

Spending about an hour or so just to get ready, she came out of their bedroom to find him pacing the floor intently. At first she was sure he had found out, but when he looked at her his expression went from nervous to ecstatic. Venn walked towards her and reached out to hug her. Adrian wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled, relieved that he was still in the dark.

Venn pecked her lips, "You look perfect, Adri." He pulled her closer and buried his face in the crook of her neck, breathing her in. She always smelled of candy apples and he often found himself craving the sweetness of it. There was no better smell in the world to him than the smell of candy apples all because of her. He was glad to know that Adrian was all his thanks to that promise they had made ten years ago.

Adrianna giggled and hugged him tight, "I had to look perfect for you, love. Otherwise you might go looking for something else," She pointed out with a smirk. There was a hint of honest fear behind her words, but it wouldn't make an appearance tonight. She had to think positively now and hope for the best possible outcome. If Venn loved her as much as she thought, he'd stay with her through anything.

Venn flashed her a grin and shook his head, "I don't want anything else. I've already got it all." He tugged at her hand and they stepped out into the brisk autumn air of Vermont. The plan was to walk around Pilot Ridge to all the places where they shared their firsts. Once they went to Hammel, Adrian would take him to the fountain and tell him the news. From there, they would determine what their future would hold.

They strolled leisurely through downtown Pilot Ridge, the calm before the storm. Adrian wrapped both arms around Venn's arm and watched him as he pointed to each spot that had some significant memory of the two of them. He remembered just about everything that happened in the past three years. That had to be love, right?

Finally, they came to the school where they first met. Venn took her straight to the auditorium where they promised they would be best friends forever and where they shared their first kiss. As they stood there remembering those important days, Adri prepared herself mentally for the end of it all. Tears started to fill her eyes, but she pawned them off as tears of happiness. After a few moments it was her that tugged him away and out to the fountain in the courtyard.

Venn sat down in his normal spot and went to pull her down beside him, but instead she paced the ground in front of him just like she had three years ago. Deja vu. He laughed softly, but his eyebrows were pulled together in concern as she continued to pace back and forth. "Adri? What's wrong?"

She gulped and fidgeted, coming to a halt in front of him. "Th-there's something I need to tell you. I-I don't know how you'll take it, but you should know..." Venn stood and wrapped his arms around her, his eyes clear and she could see that he was ready to accept anything she said to him. Biting her lower lip, she whispered, "Venny...I'm pregnant."

Before she knew it, he pulled back and looked down at her. She couldn't decipher his expression. It was a mask of total indifference for a few seconds that passed by almost painfully as she waited. Eventually she saw his features transform from indifference to a blinding happiness. Venn took her in his arms and hugged her, swinging her around, before stopping abruptly. "We're going to be parents? Really?" He loosened his grip as not to hurt her or the baby and put his hand on her stomach gently. Sure enough, he could feel the little bump.

The expression on his face was full of adoration and the way he was acting was contagious. Adrianna smiled and nodded as she placed her hand over his. "We're going to be parents Venny! Can you believe it?" She asked with a sudden burst of excitement. Ever since she'd been told that she was pregnant, she had been doused with an icy fear that he would leave, but now she could finally be excited and happy.

He placed his hands on the side of her face and kissed her, "How much do you love me, baby?" Venn asking in a soft murmur against her lips. If he was going to do it, now was the time.

"More than anything, well besides this little one, why?" She asked.

Reaching into his pocket, Venn pulled out a little velvet box, got down on one knee and opened it, "Enough to marry me?"

Adrian's eyes widened and her hand came up to cover her heart. After three long years, she only had one word to say to him, "Yes."

[Jacelynn Heron]

There Are Worse Things I Could Do
(Like a previous writing challenge, I'm using the lyrics as dialogue to tell the story, hope it turns out okay!)



This whole situation was messy. Between the feelings she was developing for Aiden that terrified her and Kiara hating her because of the feelings she was developing for Aiden. Honestly, it was a wonder she hadn't spontaneously combust. It was a lot of drama and she was one to steer clear of anything that would cause drama. But she really liked Aiden and it was almost worth it.

Unfortunately, Jacelynn couldn't live with herself if she kept going through with it while Kiara was so hurt. It just wasn't in her. The only way she could squash this thing would be if she talked to Aiden about it, so she sent him a quick text to meet her at her dorm so they could discuss this.

She sat on her bed, rubbing at her arms nervously. How was she going to end it? She didn't want to end it, but would Ki ever accept them together? It just didn't seem like it. There was a tap at her door and her eyes snapped up. Aiden's face peered in and he flashed her a smile, "Hey Jace, what's up?"

"Aiden we need to talk. It's about Kiara..." She began, motioning for him to sit as she stood up. Jacelynn just couldn't do it if she was so close to him.

He sighed, "Not this again. Jace, Kiara won't be mad about this forever, she's just hurt because of me. It's got nothing to do with you."

Jacelynn shook her head back and forth, the area beneath her eyes stinging. No, she wouldn't cry. Not now. "Just listen to me okay?" Taking a deep breath, turned away from him and folded her hands behind her back, "There are worse things I could do than go with a boy or two. Even though, the whole school thinks I'm trashy and no good, I suppose it could be true, but there are worse things I could do."

Aiden made to interrupt her, but she held a hand up and gave him a pleading look, "I could flirt with all the guys, smile and them and bat my eyes. Press against them when we dance, make them think they stand a chance then refuse to see it through," She paused and shook her head, "That's a thing I'd never do."

"I could stay home every night. Wait around for Mr. Right, take cold showers everyday and throw my life away on a dream that won't come true," Tears began to fill her eyes and she looked down. Aiden came up to her and reached for her hand, he said nothing, but just the comfort of his presence made the tears subside.

Jace looked up at him and bit her lip, "I could hurt someone like me out of spite or jealousy....I don't steal and I don't lie, but I can feel and I can cry." A fact she'd bet he never knew... "But to cry in front of you...god Aiden, that's the worst thing I could do." Her lip trembled and she rested her forehead against his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "I can't do this anymore. Kiara doesn't deserve this and neither do you. This isn't working..."

Aiden pulled back and looked down at her, "Jace, you're the one that I want."



((So to those whose characters were involved, I apologize if they have been butchered, but there it is!! Enjoy!))

[Adrianna Carstyn]

Never Say Never
(Eventually the situation may be canon, but the things that happen will probably not be)


It was only a matter of time before this day came. The day when Adrianna felt like she'd never be whole again. She'd been forewarned so that she could live the last few months with her mother to the fullest and she had. That didn't make it any easier to say goodbye. Even if she'd been given longer than six months, it still wouldn't have been easy to say goodbye to the person who had been such a constant in her life. Now that constant was gone and Adrian felt more alone than ever.

The night it happened, Adrian hadn't even been in the room. Several of her friends had gone to California with her when her mother really took a turn for the worst and Adri hadn't said much throughout the whole week she was there. She wasn't eating, she rarely slept and she even more rarely left the room. Lani and Venn were both getting worried about her as she lost more weight and the circles under her eyes began to darken further. Adrian hadn't been herself in months, but this was a shell of the girl that had been there before.

Usually her expression was that of blankness, there was nothing there as she stared at her mother, whispering and repeating, begging her mother not to leave her. It was heartbreaking to watch. Lani could only imagine how he'd be if this had been him and Caroline, he knew it would be much the same and he knew very little would take him out of the state Adrian was currently in. Amelia was practically a second mother to Venn and though he wasn't nearly in the state Adrianna was in, he was taking it fairly hard as well.

The second day Amelia had been in the hospital, a surprise visitor came to the room and it set Adrianna off to the point that security had the man leave because Adrian claimed he wasn't her father. Lani and Venn had both taken turns holding her that night as she cried in frustration. That was before all of the tears had dried up. The strain between the two boys had dissipated in the sudden tragedy that had taken over and they accepted each other's presence for Adrian's sake. Fighting would only make things worse.

The day that it happened, Xavier, Adrian's father had tried coming back again and refused to leave until he had a chance to talk to her. Lani and Venn promised to watch over Amelia while she talked to him. She stood just in the hallway a little ways away from her mother's room while Xavier attempted to apologize and explain.

Both boys awaiting her return began to get restless and irritable, the tension was growing thicker, but they remained silent. Through the shut door, they could both hear the argument between Adrianna and her father and both of them were dying to go save her, but knew it was best for them to talk it out. As Adrian let out an anguished scream, Amelia's heart monitor went chaotic, but in just a short moment stopped altogether.

Lani and Venn looked at each other just as a doctor and several nurses came busting through the door. With Adrianna just a few feet away, both boys bolted for the door both intent on keeping Adrian out of there while the doctors tried to start her mother's heart again. Venn got to her first and as he hugged her she questioned him, misinterpreting his urgency for excitement, thinking that her mother was awake. Adrianna looked up at him with hope finally restored in her dark brown eyes, "Is she awake? Can I see her?"

Venn looked over his shoulder at Lani, both of them ready to break from their own sadness. It was Lani who answered her question, while tears slid down Venn's cheeks. "Adrianna, she...she's gone."

The color drained from her face, and her eyes widened. Looking frantically towards the door she saw the doctor walking out with a solemn expression, headed straight for her. Lani was already in action and went to talk to the doctor, to keep him away from Adrian because he knew she wouldn't be able to handle it. Meanwhile, she thrashed against Venn's grip and took off towards the door, halting in the doorway and falling to her knees as she saw her mother's body covered with a white sheet. Her screams echoed down the hallway and she began to cry out, "Mommy, no! Don't leave me please!"

Venn walked over to her and pulled her up from the ground and into his arms. Adrian buried her face in his shoulder and repeated over and over again, "Come back." After he finished getting the paperwork from the doctor, Lani came over, setting the clipboard on the chair outside of the room and patted her back lightly, tears filling his own eyes.

[Adrianna Carstyn]

((Here's another one of my lyric stories based on the song Just Give Me a Reason by P!nk. Enjoy))


Just Give Me a Reason

Things were getting difficult. Over the course of a few months, Adrianna had noticed the distance growing between her and Lani. It had been just over a year they’d been together and it was the longest relationship the two teens had been in. As far as the two of them knew the other was happy with the relationship, but at the same time Adrian had this distant feeling and she couldn’t figure out what it was. Typically she’d have confronted him about it by now, but her fear of pushing him away further had her keeping it to herself. The last thing she needed was for him to leave her.

One day after classes were over and Adrian had done her daily workout, she went up to her room and changed. Checking her phone, she saw a missed text from Lani asking if she’d come over after she was finished. Once she showered and changed she headed down to his room and tapped on the door lightly. Her stomach was churning with fear and she couldn’t pinpoint what reason she had for feeling so afraid that it was about to go horribly wrong.

The door opened, revealing the blonde boy and his cloudy gray eyes. Just looking at him gave her butterflies and she reached for him just as he was reaching for her. Despite the fear in the pit of her stomach, she was comforted by his warmth. She pulled back from the embrace and kissed his cheek before walking in.

Lani led her to his room, past the other boys in the common room. One of them whistled and she rolled her eyes along with Lani who shot the boy a dirty look before shutting his door. Then he turned back to the dark haired girl as she sat down on his bed, fidgeting. Lani knelt down in front of her and brushed his thumb across her cheekbone, “What’s with the anxiety?”

Adrian closed her eyes as she felt his fingertips against her skin. It was the most intimate contact they’d had in a while and she couldn’t help reveling in it. She took his hand from her face and laced their fingers together as her eyes slowly opened. Her eyes strayed up to his and it was like staring into the face of an early morning before the clouds dissipate and the sun peeks out. His eyes were so painfully beautiful that she was having trouble forming the words. Finally, she found them and spoke softly, “Honestly, I was a little worried when you asked me to come here.”

Lani’s eyebrows furrowed and he looked at her in confusion, “But why would that worry you?”

Adrian frowned and looked away. What was she supposed to tell him? That she had just been waiting for him to break up with her? She could always beat him to it. She sighed, “Right from the start you were a thief…”

“Is that what this is ab-“ He interrupted.

She held up a finger and continued, hoping he would understand what she was trying to say. “You stole my heart and I, your willing victim, I let you see the parts of me that weren’t all that pretty.” She could see him visibly relax and a faint smile crossed his lips. “And with every touch you fixed them…. Now, you’ve been talking in your sleep, saying things you never say to me…” Her eyes lowered again and tears filled them, “Oh tell me that you’ve had enough of our love. Just give me a reason, just a little bit’s enough.”

His eyes seemed to darken with his expression and he frowned as she went on. “We’re not broken just bent and we can learn to love again. It’s in the stars…. It’s been written in the scars on our hearts, Lani we’re not broken, just bent. And we can learn to love again. Please,” She begged through her tears. He sat beside her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and she curled up into his chest.

Feeling her heart beating frantically, he pressed his lips to her forehead and tried calming her. After a few tries of calming her with soothing sounds, he gave up. “I’m sorry I don’t understand where all of this is coming from. I thought that we were fine, Adrianna.”

“We had everything,” She whispered in response and looked up at him as he turned his eyes to hers.

“Your head is running wild again. We still have everything, and it’s all in your mind,” Lani spoke softly as he kissed her temple. His hand smoothed back her hair and he rubbed her back as tears continued sliding down her cheeks. He had to admit, this was all rather shocking to him.

Adrian wiped at her eyes and frowned, “Yeah, but this is happening….You’ve been having real bad dreams. You used to lie so close to me and now there’s nothing more than empty sheets between our love.” The tears continued falling and she buried her face into his chest, repeating what she said before, “Just give me a reason, just a little bit’s enough. We’re not broken just bent and we can learn to love again!” Her tone turned to desperation and his heart broke.

Lani’s arms tightened around her and he kissed her forehead, “I’ll fix it for us. We’re collecting dust, but our love’s enough. You’re holding it in. No nothing is as bad as it seems. We’ll come clean. We’re not broken, Adrian. We’re just bent and we will learn to love again. I’m sorry I scared you.”

She looked up at him and wrapped her arms tight around his neck before kissing him softly, “If anything ever comes up though, you have to tell me.” He nodded and she curled up in his lap as he calmed her down.

[Jacelynn Heron]

Let Me Love You

It wasn’t supposed to be this hard. Relationships were supposed to be easy and full of love and adoration, not pain and confusion. Jacelynn couldn’t catch a break in any relationship she decided to have. She finally had the man of her dreams doting on her and she couldn’t even be happy about it. Because he wasn’t the man of her dreams, he was the man of her mother’s dream for her. The perfect man that Llana was looking for, the one she wanted her daughter to end up with. And what did Jace do when her mother pushed her to do something? She rebelled against it in any way she found necessary. What if this was the same thing?

Jace didn’t know what she wanted. She thought she really cared for Alessandro and perhaps she did, but was it in a way that made her want to get serious with him? Nothing made her want that it seemed. She was content with solitude and though she hated the thought of being alone, it seemed like that was when she thrived. Ever since she met him, she felt obligated to stop talking and flirting with other guys. Even back when they were merely casually dating. Not long after he took her to meet his parents and that was when she started feeling the pressure of what he really must have thought, what he must have wanted. A serious, lasting relationship; but didn’t he see that it was a long shot she’d be able to handle something like that? Les didn’t know her well enough to know just how unlikely it was to be in a serious relationship with her because she refused to speak about her awful past with men.

And to make matters worse, she had been thinking of someone else this whole entire time of sitting at the lake, flipping through pictures. It wasn’t Alessandro that filled her mind, it wasn’t even Jackson. The striking features, bleach blonde hair and intense eyes, they might as well have been from a fictional character with as often as she saw them anymore. But he wasn’t fictional, and she had the proof in the picture she held. One picture of him was more than a hundred pictures of someone else. Yet she hadn’t seen him in months because for a reason she didn’t know, he’d been avoiding her.

Jacelynn tended to blame herself really, thinking that they could be friends when the original plan had been screw pals more than anything. She complicated things that didn’t need complicating. She brushed her thumb across his face in the photo and sighed, setting it down in the box and placing the lid over it. Jace couldn’t bear looking at him anymore because the knot in her throat was the size of a softball. It was sad to say that she wasn’t the same without him. They were so oddly similar in some aspects, but vastly different in others.

She pulled her knees up to her chest and settled her chin in the gap between them. The lake fit her mood perfectly, the calm before the storm, but she couldn’t quite figure out what the storm would be. Would Les find out how messed up she was? Or would she give in to what her mother wanted and end up in a marriage with someone she only sort of loved? Jace let out a sigh and her eyes scanned the area, her ears having picked up footsteps heading in her general direction. She glanced over her shoulder and saw a figure walking along the shoreline, an orange glowing coming from what she assumed was a cigar or cigarette, near the person’s mouth. Jace was taking a wild guess of it being a man, seeing as how she didn’t see many girls smoke around here, it was also in the sound of the steps. Even the most graceful men had heavier footsteps than any women. Her eyes strayed back to the lake just as she heard a very grumpy, “Of course,” pass through the man’s lips.

The voice clicked somewhere in her mind, but she couldn’t quite place it. It was clear as day to her, but the familiarity wasn’t reaching her. Jacelynn lifted her eyes again and she could have sworn she saw a ghost. But it wasn’t a ghost, or a fictional character...it was him. And she didn’t know what to do, so she sat there, acting oblivious to him just as he flicked off the glowing ash of the cigarette and it blew over towards her. She swatted it away, to keep from being burned. Finally he was close enough that she knew it really was him. He was real and he had come to a place that he knew she’d be at. She just didn’t understand why.

The blonde creeped closer, eyes still far away, but he had to know he was coming dangerously close to her. He knew she was there, she knew he did, but he was acting like she was invisible. Jace pushed herself off the ground, frustration finally getting the better of her. She left the box of pictures there, and stomped over to him. It wasn’t until she was practically standing right in front of him that he seemed to acknowledge her. Even when he looked at her, he remained silent which only angered her further. “Good to know you decided to grace the little people with your presence,” She snapped, her hands placed on her hips. Jace didn’t know what to expect as an answer.

“Jacelynn, always a pleasure,” that was all he had to say. Really? She wanted to slap him. How could he stand there and act as though she was nothing to him? It wasn’t like she had expected him to embrace her or anything like that, but she thought they had been friends at the very least. He barely even looked her in the eye, it was only when he spoke that he met her irritated gaze. And as soon as he finished speaking he looked out toward the lake again.

She gave a humorless laugh and shook her head, “Wow, really? That’s all you have to say? Are you fucking kidding me?”

His expression was one of boredom as usual and she could have hit him right then and there. She had never felt so completely inconsequential around someone other than her mother and here she thought he’d never treat her like this. Like she was some random girl he could care less about. But maybe that was what she’d become to him. Insignificant.

“What would you rather me say? Seeing as how you’re being incredibly rude,” Carter met eyes with her and he looked like he would rather be anywhere but here.

Jacelynn’s jaw dropped, “Says the one who’s done everything he possibly can to avoid me!”

He frowned, the first real sign of any emotion she’d seen from him. Digging in his pocket for the cigarette package, he snagged one and placed it between his lips, lighting it. He drew a long puff in and let it out slowly along with a sigh. “Look, it was necessary okay? I think it’s best for us to just not talk anymore...”
Jace’s expression turned from angry to slightly less irritated to kicked puppy in a matter of moments. She knew things were bad, but she hadn’t known it was bad enough that he just altogether wanted nothing to do with her. If anything she expected a little more fight out of him, a screaming match or something a little more heated at the very least. Yet here he was, rolling over on his back and just flat out giving up. What had she done to screw things up this horribly?

As if he could hear what she was thinking, he pinched the bridge of his nose, the cigarette resting between his lips as he spoke again. “Jace, it’s just better this way. I don’t want to ruin things for you.”

“Ruin things? Are you kidding? That’s exactly what you’re doing right now!” He was ruining any chance she had at being close to someone that understood all of her, not just the parts she showed to everyone. Hell, he knew her better than her own boyfriend, her own parents even.

He shook his head, “No, not with us. With you and that Alessandro guy you’re dating. I’ll get in the way of the happy ending you wish to have.”

Carter didn’t seem to get that the happy ending she wanted wasn’t with Alessandro...it was with him. Jacelynn couldn’t bring herself to say it though. She couldn’t tell him that because then she would sound cliche and that was the last thing she needed. “What do you care? You think I’m stupid for even wanting something like that. You said so yourself, we’re not cut from the relationship cloth. You’re just waiting for it to fail anyway.”

“No,” He snapped at her. It was the first time she’d ever seen a flash of anger from him at all. Like she had struck a nerve that she didn’t even know existed.

Jace hesitated and looked down, “Well then what Carter? Why does it matter if we’re friends while I’m with him? He doesn’t care.” At least, she didn’t think he would. He hadn’t ever acted possessive or jealous. Even if he did, she didn’t care. She couldn’t handle not having Carter a phone call away if she needed him. It was probably selfish of her, but she wasn’t even sure how she felt about Les and it wouldn’t hurt as much if she lost him than it would if she lost Cart. Just that thought alone made her feel guilty. Alessandro could do better than her.

Carter flicked the cigarette away, and shoved his hands in his pockets. “We can’t be friends, Jace. Just let it go,” And there he was, pushing her away. He stepped back and rubbed the back of his neck, “I should get going, I didn’t tell Dom where I was heading off to, wouldn’t want to worry him.” Just then, he turned on his heel and began his slow trek towards his car.

She stood there, a total wreck for a brief moment until she decided against playing victim. Jace couldn’t just let him go again. Last time he walked away he refused to see or talk to her for months it seemed. He may have thought it was for the best, but she didn’t think so. In fact, she knew he was wrong. They could do this, they could be friends and she wasn’t going to let him walk away again.
Jace jogged to catch up to him, tears in her eyes and a few falling down her cheeks. She grabbed his arm, “Cart stop, please. I can’t....I can’t just let it go. I can’t let you walk away again, please.” The tears really started falling now and she dropped his arm, her hands coming up to cover her face. Why was she crying so much? She wasn’t this girl. She didn’t cry like this.

But it seemed to have some effect on Carter.

He pulled her hands away from her face carefully and wiped at her tears, “Jacelynn, stop crying. I’m doing this because I don’t want you to lose something you care so much about. I know you think I understand you better than anyone else, but that’s only because you opened up to me. You just have to open up to him and he’ll know you the way you want.”

“Don’t you get it?” She said through her tears, looking up at him. “It’s not the same.... Why do you keep pushing me away? What did I do wrong?”

Carter took a deep breath and cupped her face, “It’s not something you did, it’s me. I...I just have to get over something before we can really be friends like you want.”

Jacelynn frowned, “What could you possibly have to get over? Gosh why can’t you just stop doing this!”

“I’m trying to get over you, Jace!” He finally snapped at her after she pulled his hands away from her face.

She froze.

Carter sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to get between you and Alessandro.”

Jacelynn folded her arms across her chest and watched him, “What if I was already getting between us without any help from you? It wasn’t going to last, Carter. You know how I am.” She sighed and looked away. If he was trying to get over her, she shouldn’t tell him that she had feelings for him. it would make things more difficult and she couldn’t live with herself if she lost him for that reason. Jace wasn’t sure how to go about this situation. Things were complicated and she wasn’t used to it.

“Why would you do that? I thought he was perfect for you?”

“Yeah, well I have someone else that I’ve got a thing for...” She said softly.

Carter stared at her blankly, like he hadn’t caught onto what she was saying. He had to know what she was saying, he had to understand. Jacelynn stepped a little closer to him and he tensed the slightest bit. She kept a little distance and let out a small sigh, “It’s you, Cart. And I know that it won’t change your mind, but I thought you should know at least.”

Cart continued to stare at her and just as she was about to really leave, he grabbed her wrist and tugged her a bit closer. She looked up at him with wide eyes, shock making it impossible to move. Slowly, he reached up to cup her cheek, sliding his thumb across her skin as he moved his hand to tilt her chin up. Her heart sped up and she could feel her face flushing, tingling where he touched her. He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers briefly and pulled back all too soon. For the first time in the months that she’d known him, she saw him really smile and she still couldn’t move. “You assume far too much.”

Jace hesitantly reached up and looped her arms around his neck and hugged him. At first it was a loose, friendly hug, but the more she realized how much she missed him, the tighter the hug got. He folded his arms around her waist and returned the embrace just as tightly.

Could she really get her happy ending like this? She didn’t care because she was hugging her prince, the one she’d been waiting for.

[Layla Harlow]

((Though this is very non-canon, I couldn't help myself. Luck <3))

Wild Ones

One Halloween Dance, one break up, one broken heart. It was high school, something she was very used to by now. It didn't affect her as much as she had expected, maybe because she was numb from all of the things that had happened in the past few weeks. Her parents kicking her out, going to the dance with Jack, kissing him, Riley finding out. Things had gone horribly wrong in a very short amount of time, yet she didn't cry. She didn't even let herself sulk for long. Sophie wouldn't allow it.

That was somethings he was thankful for, her best friend. Sophie had been so understanding when Layla explained the situation. Riley was just so up and down, she needed stability. Jack, he offered that stability in a screwed up way. He was a constant, constantly crazy and easy-going. How could she resist something like that in a world of turmoil? Sure, she thought he loved Riley, but when it came down to it, she didn't like being strung along, beaten and battered the whole way. Still, she hoped for the best for him. That he found someone he loved whole-heartedly and that he got Kalila out of that house. She'd do anything for both of them, but as of late, he didn't seem to want anything to do with her.

She understood and she didn't let it bother her as much as it would have otherwise.

As she lay in her room, the one she was claiming at Sophie's house, she heard something coming from outside and she sat up to look out the window. It sent a sharp pang through her heart remembering how her ex used to clamber up the side of her house to her window and sneak in. But she was pleasantly surprised to find someone else, someone she hadn't seen in the past two weeks since the insanity at the dance. Her face lit up, but fell slightly when she realized the reason behind why she hadn't seen him. The guilt poked at her conscience and she sighed. Why should she feel bad for liking someone else? Someone that was around more than the other had been?

She stood up, sporting zebra print booty shorts and a cut-off tank top. It was her do nothing day and seeing as how he was just chilling out on the balcony, she didn't have much time to change. Oh well, it didn't matter anyway. Layla walked over to the doors to the balcony and opened them, hugging herself from the cold. Jack rubbed the back of his neck and looked up at her as if asking for permission and she moved out of the way to let him in. After he entered her room, she shut the doors and shivered. Fall weather was setting in.

Jack stood there awkwardly, the first time she'd seen him awkward since she met him. Giving him a once over, she sat down on her bed and patted the spot next to her. He slowly made his way over and sat beside her, keeping a little space between them. Unwanted space as far as she was concerned, but she made no move to eliminate it quite yet. He didn't look at her and she grew fairly uncomfortable in the silence. "What are you doing here?" She asked quietly, glancing down at her hands that were folded in her lap.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm stalking you," He offered half-heartedly smiling. It didn't reach his eyes and she frowned. Jack sobered up again and sighed, "I wanted to see how you were doing...I haven't seen you since.." He trailed off and she knew what he was referring to without much effort on her part. Though as he would see it, she was the one that could read his mind.

Layla nodded and bit her lower lip, "Look, I'm sorry I kind of bolted. I just had to sort things out and it took some time for that to happen." Though not as much as she had given him. She knew what she wanted days ago, but she didn't have the guts to call him and talk to him about it. Or ask him to come over. She was scared. Of what, she didn't know, but there was this icy feeling in her stomach that things wouldn't go her way and she'd end up heart-broken again for a different reason because of a different guy. The last thing she needed was to add Jack to the list of guys to kill for Sophie.

"And?" He asked, finally glancing up at her. "I got worried that the American Psycho got to you or something. Do you realize now just how creepy that guy is?" He shook his head and scratched the back of his neck, "Sorry. I know he wasn't creepy to you."

Giving him a snort, she shook her head, "No, he didn't try to kill me or anything. He was just really upset. And I mean, with good reason. We broke it off and, well, I haven't heard from him since." But that didn't answer his question. Had she sorted things out enough to tell him? Did she even want to tell him? What if his answer was no, or more likely fuck no? She couldn't handle something like that. "And I did sort things out. Or well, for the most part I think. For myself." She felt like an idiot, walking on eggshells like this. It wasn't her.

Jack sat there, waiting for her to continue. To elaborate on what had been sorted out in that insane mind of hers. After all, she was the mindreader, not him.

"Jack, d-do you regret the kiss?" She asked before she could answer. If anything she wanted to gauge his reaction. What if he did regret it? Then she couldn't tell him. And if he didn't? She still didn't know if she could find it in herself to tell him what she felt. She was so scared of rejection.

He turned to face her, closing a little bit of the space between them, "Of course not. I've been waiting to do that since...well, since I started dreaming weird shit about you. With the trees and all."

Layla laughed and looked over at him, "You've liked me that long huh?"

"Liked? Pfft, oh please. You're the one that has totally been throwing herself at me since we bumped into each other. If anything you're the stalker here," He smiled a little easier and nudged her a little. "It was kind of confusing, trying to figure out what that weird feeling in my stomach was. The 'butterflies.'"

Her cheeks burned and she played with her hair nervously. Before she even said anything, he took her hands away from her hair with one of his hands and tilted her chin up, "What are you thinking? You have to give me some insight, not all of us are as good at being psychic as you."

Layla gripped his hand and looked up at him with a smile, "Just thinking about how I didn't regret that kiss either...and how I kind of want to do it again. Oh and I know what you're thinking. Testicles, testicles, testicles." She smirked and leaned in to peck him on the lips. "Am I right?"

Jack's eyes widened and he shook his head, "I don't know how you do that, but we're definitely hitting up Mexi- I mean New Orleans." He smiled and kissed her again. "Glad to know that I could convince you to embrace the madness."

[Layla Harlow]

I Want Crazy

Who'd have thought that after going from one crazy psychopath that Layla would end up with an equally crazy, belongs-in-a-psych-ward guy. Maybe that was just her type. Crazy. A teensy bit jealous. Difficult to understand. Yup, it fit perfectly because she was no better than them. A crazy, psycho-whore that got jealous internally and then went on to get even because she was a reckless girl like that. It tended to drive her significant other a little more crazy than they already were. At least it made things interesting, if not fed into the insane sexual tension that she seemed to feel around them as it was.

Now that she was finally over the breakup between her and Riley, she found that it was easier to be with Jack. Granted she still felt a little empty without Kalila in her life any longer. Of course she understood that Riley wanted nothing to do with her and in short that meant Kali wasn't going to either, but it still struck her a lot harder than she expected it to. She'd enjoyed having a little sibling to take care of, it's what she'd always wanted. It had never been a possibility for her to have a sibling though, not with her parents being so stuck up and not in love. They didn't even sleep in the same bedroom, let alone have sex. It was pathetic.

Which was why she was thankful that her bestest friend in the whole entire world, Sophie, had given Layla her old room back after she moved out. A few days ago they'd redecorated making her new room look much like the room she'd had back when she was living with her parents. Batman was everywhere, along with a few Captain America posters. They left a bit of a bitter taste in her mouth what with her Halloween party, but she figured that she shouldn't just stop liking all of her favorite things because they reminded her of him. It wasn't worth giving up all of those things.

After getting back and settled into her room, Layla figured as good a way as any to rid the bitterness caused by her favorite heroes, was to create new memories with them surrounding her room. And by creating them, she needed him. She had been talking to him on and off after moving in and after he snuck up to her room almost a week ago. She missed him though, and she knew that the more she put off seeing him, the worst she'd feel about everything. In all of his insanity, he always made her feel better. Like the world wasn't really out to get her like she always seemed to think. So she called him and much to his amusement, begged him to come over for she had an insatiable need for his presence.

Only a short hour later, once she showered and became presentable to someone she wanted to keep interested, he showed up. His initial reaction to seeing her, eyes widening, mouth opening slightly, made her smile and she felt the tension she had built up slowly easing away. She too appraised him and was satisfied to find that he was still as attractive as ever. Who knew what it was about him that drew her him, but either way, she was hooked on his snark and all that came with it. He was sweet in his own way, just the way she liked it. Outright sweetness was boring, she liked working towards uncovering it herself.

"Well, well, well, just couldn't go without seeing me huh?" He said with a smirk as he stepped towards her, taking her in. He couldn't believe how beautiful she was, she always had been.

Layla had to roll her eyes at this, as she always did when he was playing arrogant. She knew there was something more to him than just snark and arrogance. Just as he knew there was more to her than bitchiness and sarcasm. They always somehow managed to equalize each other in that sense. But there was more to why she liked him than that. She loved the way that no matter what, he always stuck by her. He was there to make everything better, even if she was the one at fault. He never got angry with her and he never judged her for the decisions she made, reckless as they were. The thought caused her to smile.

"You act as though you didn't get her as fast as possible because you know you missed me," She smirked back at him before closing the distance and wrapping her arms around his waist to hug him tight. "I missed you a bunch, Jack. What can I say, I'm addicted to the madness." That was their thing. Madness, crazed insanity. That was them in all their Luck glory.

Jack looked down at her and smiled genuinely, "Alright, alright. You caught me. Damn you mind readers." He pressed his lips to her forehead and she blushed.

It was still weird to her. Of course she'd always known that Jack was a sweetheart and that no matter what everyone else saw, there was more to him than that. But to see it, to really see past his walls, she was amazed by what she saw and it made her heart squeeze because she was one of the few people that got a chance to see it. "Okay, enough mushy stuff! It's gaming tiiiime! I'ma beat your ass McCarthy!" She smiled at him and pulled back to set up her gaming station. "I'll have you know, I am master at Zombies. Legitimately a master."

He sat down on the edge of her bed, watching her as she set up the Xbox. She was so full of energy now, more energy than she had been in the recent time that he'd seen her after the breakup. Jack felt a little bit more confident by that because he liked to think he was the reason behind her sudden burst of enthusiasm. Like he was helping her really get over things by being with her. And the truth of the matter was, he was right. Him being there always made her feel loved and that's everything she'd ever wanted in life was to feel like someone actually cared for her. With all of her flaws. Granted, Riley had too, but they were constantly butting heads.

She turned back to him and handed him a controlled before flopping down beside him. The game started up and she tried her hardest to focus on the beatdown she had promised. But it was a bit difficult sitting so close to him. He on the other hand seemed to not be affected at all. And Layla, being the evil girl that she was, simply had to fix that.

Lay smirked before scooting closer to him, swinging her legs up so that they rested across his bent ones. He glanced up at her and she took him out in one fell swoop. "Ha! Gotcha," She gloated with a bright smile.

"Pfft, you cheated!" He exclaimed through narrowed eyes.

Layla shrugged as he respawned and focused on her next way of getting him back. Hm, she needed to be subtle about it, but she didn't quite know how. Eventually, she leaned into him, resting her cheek against his shoulder. His cheek rested against the top of her head, but that was the most that happened. It didn't even have an effect on his playing. Shit.

Jack leaned down to her level after she lifted her head and pressed his lips to her ear, "I know what you're doing, and if you keep it up, two can play at that game." He laughed and just before she knew it, his character got her.

"Fuck!" She pouted and waited to respawn. Layla glanced at him sideways and he was focused back on the game. She curled up closer to him, pressing against his side and he looked down at her again as she capped him once more. "Try me, McCarthy," She giggled.

And before she knew it, both controllers found their way on the ground and he was tickling her mercilessly. She squirmed and giggled and tried to stop him, but it was no use. He kept at it until he felt that revenge was successful. Laying back on her bed, he pulled her close and nuzzled her hair, "Told you."

Layla smiled and cuddled up against him, "I still beat you on the game."

[Adrianna Carstyn]

You Found Me ~ non-canon



2:15 pm - The funeral for Amelia Carstyn starts
4:55 pm - The funeral ends
7:22 pm - Adrianna Carstyn found in her home, lying on the floor with a bottle of pills in her hand, nearly empty.
7:58 pm - Adrianna Carstyn admitted into the Emergency room, stabilized and resting
A few days pass before she wakes.

Why she was still alive was unknown to her, she had taken more than enough pills and no one had been around. So why was she still living in this hell hole of a life that she had? Everyone said it could be worse, but she didn’t see how. Her mother was gone, her father took her last moments from her and she was all alone. So why was she still living? All she wanted, all she had asked for was to be in Heaven with her mother, was that such a bad thing to request? Apparently it had been because she was now lying in a hospital bed, staring up at the ceiling begrudgingly. She was supposed to be dead.

As someone cleared their throat, she nearly jumped out of her skin. Her eyes snapped to the person that had made the noise and fell upon the ground when she realized who it was. Of course, that was why she was living. But how had he found her? How did he know to look for her? And why did he always have to save her? She didn’t want to be saved! He should have left her there. He should have just accepted that she was gone, off to be with her mother, off to finally find a form of happiness. Why couldn’t he just accept it?!

The heart monitor beside her started overreacting and he was by her side in an instant. Adrian didn’t look at him. She couldn’t. He was the reason she was stuck in this pathetic life of hers. It was all his fault and she hated him for it. Didn’t he understand? Of all the people here he should have known better than to have saved her! “Adrianna, calm down. It’s okay, you’re going to be okay,” He said to her softly, placing a gentle hand to her forehead. He didn’t get it. He didn’t understand that she just wanted to be with her mother.

“Why…” She croaked. Her chest was rising and falling at a higher rate than what was healthy and she knew she should calm down. Maybe she’d go into cardiac arrest or something. That was possible with so many pills in her system right?

Lani stroked her hair, whispering soothing tones to her. “E-Elisia found you...she thought you were dead, but I couldn’t just let it happen without trying...w-why Adrianna? Why would you try and k-...” He trailed off and tears formed in his eyes. He looked lost, confused and so pained that part of her felt guilty for reacting so selfishly. Maybe she should have thought of the others who would be affected by her decisions. But wait, isn’t that what she always did?

She couldn’t tell him the truth. How would she form the words? He wouldn’t understand. No one would. They didn’t get it. The more her mind whirled, the worse the beeping got on the monitor and she knew that the doctor would come running if she kept this up. So in turn, Adrianna took a deep breath to stabilize herself further and found she had a splitting headache trying to calm herself down. Who could really blame her for being so worked up though? Her mother had just died, her father was an impossible human being and Venn was nowhere in sight. What did she have going for her? What reason did she have for going on?

Her eyes lifted back to Lani and her mind drifted to his words of Elisia having found her. The poor girl…. Adrianna felt sorry for putting Ellie through that, she was so young….

He waited impatiently, anxious and his expression seemed to show all of what he felt instead of the fragments she usually got. He really was mortified by this. The angry part of her was joined with a stab of sympathy, but it vanished when she remembered that it was his fault that she was still here. “What do you think?” She snapped at him with as much force as she could bear to hold. Her voice was raw, raspy and lifeless. This was what he brought back into the world. Was he happy now that she was still here even though mentally she was still as unstable as ever? Surely he had to see how stupid this was, how stupid he’d been when he saved her. She didn’t need to be saved. She didn’t want to be.

“W-what would Amelia say when she found out? What about your father? And Ellie?” He shot off in frustration before his tone softened and he ran his hands through his hair, “What about me, Adrianna?” His own voice was just as raw as hers, but darker, and full of confusion. Adrian willed to hear what he was thinking, but there were no telepaths around for her to leech off of.

What about them? Amelia, her mother, she’d be happy to have her daughter...wouldn’t she? And who cared about her father? He didn’t deserve to know her! And Ellie…she didn’t deserve a best friend with so many issues. And him...he deserved better, he had better didn’t he? Something twisted in her stomach and she bit her lip, unappreciative of the tubes surrounding her. This is what she got. The way he said her name, it always sounded like that of a caress and she often wondered why he preferred to call her by her full name, rather than the many nicknames she’d given him to choose. A whispered memory comes back to her mind and she remembers him saying that it was too beautiful to shorten. The thought warmed her slightly, but she was still weary.

“Answer me,” He said softly, his eyes assessing her carefully. It was like he was about to jump on that call button to send in the nurses. She didn’t like that idea.

Adrianna looked at one of the tubes and sighed, “What do you want me to say, Lani? You want me to explain what went through my head when I did it? Seeing my mother again, being with her, escaping all of the pain that’s settled here in this God forsaken place! Tell me why I shouldn’t have done it! Tell my why I should stay around and be miserable for the rest of my life!” She snarled at him, her heart monitor going nuts.

Lani winced and she sighed, suddenly very exhausted once more. “I’m sorry, Lani, but I don’t belong here.”

“You do! God, don’t you get it? Why can’t you see that everyone that you’ve ever influenced cares so much about you? That you’re this amazing, beautiful, bright girl that makes the world bearable for people like me! Adrianna...I don’t have very many people that know me like you do, even less now. Just please, don’t leave me here without you. I couldn’t bear the thought of not seeing you ever again,” He said through tears that kept falling.

She felt tears well up in her eyes. Adrian reached for his hand and gave it a tight squeeze, “Why is it you that always comes to my rescue?”

He laughed softly and pressed his lips to her hand, “Because I love you, you just don’t seem to see it.”