Friends and Nostalgia (Noah)

[Ravyn Rozanova]

Ravyn was thinking about all of the people that had probably come here to confess their love for someone. And while she had already done that, she couldn't help but feel a little encouraged by his reaction, and by where they were. She felt her heartbeat kick up a notch as well, and she looked once more at the lock left by her grandparents. Seeing it there made her even more hopeful, and she allowed a smile to come across her face when she looked back at Noah.

She let him take the lock out of her hand, keeping a firm grip on the key as he asked her the question. She hesitated, before reaching over to brush his cheek lightly with her thumb. "I think you know," she murmured quietly, leaning in a little, but not enough to pressure him too much if... She was reading the signs wrong. She held her breath, waiting for his reaction.

[Noah Washington]

"If you had that power where you hear conversations from the area, you could sit here all day and just listen..." Noah thought aloud. But that thought drew him to another as he ran his hand along the locks, listening to the clinking as they hit together lightly. "Or that one where you get the story from items and their owners just by touching them." Both things could be so incredibly full on. But the wonderful stories that could be heard were so inviting.

His eyes went a little wide when she reached out to him, because he didn't expect that. She had given him an answer, but not quite at the same time. Shock allowed his grip on the lock to loosen and he dropped it. Noah scrambled quickly to pick it up again like his life depended on it. He'd feel like such an idiot if he dropped it. Luckily he caught it before it could fall over the edge.

"Is that why you brought me here?" He breathed, because the sudden movement felt like it knocked the wind right out of him.

[Ravyn Rozanova]

"I bet Mr. Urswick would definitely hear a lot of sweet conversations here," she agreed, smiling gently. Maybe she would have to mention it to her teacher sometime; it wasn't like she expected him to come to Russia just for that, but he might like the idea anyway. Heck, maybe they could start one in Pilot Ridge.

She winced as he reacted, before gaping and fumbling forward for the lock before realizing he had a hold on it once more. "Nice catch" she breathed, feeling relieved. Ravyn wasn't quite sure what to think - should she pretend it had been a spur of the moment sort of thing? Or admit that she had thought about it previously?

"Yes? No. Maybe?" She reached out as an offer to take the lock back if he wanted her to. "I... I thought about it. And seeing how you reacted to the bridge..." She looked back to her grandparents' lock, her gaze softening once more. "I just wasn't sure. I'm sorry."

[Noah Washington]

Noah didn't have much time to really think about it. He had a lot of things going on in his head and wasn't sure which way he was supposed to be turning. He had told Valerie that she had nothing to worry about, because Ravyn had told him it wouldn't affect the trip. But now when he returned he had to hurt Valerie by telling her this story. And he knew how badly that was going to go down.

He held up the lock and looked at it, not giving it back to her. "You had it the whole time." She had been carrying it. He placed it in his pocket.

"You said everything was fine, and that this wasn't going to happen here. I already told you-" Noah paused. He didn't know what to say. He was upset, because she said it would be fine and it wasn't. And they still had a week left. What was he supposed to do now? If he gave her the slightest possible inclination, was she going to just do this again? "I... Ravyn, I told you..."

[Ravyn Rozanova]

Ravyn slumped, dropping her hand when he didn't give the lock back. "Yeah, but..." she trailed off, watching as he put it away. The key was still in her own, and, not knowing what else to do, she stuck it in her own pocket. "I didn't know what it would mean," she mumbled into the collar of her coat.

She felt horrible for bringing him here now, and horrible with herself for thinking something was there between them when it wasn't. "I... This place..." She wasn't sure what she was trying to say, but the look in his eyes was enough to make her heart freeze. "I shouldn't have brought you here," she murmured, turning to look at her grandparents' lock. It felt mocking now, and she pressed her lips together and blinked hard as she dropped her eyes to the ground. Now, at least, she knew for sure that there was no chance of this happening between them. It was little comfort, but at least she knew. "It won't happen again," she promised. "I... I know I've already said that, but...." She looked up at him. If she had just ruined it between them, she would never forgive herself. "I promise. I won't let it happen again. I mean it." Blinking hard again, she looked away, wishing more than anything she could make the clock move in reverse so she could change what she had done.

[Noah Washington]

Originally Noah thought about what else they could have done. Maybe if they came with Cam, they could have signed it together and cemented their friendship on the bridge. Noah wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, wondering if that were another idea of hers. That was why he asked in the first place. In his nervousness, he may have given her the wrong idea.

"Ray..." Noah said quietly. They still had a week left of this trip, and he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do for the rest it. "Would you at least talk to me about it? What's going on with you." She seemed overly nervous, and almost desperate to inform him of her feelings. "Why do you think, I don't know... You have to push this on me?" He was trying to use a calm voice so he didn't sound angry or upset with her.

He sighed quickly. "And don't say it's because I might be dating some people. We both know there's got to be more to it than that." Dating, after all, was not the end of the world.

[Ravyn Rozanova]

Ravyn hadn't quite been sure of what the lock was going to mean until the moment she said it, and now she knew she shouldn't have pushed it like she had. They should have brought Cam with them - then, at least, she wouldn't have been tempted, and she and Noah wouldn't be in the position they were now.

She winced slightly as he said her name, not knowing what was coming. She tugged her hands through her hair, unable to meet his eyes. "I don't really know what I'm feeling anymore," she mumbled. "It's just, when I was gone for that week, I... I don't know. Something changed. And then I came back and, and I thought everything was going to be fine and perfect, but...." She shrugged, then shook her head. "I'm hopeless when it comes to stuff like this, Noah. I... I don't think I know what I'm doing anymore."

She turned and leaned back against the railing, hesitating before adding in a whisper,"I watched my mom growing up all alone, without anyone to be there for her. I mean, my grandparents were there most of the time, but I saw the pain in her eyes when she thought I wasn't looking. I know how lonely she felt sometimes, after what my dad had done. And.... I just don't want to be alone like that. My brother..." She struggled to come up with the right words. "He was never around for me, either. And I guess.... I guess I just want someone to... Want me." She looked up at him then, not knowing if he understood what she meant, or if she was even making sense at all.

[Noah Washington]

"Before you left, you said you were thinking of taking a step back from dating for a while," Noah reminded her, thinking back to that conversation where he had let the information ship about his father. A lot of things happened in that conversation. "I guess I just didn't expect any of this after that..."

Noah turned his back to the railing, leaning back and running a covered thumb over the lock in his pocket idly as he listened. "That kind of thing effects people in all kinds of ways." Noah replied. It reminded him a lot of that conversation again. He had explained to her that he saw his mother without his father and how much it changed him. Did she think that made him chase after people? He hoped not. People reacted in different ways. It was true.

"To be honest, I wasn't sure what I was going to do when you came back. There was you, but there were a few other people too." He began. He looked up, catching sight of the snow as it fell. He used his ability to ensure it wouldn't get caught in his eyes. "I actually asked Cam for advice about it." He laughed at the thought.

[Ravyn Rozanova]

"I did," Ravyn nodded, letting out a short, bitter chuckle. "Apparently it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be." She remembered what he had talked about, too, and instantly felt worse. At least, somewhere, she still had a dad, even if she never saw him. "You shouldn't have expected it. You couldn't have known." It was her own lack of control that caused all this. He had no idea back then.

She shifted slightly as he leaned back as well, reaching her hand back to lightly brush the locks on the railing. "Yeah," she murmured in reply. She understood what he meant. He had always seemed so strong, so sure of himself - the fact that he had lost his dad in the somewhat recent past had shocked her. If she lost her own dad... She wasn't quite sure how she would react. It was one of those things that she wouldn't know until it happened.

Ravyn nodded understandingly, dipping her head and letting strands of hair cover the side of her face. "I just shouldn't have been so expecting," she told him, biting her lip. "I should have done something sooner." She vaguely wondered who else he was talking about, but she wasn't going to ask. "Oh yeah?" she replied with a small laugh, glancing up and watching the snow drift outward from his eyes. "How did that go?" She wasn't sure if this was before or after she had told Cam about the situation. Everything was all sort of jumbling together.

[Noah Washington]

Noah simply shrugged, not willing to offer a yes or no to her statement. It didn't matter now anyway as far as he was concerned. Whether she did something earlier or not, he didn't know how it would have gone. They still would have had the issue of her saying she shouldn't date people. And how she picked others and left him without a chance twice. And really, when it all boiled away those were his main concerns to begin with.

He just couldn't chance her taking an opportunity and bailing on him again for someone like Cam or Lucah.

"Honestly?" Noah asked first. He knew Ravyn and Cam were friends, after all. They all were, and their connections to each other were all so strong already. "He... Told me to go for it with Valerie."

[Ravyn Rozanova]

Ravyn was becoming more untrustworthy than she had ever imagined herself becoming. First with Lucah, and now with Noah... Was she becoming her brother? The idea repulsed her, and she bent over slightly, keeping her gaze directed at the ground. Why couldn't she just settle for one person? Why did she have to make everything so hard on not only herself, but those she cared about?

She tilted her head slightly as he began, wondering what was coming. She wasn't really prepared for the answer, and she instantly felt her eyes prick as tears threatened to appear. Pressing her lips together to hold back her sadness, she simply gave a short nod. "Well, if he said that, then... Then he probably knows what he was talking about," Ravyn replied, shivering. "At least now I know." Everything suddenly felt so cold, colder than it had before. It must have been before she told Cameron, but that didn't matter - the blonde had already told Noah his opinion. A tear dripped down her cheek, and she rubbed at it half-heartedly, feeling numb. "We should probably get back to him," she said, taking a step towards the foot of the bridge.

[Noah Washington]

Noah's eyebrows furrowed, knitting together as his lips pressed into a hard line. He didn't answer her right away, even when she suggested that they go back to him. Jesus, with her it was always about Cam, wasn't it? Maybe that was why it wasn't going to work. She always held the guy above all others anyway.

"Now you know what?" He said, almost bitterly. Because no, she wasn't going to get away with saying that and not explaining it. If she meant what he thought, than it was just same old Ravyn. And she really hadn't changed at all.

[Ravyn Rozanova]

It wasn't that Ravyn held Cam above everyone else. She loved the guy, and he meant a lot to her, but she had just been trying to stop the conversation from getting worse. Now she had done just that without meaning to. The expression that came over Noah's face made her freeze, and she realized he had taken it the wrong way. She just couldn't do anything right, could she?

"Now I know that... Whatever you guys talked about, there was obviously something there that made him think you and Valerie are good for each other," she replied quietly. That was all she had meant. She turned again, holding her arms out in surrender. "I don't know what to say, Noah. I've poured everything out to you. I know how you feel about it. Please, just... Just give me some time to think about it all." Nothing was going as she had hoped it would. She wanted to fly, now - she didn't care that it was snowing. She had to get away from this.

[Noah Washington]

Noah listened to her, but he didn't look at her. He didn't interrupt her with his voice or a different expression on his face. As she spoke, he simply was. Things became glaringly obvious. If she meant all that she said, then no, she hadn't changed.

"Jesus, Ravyn. Would you listen to yourself for a second?" He sounded frustrated, and in truth he was. Mia's words were ringing heavily in his ears, in tandem with the concern Valerie had felt that Noah promised her she didn't need to worry over. He had placed his trust in Ravyn against the words of others. Had they all been right? "Just shut up about Valerie, alright? You don't know her, and you don't know what's going on with us." All Ravyn knew was that he met her and that was it. Why she was acting as if they were freakin' married was beyond him.

He shook his head. "You poured everything out to me. That's just it." Noah raised his hand, balling it into a fist and slamming it against the nearby railing. His eyes searched out across the frozen lake as he willed himself to be home. Or at least to not be this angry. "That's you, Ravyn. You don't care what anyone else thinks as long as it's what you want."

[Ravyn Rozanova]

Ravyn flinched again. Everything was crumbling around her. Nothing she said was making anything any better - she was just digging herself into a deeper and deeper hole. Everything she did just hurt someone. She didn't understand why she couldn't do something right for once. Especially now. She could feel their relationship ripping apart with each word he said.

She took another step back as he slammed his fist into the bridge, sending the locks clattering against each other. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. What could she say that wouldn't just make this worse? Her hands fumbled in her pockets, and she felt the key that rested within. She gripped it like a vice before letting go and going to pull off her jacket. "I care about what you think," she told him in a pained whisper,"Even if you don't believe it." She shook as she dropped it to the ground. "We'll pay for you to go back to Pilot Ridge sooner," she told him. "If that's what you want. I'm sorry I asked you to come with us. I'm sorry I ruined it for you. Whatever you want... If you don't want to see me anymore... If... If that would make you feel better..." She shrugged hopelessly. "Then I understand." As soon as the words came out of her mouth, she pressed her hand against her mouth to hold back a sob. "I don't want to hurt anyone anymore." She began to unfurl her wings. Maybe if she flew high enough, she would go numb enough for this not to be so painful.