Sometimes I Scribble

[Ari Jasinski]

(Or, things Nell writes)

Just a quick note on…. ANXIETY and ROLEPLAYING

Have you ever heard someone say that the greatest fear they have is public speaking? Ever looked at a course catalog, seen that “Public Speaking 101” is mandatory, and nearly had an anxiety attack? Yeah, well, NIMH’s research suggests that about 3/4 of North Americans are afraid of public speaking.

So what are you doing when you’re roleplaying? Give you one guess— bingo! PUBLIC SPEAKING!

You, and I, and everyone else— we’re all out here, putting ourselves out in public for literally anyone to see. And, no, we’re not actually making our actual identities known to the world necessarily, but the emotions, the thoughts, everything that goes into roleplaying is right out there in the open, exposed and naked.

Maybe not naked. But you know, maybe naked. I’m not judging. SO ANYWAY.

If you’ve ever hesitated before hitting the “Create Post” button, if you’ve ever deleted an hour’s worth of work, if you’ve ever sat in front of your screen almost crying with frustration over how hard it is to write… it’s okay. It doesn’t mean there’s anything inherently wrong with you. You have good old-fashioned stage fright.

Take a deep breath. Remember you’ve got friends (and fans!). And start the show.

(Oh, and maybe take the time to tell the people you play with that you think they’re kind of awesome. Because they think you are, too.)

[Ari Jasinski]

Elasticity

1.

The concept of stability is one
not easily defined, nor done in vain.
(Though few can say they know what stable is.)
Anatomy is somehow torn apart,
and somehow cells themselves are influenced
by one's own choice, own effort, own intent.
Stability's not easily defined.

2.

The gentle man, the tender man who heals,
returns again from sorrow and from strain
to rise and love again, renewing life.
His past is still with him, its shadow dims
but does not poison everything. His life,
his happiness, his peace will stay with him.

The woman (growing daily from the child)
is learning who she is and she is not;
and she has suffered much, and not in vain.
She stands alone for now, survives alone,
and patiently she waits. Her time is soon.
She waits for change; and change will come to her.

3.
The silence and the shame, the hidden rage
that colored what they knew and how they lived:
these all have passed. What lies ahead calls them
to rise and struggle, reach beyond the pain;
it draws them on, and challenges their hearts.
They find success is well within their reach.

The way will never make itself quite plain:
instead, obscurity will mark the way
they'll go. They each will have a road apart,
one from the other, and the paths they take
will not, can never be the same one twice.
(And all the roads they walk, they walk alone.)

And so they have survived, and travel on,
reaching the crossroad. Questions lie ahead:
Where is the turning point? When is the time
that each of them will find what they most need?
Exchange the past for love that will remain;
give up what's gone for all that they will gain.

[Ari Jasinski]

Princess Brendan, from The Princess Who Expected Better

SETUP: Prince Ignatius, a particularly obnoxious suitor, assumes that all princesses are vain, and insecure about their beauty. He tries to upset Princess Brendan by suggesting he might not be really interested in Brendan after all (basic PUA nonsense). Brendan isn't impressed-- not by him, or by the others who've shown up to try and win Brendan's hand, and he lets them know it....

I'm Too Incredible (For You)

(to all the princes)
Why do all of you think you're the only one?
The only Prince under the big ol' sun?

(to Prince Ignatius)
Oh, sweetie, don't you make the oh-so-common mistake
Of thinking when you ignore me,
That you'll somehow manage to floor me--
Oh! That'd be the day! Hmph! I'll just walk away.

CHORUS:
So!
Tell me what you see when you look at me--
No, wait! I'll tell you what you see~:
It's the amazing creation that is me!
Don't you see that it's true~?
I'm too incredible for you!

(to Prince Ignatius)
I won't waste time crying, or sobbing, or sighing,
While you're thinking I'm doing all that,
What I'll really do is find someone better than you--
I'll be gone in about 10 seconds flat!

(to all the princes)
And you! everyone of you's a hopeless bore!
And me! I want someone who can offer me more
Than a crown and a castle, or a big shiny throne
That's not what I want-- I've got all that on my own!

So if you're not smart, if you don't have a heart,
If you can't stand your ground,
And you don't have any skills, and don't give me any thrills,
Doll, I don't want you around!

Don't you see that it's true~?
I'm too incredible for you-- and you! and you-- all of you!
Oh, babies! I'm too incredible for you!

[Ari Jasinski]

The wind slapped her in the face as Bell struggled out the access hatch and onto what had been the observation deck of the UCC Patience-- now a mangled, scorched mass of metal. She winced to see her old friend in such poor condition... but she would make those who had done the damage pay for every burn mark, every bullet hole.

Nobody treated the Patience and her crew with such disrespect without paying dearly for it, in the end. And the captain of Vanity's Pride would realize, soon enough, that Mia Bell was not a woman to be easily defeated.

Captain Bell tested the line on her safety harness, and turned back to the open hatch where the ship's engineer waited anxiously. He tested the line on his end and gave her a nod. Good old Nel, she thought. No matter what, she knew she could count on him to have her back.

Gripping the welding torch tightly, she edged along a narrow support beam to the frozen engine. Hopefully, the direct application of flame to its innards would start it running again; it was risky, but every moment they delayed was more time for the Pride to escape.

She pulled the welding mask down over her face, knelt, and fired up the torch. Its blue glare blazed and danced on the ice crystals that covered the engine's workings, and Bell leaned in, bringing the flame closer and closer as its heat slowly did its work....

[Ari Jasinski]

Six months, two weeks, three days since he'd written a single word, and as he stood staring out across the autumn fields beneath a cloudy sky, he had a feeling it might be four days very soon, and then another week.

It was wise to end it, he knew. Love and art were rarely compatible; how could he devote himself entirely to writing, if his heart and mind and strength were sap away by love?

By now, Nathan would be halfway across the Atlantic.

It was for the best.

("Aftermath", by Longfellow)