AU: All Our Tomorrows (Sean)

[Joshua Bernstein]

Dear Sean,

I can't find a copy of the book you suggested, but don't worry about sending me yours because I know that my dad has it. He's a big Vonnegut fan, although I've never actually read any of the books he has. He's thrilled that I've taken an interest and wants to buy me my own copy.

I have every intention of making that dream a reality for both of us. I've had a few of those dreams, myself, so we are on the same wavelength evidently. Only a couple more months to go!

I'm having to cut this letter short, because my parents decided to visit and they are making any free time to write letters very difficult.

I'll tell you more next letter!

Love,
Joshua Bernstein

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Dear Josh:

If your father doesn’t get you a copy of your own by next week, let me know. I’m happy to send you mine, since I’m done with it. I’ll reread it eventually, but not in the next few months, and you can return it when we’re back in New York. I do think you’ll like it, and I also think it will be good for you to have something to bond with your father over.

Only another couple of months to go, and I am so grateful!

How did the visit with your parents go? Tell me everything.

Easter is next weekend, and so I have to go back home to celebrate. I spend Good Friday at school and then travel down on Saturday. Some of our cousins are coming over for Easter supper; my grandparents are visiting as well. It should be a long visit, given political and religious discourse. I might make myself an Easter basket to make it easier.

Robert and I have been working towards my training final exam at the end of next quarter. I have no doubt that I will pass, which is incredible to think about. When I first came to Hammel six years ago, I couldn’t conceive of having sufficient control to graduate. Robert was right, as always.

All my love,
Sean Neville

[Joshua Bernstein]

Dear Sean,

He got me a copy while they were here. I've only just started reading it, as they didn't ever give me a chance to sit still while they were here. I'll let you know what I think when I'm further in!

Fortunately after meeting Danny my mother really likes him, and has finally listened to me that he's not my new boyfriend. She's still very disappointed that I don't have any other friends, and insisted on meeting the girls Danny and I took out when we took the pictures I sent you. And was then even more disappointed because the one I took has a boyfriend now, and he isn't me, and they are very obvious about it.

She also insisted on talking to all my teachers about my grades and with my counselor about my future and my potential and the two of them together continue to insist that if I only acquired a girlfriend then I wouldn't be throwing all my potential away, because I have such great grades and am going to NYU and therefore this means that not dating a girl is a waste.

Or something like that.

Dad also talked to my teachers, but he at least left well enough alone about girls. He's very excited about the fact that I'm going to NYU, because that's a lot closer than Matt.

Speaking of which, Matt is engaged. I really can't believe it, he's not even graduated yet. My mother says he's too young, but dad says if you're ready then you're ready.

Now if only they would say that about us!

I hope you have a nice Easter, even if you have to listen to your family discussions. Danny is going home for Passover, but since my family was just here I'm staying. My Hebrew teacher invited me to have Passover with his family, and I think I will take him up on the offer.

But you should be so proud to have come that far! Robert is always right, it's very irritating of him really. But in this case I'm glad, because if you didn't graduate we wouldn't be able to attend college together next fall.

Love,
Joshua Bernstein

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Dear Josh:

Please let me know what you think. I’m happy to talk about Vonnegut for hours. I just started reading A Single Man by Christopher Isherwood. It’s the story of an English professor whose lover died in a car accident who is trying to cope with the grief as he goes about his day. It’s very interesting and sad, and I can’t bring it home with me because the main character is gay.

I’m glad that your mother finally believed you, but I’m sorry that it took so long. I’m also glad that she likes Danny; from everything you’ve told me, he’s great and well-deserving of your esteem. Cobalt feels the same way, but more so. When we get to college, she’ll stop hinting to you about girlfriends, I think. I still don’t know if it’s better to have your mother’s approach where she still has expectations or my mother’s approach, where she has completely abandoned hope. I’d appreciate my mother’s method of coping more if it didn’t include unswayable belief in my spiritual death and damnation – even though she wants to do everything in her power to undo that.

At least your father is somewhat more reasonable.

Congratulations to your brother! If you can, please pass that on to him for me.

They’ll have to accept our relationship sooner or later. We are eternal.

Thank you. I leave soon, and I’ll be sure to tell you anything worth mentioning. I hope that you have a nice Passover. Will you be the youngest one at the Seder? If so, do you still have to hide the Afikoman even though you’ve had your Bar Mitzvah?

I don’t think it’s irritating; I think it’s wonderful that someone out there has the world figured out. I’m glad it’s Robert, and that he’s on our side.

When my final test comes, I’ll tell you all about it.

All my love,
Sean Neville

[Joshua Bernstein]

Dear Sean,

I wasn't the youngest. My teacher has a seven year old daughter so I was safe. I hope you had a nice Easter!

Finals are coming up so I can't write as much. I have so much studying to do! But when they are over I will try to find that book I hope neither of us are in that position, I don't know how I could survive if you were killed. At least even though we're separated I know you're alive and I'm going to see you again.

Back to studying I go. Good luck on your exams!

Love,
Josh

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Dear Josh:

That’s relieving. While it can be fun to be young for some things, I wouldn’t want to be treated as a child forever. How was it to spend the holidays with another family?

Easter was fine. I’ve always liked the holiday, and my family gave me a bit of space, which helped. I was expected to meet with the Priest after Mass, of course, but I don’t have much to say these days. I have nothing to confess, because I have nothing to repent.

Don’t worry about writing me until you finish final exams; I’ll keep.

My load isn’t as laborious as it could be. We have some exams and some final projects. I have a handle on it.

The spring dance is coming up soon. Maggie has agreed to take pictures so that I can either send them to you or show them to you when I see you next. I can’t wait to see you again; I miss you so much.

I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you. I would grieve for so long. Fortunately, we don’t have to worry about that. We’ll meet again in the summer, and we’ll be together for good come the autumn.

That thought makes the days easier to pass.

All My Love,
Sean Neville

[Joshua Bernstein]

Dear Sean,

I think I actually did well on my science exam! I have you and your study guide to thank, it was so helpful. Graduation is next weekend so my family will come out, then I'll be done. Just packing and traveling back after that.

Spending Passover with another family was great because no questions about girlfriends were asked. It was a little odd to eat someone else's cooking, but it wasn't bad. Just different.

I hope you have fun at the dance! Summer can't get here fast enough?

Love always,
Joshua Bernstein

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Dear Josh:

Congratulations! I told you that you’d do well; you shouldn’t underestimate yourself so much.

When graduation comes, let me know. Maybe we’ll be able to sneak in a phone call or two, which would be great. I miss hearing the sound of your voice.

I still have your present; I’ll keep it with me instead of mailing it. That way, I’ll get to see your face when you open it.

Maggie and I had a good time at the dance. The music was nice, and it was an excuse to get dressed up. We managed to take some pictures, as promised, and I sent them along with the letter. Every time I smiled, I was thinking of you.

Graduation here is a little later, you know; school terms in the North East are a little different. I’m working on my final projects, and next week, I have my final exam with Robert. He assures me that it should go fine. I believe him, because he’s never wrong.

They won’t give me a “certified telepath” sign or anything after I pass, but at least I’ll know what I’m capable of.

No, the summer can’t get here fast enough. But soon we’ll be together again, and it will be the greatest thing to happen to me.

Love,
Sean Neville

[Joshua Bernstein]

Dear Sean,

A "certified telepath" sign would be so useful, though. Or...maybe not. It's probably better not to hang that on your wall, not with how people worry when they find out. I'm excited for you, though, it must be really relieving to know you don't need to learn more about your power.

I love the pictures, thank Maggie for me. You look like you had fun. Who took the picture of the two of you together and whose idea was it to make faces at the camera? It's so silly but I love it. I miss your goofy side.

Maybe if you say you are calling Danny we can fool the administration. Nobody minds if I talk to one of my friend's friends, right? But graduation is this Saturday so...soon!

Impatiently waiting for summer,
Joshua Bernstein

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Dear Josh:

I wouldn’t hang it up in my dormitory, of course, but being able to carry it with me to show to professors since rumors abound. Hammel had provisions for exams, you know, but I don’t know how college professors will react when they find out. And I have a sneaking suspicion that the administration will tell all of my professors when I sign up for classes.

Of course, there isn’t really anything I can do about that, so we’ll just have to see.

I thanked Maggie, and she said you’re always welcome. She also says hello and asks me to give you a hug for her when I see you. Riley took the picture of us together, and it was Maggie’s idea to make faces. She has better ideas than me, which is why she’s going to change the world someday.

Once again, congratulations on graduation! I’ll see if I can try to call “Danny” after you’re settled again.

I wish my telepathy was stronger; then I wouldn’t need to call you.

Also, I passed the final with Robert! He gave me highest marks and a hug, so that’s one trial down. Everything from here on out is purely academic.

I can’t wait to see you again.

All my love,
Sean Neville

[Joshua Bernstein]

Dear Sean,

It was so nice to hear from you. I think that will tide me over until I can see you. Speaking of, I'm packing right now. Tomorrow Danny and I are going to talk to a friend of his about borrowing a van and then we will be off!

I can't wait to get to Colorado! And who knows, maybe we can even take advantage of our location and go skiing between getting reacquainted. And then...college! I can hardly wait. You,learning, and the opportunity for new friends? What's not to be excited about?

See you soon,
Joshua Bernstein