Stubbornly Solo (Odion)

[Lani Hunter]

Lani was never for a moment without thought. This strange sensation of not being able to hold onto a thought for longer than a few seconds was starting to get really frustrating. It seemed like every time he had a hold on one thought it ran away and was immediately replaced by another. He didn’t have the mental capacity nor the energy to argue with anything Odion said. He could try by he wouldn’t get very far. Odion could really take advantage of his moment and tear into Lani making him face himself. Lani felt so defenseless and yet Odion wasn’t taking advantage of the moment. Lani didn’t even bother wiping his eyes anymore he had opened a floodgate when the first tears had fallen, there was no use drying eyes that could potentially wet again at any moment. Lani’s emotions were connected to his power and he felt just as drained emotionally as his power, but he wasn’t sure if that was due to his exhausted power or if he really had just been overloaded and didn’t know what to do anymore.

Lani breathed a sigh of relief and smiled slightly. At least Odion was feeling better. Lani had a feeling that the next few days would be the worst. If the initial injury hurt, the constant ache following for the days or even weeks following were worse. Lani wasn’t sure when his power would heal but this felt similar if much worse when his power first manifested. He was not looking forward to the reaction headache he was going to be feeling tomorrow, if not as soon as he stopped feeling so delirious. He closed his eyes against a wave of pain as the car hit a pothole. Part of his mind realized that he wasn’t in the right mind. It realized that he was falling into Odion and relishing in his embrace when otherwise he would be nervous about such an action. Lani felt guilty suddenly, poor Adrianna, what if he was always gay? She hadn’t stood a chance.

Hearing Odion’s question Lani’s eyes slid open and he looked thoughtfully into the distance. “The real question is about the good people who are really bad. Intentions are what makes or breaks a person.” Lani looked up at Odion, hadn’t they had this conversation before? “How do we define good and bad? By actions or intentions? If someone become bad by action then they are bad. If someone is good by intention are they good?” If Odion wanted to keep Lani ranting he was on the right track. Perhaps this was how all of the philosophers got their breakthroughs. Lani glanced up at Odion and tried to find his eyes in the shadows. He squinted as the light caught Odion’s face from a passing car and he found those blue eyes. “We’re all fools. Thinking we know something about nothing when we know a great deal of nothing about something.” There was so much in the world that was still unknown. Accepted laws could be broken in a moment’s notice.

Lani watched Odion turned away and he wished he could get his eyes to focus. He wanted to be strong for Odion as well. He didn’t know how at the moment. Oblivious to Odion’s fear of Lani losing his mind Lani shook his head and told himself that he was indeed losing his mind. There was something to be said for sanity in being able to identify when the mind was doing something that wasn’t quite normal. “Do you think there is a God?” Lani asked out of the blue. He wasn’t asking because he was afraid of dying he was asking because he wanted to figure out who he could blame for this turn in his life that wasn’t himself. There was the other questions of proof. There was no proof, there was faith, but there was also a myriad of things that couldn’t be explained that credit was given to the almighty.

As clear as sneezing made him feel it had forced his head to move more than he wanted it to and he didn’t protest as Odion pulled him back, he was too lost in recovering from the wave of pain that washed over him. Only when Odion agreed did Lani realize that it was probably horribly impolite to say something like that. It was one thing to identify himself as broken and another level to say that Odion was as well. Even if there were things about Odion that were flawed it wasn’t like he needed to be fixed. His mother would probably smack him if she heard him say something like that. Speaking without a filter was dangerous indeed. Lani opened his mouth to apologize for saying something like that but Odion was faster and Lani’s mind forgot what he was going to apologize for.

Taking a quick inventory of himself Lani nodded slowly. “Yeah, just tired.” He admitted. His head still felt like it had been smashed by a hammer but the pain was subsiding ever so slightly and Lani didn’t feel so much like he was dying anymore. Chances were he never was, he just felt like it. “Are we there yet? I feel like we’ve been driving forever.” He wasn’t really sure if it was his sense of time or actual time that was off. He closed his eyes and wondered if Odion would let him doze off if he was feeling better. He hoped they got back soon and he could just crawl into bed and never move. He also had more pills stowed away in his room. Lani smiled a little to himself. “We’re on the infinity road.”

[Odion Martins]

It would probably be devastating for someone like Lani to ever have some kind of brain damage, not that it wasn’t devastating for anyone. Lani would go absolutely insane if he couldn’t have his own mind in check, and maybe, like some kind of eating disorder, being able to control his power brought him some kind of control he couldn’t have anywhere else. Odion assumed that they would talk about this night some other time, once Lani had done a bit of healing, and really Odi wouldn’t mind doing the same. He was still furious at Lani, but it was hard to kick someone he loved when they were already down. Lani hadn’t heard the last of Odion’s anger. Past Odion would’ve taken advantage of the situation, but Past Odion wouldn’t even find himself in this situation. He was a very different person now.

As they saying went, whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Odion knew that Lani had been through a lot, and he could go through this as well. Granted, not a lot of teenagers had to go through what Lani was going through now, but all he can do is play the hand he’s been dealt. But he didn’t have to do this alone like he once had before, and hopefully he realized this made him stronger, not weaker. Odion’s eyes snapped downwards as Lani gripped him tighter. He personally hadn’t felt the bump, but a hand went to rub Lani’s arm. This was going to be a hell of a long night, and it had only just begun. Odion wasn’t thinking too much about his actions at this point, for the only people watching were those who knew better, and he had to focus his strength on something more meaningful than holding a charade.

They had spoke of this before, and Odion knew that Lani knew what he thought about intentions. Odion sighed, the gears in his mind turning. It was a good question. “Perhaps it’s both. Someone with bad intentions may end with a result that’s good which they didn’t want. That doesn’t make them good. Or they could have a bad intentions the whole time and be trying to swindle people, which still makes them bad. And then there are those who do bad things just to see what will happen without any bad intentions in mind. Or maybe they did have bad intentions.” Odion stopped, because there were so many options without any answers. “I just want to know which one I am.” He looked back at Lani, wondering if he had found his muse. No one else could make him talk so much for the sake of talking and thought process. “So there isn’t good or bad, just assumptions and foolishness. Human nature,” Odion said, and then chuckled to himself. It still didn’t make any sense.

Odion snuggled deeper into Lani, his eyes travelled to an injured spot on the blond’s neck. “Do you really want to know?” An answer for a question with another question. Odion was unconcerned about deities when he himself felt like one half the time. What kind of human was given such awesome power such as time control if there was a god? Could it be a tease? And then there was the question of why. Why all the poverty, and other terrible things that happened to people. Odion couldn’t say he cared about other people aside from a select few, but he also thought that humanity had brought on its own destruction. God couldn’t be blamed for that which is unexplainable or unfair, but Odion didn’t have faith to begin with.

It was such an impolite thing to say, not when Odion agreed. It had just been said rather bluntly, but still sweetly due to Lani’s state. He didn’t mean any harm, he wasn’t trying to hurt Odion like the ginger always assumed people were trying to do to him. And well, his injuries were making him soft around the edges.

A smile made Odion’s lips curl upwards. “Good,” he said simply, releasing Lani’s wrist slightly and giving him another dose of time. Time healed all wounds, and time was what he could give Lani. “Not yet love,” Odion said, unable to help himself from smiling again. He wondered if Lani was going to hit him for this later, or if the blond would ever figure it out. Lani closed his eyes and his breath softened. Odion didn’t say anything as he felt Lani drifting off. His fingertips pressed into Lani’s wrist, the pulse slow and steady. Lani was going to be alright, just sore. Odion himself closed his eyes, feeling and knowing that they had some thirty odd minutes of real time left, and Lani could probably nap for an hour. He’d always wondered how comfortable of a recliner he would make.

---

“Hey, you guys awake?” Jared was speaking and nudging Odion’s knee, the ginger lolling his head to the side to glare at his friend. “Come on,” Jared said, flashing a sloppy smile, “we’re home.” Odion snorted a laugh, and looked out the windows. It was clear as far as he could tell. The very next thing he did was glance down to Lani. How had he fallen asleep like that? He couldn’t remember actually doing so. Wasn’t Lani the one who was tired? Maybe it was time playing tricks on him. His muscles were feeling a bit stiff, but to have Lani in his arms like this – it was something he could get used to.

Jared was opening the back door and Odion turned over his shoulder, glaring at Jared because now he had to compensate with his weight to make sure he and Lani didn’t tumble out. Honestly, Bell could have no sympathy. “Let’s get a move on lover boys,” he said, taking out a cigarette and walking towards the campus. Odion wasn’t sure how to wake Lani, so he spoke. “Lani,” Odion said, leaning forward to keep them in the car, “Lani, we’re here.”

[Lani Hunter]

Lani certainly didn’t blame Odion for being furious. If anything Odion deserved to kill Lani, revive him and kill him a second time for this one. He just never learned. It was a sad thing to think about if Lani lost his mind but he didn’t think he was anywhere close to losing his mind. And if he did Odion would be the first to know something wasn’t quite right. But nothing was quite right now. Lani knew he screwed up big time and part of him was wondering how much more Odion would take before he finally decided it wasn’t worth it. Closing his eyes against tears threatening to fall again. Everything backfired. All of his plans. Every time he went to keep Odion from getting hurt or getting into danger he just drug Odion in with more pain. Odion could rest assured that Lani was done keeping things like this from him. He was done pretending everything was alright.

That was what his mind was saying, for now. When his mind could focus on something more than the pain this conviction might lessen. But at least with Odion he had finally gotten it through his thick skull that pretending everything was alright around Odion was not working. Not only was the redhead sharp and observant but he could sniff out a lie Lani was forming in his head before it left his lips. Just the presence had enough of an effect to keep Lani from breaking. He was doing as he had done so all his life, stealing from others. This time he was stealing strength and warmth and love from the one he loved. It was such a strange sensation but he was glad for it. He would much rather not be broken with witnesses but if it had to be someone it was Odion. Lani had all but forgotten that someone was driving. Jared was going to be lucky if Lani remembered him being there at all and better hope that if Lani recognized his face it wasn’t because he thought Jared had been one of the new guys his boss hired.

Lani opened his mouth to reply but Odion’s next thought stopped him. Lani started to hum his mind working through the unasked question and his habit coming out even in the pain. He unintentionally picked up the tune on the radio and tapped a finger to the rhythm against Odion’s hand. “You’re Odion.” Lani answered and somehow in the past few moments though more tired he was more aware that that would make no sense, so he elaborated. “You’re a good person, Odion, the best person I know.” He said honestly. He didn’t give a damn what other people thought. He knew Odion did bad things with bad intention and that he did good things with good intentions. To Lani the good outweighed the bad tenfold. Lani nodded slowly and gave a little cynical laugh. “Human nature is to err. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Really, in the end we’re all screwed.” They were constantly telling themselves that mistakes happened.

He could hear the warning in Odion’s voice and Lani looked up at Odion with a curious expression. “Yes,” he replied simply. There were so many different gods, different definitions. Different names, different faces, but they all boiled down to the same deity or sense of a deity. Maybe religion was real, maybe it was something humans created to make themselves feel better. It was a strange thing but perhaps if it comforted someone for the brief period of time that people were on this earth then so be it. Who was Lani to say there was or wasn’t. He didn’t know. There was no proof. But there was no proof of anything. There were theories and there were feelings but the word proof was a dangerous word. How does one prove that water is wet? How does one explain why water is wet?

If Lani knew Odion was healing him with his power he probably would have scolded him thoroughly for using his power when he himself was not at one hundred percent. Lani sighed and fell easily into sleep and a few seconds later the world could have ended and Lani would have slept right through it. The dreams were ones that would not be remembered, strange dreams that could not be explained in words and words that were lost like breaths of wind whispering an important secret. Mostly Lani just fell into the darkness and let it cradle him gently. He snuggled closer into the warmth wrapped around him half aware that it was Odion and half aware of nothing quite physical.


But when someone spoke his name he felt like he had just blinked for a second or two. Lani blinked a few times his eyes squinting unhappily at the light of the car door. He was comfortable and he didn’t want to move. He felt like he had been dragged through hell but there was a little stirring in his head that caused pain and a familiar comfort that told him his power would be fine. He groaned and put his head down again on whatever he was lying on. He felt like he had been dragged through hell facedown. He was not looking forward to moving. After a few moments to stubbornness Lani rose his head again and looked around. Hammel. Thank God. He then realized he was snuggled very closely and very comfortably again Odion. And that cool breeze was coming from an open door. Lani really was fine with sleeping in the car all night. So long as it meant not moving.

Lani chewed on his lip as he realized how terrible he must seem. He needed to be able to stand on his own two feel not be coddled like a child. He collected himself and straightened himself into a sitting position regretting leaving the safety and warmth of Odion’s arms. He hissed and rested his head in his hands for a minute. It hurt like hell. He was no longer delusional he was very aware of all of the hurts and all of the sense he had probably been not making for the last hour or so. “Damn.” He grumbled unpleasantly and rubbed at his eyes and just left them covered. This was the worst headache he had ever had in his life. He was really glad that he had been so out of it earlier, he didn’t think he would have been able to handle this pain. He didn’t want to move away from Odion but he had to move. Moving hurt. Why did everything hurt? He had only hurt his head but somehow the weariness had translated into all of his limbs. He sat for a few moments getting his bearings and waiting for Odion to move out the door.

[Odion Martins]

Whoever had created the saying ‘all is far in love and war’ wasn’t kidding, and obviously knew what they were talking about. But at least Lani and Odion could combine the two, it seemed to be the only thing they were any good at. Odion didn’t want to hurt Lani any more than he wanted to go flying, but he was thinking about giving the blond the cold shoulder for a few days. For now though, everything was alright. It wasn’t perfect, and it was far from sane, but he wasn’t going bonkers like he had been upon realizing Lani had disappeared. It was better to have him and be mad at him, than to not have him at all. Odion could never give up on Lani knowing that Lani wouldn’t give up on him, especially when he had insisted others should get to know Odion as well. Odi could handle the skeletons in Lani’s closet, he just didn’t want to be one of them.

Thinking back on how this first began, it had always been Odion’s goal to get under Lani’s skin. At first it was because the blond seemed to think he was perfect, but Odion knew now how wrong he had been. Now he knew Lani was just as fragile as he was, but that didn’t make him weak. His vulnerabilities made him stronger, and he became a very real presence in Odion’s life. There was something within Lani that brought out something good in Odion, and he wanted to explore that before becoming jaded before he turned twenty. Between his powers and his lifestyle, he had honestly never expected to live this long. But to have also found someone he was, well, willing to do anything for? Reality would never make sense to him, except as a dimension.

He was Odion. Well that in and of itself made sense, but offered no explanation. Odion gulped at Lani’s confession. The best person he knew? Now how could that be? Odion’s world was already topsy-turvy, and if Odion didn’t trust and love Lani the way he did, he would swear Lani was lying to him. “Might as well enjoy the ride down,” Odion said, his eyebrows coming together to crinkle in the middle, confused with himself. He couldn’t believe anyone was perfect, and he certainly couldn’t believe that he was going anywhere but down. But maybe the fall would stop every once in a while, and the moments could be made sweeter before he hit rock bottom. Death was inevitable, but the way to get there was indeterminate. He looked at Lani, the only person who could bring out Odion’s inner philosopher.

Letting silent fill the air for a few moments longer, Odion wondered if Lani would remember any of this, so he threw caution to the wind. “I don’t think so. I think people look for comfort in impossibilities.” Because that was the basis of religion, worship, even love. It was hard to grasp and understand, and maybe one wasn’t supposed to unless they were naive. It was simply easier to believe in a god who had a purpose for humanity, than to think everyone exists at random. But many different addictions made people surrender, those were pretend gods. And still people worshiped other people, and Odion couldn’t agree with a cult. No, he didn’t think there was a god, and if there is, perhaps he’s been naive all this time. A lot of things which seemed impossible before were becoming true before his very eyes. It was a deep and marvelous question which required a lot of thinking, even when it was fully functioning. Now, the answer seemed nowhere in sight, if it even existed.

Smirking to himself, Odion wished he didn’t have to move Lani, but he couldn’t hold them up forever like this. The moment reminded him of other moments, like how Lani wasn’t an early riser, and even if he hadn’t been close to having a concussion a mere couple of hours ago, he still wouldn’t want to move a muscle. It was hard to convince him on Christmas morning to get out of bed, how much harder would this be? Lani seemed content on staying right where they were and Odion stretched his arms behind him, holding onto the ‘oh shit’ handle and resting his own head on his arm. “We really ought to go,” he insisted, knowing that the sooner they got into dorm, the sooner Lani could rest. That was the most important thing right now.

Slipping away carefully, Odion used the handle as a brace to help him out of the car, never once losing sight of Lani as he stood on solid ground. He at least, was feeling a little better, having had far more rest than Lani had had. Looking behind him, towards Hammel, Odion could just barely see a small light flickering from Jared’s cigarette. Well at least he hadn’t abandoned them completely just yet. Whatever Jared had believed to be true about Odion before, well, now he knew a lot better. Odion could hear Lani’s moans and groans, and he wondered to himself how often Lani found himself hurting, and to what extremity.

Reaching towards Lani, Odion didn’t bother hiding his concern or affection, especially since Lani didn’t seem to be making any move to leave the car. “Come on,” he said, barely audible as he put an arm around Lani’s shoulders, the other under his legs, using whatever strength he had left to set Lani upright on the ground beside him. Odion never left Lani’s side, his arm going instinctively under Lani’s arms. Dark eyes looked to the boarding school, a frown etched deeply into Odion’s face. This was going to be along walk back. But once they got there, he could work his magic again.

[Lani Hunter]

The regret and guilt was starting to set him and if it was working its way out in this state Lani didn’t what to know what it would be like when he woke up with awareness. He looked into the darkness afraid of what was going to come of all of this. He couldn’t blame Odion for being angry, furious even. Lani really was a thick person, for all of his planning he didn’t think things through and the thought of what would happen after all of this happened hadn’t crossed his mind. Well, he also hadn’t anticipated being completely out of commission following the confrontation. He didn’t anticipate being broken into pieces and not being able to deal with it on his own. He hadn’t anticipated that Odion would show up and have to save his sorry ass yet again. Maybe one of these days he would stop getting himself into trouble that Odion would have to get him out of. He ground his teeth in frustration. He should have been able to get himself out without help. He was a powerful telekinetic for god’s sake! He shouldn’t be so breakable.

That was the problem with being meta. They had all of this power. Unbelievable power, power that allowed them to do anything. But they were still human and humans were fragile. All power had a price. Lani’s price was pain and confusion. Lani smiled at Odion’s comment. “Down the rabbit hole.” He agreed unaware of Odion’s internal conflict. He was normally unobservant but now he was missing clues that were as big as signs because he couldn’t get his eyes or mind to focus. “I wonder if this is how everyone does it.” Lani wondered, by everyone he actually meant philosophers. Did all breakthroughs happen when one was on drugs or tired enough to dare to entertain thoughts that would send a sensible mind down a dark road? Maybe he should go senseless more often. Almost as soon as the thought crossed his mind he let out a little laugh. Well, what fun was it if one couldn’t laugh as they slowly slid toward insanity once in a while.

Lani glanced up at Odion as he answered. He was silent after that, it was a lot to think about. He could agree with it, for the most part. “What if the universe is god, but not god?” Lani asked, Lani was constantly cursing the universe and fate, what if that was god, and god was the universe. Not separate but at the same time different. Often times the problem with religion came from the personification of a god. Perhaps there was a god, just not the way one thought of it. It wasn’t something they could understand fully and so a lot of it was void of sense. He was lost in thought again and didn’t really realize where his thoughts ended and the dreams began. Truth be told anything that Odion said on the matter more would have been on deaf ears as Lani slid deeper into sleep.

There was a part of Lani that was calculating how long he could stay stationary after waking when Odion spoke up again. Moving. Lani grumbled something inaudible and moved. He was really glad that he didn’t get dizzy upon sitting up. An hour ago certainly but now it just hurt. He rubbed more at his eyes and rested his elbows on his knees hiding his face from the light and from the world with his hands. He was planning on hobbling his way to his room and passing out for the next week. And God help whoever disturbed his slumber. That was assuming they could. Lani was a heavy sleeper under normal circumstances, all that kept him from being completely unaware was his power, but his power was shut down until further notice and he was going to sleep like a bear in hibernation.

He blinked feeling Odion’s arms and hearing his voice. He hadn’t realized that he had actually fallen asleep sitting upright. Now that he was awake again he made to move at the same time Odion moved him. Startled Lani grabbed at Odion’s shirt until he was set on the ground. He was both grateful and bitter about the action. “My head hurts, there’s nothing wrong with my legs,” he grumbled ungraciously. His feet under him though Lani wasn’t so sure he was telling the truth. He was shaky at best and that was just standing. Lani hung his head in shame and looked away from Odion focusing on his feet. Now that he was aware of himself he was embarrassed and ashamed at his own state of weakness. He wanted to hide, hell he almost preferred that Odion leave him in the dark car.

He gripped Odion’s shirt focusing on his feet and moving. This was worse than the worse hangover he had ever had and at the same time he felt drunk. If there was one thing Lani hated it was being seen broken and weak by someone else. If at all possible he held it all in until he was alone but he knew the past few hours had been an overexposure of his own weakness. He wanted to tell Odion that he didn’t need his help but he did. He wanted to walk on his own but he couldn’t. He tried. He pushed himself a little away from Odion still holding onto his shirt but only made it a step or two before he realized it wasn’t going to work. He ground his teeth in pain and frustration. He closed his eyes against a wave of pain and clung to Odion as it threatened to bring him to his knees. He had been feeling better, and he was at least better in a mental capacity but the pain meds were starting to wear off and the reaction headache was striking with a vengeance.

[Odion Martins]

Lani needed to quit his worrying, and just allow himself to be sometimes. Not everything could be planned. He also need to rest assured that Odion would never make fun of him for crying, no matter how much or how little. Perhaps one of Odion’s hidden talents was just how understanding he could be to someone he was loyal to. A good plan usually needed to be slept on for a night or two. Odion hadn’t concocted his plan for keeping Lani’s boss away until about a week later. He decided that at thought point, the people in Boston would be ready and willing to get Lani back on their side, but Odi had done well to be the wild card that he was, playing ignorant and curious at the same time. At least he had gotten a layout of the building, knew where important things were, and had done other snooping Lani’s boss didn’t know about.

Maybe they were more like demi-gods, like Achilles. He was powerful, could beat the best of the best, but all it took was one hit to the heel and he was down for the count. Or like Goliath, who had awesome strength but was no match for David’s slingshot. And Samson, whose power resided in his hair, but he had been weak of flesh and heart. Something about stories and their not so perfect heroes reminded Odion of real life, that maybe they weren’t really gods, and they couldn’t control the outcome of everything. They were fragile in some places and strong in others. Odion wasn’t sure what to say about the comments Lani was making, so he let the silence fill the back of the car. It felt like Lani was slipping away on him, so it was best to be vigilant when the blond couldn’t be.

What if? Odion hadn’t thought about that before, and he certainly couldn’t disprove such a rambling no matter what he said or how he thought it out. “Then we’re back to square one,” he decided on, not really his best answer, but what more could be said about such an obscure observation? His head was pounding and if the universe was god itself, why wasn’t earth more of a paradise? But maybe it was beyond their comprehension and all of this talk was simple nonsense. His mind continued to work on the question as they both began to fall into sleep, or maybe a coma.

Odion hadn’t noticed that Lani had fallen asleep again either, he was too focused on getting Lani inside, and hopefully safe. Ignoring Lani’s pride, Odion was glad Lani was no longer a blubbering mess – it meant he was already on the road to recovery, although it would be a painful one. Lani wouldn’t be able to get Odion to leave him alone even if he promised all the answers of the universe. In fact, Lani should feel embarrassed, perhaps he would remember how he felt in this very moment, and that would deter him from ever repeating something as catastrophic akin to what happened tonight. Odion didn’t fight Lani back when stubbornness kicked in and Lani tried to get by on his own. He paused midstride when Lani seemed unable to make another move, holding back a sigh of impatience. Lani wasn’t the only one in pain, but he was too stubborn to just let Odion carry him inside. “You’re going to kill yourself if you keep going on like this,” he said, leaning into Lani to keep him upright.

Jared strolled back to them lazily, looking amused. “Not the best time for a merry stroll,” he said, going to Lani’s other side, and between him and Odion, Lani wouldn’t have to do much walking. “I’ll slap your stupid face,” Odion warned, glaring at Jared, Lani in between them. Jared only laughed. “No you won’t mate, can’t risk having your boyfriend here fall over.” Odion didn’t make a sound, a few walls coming back up in his defense as he and Jared guided Lani into the dorms. It was a daunting task, and he couldn’t imagine how Lani was feeling, but at least things could only get better from here. Hopefully. After barking Lani’s dorm room to Jared and getting him into his room, Odion and Jared made sure Lani was sitting upright in his bed, Odion stepping back momentarily with his hands on his hips, exhausted, while Jared patted Lani’s shoulders, as if he wasn’t in enough pain. Odion glared at Jared as he stepped away, unable to accept the fact that he had let Bell help with any of this.

“You need anything stronger from the nurse’s quarters mate?” Jared asked, waiting by the door. “Or, I’m sure gingerbread man here has liquor in his room somewhere.”

[Lani Hunter]

When they were both in better health and perhaps after Odion to start speaking to Lani again they would have to talk about what would need to be done about his boss. Lani doubted that there was going to be a long recovery time this time around. There was no doubt that his boss was furious. Why did he still keep thinking of him as his boss? He wasn’t working for that man anymore. He needed to get someone with eyes on his family. As far as he knew they were safe enough because he had yet to be followed home. But he could always be wrong. As he worked through names he was coming up short of people he could ask to keep an eye on his family to make sure they were safe from a mob boss. Not a lot of people were going to say yes to that. Though Lani had an idea of one person that might. He had several connections, broken since his break from his boss but still going on behind the scenes. A lot of his connections had been made outside of his boss’s knowledge and even some who he had gone to through his boss were not in the least loyal to the man and hated him for some reason, he could trust them as far as ‘the enemy of my enemy is my friend’ held.

Back to square one certainly and that was the last thought before he found himself woken again. If Odion thought Lani had been grumpy and unmotivated to move most mornings he was about to find out just how bad it could get. Odion was partially lucky that Lani’s head was in too much pain and his power too drained to do anything or else he might find himself dealing with a very grumpy telekinetic. At least now all he had to deal with was grumpy Lani. Odion could handle that. Odion would probably do more than handle it. Even thinking about how unhappy he was and how he wanted to share his unpleasantness with everyone. Chances of Odion letting him get away with that were very slim. Injured or not. He rubbed at his face and eyes marveling at how sore even his eyes felt. He knew he had cried a lot in the past few hours but he hadn’t actually thought about the ramifications of such an action. Goes to show what happens when the world come crashing down on someone. He would have been perfectly fine falling back asleep and spending the night in the back of a car. To him it seemed the best option, especially over moving.

Lani grumbled unhappy that he wasn’t even going to be given that option. He was going to have to move. If the road to recovery started with the trip back to Hammel Lani was going to offer to go backward. The problem was that Lani was without a plan, yet again. He didn’t have a way forward and he didn’t have a way back. He didn’t voice the internal turmoil in his mind and the threat of hopelessness. He was more than ashamed of his state and even more so of what he had done to get here. He had been cocky and it had been a double edged sword. Lani didn’t know what to do, he was lost again and he couldn’t control that. His power was still out of commission and the frustration was making his stubbornness spur up with a vengeance. He could control something and he would do so by not being carried like a cripple. Thoughts lost in this dark and unhappy mood he unintentionally delivered a harsh glare to Odion. “I’ll be fine.” He huffed dismissing Odion’s worries with a roll of his eyes. He wasn’t going to kill himself. He was far too stubborn to die.

Lani finally remembered Jared when he came strolling back and he narrowed his eyes. It was him who pulled him away from Odion. Lani bared his teeth in a feral manner, he was going to have a hard time being convinced that Jared taking him out of the building was the best solution. Lani glared at Jared and snapped, “How about I slap you then?” Lani was not a good person in pain, he was vicious and he would take out his pain and anger on the closest person who did the smallest thing. And at the moment Lani was between two people. One he loved and the other he didn’t know from Adam. So he was going to take it out of Jared. Unlike a normal person Lani had no sense of gratitude when he was in a mood like this and he hated being unable to take care of himself and somehow in his mind that became their fault. He could take care of himself but they weren’t letting him. It was a strange thing that Lani didn’t understand, he just did. He also didn’t take kindly to being talked about like he wasn’t there. And he wouldn’t fall over; he could stand on his own. So he liked to tell himself.

But luckily for everyone once they actually started moving Lani was too focused on simply putting one foot ahead of the other and not falling. He was glad by the time they got back to his room for the support but never would he admit willingly that he wouldn’t have been able to do it himself. He stumbled several times over uneven pavement and dear god stairs. If he never saw stairs again it would be too soon. He was exhausted by the time they got up the four flights and could think of nothing but the pain and the exhaustion. Sitting on his bed he groaned and held his face in his hands and trying to find the motivation it would take to reach into his pocket and get his pills. Lani slowly lifted his head. Gingerbread man? Why hadn’t he thought of that? Now that he was in motion he set to work getting out of his shoes. He didn’t care if he got into bed covered in blood and in his bloody clothing. He just wanted to sleep but he didn’t want his shoes in bed. It was strange the things that were important when on the brink of exhaustion.

His hands felt big and bulky and his shoe laces were fighting him. It took him eventually just driving the heel off with his opposite foot to get them off. He sighed, a sound that came out closer to a hopeless groan and did his best to ignore the fact that he was panting still from the walk over and that sweat was dotting his forehead. The only thought running through his head was about how he was going to have a prayer of convincing people that he was fine if he couldn’t even get his shoes off without a struggle.

[Odion Martins]

His boss – now this was going to be the most fun Odion had had in a long time. Part of him was looking forward to it, and the other part of him was calling him insane. But he wasn’t one to listen very well one way or another. Odion wanted to be there for Lani, no matter what the cost. Being with Lani had put him in the spotlight. Being with Lani had brought on more trouble in Odion’s life than ever before, but, he wouldn’t change a thing even if he could. If no one could help Lani from Boston, Odion would do it himself. He’d run his own power into the ground if it meant keeping Lani’s family safe. Now, Odion was just as passionate about them as Lani was, and it was strange to find purpose in something that wasn’t even his.

Glancing at Lani, Odion had to wonder if he looked half as bad. Lani was bruised, bleeding, and trying to keep it all together. His eyes were tired, and bloodshot from crying. His hair was a mess and his dark clothing wasn’t hiding anything though maybe he wished it could. The ground he treaded on wasn’t going to swallow him whole, though he might wish it would. And nothing could hide the embarrassment he felt right now, the displeasure and everything from the night was written on his face. Lani might have a few more scars from tonight to add to his collection the last time they visited Boston. As much as Lani wanted to get away from him, Odion was standing put, stubborn as ever. And despite how Lani was feeling, or how he looked, Odion thought the opposite. Lani was ever handsome in the face of adversity, he was brave, and strong. Now, he just needed to learn how to be weak.

Jared pursed his lips together in a small ‘o’, a crooked grin on his face. “Guess I’ll just let go and see how gravity handles you, eh?” Odion simply looked ahead and made sure no one would fall, and no one got slapped. He shouldn’t have started anything, everything was high strung as it was. But he didn’t do anything to hide the smile on his face. Neither of them expected thanks and praise from Lani, they were used to living in a thankless world. But they were thieves, and thieves had to rescue one another sometimes, Odion knew that best when the gang first took him in. Jared had been the only one to get him to talk. Maybe Lani was quite content knowing that he could handle himself, but Odion knew better, especially since Lani was currently tripping over his own two feet and would probably be passed out in the grass had Odion and Jared not been there to support him. Lani was only as strong as his weaknesses allowed him to be.

“Not now Jared, okay?” Odion asked, one hand running over his face, followed by the other. His fingertips pressed loosely together in mock prayer, his eyes begging Jared to just leave. “Have it your way,” Jared said with a shrug, making to leave but giving Odion one last glance of concern. Bell was loyal, maybe too loyal. Odion waited until he could hear Jared leaving the dorm, or maybe that was the ringing in his ear, but it would have to do. He neared Lani again, who seemed fiercely annoyed rather than seriously injured, even though Odion knew it was both. Lani was still wearing all of his clothes, but Odion had stolen the blond’s precious pills without his noticing. It was for the best, seeing as getting a pill bottle out of Lani’s pants now would be next to impossible, uncomfortable, and the epitome of awkward. “Here,” Odion said, popping open the bottle and handing it over to Lani. Odion sat gingerly on the bed, his eyes searching Lani’s face. He wasn’t leaving, not tonight.

[Lani Hunter]

The path ahead was daunting. Lani looked at it and all he saw was a set of ordeals and trials that would have challenged the strongest of men. But he had also learned a harsh lesson today. He was not the strongest of men. He wasn’t even close. He was so easily broken. He couldn’t take this burden on his own. He should, but he knew it would crush him. Lani did his best to swallow the self loathing that was starting to grow in his heart. He gritted his teeth he wondered what face he would see in the mirror this time. The only thing keeping his heart from shattering was the fact that Odion was standing by him. Not leaving. At least not yet. But at the same time that was reassuring Lani wanted to wallow in his self pity and fury at himself and the world and he didn’t want someone to witness that. It was the ugliest part of him. Lani was good at controlling his hate and anger and hiding it expertly until something tipped him over the edge. The last person Lani wanted to see him like this was Odion.

Lani felt like the fool in a play. Nothing like this happened in real life. This wasn’t supposed to happen in real life. Fiction was supposed to be more unbelievable than this. How was it that reality was more unbelievable than fiction. If Lani had the energy he would hit Jared. Lani let out a feral growl but didn’t respond to Jared’s challenge. It wouldn’t be forgotten and the next time Lani was in full health, after Lani had enough sense to know that he should be thanking him not threatening to hit him, Jared better do well not to provoke Lani again. For whatever reason Lani felt terribly combative. Lani saw himself as not hitting Jared as his thanks for not letting him eat pavement. If Lani had it his way he would be walking strong, a stone man with no weaknesses. But he was human and it didn’t work that way. And there tended to be a stone heart attached to a stone body. It was endlessly frustrating that he couldn’t help himself and that in many ways was worse than the pain for Lani.

So that was perhaps the reason removing his shoes himself became so important. He had to do it no matter how tired it made him. And since standing was out of the question and his power was definitely out of the question he was left with his hands and his feet and curses rolling easily off of his tongue. Lani felt no love lost as Jared left and he only felt more bitter that his mind reminded him what had gone on for the past hour. He was going to have to thank Jared. He groaned and placed a hand over his eyes. His pride was never going to recover from this. Lani cracked open his eyes as he heard Odion’s voice. He almost cried with relief. Odion was still here. He pushed himself into a sitting position and upended the bottle into his mouth. He didn’t know how many pills there were and he didn’t care. He just wanted the pain to stop. “Thanks,” Lani muttered and closed his eyes and rested his head in his hands.

Lani just waited for the pills to take effect. It was taking too long. Lani cracked an eye open and looked at Odion in the darkness. “How is your head?” He was doing good at ignoring the pain now that he was again stationary. Lani allowed his eyes to side shut again and wondered how long it would take for sleep to take him over again. He almost felt it happening and suddenly became very frightened of what his mind would make up behind his closed lids. What if his nightmare came true and Odion was gone when he woke? What if his nightmares didn’t let him go? What if this time was worse than last time? He looked up at Odion his head snapping into position. He winced a little, he really needed to remember that quick motions were not his friends. “Odion? Odion, please…” Lani’s tongue tied and he took a moment to loosen it, “Will you stay with me?” There were a lot of meanings in that simple plea. Don’t leave. Not now, not soon, not ever. At the moment Lani’s mind was alright with convincing itself that he meant right now. How was he supposed to explain to Odion that he was afraid of what his own mind would tell him? How on earth was he supposed to say he was afraid?

[Odion Martins]

They were just shoes, and Lani was making a big deal out of nothing. So what if he got them off or not, that would remain a small detail in his mind once tonight was through if the memory remained at all. And he would probably feel even more foolish to realize once he was in his right mind, that he just had to take his shoes off. But Odion didn’t complain, comment, or say a word. He just watched at waited, not having the energy to argue with a man who had been crying for the better part of a few hours, and who desperately need mental and physical rest. No one was going to ask Lani to do what he was so worried about, and really, maybe it would do him well to simple not give a fuck about anyone but himself at the moment. As Lani cast most of the pills into his mouth, Odion glanced down, willing himself to simply remain.

“You’re welcome,” Odion said, picking distractedly at the bed sheets. He needed to keep his tired, aching mind focused. It had been a long, challenging night to say the least, and Odi couldn’t go time wandering when he had Lani to attend to, and strangely, it made him want to be stronger. He was just about to send Lani through time again, since the blond had closed his eyes, but was glad he hadn’t. “It’s alrigh’,” he said, feeling a tight sensation in his temples and at the side of his head. His jaw was sore from clenching it for the better part of the night, but he didn’t care about any of that. Lani shut his eyes again. Odion looked out the window in the dorm, remembering how the stars were one of Lani’s favorite things. He only looked back when Lani startled at something.

“That was the plan,” he said, feeling compelled to just reach over, and touch Lani’s face. And he did, because there wasn’t time to process anything, just to do. “Even if you hadn’t asked.” Odion smiled sort of, the pain in his head sharp, quick to come and just as quick to leave. “I’ll be here all night.” Forever.

[Lani Hunter]

It was strange how something like shoes could become so important. It was the smallest things sometimes that broke the back of the camel. It was irrational but it was all Lani had at the moment. And luckily for his sanity he succeeded and didn’t get tossed into another raging depression. He poked his power frustrated with how much pain he was in. It shifted and it only caused more throbbing. It was like when a tooth was pulled and the tongue just kept poking the cavity as if expecting something to be there when it wasn’t. It wouldn’t heal with the insistent poking and yet he couldn’t leave it alone. The pills were working too slowly. If Lani had any ability to move he would be rummaging and downing bottle after bottle. Some part of him knew that was a very bad thing but he had very little capacity to care at the moment. He was aware of very few things, pain being the most dominant and his own shame taking up the majority of the space left.

As much as he hated Odion to see him like this he didn’t want the redhead to go. Besides this wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been when he had been loopy in the car. He remembered about half of what happened and it was all kind of fuzzy. He was dangerously close to just passing out but he was terrified. Belatedly Lani realized he should have save some pills for Odion, if the redhead had a hurt head, pain meds would do the trick. He looked down at his hands clasped over his knees and wondered how it was that he had fallen so hard. He hadn’t been a bad child. Just a desperate one. What had he done in his childhood that would make him be punished for it now? Or was it a past life? Why did Caroline have to get sick? Knowing what he would become for her, why had the universe set it into motion? Why did he have to be found by his boss instead of some group like Odion had? Why? Why? Why? He squeezed his eyes shut and tried his best to pull himself out of his own pity party.

He opened his eyes to look at Odion when he answered and he smiled a tired but genuine smile of relief. “Thank you.” That was all he could ask for. He leaned his head unconsciously into Odion’s hand stealing the warmth and comfort of his presence. He was vaguely aware that he should probably clean some of the blood off or at least get fresh clothing on before going to sleep but he really he was just done with this whole day. Done with the world. In reality they were adults, but at the same time they were children who were pushed into adulthood without their consent. They still had the cockiness of youth and then life knocked them down with a terrible check of reality. He grumbled something unintelligible about pain and rubbed his head wishing he could just take it off and get it back after it was done being in so much pain. Taking the hand that was on his face and holding onto it Lani closed his eyes and his world tipped as he flopped onto his bed. He was half tempted to stay there with his legs hanging off of the edge. It was comfortable and moving hurt. He was going to have to get rid of these sheets after he slept in them. There was no way he was going to risk his parents seeing bloodstained sheets and then have to explain what happened.

He didn’t want to let go of Odion. “I’m gonna kill whoever hit me.” He said into the darkness unaware still that it had been Odion that hit him. But he was out for revenge. He wanted someone to know how bad he hurt now because of that. He had had a good handle of his power and he would have left weary and with a excruciating headache but the blow had shattered his delicate concentration and well, Lani had never in his life been in this much pain. He moved his free hand and gently touched the rim of the wound on his head. He gently moved toward the center feeling the dried blood and the overall good bruise he had there. He hissed a little to himself and pulled his hand away. How was he going to explain this away? It wasn’t as if he could say he fell. He could always say Venn hit him, he supposed. But Venn hadn’t been around lately.

[Odion Martins]

Odion would never understand the way Lani treated his power like it was some kind of being, like someone he could talk to who had a separate personality from the one he had. Perhaps it was a matter in differing opinions and how Odion couldn’t try to put a personality on something as far and wide as time itself, but he was trying very hard to understand. He wanted to validate Lani’s thinking and try to understand Lani’s power better. Like why it was hurting Lani so badly right now. If it really was a person, Odion would like nothing more than to kick it’s ass for causing Lani so much pain. But all he had was his own power, which was currently caressing Lani’s aching power. It was the best he could do other than actually being with Lani, and he planned on doing that as well.

At Lani’s request, Odion would show the blond what had happened in the car on the way home. But not tonight, and not any time soon. They both needed to recover from this before delving deeper into it. It was a healing wound, you couldn’t pick the scab off until the skin had completely healed underneath unless you wanted it to bleed all over again. Odion’s mind wasn’t as hurt as Lani’s was right now, and if he had wanted pills, he would’ve taken them. Or was he being selfless and not realizing it? Either way, Lani needed them more than he did and he could handle the pain he was in.

Odion smiled absently, his mind on nothing but Lani. Not Lani a bloody mess, but Lani on the way to getting out of infinite trouble. And he, self-titled the worst person on the planet, was going to help. Lani leaned back into his bed, and refusing to let Odion go, pulled his hand along. Odi slumped forward, practically crawling over Lani. Odion leaned over to kiss Lani on the forehead very softly, before turning a bit to get Lani’s legs tucked in for bed. Honestly, Odion was surprised at himself, unsure of where this wealth of hidden strength was coming from. It was nothing short of a miracle, considering he was still using his power to help heal Lani. Odion didn’t even flinch at the words Lani spoke. “Then you’ll have a dead boyfriend.” The blond had every right to be angry, but so did he.

“You can kill me tomorrow,” Odion said, lying down beside Lani over the sheets. He was sorry that Lani was hurting now, but at the same time he felt Lani deserved it. He knew the thinking was warped, but it was what it was. Truth was, he was fed up with Lani always thinking he didn’t need anybody. Well, he needed Odion, and since the redhead was willing, Lani should just stop being so damn stubborn. Unless Lani was planning on talking all night, Odion set back to work on healing the blond physically. They could work on the psychological ruining of each other tomorrow, perhaps after he was murdered by his boyfriend.

[Lani Hunter]

Lani kept poking and finally a flash of blind pain rewarded his effort and so Lani recoiled from his power and left it be. It was comfortable where it was and was surrounded by something warm. It was as if his power had fallen asleep and Lani was just too stubborn to follow it. It was something Lani did to distance himself from the power that he did have. It scared him so to think of it as something that was connected to him but not completely him made it easier. But it also held him back. And in times like this now he was paying for it. It was like when someone was afraid of using their power combatively and then when there came a time to use it in a fight they lost control. But he was slowly starting to trust it and the more he let it be him the more he learned about it and the more things he was able to accomplish. It made him feel powerful and amazing. It also made him feel distant. Like his body was only a vessel. When he really let his power come into him he was there in the mental way but one could forget about being able to multitask. If anything disturbed his body that was it. He knew he could do it but before he could work on keeping his body and his power he had to be able to let his power be complete and master that.

Save for anything important that was discussed Lani was going to be perfectly fine going the rest of his life pretending like his breakdown in the car had not happened. Then again maybe Odion should show him that anyways, it would be a good healthy dose of humility for the telekinetic. And like most medicine it would go down bitter. He knew he had held Odion when he cried more than once but for some reason it was strange the other way around. Part of him knew it shouldn’t be but it was so hard to go from the protector to the protected, because then one had to wonder at their own skill at protecting people at all. He squeezed his eyes shut as the blonde demonness’s accusations rose in his mental ears. ‘Tell me how you were protecting her by lying to her? If I remember correctly it got both her and Odion kidnapped. Tell me how that’s protection. You’re the worst body guard someone could ask for.’ The memory stung and he squeezed his eyes shut.

She had been right. He was a failure. The one thing he thought he was good at. Or the one part of him that was good. He couldn’t even protect people. Lani just closed his eyes cracking them open a little when he felt Odion’s lips on his forehead. Lani grumbled at being moved but relented only because he was so tired. He did shift a little bit so that he was at least mostly on the bed. Oh the woes of being tall. He was weary of being moved and weary of the fact that he couldn’t do it himself. He held back a snap and instead swallowed what was left of his shattered pride and muttered a thank you. But then Odion broke the news. Lani’s eyes snapped open and he shot up into a sitting position. Lani swore creatively and his free hand went to his head as the blood rushed out of his brain and he was hit by a wave of pain that seriously threatened to give him lights out until morning. But Odion was right, Lani was furious. Odion was the reason his power was shattered right now? “Why the hell would you do that?” He asked his frustration coming out and his pain only adding to his anger. Odion really should have waited until Lani was more mentally stable before dropping that kind of bomb on him.

Lani blinked slowly glaring at Odion in the darkness. Somehow being able to kill Odion tomorrow appeased him a little bit and he laid back. If Odion hadn’t been there he would be dead right now. So as much as he wanted to throttle Odion right now he owed the redhead his life. He huffed a sigh. And to be fair Lani had knocked him out as well. He huffed clearly still displeased but said, “Let’s just call us even then.” Lani just didn’t understand the motive behind it. Why, when Lani had it more or less under control, had Odion decided it would be a good idea to knock him senseless. He got that Odion had to be angry after Lani knocked him out but he could have at least waited to extract revenge! Lani’s thinking was flawed but he couldn’t see any sense in it.

[Odion Martins]

Odion was still trying to understand how Lani related to his power as another being. At present, something curious was happening. When Odion extended his time powers to help Lani, he felt something strong, like a kind of colliding. It wasn’t an unpleasant sensation, but it felt like something had a tight hold on him and wasn’t letting go. Odion decided not to mention the phenomenon. Odion had his suspicions, but didn’t have the energy to dwell on the fact that his power had found someone else he was inexplicably intertwined with. His number one goal was making Lani feel better as quickly as possible, and quickness was Odion’s specialty. Odion had always known that Lani was powerful and amazing, he was just hoping Lani would have the same picture sooner or later. They should really sit down and talk about these things…

Odion had no intentions of bringing up Lani’s emotional breakdown any more than he was going to bring up his which happened nearly a year ago. Besides, Odi cired all the time, he didn’t need to hurt Lani more than he had been. Odion didn’t think Lani had truly learnt he lesson, despite all that had happened, but he was well on his way. It would only do more damage to point out the obvious – that Lani was weak and needed someone to lean on. It was okay to need this, if one were not a thief. Some things didn’t have to be spoken in order to be understood, and Lani’s breakdown drew Odion closer with every stuttered breath taken. So unless Lani wanted to revisit the moment, it wasn’t necessary to talk about it. Odion didn’t doubt Lani’s strength, but he did wonder at Lani’s humanity. It was a beautiful awakening. Odion didn’t want a bodyguard, someone who felt distant and unrelatable. He wanted Lani, and yes, all of Lani’s flaws.

The blond didn’t need to worry so much – Odion wasn’t going to get himself kidnapped. With a head hunter on the loose, Odi decided it would be best to lay low for a while. Ignoring Lani’s terrible mood was yet another mercy Odion bestowed upon his love. His hand fluttered around Lani wrist for a moment as thanks were muttered. Lani wouldn’t be thanking him for long. The blond shot up like a bat out of hell and Odion gripped Lani’s shoulder, lest he should collapse and hit his head on the way down. “Lay down,” Odion commanded, though he didn’t press it upon Lani – he would if he had to though. Once Lani had the capacity to dwell on why Odion had done what he had done, then Odion needn’t say another word.

Watching Lani apprehensively, Odion could feel Lani’s glare on him. It didn’t bother him, because if Lani wouldn’t have knocked him out in the first place, they wouldn’t be in this mess. There was a thin line between love and hate and every day was a constant reminder of that, depending on the situation of course. Odion loved Lani, but sometimes he hated him too. At least the feeling was mutual. Odion didn’t say anything as he settled next to Lani, thinking that they were far from even. But nothing was fair in love and war – Lani should know that. Hitting Lani hadn’t been for revenge, as Lani would soon realize. Odion wasn’t a stupid, careless man. Hitting Lani just for the sake of doing so would’ve been as dumb as kissing him. No, Odion’s actions were thoughtful and accurate. If Lani knew that, he would eventually figure out why Odion had hit him, even though revenge was a pleasant cherry on top of the shitty cake.

Closing his eyes, Odion felt his power creeping across Lani, bringing him forward in time and then bringing him back to the present so Odion could make sure Lani was still breathing in real time. Odion would’ve sent himself through time as well, but that took more power than what he had. “One day you’ll trust me…” he said softly, wondering who he was trying to convince.

[Lani Hunter]

If there was one thing that Lani went out of his way to avoid it was talking about his problems. It wasn’t a good thing and it certainly wasn’t going to make fixing his mess any easier. He gritted his teeth in a terrible grimace as an image of teeth pulling came to mind. No, this was not going to be an easy fix. This wasn’t going to be a quick fix. This was going to be something that he needed to work on. He needed someone to help him work on. And here was someone begging Lani to let him help and Lani was turning a deaf ear thinking he knew better than anyone else. One of these days he’d learn he didn’t really know it all. He didn’t have all the answers and he couldn’t always fix it. Worse Lani could feel the seeds of self pity planting themselves. This was going to be a long night. He hated feeling self pity but half the time he felt like he thrived on it. And if he was thriving on it there was the increase in the loathing that pulled from not being strong enough to do anything other than wallow in self pity. It was a vicious cycle because soon would come the self loathing. Gripping Odion’s hand in his own Lani was alternately ashamed and grateful. Perhaps he should just stop trying to understand what he was feeling. Just for now.

Well, that lasted all of ten seconds. Odion dropped a bomb and Lani didn’t know if he wanted scream at Odion to leave or hold onto him tighter. Nevertheless he glared and he was furious. He didn’t want to understand or know what the motivation behind the whole thing was. Partially because he knew there was a logical explanation and that would make his anger unjustified. Right now he just wanted to be angry. It was a strange combative feeling and he just wanted tear Odion apart with his tongue. He wanted to use all of his energy on the anger so he could ignore the frustration and the way his half conscious power was clinging to the time turner. He really had no right to be angry. He had started it after all. But he wasn’t feeling rational anymore. He winced and realized that his pain was thrusting him into this terrible mood. But that didn’t stop him from feeling so furious.

His eyes flashed a dangerous color at Odion’s command. His lips opened and he was prepared to let Odion have it but it stuck in his throat. Instead he blew air out his nose and tried his best to be calm as he expressed his fury. “I’ve never been in pain like this. I had control over my power I would have felt a little sore. But then you… You… you shattered me!” Calm wasn’t working. He didn’t know how else to describe it. When he had been hit it felt like his carefully build control had been shattered like glass. “And why did you have to bring along that joker? Do you need witnesses to my failure?” He demanded everything coming out at once. In truth Lani forgot Jared’s name and didn’t know Odion couldn’t drive. It wasn’t fair, he had hit Odion and Odion was in pain too but Lani wasn’t feeling like being fair. Lani was just angry and telling him that Odion was the one that hit him just made Odion the number one target of his anger. But in all honesty it was hard to be furious and love someone at the same time. And the latter won. Lani gritted his teeth and looked away from Odion for a moment. “Sorry.” He said the memory of the angry words bitter on his tongue. “I didn’t mean that.” He couldn’t keep doing this. Begging Odion to stay and then pushing him away. He rubbed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was yelling at Odion and he shouldn’t. He didn’t want to. It just seemed to be an easier alternative to yelling at himself.

Lani finally did as he was told. He had been angry and now he felt ashamed. He wouldn’t blame Odion at all for walking out the door now. Odion was right, Lani didn’t understand love or being in love. He didn’t understand why someone would stay after something like that. Odion was selfless and Lani was selfishly taking advantage. It felt like he was in the stages of denial. He had been broken then angry and now he just felt hopeless and tired. Lani closed his eyes and a nightmare played out behind his lids. Odion was furious, Lani was furious. Odion stormed out and Lani didn’t have the energy to get to his feet and go after him. Maybe he was paranoid. But either way he now held onto Odion’s hand with both of his own. Lani closed his eyes and when he opened them something was different. He felt both more and less tired. He felt mentally exhausted and physically drained but he felt calmer. He tried to find Odion’s eyes in the darkness and when he failed he closed his eyes again. Lani bit into his lip until he tasted blood. He would not let anymore tears fall. But something in Odion’s voice broke his heart and he wished he could tell Odion he did trust him. He wished he could tell Odion he would wake up tomorrow and trust him.

Lani held onto Odion’s captive hand and brought it to his lips to give it a gentle kiss. Odion must think he was bipolar. Perhaps he was. But just for tonight. “You’re in the stars,” Lani muttered to himself and he imagined the endless expanses of stars. Odion was a constellation. Something real but untouchable. Lani closed his eyes and shook his head slowly at himself. “Meeting you is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” Well, there was definitely something like bipolar going on tonight. Hopefully after sleeping a few, or several, hours would fix that. He felt a few tears slip out of his eyes and his shoulders shook back as he held back the floodgate again. One day he would trust Odion. He was going to try his hardest to make that day come sooner rather than later. That was a vow he would remember.