Distracting Fish (Eloise)

[Eloise Eaton]

Eloise could almost see it in her head, the image of Travis's face when he found the fate of his dog. Along with happier memories of a younger Travis and a little corgi scampering around him. Travis throwing a stick and Skipper chasing after it on his stubby legs, tongue hanging out of his mouth. Eloise had to shake her head a bit to detach herself. She hadn't even really been reading Travis, but every now and then when somebody became overwhelmed with memories, it was like Eloise was there too - a fly on the wall in somebody else's daydream. It was weird. "I'm... sorry to hear that," Eloise finally said when she pulled herself out of the mini trance.

She picked up a stick and drug it through the mud near the water's edge. "I bet you guys were like... typical boy-and-hi-dog best friends," she said with a smile. "I can tell you really loved him as much as he apparently loved everybody else." She had seen it through Travis' eyes, just how much he loved the dog. And he lost him just before he was recruited. Travis's life was literally turned completely upside down before Hammel. Eloise was starting to think that her and Travis couldn't be more different. She had barely changed at all since attending meta-schools. Her father had been preparing her for them forever. She never became emotionally attached to everything. It seemed like everything Travis did was rooted in emotion. Yet Travis made more sense to Eloise than anybody else she'd met at Hammel thus far. "I've only known you for a few minutes..." Eloise started, "But I can honestly say I'm already a little Jealous of you, Trav." She looked over to him with a half smile. "You don't know it... but you have something in you a lot of people don't... including myself. You have a lot of other things I wish I had too. Like emotions. And pets," Eloise laughed at the addition before turning back to the doodle she was creating in the mud. There was a crude Eiffel Tower as well as the leaning tower. A skyline that only Eloise would know was New York. "Memories... I wish I had more of those," she said. "At least significant ones."

[Travis Morgan]

"Yeah," Travis mused, "I used to say that I liked my dog better than most people." He crouched down near the water and watched it rush past. He liked running water. It always felt soothing to him. Fresh, and clean.

He looked up when Eloise said she was jealous. There was a confused look on his face, but he was glad to get off the subject of his dead dog. What was there to possibly be jealous about him? Well, apparently there was something about him. He turned back to the water, sifting through feelings and abstract thoughts. It was nice to know that there was something Ella liked about him so much that she wished more people had it... But he would have liked to know exactly what that thing was. He felt so very lost.

"I'm sure you have significant ones somewhere," he said at her last comment. He didn't know how to respond to the other thing. He wasn't good at taking compliments. Usually, his knee-jerk reaction was to turn it around and make himself seem less awesome. Here, there wasn't anything to turn around, and he wasn't sure what else to say. "You've been everywhere. I bet your memories are really pretty."

[Eloise Eaton]

"I have the same memories as everybody else who visits these places," Eloise explained to Travis. "They're beautiful, yeah..." she admitted, "But they aren't particularly special. I don't have any significant thing in my life to call mine. Nothing so spectacular that nobody else knows what I'm talking about when I describe it." Eloise felt like she was just waiting for that thing in her life to pop up and hit her in the back of the head. "You have your dog and your family and your boyfriend. These fantastic people who clearly mean so much to you."

Eloise paused, before turning to Travis again, "I mean... I have my dad but he's a little... hard to talk to sometimes." She wiped her hand across the pictures she had drawn, and washed the mud from her hands in the creek. "Sometimes I just wish I even knew what had happened to my mom," Ella muttered, not feeling like getting into it, but not being able to hold in the little spark of resentment she had for her dad hiding the story of her mother from El for all these years.

Eloise, sighed, but then straightened her back and took a deep breath. "Sorry for killing the mood there," she said, knowing that Travis must have felt even the little spurt of emotion Eloise was able to have. She recomposed herself pretty quickly though. To anybody who wasn't an Empath, they may have not even been able to detect the change in Eloise's demeanor. But a little spark of anger coursed through her body quick enough to make both her and probably Travis just slightly uncomfortable.

[Travis Morgan]

Travis chewed on his lip, trying to think of something to say to make her feel better. She didn't seem to understand how fantastic her life looked from the outside. He was sure there were a million things in her head that were unique to her experience of the world.

He was suddenly derailed from his thoughts, though, when Eloise mentioned her mother. Travis bristled, and his head snapped up and turned to look at her just as she was apologizing. "Whoa, hey, hey-- what was that?" His brow was furrowed and he looked deeply concerned. "Don't just swallow it, you're gonna give yourself an ulcer or something. What's.. What's goin' on?"

When it came down to it, Travis really cared more about other people than he did about himself. He was quick to worry, and quick to lend an ear to the troubles of others. Even if that meant he was going to experience some uncomfortable feelings. What else was he supposed to do? Ignore the pain he knew was there? Pretend he didn't know? Or care? No. That was just crappy behavior.

[Eloise Eaton]

"Nothing's going on," Eloise insisted - because in her mind it was true. "And I guess that's the root of all my problems." She slipped off her flip flops, and stuck her feet in the water where little minnows scurried away. She flipped her hair behind her head and turned to look at Travis before emptying out the story she had told a million times - each time with no emotional reaction. This time would be no different.

"My parents split up when I was little. That much I know," Eloise explained. "I can only assume it was ugly because every time I ask my dad about my mom, he refuses to give me any information. I'm going to be 18 this month and I think it's pretty crappy that he won't even tell me my mom's name or anything about her. When I was 5 I asked him if my mom had blonde hair like me and he said yes. That's all I know about my mom, really. I just wish I knew why she let me go so easy - off with my dad to god knows where. I'd like to know if she's even alive - really," Eloise said with a tone of indifference. "But my dad is a telepath too," Eloise said - finally continuing, "I try to read him and he can block his own thoughts. So I've never gotten anything out of him."

Part of Eloise wondered how she would be different had she known her mom, or if her parents never split. She wondered if she'd ever get the chance to know. Eloise's curiosity about her mother outweighed any curiosity she had - despite her fathers constant attempts to get her away from the subject and distract her with elegant gifts and exotic vacations.

[Travis Morgan]

Travis' expression continued to look concerned while Ella spoke. She'd had a brief flash of something strong, and then it was just gone. It seemed like she just denied any feelings she didn't want and simply.. Chose not to experience them. But that didn't mean that there weren't troubles. She was just ignoring them.

But what did Travis know anyway? He wasn't a therapist. He didn't know jack about psychology. All he knew was that ignoring things didn't make them go away.

It was just weird, listening to her talk without feeling the corresponding emotions. It was a little unsettling, and he wasn't really sure how to react.

"I'm sorry," he said when she finished, "that sucks." He watched the water for a moment before getting up the nerve to say something else. "But you can't tell me it's nothing. You got angry when you brought it up, and now you're repressing it to the point where you're not feeling anything." He glanced up at Ella. "I'm not saying that I want you to be upset or anything.. I just think ignoring your feelings causes bigger problems down the road." He sucked the corner of his bottom lip between his teeth and looked back at the water. Nervous about how Eloise would react.

[Eloise Eaton]

"What am I supposed to be constantly angry and bitter toward my father?" Eloise asked with a little sass, expressing the absurdity she found in the idea. "He's literally all I have," Eloise added. To Ella, there was no use in wasting her energy being mad or upset with her father, because then she would essentially be left alone. It was very rare that Ella made a friend and she knew no other family. She didn't have a cousin or aunt to give a call when she had a problem, and the few friends she made at Kocher lived pretty far away from her during the bulk of the summer when she would leave. Usually her father would take her on trips around the world anyway.

"Part of me is convinced she's dead and my father is so heartbroken by it he doesn't want me to know. And if that's true why would I be mad at that?" Eloise offered. As a child Ella always hoped her mother was alive somewhere, but as she's gotten older she was convinced this wasn't the case, and her father was protecting her from the awful fate of her mother. "I mean I know they split up but I can't help but think he's protecting me from something. And I can't just lash out and be angry because he cares"

Eloise knew she came off as emotionless. That was because generally she was. She had flashes of emotion and everything else was static. It was the same way her life was. There was flashes of excitement, and everything else was sleeping on 12 hour plane rides and desperately trying to adapt to new sleeping schedules and diets. Travis had a point, that holding in emotions could cause problems, but Ella had made it thus far without a serious meltdown.

[Travis Morgan]

Annoyed. Thats how Travis felt. That's not necessarily how he looked, though. Travis was pretty good at not letting things show, but if Ella was observant she might notice the end of his left shoe jiggling a little as he wiggled his toes. She might notice how perfectly still the rest of his body was. She might notice the concerned expression was gone, replaced with blankness. He just stared at the water while she spoke.

This is why I stopped trying to give my friends advice. Nobody listens to what I say. Did I fucking say I think you should be angry and bitter all the damn time?! No, I didn't! I was trying to say you should address the fucking issue before it blows up in your face! But you know what? That's fine. You just keep giving me excuses for why you can't. What do I know about people? I just sit around all day knowing how everyone feels about everything!

Travis was unaware that Ella had stopped reading him, but he would probably be relieved to find that out. In this moment he couldn't control the rant going on in his head, and frankly he'd momentarily forgotten she was a telepath.

"Look," he said, managing to keep his voice steady and calm, "you don't have to lash out to be angry. And you don't have to be bitter and upset all the time. But you can't just swallow your feelings every time they come up. I'm saying you should actually deal with your shit instead of repressing it. You have the right to feel things. I'm not saying go confront your father. Clearly that hasn't worked before, and won't work now-- but if you think he's all you have, then you haven't been paying attention--" Travis stopped and bit his lip. His frustration was starting to bleed into his words, and he really didn't want Ella to think he was mad at her.

"My point," he started again, "is that you have me. You can rant and scream and complain at me all you want.. And I'll actually understand how you feel. I just want you to be happy. I don't want you to repress everything so far that you can't feel good anymore."

[Eloise Eaton]

Eloise chuckled as Travis ranted. She knew part of what he was saying was true, but he also had only known her for an hour at best. "You're sweet," she told him with a smile. "I'm just... not the type to rant and scream unless it's really necessary. If you decide you really want to be friends - which is a rarity - then you'll hear plenty of it when the time is right," Eloise promised with a little smile.

Travis was different than most of the people she had known, though. Eloise knew this already. Perhaps they would actually stay friends. "Don't let it bother you," Eloise said, being able to tell that her demeanor was a bit unsettling to Travis. He didn't show it, but Ella could pick it up in his tone. She was sure if she decided to read him then her suspicion would be confirmed. "If it was that big of a deal, I wouldn't have made it this far. Right?" She smiled and stood up, feet in the water, and grabbed her flipflops before walking in the direction of the flow of the water.

[Travis Morgan]

Travis bowed his head and ruffled his hair with a sigh. He was being too intense again. Dammit. At least she thought it was funny. Clearly, it was time to leave well enough alone. She was telling him not to let it bother him. He wouldn't stop worrying about her, but he could stop pestering her.

Message received.

He untied his shoes and slipped them off when Ella started walking downstream. He rolled up his pant legs above his knees and stepped into the water. Travis caught up with Eloise easily. There was a creek near his home in Pennsylvania, and he used to play in it all the time as a child. Not slipping on wet, algae covered rocks was a skill best learned quickly, unless you enjoyed falling a lot. The presence of water didn't always mean a soft landing.

Travis decided to be quiet for a while. He couldn't think of anything to say, and he was trying to let his own feelings dissipate. Meditate on nature. It was much easier to let go of stress when his feet were bare in the water and he was surrounded by trees. He just watched the stream ahead of him, wondering where it was taking them.

[Eloise Eaton]

"It's not you," Ella promised, "It's me." She smiled at herself and her own joke as she continued down stream. She looked back over her shoulder once as to make sure he was there. She wouldn't want him to get lost in the woods alone.

They were silent for a really long while. It was awkward at first, but then it almost became normal. Like if either one of them said anything the world would just fall apart. So they just kept walking. Eventually though, the stream started getting deeper, and so Ella climbed back up to walk around the bank. "Wanna go swimming?" she asked with a smile, knowing that a lake couldn't be too far. Before Travis could answer her hypothesis proved correct when she became able to see a still body of water peeking through some of the trees. "I mean we're in Vermont. It's not going to stay hot much longer."

[Travis Morgan]

It was nice that Eloise didn't try to talk to him. He enjoyed silence, and sometimes he just needed to sort through things without distractions.

Travis followed Ella onto the bank when the water deepened. Dirt and fallen leaves stuck to his wet feet, and he smiled quietly at the sensation of grass between his toes. He head turned suddenly when Eloise suggested swimming. He'd been a million miles away in his own head, and it took him a moment to understand what she was saying.

"Oh, um.." He looked out at the water. The stream widened into a lake ahead of them, and the thought of diving into it was certainly appealing. Then again.. swimming usually involved removing one's clothing. Not that he was going commando or anything. Not at all. It was just that he was shy, and that awkward period of time between when he took of his shirt and when he jumped into the water seemed really uncomfortable.

Travis was a complicated kid. He wasn't self-conscious because he felt unattractive. On the contrary, he was well aware that he looked good (even if he denied it when Michael told him so). He was just uncomfortable with being found attractive by other people. And, yes, he knew that was strange, and, no, he didn't know why it made him uncomfortable. It just did.

But that was really childish, right? It shouldn't matter so much. He shouldn't care so much. "Sure," he said, trying very hard not to sound awkward. He'd noticed that behaving awkwardly only made things more awkward. It was one of those self-perpetuating things. Feel awkward. Act awkward. Make something that isn't inherently awkward, awkward. God, that word sounds weird now. Knock it off Tray, you're making it worse.

[Eloise Eaton]

"You don't have to," Eloise said with a small laugh and a smile as Travis awkwardly said yes. "But I think it's hot and swim would be nice before going back to Hammel and dealing with the quarter of the girls in the dorms who are PMSing." Eloise shrugged before turning and walking toward the lake. She tossed her bag and shoes on the ground by a tree and stripped off her shirt to hang it up over a tree branch.

She mindlessly went to undo her bra before thinking better of it. She had momentarily forgotten that skinny dipping was much more widely accepted as a casual activity in Europe than in America. She re-clasped her bra before turning back to Travis and smiling an embarrassed smile. "Uh... sorry... I spent a lot of time in France before here so... just... let's keep that in mind." It was hard to embarrass Ella, but she was very good at embarrassing herself. She slipped off her shorts, and hung them with her shirt before walking toward the lake.

"Are you coming?" she called back to Travis before she went to jump in.

[Travis Morgan]

Travis was trying really hard not to watch her undress. Trying and failing. His eyes darted to the ground, but they kept popping back up. Eloise was beautiful. She made his breathing slow and shallow. He could hear the blood rushing in his ears, and suddenly he was very aware of the heat.

He stopped breathing all together when she unhooked her bra. His eyes popped, and he tried to look away. Travis bowed his head, but his eyes stayed right where they were. Dammit! Why are you so bad at this!?

Eloise stated that she'd spent a lot of time in France, and Travis nodded. He wondered if he looked a bit slow right now. Vacant expression. Deer in the headlights eyes. Inability to speak, apparently. Great.

Then she asked if he was coming or not, and Travis found himself following her lead without much thought. Or any thought, for that matter. His knee-jerk reaction was to do what he was told. In this case, whatever he thought the other person wanted him to do. Was he coming? Of course he was coming. What else was he going to do? Sit on the shore like a dweeb when he could be swimming with a pretty, half-naked girl? Right.

Travis pulled his t-shirt off over his head and slung it over the same branch that Ella put her cloths on. It was followed shortly by his jeans, and soon he was trotting after Eloise in nothing but his boxers. Wow. Okay. I guess I'm doing this.

He could feel himself standing up straighter than usual, and behaving in an intentionally casual manner. He was panicking on the inside, but he knew what "cool" looked like, and he was pretty good at pretending to be that. Not that it was really a choice, though. It just seemed to happen sometimes when he felt exposed.

[Eloise Eaton]

Eloise smiled when Travis finally snapped back to reality. She would usually be bothered by guys gawking, but from just moments of reading him she knew he wasn't trying to make anything uncomfortable. It still made Ella feel a little weird when guys made a big deal about underwear. "You act like you've never seen a girl in a bikini before," Eloise joked. It was underwear, sure, but essentially they were the same. When Travis finally started trotting down toward the lake in nothing but his boxers, Ella took the first few steps in. The water as cool, but not so cold that it numbed you.

She waded to where the water was up toward her chest before dunking herself underwater to soak her head and hair. She had to ungracefully push it out of her face when she surfaced, but she could almost feel her body temperature dropping. "You try too hard sometimes, you know?" Eloise finally said to Travis, now that she was cooling down. "It's really hard to pretend to be cool around me when you're internally freaking out. All it takes is a moment in your mind to know that it's a front. And that you're strangely insecure when you clearly have no reason to be." She wrung out her hair, smiling to Travis to show she was being genuine. "I can still pretend you're playing it off super cool and collected if you want," Eloise joked with a little smirk. She hoped she wasn't making him freak out more. Travis had yet to really experience Eloise's sense of humor. For some reason the two of them dove right into heartfelt conversations about their problems and their past. It was odd.