Broken (Parker)

[Jacelynn Heron]

Why did she constantly torture herself? Was it for fun or a force of habit? Either way she ended up at the lake when all hell broke loose in her mind because it was a relaxing place to be if you went late enough in the day after everyone left. That was the only time Jacelynn could even tolerate it lately because the incessant chatter around her had been slowly getting to her more and more because of how on edge she'd been. Everything was going to shit around her and she couldn't very well do anything about it. There was no fixing what happened, no taking it back. She just kept damaging herself more and more when she repeated history. One would think she'd have learned by now.

Starting fresh was the goal, her plan of action, but she couldn't quite get back into the swing of things. Whether it be the smooth flirting or teasing chase, she just couldn't get it back. Clearly she had done it again. Alessandro had been in the picture too long, commitment came into things and she ran for the hills leaving him behind. And yet she manages to get sucked in by guys that care so little for her and drive her nuts as they toy with her. Why couldn't she pick the good guys? Whenever they got close to her she should have embraced it, not pushed it away. But it happened with Les and it had happened before.

Jace didn't want to get into that story though.

She pulled her knees up close to her chest, sitting under a tree a few feet up from the shoreline. Makeup had taken a backseat along with her typical high fashion look. Jacelynn had settled on a t-shirt and jeans with her hair up and the natural look going for her. It wasn't like she cared anymore anyway. If people had a problem with it they could stop looking in her direction. She had no one to impress after all. Her iPod was plugged in, repeating through a playlist that was none too peppy. She wasn't feeling her usual upbeat party music. The acoustic sound playing in her ears was plenty good enough for her mood at the moment.

As a song by Evanescence came on, she closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the trunk of the tree. It was for the best that she hadn't worn makeup because she knew tears were bound to come sooner or later. They still hadn't made their appearance yet though, so she sort of hoped they would put off a little longer so she could enjoy the moment.

[Parker Matthews]

The lake was a nice place to clear your head, get some fresh air or just chill. Sure, it held a few memories he didn't want to think of, but it had been two years, so by now he should be able to handle them. Besides, they had both moved on from that part, and he was back in the game, and wasn't exactly planning on getting out of it anytime soon. Casual dating suited him perfectly. No feelings, no drama and no broken hearts. Just the way he liked and wanted it. After everything that had happened two years ago, he wasn't about to fall heads over heels again sometimes soon. That much was for sure.

He had just dropped off one of his dates and decided to take a stroll along the shores around the lake. It was nice being alone too, after everything, he was still a loner at heart, even if he usually had someone to keep him company both at night and during the day. He could go anywhere, do anything, and it was perfect that way. Sure, there had been a time when he would have thrown all that away for a girl, but he went by the old classic 'Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.' And that was the short version of how he became a real life player. He only picked the girls who played by the same rules, and once things got to serious, he broke it off. Simple as that.

The stone left the palm of his hand and skipped over the surface of a water and his hands slid down his pockets. And as he turned around, a sight he never thought he'd sew hit him like thunder. Jacelynns sat curled up against a tree, looking anything but happy. He took a few wary steps against her, a worried look growing on his face. ''Jace?'', he asked before realizing she had her earplugs plugged in. He walked closer, hoping she would notice him before he scared the shit out of her. Now that couldn't end up being pleasant for either of them.

[Jacelynn Heron]

The song was soft enough that she could still hear exceptionally well. The beauty of an ability that never really shuts off, even if it did give her more headaches than she'd like. Oh well, that was the price paid when you were a meta and you learned to live with it. She'd gotten so used to having a constant headache that it was more odd when she didn't have one. It was sort of interesting how she could still remember what it was like when she heard like a normal human being. It was sort of like how she heard things when she had music in her ears. Interesting concept.

Anyway, Jace's eyes slowly opened when she heard footsteps and her name. Part of her didn't even want to know who it was. She was enjoying her time alone because despite the horrible feelings she got from the memories, she couldn't help but revel in them. Not all of them had been bad until things got ruined. She still sometimes wondered who was at fault for all of the times that things went wrong for her. A few of them she'd openly admit to it being her fault, but even she couldn't take the blame for every case.

But in the case of the boy standing in front of her, well, she pleaded guilty. Her eyes took him all in as he stood there and she pulled out her headphones. Jacelynn wasn't sure how she was supposed to react. Typically she probably would have greeted him with a smile and hello, but this was not a typical mood for her to be in publicly, so her mood was as much a shock to her as it probably was to him. She pushed herself off the ground and wrapped her arms around his waist, and the tears began forming in her eyes, "Parker..." She squeezed her eyes shut to stop the tears and swallowed the tightness in her throat. Jace just couldn't get through it to say anything else.

[Parker Matthews]

Parker couldn't quite place the feeling the look in her eyes gave him as she opened her eyes to look at him. She pulled her headphones out and he was about to greet her again, but then she walked over, wrapped her arms around his waist and started crying. He instinctively wrapped his own arms around her shoulders and pulled her tight. ''W-what's wrong?'', he stuttered and rested his head on top of hers. It killed him, seeing her like this. Hell, seeing her at all almost killed him, but as long as she was happy, he could live with it. But seeing her like this? It hurt. It was downright painful. But that didn't change the fact that he was also confused. The usual carefree Jacelynn he was used to now stood in his arms crying her heart out.

A million thoughts ran through his head. If anyone had purposly hurt her, he'd gladly kill them for her. There was nothing he wouldn't do for her. He had even kept his feelings for her to himself for two years, so she didn't have more to worry about. He was determined to keep her oblivious to the fact that he loved her. At first it had been really though pretending to be just a friend to her, but as the years had passed it had become more of a habit than something he had to work hard doing. It killed him, but it was worth it. As long as she was happy with her decision, it would always be worth it.

[Jacelynn Heron]

Jacelynn didn't know what she was doing. She wasn't a crier, she wasn't emotional like this but lately all she could do was burst into tears when something went wrong. She couldn't even figure out why she started crying when she saw him. Or maybe she did. The guilt of what she put him through was enough to drive her crazy and she had hated herself for pushing him away so abruptly when it all happened. Here he'd always been such a great guy, the type that knew how to treat a girl that he wanted to be with. What did she do though? She ruined him, there was no doubt that he was not the same as he had been when they were together. And there was nothing wrong with that. What killed her was that after putting him through that she'd pushed him out so hard that they had only briefly seen each other at her last year attending Hammel and this past year she hadn't seen him at all.

She was using that to justify the reason of why she was not only clinging to him, but crying as well. It was because she hadn't seen him in over a year and she missed him so much that it caught her off guard. Jacelynn only had a handful of what one would call friends and even then, there were very few of them. Seeing him was like making a friend all over again and she couldn't contain her enthusiasm. Her face was pressed against his chest and she kept her arms right around him.

When Parker asked her what was wrong, she didn't quite want to answer it with the original answer that would ruin everything. Jace buried her face into his shirt more and shook her head. No, she didn't feel like telling him all of what was happening with her. At least not yet and if anything it would be the less dramatic party of the story. She gulped again and this time pulled back, wrapping her arms around her torso. Jacelynn gulped and tightened her arms around her chest. "N-nothing's wrong.I-I just missed you so much," She said softly.

[Parker Matthews]

One would think that after a year of not seeing her, he would have gotten over her. But nope, here he was and all these old feelings came welling up. He didn't blame her for the way things had ended, hell, how could he? He knew what he was getting into, yet he fell head over heels. Not that he hadn't seen it coming, because who wouldn't have fell for her? She was such an amazing person, both personality and appearance wise. If he had known she felt guilty about it all, he would have told her she had nothing to worry about. Things happened for a reason, and even if it was painful, it was his own fault. This was the reason he was so determined to play by the rules now, he didn't want to fall again and go through another two years of a broken heart.

As she pulled away, he cupped her face in his hand and gave her a friendly smile. ''I missed you too.'' There was a million other things he wanted to tell her, but he bit his tongue. I love you. I love you. I love you. But that didn't matter. There was a reason things had ended between them and he had learned to live with it. Sure, it still hurt like hell, but he could live with it. At least he still had her as a friend, and that was more than enough for him. He would always be there, looking out for her and helping her whenever she needed him. I love you. I love you. I love you, even when I hate you. He let the back of his hand run down her cheek, trying to wipe her tears away. He put his other hand around her shoulder and gave her a friendly bump to the side. What was he supposed to say? What was he supposed to do? It was easier talking to her on the phone, at least then he couldn't see her, smell her or touch her.

''So, tell me little miss Sunshine. How's college working out for you?'' Yep, play it cool. Cooooool. Man, she smelled so nice.

[Jacelynn Heron]

He cupped her face and she had to admit that she felt incredibly stupid. Someone as nice as him should never have been involved with her. Maybe then he wouldn’t feel the need to date a bunch of girls just like her that couldn’t handle commitment. If she knew how much she screwed him up over what happened between them, she probably never would have wanted to stay his friend. She’d have removed herself from his life purposefully so that he could forget about her even if she would listen for things about him. Parker didn’t deserve what she put him through, no one did really, but when she got scared she pushed people away before things could get too deep. Deep enough for her to fall any more into them. If she’d stayed with Park, who knows what things would be like now. She’d never have met Carter or Alessandro. Part of her thought it would have been for the best so that she couldn’t have hurt Les and she wouldn’t have been played by Carter. But at the same time, she didn’t know if it would have lasted between them even if she had stayed.

Jace’s eyes fluttered shut when he brushed her tears away and she smiled half-heartedly at his silly way of cheering her up. He’d always been good at it before. Whenever her mother tore her self-esteem down more than it already was, he’d been there to build it up again. Whenever she was disappointed in her father for doing nothing, he’d been there to talk her down. So answer me this, why hadn’t she stayed with him? On paper he looked perfect, they meshed so well together, but in the end…she just hadn’t felt the same about him and that was what made things worse. She didn’t know why she didn’t, but she didn’t want to keep stringing him along and hurting him worse in the end. So she cut things short and they still both got hurt. Jace never told him how hard it had been to end things, but even she had been crushed by her own words.

“College is fine I guess, just taking art classes and all…. How’s Hammel life? Still as horrible as ever?” Yeah she had never really fit in there. People never seemed to appreciate her pranking ways in the dorms.