{Diary}Can't save {of}the damned {Kiyomi Yamanda}

[Kiyomi Yamanda]

Being clean wasn't something Kiyomi enjoyed.
It meant she'd have to pick up everything.
And whenever she does that, she loses the most important things.
Like her diary, she just found that.
And her letters to Sammy and from Baa-chan.
Her diary was just a three ring binder with grafitti on it.
The pages all scattered around on her bed.
She she picked up a paper and started to write in dim light.

[Kiyomi Yamanda]

Dear Sammy,

I made it the Hammel in one piece. I know you don't care though.
You don't care because I'm not normal. Well, your type of normal.
But do you really know what normal is, Sammy-wa?
You probably don't.
Sammy, I am normal, as normal as I can get.
You're normal is cheerleaders and football players. Along with poor grades.
My normal is here at Hammel.
These people are real, as real as you and me.
Sammy, I'm not sure if you'll even read this once you see my name.
But that's alright because I'm moving on.
You always told me I needed friends, ones that understood me.
And I'll make new friends, I know I will.
You'll see Sammy, you'll see.
And even if you don't read this, it's okay with me.
I just needed you to know I wouldn't forget you.
Oh...
Now I'm crying.
This pain in my chest is very unbarable.
It's like someones taken a carving knife, cutting me open and
squeezing my heart to the breaking point.
Was I your disease?
Am I the one who held you back?
Oh, Kami, Sammy!
I loved you but you pushed me away!
Blamed me for your fool issues.
Damnit Sammy, I loved you!
Why would you do this to me?!
I saved you from the darkness your parents divorce was driving you into.
I loved you but it doesn't matter anymore.
And I know this pain won't go away anytime soon.
And I know I can pretend to forget you but your name and scent
still linger in my head.
But I can't deal with it anymore.
So Sammy, this is good-bye.
I love you, or, well, loved you.
Sincerly,
Kiyomi Yamanda