Letters to Peter: Alice's Journal

[Alice Perette-Johnston]

In Alice's room, under her bed, is a large file folder full of paper. Some are older than others, some are stained and crumpled, others are pristine and untouched. These represent the letters sent to and from her pen-pal in New Mexico: Peter.

Many of Alice's letters to Peter are unfinished, or interrupted by nonsensical scribbles, but they all eventually get sent.

[Alice Perette-Johnston]

Peter---

Today was special. Everyday is special! But today was REALLY special. Today I arrived at Hammel Institute. Hammel is special, for “special” people like me (The word of the day today is special. The word tastes pink on my tongue, so I like it, but it doesn’t taste as good when I write it. Perhaps we should pick a new word of the day today? I like the word rigoletto but that is an italtian music term so it might not be a real word.)!! I put special in quotation marks because I’m not sure the people here think special means what special means. They have to think before they say it, like maybe they are trying to think of another word. I think they sometimes forget the word they are thinking of, and decide to say special instead because everyone knows what special means.

I think.

Today I saw more green grass than I’d ever seen in NM. NM has a big big ocean, but no grass really. Just ocean. The green was very blue. Like the color of winter just as its fading into spring. Mostly green, but kind of blue,too. Someday I will paint my fingernails that green-blue-green color, then I can show you and you will understand better.

Vermont is nice. It’s a bit cold. I don’t like to wear shoes, but sometimes my feet turn funny colors if I go out without them, so I bought thick socks to compromise. My favorite socks are the lime green ones with a little happy face on the bottom. I think they make the ground happy.

I can’t write much longer, my pencil keeps getting smaller in my hand, so the letters are hard to make. I hope you still like New Mexico, Peter. I can’t ever remember the name of your horse, but I hope he likes the ocean. Say hello to the ocean for me!

I have to go now. There is an elephant in my room. I can’t let it stay, I don’t think. Hammel has rules.

Have special-ness today! Since it’s the word of the day and stuff!
XoXo
Alice

[Alice Perette-Johnston]

Peter---
I’m starting to think there is something wrong with me. Today was scary. I woke up today. I can’t ever remember waking up. I definitely don’t remember going to sleep, but in order to wake up, you have to go to sleep right? I woke up in the clinic, with other kids surrounding me. There was a little girl, younger than me, she was crying. She cried so loud, but I could hardly hear. I felt so strange. Everything was quieter. Everything was dim. I couldn’t even see the colors like they usually are. The ladies dress looked black but it didn’t sound black or feel black like black usually does, like holding a bug scoop of the sky when its really late in winter. It just looked black. I think my mind is broken.

The doctors told me I had fallen asleep. They told me my dreams ran around in the school, and that they were glad to have me back. I think this is why I had to come here to Hammel. There were lots of doctors there. The little girl that was crying fell down the stairs because she said they turned squiggly like a worm in the grass. All the doctors were with the other students, but one stayed with me.

She asked me if I remembered anything. I didn’t remember. I’m so scared. Did I hurt someone? The doctor-lady said it would be okay. She says I’m special, but that sometimes I can’t control my brain. I was right. My brain is broken.

I’m broken, Peter! I never want to wake up again.
-Alice