love A D D I C T :: Jaz

[Jezebel Tonino]

Dear Diary,

What can I say? I guess i can give you what I really want to put down... My relationship with Daymon. Sure I guess, he was my first boyfriend and it was exciting. I knew him from before, he was a model like me. Damn he was hot. I can’t even begin to describe it. I guess I’ll have to, considering you don’t know anything about him. He’s a tall 6’3 and has a very slender build. Don’t mistake his slenderness for weakness, because he was anything but. I used to think it was sweet that whenever we went to a club and a guy was bothering me he’d pull them off of me. I didn’t know he was beating the crap out of them after. His hair was blonde, then it was black, then it was both. He kept it long and spiked up on his head. He reminded me of Brian Monte Money from Escape the Fate. His ears were double pierced, he had a septum piercing, snake bites and spacers. His piercings were fun to play with, when he let me. If I did it when he didn’t want me to, he’d make sure I knew. His eyes were a piercing blue, but he wore black contact lenses. He was warm and when he held me, I felt on top of the world.

I don’t remember when things went south, but I did remember hearing rumours from people.
“Did you hear? Jaz gave Daymon a BJ in his dressing room.”
“I hear they have sex every day, Jaz wants to.”
“Did you know they had a threesome? Two guys and one girl!”

Yeah, he said stuff like that to people. I confronted him about it and he denied it. We were on shaky grounds but I believed him. The rumours were getting worse and worse... Eventually i over heard him say something to another model. Something so disturbing I don’t even want to write it down. I can’t write it down. Another confrontation lead to him calling me names like slut, b*tch, whore, worthless... and more. It ended with me dumping him, or as he says him “Not taking my bullshit anymore”. He continued to torment me though... until Derek found out and out a stop to it. But then He begged for me back, I wanted to say yes, I almost did say yes. I said no. That lead to a night of heavy drinking. I saw a video of me giving a guy a lap dance, a video of me making out with some guy and a video of me and another girl making out... I couldn’t remember any of it.

That’s around the same time my mom decided to stop taking me out of school for modelling jobs. I actually got to stay at school and learn! I had never been so happy before in my entire life! No more Daymen, no more rumours, no more Drama! So far it’s been great... I don’t want anything to screw this up.

XOXO

Jaz