Emma Jane's Diary

[Emma Hayes]

Today I was a chrysalis. No, really I was, thanks to these abilities.

I woke this morning shrouded in a glimmering crystal shell, a tangible form of last night's dream. I'm changing. I can feel it in every fiber of my being, down to the depths of my soul. That's why I'm here. That's why I was sent to this school.

I've been a caterpillar all my life. Harding working to provide for myself. Focused on the tasks at hand. Crawling on the ground, watching the lucky creatures fly across the horizon.

Stuck. Lowly. Unnoticeable.

I'm fine with that.

And now I'm changing. Growing into something I never asked to be. I like the old me. I like knowing who I am. I don't want to be different. I want a normal life, a normal family. I don't want to be special.

The horizon's far off, but even a caterpillar can make it someday. I know it to be true. It has to be.

But I've changed.

[Emma Hayes]

I've been at this institution for over a a week now. Dad calls every few nights, telling me about the shop boys. Randy's getting married! Finally got up the guts to propose to Marlene. And Lester's wife had the baby. A boy. They named him Collin.

I miss them. They were more family to me then my real one was, except Dad. They took care of me. Let me stay with them when things got bad. Lester would help me with my math homework. Abigail would make dinner back when I couldn't. Jeff taught me how to fix engines. I don't like being away from them. And I hate lying to them.

Dad's told everyone in town that I'm at a boarding school because of the divorce. That I needed to be away from the stress. Everyone believes him. I don't want to advertise what I am, but I kind of wish that I could tell these people. They're family, they wouldn't turn me away. I mean Jeff's got a distant cousin who's a meta. He talks about it from time to time. He doesn't act disgusted.

But I don't want to go home just yet. Not until I can control this. And really, I want to wait out the divorce here. I don't want to see her with that man.

[Emma Hayes]

They finalized the divorce today. Dad called to tell me this morning.

It was strange. He didn't sound sad or angry, just sort of resigned. I think he's known this was coming for a long time now. I think he knew we would never really be a family again. She was always going to leave us. She was always going to push us away.

We were both just playing make believe. Pretending that tomorrow would be better; that this could be fixed. But not everything that breaks can be put back together. We both know this. But we kept ignoring the signs and kept acting like everything was going to be o.k.

Deep down I know this is killing him. Despite what she's done, I know Dad loves her. But he won't talk to me about it.

It makes me feel worse that I'm relieved that this is finally over.

[Emma Hayes]

She called me. She's getting remarried in only three months.

Three months!

They just got divorced, and she's already marrying that man. I can only imagine the gossip in town. I can't even image how Dad is feeling right now.

I can't believe she called me. I can't believe that she's actually talking to me now. After so many years of distance, so many years of me trying to reach her, today she calls. I'm invited to the wedding.

I don't want to see her. I don't to see her with him. I don't want to face this yet.

[Emma Hayes]

I can't believe what I'm about to do.

I'm going through with it and being a part of the wedding. A bridesmaid. I was supposed to go in for a fitting last month but she caught a cold. It's been pushed back till I get off on Christmas break.

Dad thinks this is a good time to reconnect with her. I think he's right. Maybe this was her way of reaching out. I won't expect everything to be perfect but maybe things can be good again.

Dad also thinks I should tell her. About my powers and about Hammel. I'm kind of scared too. I'm worried that it will be too much strain on our relationship. But Dad's firm on this, and if I don't, I think he will.

It's eating me up, like some parasite. I'm so afraid of what's about to happen. It feels like the breaking point. Like either things will work out or I'm going to loose her forever.