New World, New Start [open]

[Tori Peterson]

Tori looked down at the crumpled-up map in her hand, searching in vain for the main office building. She had arrived on campus only hours previously, and had been searching for this building for about 30 minutes. The Hammel representative had told her to find the main office and tell them she was new, and they would take care of the rest. He apparently couldn't take her there because he had business to attend to. Her current dilemma: find the main office building in the first place.

It was a gorgeous summer day. Everything was a soft shade of green, and the buildings were rustic and gorgeous. What she noticed more than anything else, however, was the birds. There were so many of them here, all chirping little conversations to each other, a microcosm in itself.

"My territory! My territory!"
"My chicks! My hatchlings! I have food for you!"
"Falcon! Falcon! Fly away!"

Though she was tempted to talk back, she contented herself with just listening for the moment.

One of the first things she had done upon arrival was go in the bathroom (a unisex one that was mercifully easy to locate) and tear the binding off of her wings, which she had used to hide them and pass as non-meta. There were now rudimentary holes in her shirt for her wings - not the most glamorous of looks, but it did the job. For the first time, she was showing her wings out in public. Tori felt naked and extremely self-conscious at the same time as she felt brazen and liberated. She could actually feel sensation on them - the wind gently stirred her feathers, the sun shone on them and warmed them.

She took a glance at the sky, briefly entertaining the notion of taking off. Them the image of her falling headfirst on the ground came to mind and she dismissed the idea. I'll wait until I've had training.

Though she was still wearing jeans and a t-shirt, she had let her hair down, so she wasn't sure what gender she would be read as. She wanted, more than anything, to be seen as the girl she was, but she just didn't know yet if Hammel was a safe place to do so. She had compromised with what she thought was an androgynous look: long hair, tight jeans, and a unisex t-shirt. Her uncertainty made her feel extremely self-conscious, and she glanced up every so often to check for others' reactions to her appearance. Nothing threatening so far, which was promising.

Tori looked up to see a building with the sign MAIN OFFICE posted above its door. She sighed with relief, but then anxiety knotted in her chest. Surely she would have to fill out some forms, fill in slots that asked for name and gender...

She pushed the door open and hesitated for a moment, then walked to the front desk. "Um, hi," she started. "I'm, uh, new here?"

[Alexander Cross]

Today, would be another slow day for Alexander as he made his way to the front office of Hammel. Although his morning lecture had been cancelled, due to an unforeseen meeting, there was still so much left to do before he could begin with his afternoon study sessions as a tutor. He would slowly push open the wooden door as he smiled softly to assistant that sat gracefully behind the front desk. He would be greeted with a soft smile and a wave as the woman spoke softly. "You're here quite early Mr. Cross.... Short day?" Her question would draw a soft smirk from Alexander as he would shake his head no and reply, "I just couldn't stand to be outside of your presence any longer Miss Keera." The two would share a small laugh over the inside joke, that had been started oh so many years ago.

As the chuckles slowly faded away Miss Keera would hand Alexander his sign in paper work and give the keys to one of the classrooms so he could set up from his normal lunch time study session. Although many students didn't participate in the sessions, it always gave Alexander the extra time he needed to go over the current lessons of the day, so he could be prepared. Alexander would soon sign the last sheet as he would place the pen on the counter and be given a name tag that read, Alexander Cross Student Tutor. Miss Keera would slight smile softly as she spoke once more, "One of these days, it would be nice to see you around here as a teacher." Alexander allowed a soft coy smirk to appear across his face as he replied, "Why so you can take advantage of me?"

Again the two would break into a soft laughter that caused by an inside joke. As the final chuckles came to an end Alexander would collect his key and make his way to the office, only to be cut off by a young lady entering. Alexander would step a side as she allowed a few words to pass over her lips. "Umm, Hi.... I'm, uh, new here?" Alexander would softly bow as he spoke in calm tone and said, "Welcome to Hammel, my name is Alexander Cross, and you seem to be a little lost. Is there any way we can assist you?" A soft smile of grace and warmth appeared across Alexander's lips as he took the woman's hand and lead her over to the counter. "This here is Miss Keera. She can help you with any questions you may have."

[Tori Peterson]

"Welcome to Hammel, my name is Alexander Cross, and you seem to be a little lost. Is there any way we can assist you?" A slightly tall man with a very warm smile greeted her as she walked through the door. His warmth and politeness eased her nervousness slightly, and she blinked in surprise as he took her hand and led her to the counter. It was a subtly gendered action, but gendered nonetheless, and hope bloomed in her chest. He seemed quite the gentleman, and so far it seemed she really was seen as the lady. "This here is Miss Keera. She can help you with any questions you may have."

Tori popped her head over the counter and looked at the woman at the desk, Miss Keera. She, too, had quite the warm smile, and Tori couldn't help but smile slightly back. Questions, she thought. Uhh, what now? She wasn't quite sure what to ask, since the representative had just told her to go here and let them take care of the rest. "I just got here," she began, slightly self-conscious. "I was told to come here. Is there, uh, any paperwork or something I need to fill out?"

She hated paperwork, but it was the first thing that came to mind. Greeted well or not, she was still confused and lost and didn't know what was supposed to come next. She glanced around, slightly nervous still, and waited for the woman's response.

[Alexander Cross]

Alexander would watch as the young lady would return the smile that she had been given. It would seem that she had a very nice one of her own. Alexander softly patted her on the hand as he allowed the words, "No worries we will help you." To slide out of his mouth. Miss Keera would hand Alexander a packet out of the top of the desk, along with a pen. The phone would soon ring and Miss Keera would softly whisper, "Please help her fill out the forms.", with that being said she slowly picked up the phone and answered it with the most pleasant voice Alexander had ever heard her use. It was as if she was smiling through the phone.

"Follow me." Alexander would say as he allowed his hand to push open the door to the small room of the side of the office. He'd wait for her to follow him through the door before allowing it to close behind him. He take a seat as a small table that was large enough to seat two as he'd place the packet on the table. "By the way my name is Alexander Cross, but most of the people call me Alex, except for the teachers. They call me Mr. Cross." Alexander would chuckle lightly as he thought about why they did that. "For the most part, you'll on see me around here in the evening. I tutor students in the subject of Math. By the way what's your name?"

[Tori Peterson]

"No worries we will help you." The man - Alexander Cross, she reminded herself, determined to remember the name of the first teacher she met at Hammel - reassured her as he gently patted her hand. Tori smiled, though her smile faltered slightly when the desk assistant - Miss Keera - whispered something to him that she couldn't catch. Sure, she was used to having things whispered behind her back, but it never felt good, especially when this was the first time presenting as herself to the world. Tori glanced over herself, suddenly feeling self-conscious. Was it something in the way she was dressed?

She took a moment to calm herself. Why assume bad faith? It was probably something personal between them, and certainly the Hammel staff didn't want their personal business constantly shared with students. It didn't make sense to assume it was something bad about her, but in that moment she felt like the smallest thing could set her off and make her feel unsafe. Get it together, Tori. You're fine, it's not about you.

"Follow me," Alexander said as he led her into a small side room with a table big enough for two. He sat down at the far chair while Tori pulled out the near one, trying to tamp down her remaining self-consciousness as she sat down gingerly and crossed her legs. "By the way my name is Alexander Cross, but most of the people call me Alex, except for the teachers. They call me Mr. Cross." He chuckled as Tori puzzled over the odd reverse of the usual formality. "For the most part, you'll on see me around here in the evening. I tutor students in the subject of Math." Ugh, math, really? Well, if math was his subject, she suspected she would see him around a bit more often. Unless she found a student at Hammel that needed her help with math as much as her Aaron (her friend back in Washington) had, she would probably need quite a bit of help with the subject.

"By the way what's your name?" Tori faltered, anxiety mounting in her heart. Well, first of all, what gender do you think I am? And do you want my legal name or my actual name? If I give you my real name and you later see my legal name, will you think less of me or hate me? It was her first time running into this conundrum in her day-to-day life rather than just reading about it online, and it left her momentarily paralyzed. Did she start displaying herself in earnest to the world and escape the acid sensation produced by constant misgendering, or remain in the stifling but relatively safe closet she had hidden in so far?

Four more years. If she gave her legal name, if she maintained the male facade, she would have to deal with this for four more years of her life. This was a chance at a fresh start. This was exactly the kind of opportunity she had been hoping for. If she waited, it would just get harder and harder as her body continued to betray her.

"Tori," she said, just loud enough for Alex to hear her. It was the first time she had let the word leave her mouth in earnest, rather than just whispering it to herself alone. This was who she was, and for the first time in her life she was showing it to someone else. "Tori Peterson." Her name came out slightly louder that time, with more conviction. She shifted slightly in her seat, hoping fervently that everything would go smoothly from here.

[Alexander Cross]

Alexander would allow a soft smile to slide across his face as he would allow his head to bow lightly. "That is a beautiful name you have their, and I must say it seems to fit you perfectly." Alexander would place a pen on top of the folder as the soft smile would fade quickly back into a simple grin. "Well I guess we should get started on your paper work, if we're lucky it should only take a few minutes and you'll have a class schedule by the end of lunch. Miss Keera will take care of that." Alexander would slowly pull out the first few set of forms which were a simple read the next set of form were about her living conditions if she wanted to be placed in dorms rooms and describe the following for students in particular age groups and grade levels.

Alexander would slowly get up to pour himself some coffee."Would you like anything to drink? Tea, water, juice?" Although Alexander loved tea, even he had a limit on what he could do without a little caffeine in his system. He watched as the powdered creamer floated at the top of his cup and was than caved in by the grains of sugar that were to follow. With a few stirs of a small stirring straw, the dark roasted coffee with become a creamy brown color, that was sweetened to perfection.

[Tori Peterson]

"That is a beautiful name you have their, and I must say it seems to fit you perfectly." Alexander said this with a smile, and Tori practically swooned with delight. He thinks my name is beautiful, and that it fits me perfectly? That was certainly different from the reception she got from most places. She beamed at him, hiding her face slightly in her red hair as she looked down.

"Well I guess we should get started on your paper work, if we're lucky it should only take a few minutes and you'll have a class schedule by the end of lunch. Miss Keera will take care of that." Tori barely heard his last sentence as her stomach flipped over. Of course, here it was. It was inevitable that they would have to do some paperwork, and that her legal name - her false name - would have to come out at some point. Of course any files he pulled up on her would read Jason Peterson, Sex: M. Even if she could somehow pull of Jason as an androgynous name, the gender maker was a giveaway of her trans status. At this point she had no choice but to come out to him.

Tori reached forward and accepted the forms with a shaking hand, eyes scanning the information printed on the fliers but not really reading anything. When asked about drinks, she answered in a quiet voice so as not to betray her sudden fear, "Um, water's fine." She might throw up if she tried to drink anything else.

Alright, here goes... She took a deep breath and forced the words out. "Um, Alexander? The name on my legal documents is... different. And, uh, so is the, um, gender." Pause, catch her breath. "I'm transgender, my forms say I'm male even though I'm a girl." She held her breath, heart pounding. Maybe she was being silly, but systems and bureaucracies didn't exactly have the best track record when it came to trans women... Hopefully Hammel was different, hopefully Alexander was different.

[Alexander Cross]

Alexander would slowly stand up and walk over to the water fountain and grab a glass. He would pull down the handle and watch as the glass filled with water stopping once a descent amount had entered the glass.

"Well is that so?" He would pause and listen to the girl finish her statement.

"It is not my place to judge... and honestly that doesn't bother me. So long as you know who you are that all that matters. Isn't that what High school is for? Finding your identity and taking the steps to becoming the person you want to be?" Another smile would drag across his face.

Alexander would slowly walk back over to the girl and sit the glass down in front of her and stroke her hair and before pulling out a second form. He would look it over before taking the pen that was still on the table and crossing two x on the paperwork for her to fill out.

"This section right here is really important, so make sure you fill it out." He would use the pen to point out the sections.

The section that he had marked was labelled for corrections that needed to made in the system. The first x that was marked was names. If your name is spelled incorrectly please enter the correct spelling of your name here. Be sure to add any punctuations that are needed to make it correct.

"Right here is were your names goes." He would then point to the next sections.

If your gender is marked wrong in the system please indicated your correct gender.

"Right here is were you correct your gender. We wouldn't want a beautiful lady such as yourself being placed in the boys dorm room." Alexander would slowly move around the table as would make his way to the window.

"There are a lot of things in this world that we can't explain. Personally I don't try to explain them or think them through. All I know is that the world will keep turning and it's best to go with the flow, and its always nice to have secret or two."

Alexander's gaze would turn towards Tori as he would allow a soft smile to pass over his lips. "Besides we have errors in our system all the time."

With that he would make his way over to the back of the room and get a foamed cup and fill it with coffee. He would then add in some sugar and cream, and use a stirring straw to mix the liquid until it was a nice caramel brown. His lips would perk together for a second as he would blows the top layer of steam away and then sip. His hazel green eyes would look to the door as he watched open up.

"Ah Miss Keera, I see that you're back. Miss Tori, will need a class schedule and to be placed in a dorm room." Alexander would look down at his watch.

"I will need to get going. If you have any questions Miss Keera can help you, and you ever need to talk you can find me and here in the afternoon usually tutoring in math." Alexander would make his way towards the door and begin to wave.

He stilled needed to get to the class room so he could set up.

[Tori Peterson]

"It is not my place to judge... and honestly that doesn't bother me." Tori let out the breath she had been holding in, relief washing over her like a cool flood extinguishing the fires of anxiety in her breast. He didn't mind. She was safe. "So long as you know who you are that all that matters. Isn't that what High school is for? Finding your identity and taking the steps to becoming the person you want to be?" She nodded, only half hearing the content of what he said and focusing instead on the underlying message: it's okay, you're safe with me.

Alexander brought over a form and marked some sections. Tori leaned over the table and looked at it: it was for corrections to be made in the computer systems. Hope bloomed in her stomach: could it really be that easy? "Right here is where your name goes. Right here is where you correct your gender. We wouldn't want a beautiful lady such as yourself being placed in the boys dorm room." He paced over to the window as she nodded and half-swooned. Beautiful lady? It was the first time she had ever heard that applied to her, and it felt... amazing.

"There are a lot of things in this world that we can't explain. Personally I don't try to explain them or think them through. All I know is that the world will keep turning and it's best to go with the flow, and its always nice to have secret or two." Alexander looked at her and smiled: "Besides we have errors in our system all the time."

"I- wow, I... thank you," Tori stuttered, not really sure what to say in response to the kindness he had shown her. We have errors in our system all the time. In comparison to the horror stories she had heard from other trans girls dealing with complicated bureaucracies, this was... amazing. Literally all she had to do was fill out a corrections form. Hammel really was different. She looked at Alexander in gratitude, unsure how to convey the depth of the relief and happiness she felt.

She wordlessly sipped her water, her stomach feeling much better than it was a moment ago, and filled out the forms in front of her. Writing her false name didn't feel so bad considering it was possibly the last time she would ever have to do so, at least for a long while.

"I will need to get going. If you have any questions Miss Keera can help you, and you ever need to talk you can find me and here in the afternoon usually tutoring in math." Alexander made his way towards the door and began to wave.

"Alexander? Thank you so much, for everything." She gave Alexander a radiant smile as he left, waving back to him. Maybe she really would go to his tutoring session. Knowing that she had at least one other person on campus who knew her history and didn't mind made her feel so much better about everything.

As Alexander left, she walked up to Miss Keera and handed her the forms, completing the process with her.