Angst and Fluff (Zack)

[Jayden "Jay" Hersch]

(Set back about 2 weeks)

Lincoln City. Jay's hometown. He was ecstatic to be visiting his parents after such a long time away, and normally would be even happier that his roommate had come along and they would be going to his home in Hawaii during the same trip after some time here. However, after what had happened two nights ago, before they left for their trip, Jay had been feeling nervous and tense around Zack, unsure of where they now stood. The plane ride had been awkward and long, and he had slept for most of it (and sort of painfully, considering what he had gone through the night previous...). They had arrived late and both crashed early, but now that the jet lag was starting to wear off and they were getting their bearings again, things were still... Off.

Jay wanted to talk to Zack about it. He really did. He wanted to know how his roommate felt about him and if this was all just a one time, physical attraction sort of deal that they were both going to regret in the long run. All he knew was that his feelings for the hydrokinetic were stronger than ever, and it hurt him to have such boundaries between them now. He didn't know what to do.

And so he sat in his room, staring out the window at the ocean crashing along the sand. Thunder boomed in the distance - they were in for a strong late-summer storm. It wasn't raining yet, but if the dark clouds meant anything, then it would soon. Zack was somewhere, probably in the guest room, or maybe out on the balcony of that room, although he hoped it wasn't the latter, because the weather was awfully threatening. Steeling his nerves, Jay stood and slowly made his way towards the room. He just couldn't take this anymore; he had to know what was going to happen between them now.

[Zachary Mae]

Zack was nervous, he was actually beyond nervous. How do you talk to someone’s parents after you had slept with their son?? Like, he did not know how to do that… He never met any of his hook ups parents, so this was a first to him… At least Jay would never have to meet his parents… Granted Zack was pretty sure he already met Hay-lin’s mother.. Maybe… The woman was so protective of Hay-lin, so he wouldn’t doubt that she would want to meet every guy Hay-lin dated… Zack was fine on the plane, except being nervous to the point where he felt like he was going to throw up, and all the negative thoughts he was having about him and Jay…

After settling in, even a day later; he still didn’t feel comfortable here. He didn’t think he was ever going to for that matter. This house was HUGE, it was it was next to the beach. Jayden’s parents had their own private beach! How was he supposed to take all this in? It was even harder not having Jay’s support; ever since the night they slept together things between them had been off. Ever since he felt the weird tension between them afterward he felt like an ass for what he had done… He couldn’t help but think he ruined their friendship, and that had always been the last thing he ever wanted…

Zack was laying on his bed, shirtless; because this room was the only time he would be able to be shirtless unless they went to the beach. But as he heard the thunder he knew the beach wasn’t happening. He looked to the side and saw the balcony; they had a balcony for the guest room, great; just another thing for him to be uncomfortable with… He sighed and got up, and walked out onto the balcony. He always loved balconies, staying at a hotel in Hawaii when he visited; balconies became such a relaxing place for him. He moved to stand next to the rail; places his hands on it. It probably wasn’t a good idea as he saw the lighting in the distance. It was beautiful once you stepped back and watched it, without the underlying fear of what could probably never happen. Tears slowly ran down his face as he started thinking about Jay; because thoughts ran through his mind about how much he would love to sit here and watch this storm blow pass with Jay in his arms…. But no, Zack just fucked everything up, and now he couldn’t even sit in the same room with Jay without the awkwardness settling between them.

[Jayden "Jay" Hersch]

Jay paused at the door, not looking in; he was scared, scared to see how Zack would react to seeing him, scared that they wouldn't be able to bear being in each others' presence or, worse, Zack would be fine with going back to how they had used to be. That would kill Jay; he couldn't even think about his name without being reminded of how it felt to feel Zack, completely, what he sounded like so close to him and the way their bodies had moved together so perfectly.

But Jay loved Zack, and that was enough to make him take a steadying breath and go into the room, only to be met with empty space. He glanced around before realizing Zack was out on the balcony, looking out at the storm that was passing through. Jay clenched his fingers anxiously and walked to the door, standing and gazing at his roommate's bare back for a moment while Zack didn't know he was there. His eyes traced the hard, defined lines of his shoulders, the curve of his torso as it melded into his strong, lithe waist, down to the faint widening of his hips as his skin met the hem of his pants. He was breathtakingly beautiful, even like this, and Jay swallowed hard, almost turning around and leaving then. He just didn't think he could take it if Zack treated him... Any other way than Jay wanted to be to him.

But he took a few steps forward and managed quietly,"Mum and dad went to bed early." They worked hard, it wasn't surprising. A few more trembling steps, and Jay reached Zack's side, carefully placing his own arms against the railing beside his roommate's. "B... Beautiful, huh?" he murmured, talking towards the storm but meaning so much more. Nothing compared to what was beside him. He finally managed to glance at Zack's face, and realized with a jolt that he was crying. It took a moment for him to comprehend it - Jay had rarely seen Zack cry before. He was usually as emotional as a rock; it scared Jay."H-hey," he stammered, reaching out to place a comforting hand on the boy's back, but hesitating before his skin touched Zack's. "What's wrong?" He wanted so badly to pull Zack into his embrace and comfort him with whatever was making him this upset, but he didn't want to push any boundaries.

[Zachary Mae]

Zack didn’t say anything, he just gripped the railing a bit harder; it was nothing that was noticeable. He was tired of this game, this game of acting like nothing happened between them, yet acting like everything was different. The worst part of it was that he himself was playing the game too. He didn’t say a word, half because he didn’t know what to say, and the other half was because he was crying and didn’t want to talk.

It wasn’t till Jay had asked what was wrong. What was wrong? “Everything…” He didn’t look at Jay, and he didn’t try to hide his tears; there was no point in doing that since he already saw them. How was he supposed to explain his feelings? He hit the railing in the heel of his hand, and turned his head away from jay. Why couldn’t he be better at expressing his feelings like Jay? “I’m sorry…” He looked out to the water lapping at the sand, and sighed. “I know I fucked everything up from what happened that one night… But… I…” How was he suppose to even say it? “I didn’t want you to go.. And I was tired of hiding my feelings… I’m sorry if me having feelings for you ruins our friendship..” Was that good enough? Too vague?

[Jayden "Jay" Hersch]

The few moments of silence concerned Jay more than he was already. He felt like crying himself, between what he was feeling and seeing the guy who hardly ever showed his emotions breaking down beside him. But he forced himself to keep a steady, if worried, expression, moving his hovering hand back to the railing as he waited to see if Zack would speak.

He finally did, thank God. "Everything?" he repeated quietly, his voice cracking slightly. He glanced away, but jumped as Zack hit the railing with his hand. Looking back, he saw Zack turned away from him, which made Jay's heart squeeze painfully. Something so terrible his roommate couldn't even look at him? Or shame that he was crying? Jay didn't know. "S... Sorry?" he stammered. "What for?" And then Zack was explaining, and Jay's mouth was agape slightly as his words spilled out, words that he wanted to hear but couldn't seem to process now that he heard them. Zack... Did have feelings for him? But... To what extent?

Taking a small risk, Jay reached out and grasped the back of one of his roommate's hands with his own. "I didn't want to go," he murmured. "B-but.... When you say you.... You have feelings for me..." He tried to meet Zack's eyes. "Y-you mean... It wasn't just a... A random hookup?" He swallowed hard. "Because...." Now he was having trouble expressing himself. "I... Have feelings for you too. Really, um... Really strong feelings." Like, I'm in love with you. But he didn't dare say that. This was proving as hard as Jay thought it would be, and all he wanted to do was pull Zack into his arms and make everything alright. But a flicker of hope had appeared from Zack's words, and he waited for his roommate's response.

[Zachary Mae]

It wasn’t anything terrible... He just couldn’t look at Jay, and he was ashamed of his tears… He was ashamed for ruining their friendship; because it was ruined now wasn’t it? “for ruining our friendship.. For making it awkward between us.” He didn’t say sorry for having sex with him, because really, he wasn’t sorry about that… Even though he probably should be. “For yelling at you about stupid messes..”


Zack looked down at their hands, and he griped Jay’s hand. Then looked at him, “I’m glad you really didn’t.” He managed a small smile. Zack waited for the boy to finish talking, and he fully smiled, glad to hear those words out of his mouth. “It wasn’t just a hook up, and never will be..” He pulled Jay into an embrace, Wrapping his arms tightly around Jay’s shoulders. “I love you.” He whispered in the boy’s ear. He wasn’t afraid anymore; he couldn’t keep these feelings inside him anymore. But as he said those words, it started raining, and it started coming down hard. But Zack didn’t care because he didn’t want this moment to end.

[Jayden "Jay" Hersch]

Jay's lower lip trembled. Zack thought their friendship was ruined too? But it wasn't entirely his fault, even if that was the case... Jay had been the one threatening to leave, and pushed Zack into what he did. He was glad he didn't apologize about sleeping with him, though. "I shouldn't have left a mess in the first place..." he mumbled, not knowing what else to say. His heart felt like it was going to pound out of his chest.

He looked down in surprise as Zack returned the grip on his hand, then looked back up to see a small smile on his roommate's face. Wait, was... Jay was confused, this conversation had turned so quickly, and by the time he had finished talking Zack was smiling wider, and Jay found a smile spreading across his own face as his roommate assured him it hadn't just been a one time thing. "Zack..." he murmured, and then his strong, bare arms were wrapped around him, and Jay hugged him back, pressing his face into Zack's broad chest as a small sob escaped him. "I love you too," he managed to choke out between the emotions bubbling up inside him. He was so happy, he felt like he could die right then and it would be alright. "Oh, God, I love you so much."

As the rain started to pour down, he finally pulled himself away from Zack's chest, sniffing back his own tears as he wiped uselessly at Zack's cheeks where the tear stains had been. A faint smile was still on his face. "Come here, you dork," he whispered, reaching up to press his hands into the back of Zack's head and guide their lips together, not caring that they were both getting soaked. This was the best moment of Jay's life, and nothing could ruin it. He kissed Zack softly, brushing his fingers through the back of his hair as lightning flashed in the distance and thunder rolled over them. He never wanted it to end.

[Zachary Mae]

Zack assumed their friendship was ruined… What else could explain what was happening to them? “If you hadn’t… We wouldn’t have had sex…” That was the important part right… And if they hadn’t have had sex, they wouldn’t be here confessing their feelings for each other.

Oh, it so wasn’t a onetime thing… Not if either of them could help it that is. Zack wanted to be with Jay till he died, and hopefully there would be a lot of sex in between now and then… Maybe… He was glad to see Jay smile, it was what made his world go around. His heart broke a little when Jay started crying, he held him tighter. “You what to know what else I love?” he smirked a little, even though he knew the boy couldn’t see him. “You’re smile.” He said before Jay could answer. He loved everything about Jay, and the thing was, he could list off all of the stuff that made Jay, Jay. “And I’m glad I was able to see it again.” Because it was like what? A day since he last saw Jay really smile.

Zack smiled at Jay as he started wiping his face, even though the rain beat him to it. He grinned, and moved Jay closer when their lips met. His arms were wrapped around Jay’s waist, as the kissed in the rain. What a movie like scene. Zack pulled back, “We should probably go inside now.” He took Jay’s hand in his, and tugged him inside.

[Jayden "Jay" Hersch]

Jay flushed deeply. "Things kinda escalated that night, huh?" he mumbled, images of the memory flashing through his head. It was true, though, he supposed; if it hadn't been for that outburst, they might never have gotten the nerve to confess to each other. Funny how things worked like that.

Jay couldn't imagine himself ever being with anyone else either. He had tried to push Zack out of his heart in the past, but it had never, ever worked, and now he was so incredibly happy that it hadn't. "Hmm?" Jay sniffled, listening to Zack as he spoke with watery eyes despite his smile. He let out a small laugh at his words. "I love yours too, Zacky," he mumbled. "I'm so sorry for this huge misunderstanding..." Because he had missed his Zack looking happy, too. "But everything is going to get better from here." He just knew it.

Jay did feel like he was in some sappy romantic movie as they kissed; he could practically hear a love song playing in the background. When they finally broke apart, he let out a soft breath, pressing his forehead against Zack's chest for another moment until he felt his roommate's hand slip into his own and tug him inside. "We're kinda soaked," he chuckled as they stepped into the room and closed the door behind them. He just couldn't keep his hands off of Zack now that he knew how he felt - he let his hands trail over the boy's sides, hugging him from behind before murmuring in his ear. "Want to shower with me?" His parents were in the next room, so they would have to be quiet, but Jay had waited for this to happen for so long, he just couldn't keep himself away from Zack anymore. They had to make up for lost time.

[Zachary Mae]

“I didn’t mind it.” He actually loved it, so much. He would do it again and again, and wouldn’t regret a single thing. “I’m just sorry I yelled at you..” He didn’t like yelling at Jay, and regrets that part whole heartly.

Zack could never find it in himself to push Jay out of his heart. He was always there, there had been times where he tried to forget about Jay by sleeping around. But that didn’t work, and it made him feel even lonelier. But now he was so happy that he finally had to boy he wanted all along. “It’s okay. I’m just glad I have you now.” Jay was now ‘his’ right? Like his boyfriend?... He was going to have to test that somehow..

“We’re more than just kind of.” His breath caught as Jay hugged him from behind. “Hmmm, a shower with my boyfriend? I wouldn’t pass up the chance for the world.” He tested the waters, waiting for the boy’s reaction to being called his boyfriend. If it was a good reaction, then that meant they were together, together, right?

[Jayden "Jay" Hersch]

Jay rubbed the back of his head. "It's okay, I deserve to get yelled at sometimes," he mumbled, smiling faintly. "Otherwise I would never get anything done." The apartment would be a complete mess if Jay didn't have Zack cleaning up after him.

They had both done the same thing to try to get each other out of their heads - but it obviously hadn't worked for either of them, and Jay regretted ever trying. He smiled brightly at Zack's words. "As am I," he replied quietly, heart thumping happily in his chest.

He chuckled a bit. "Yeah, I guess so, huh?" he replied, pulling at his wet shirt clinging to his torso. Jay jolted a bit at the word, not expecting it to come out of Zack's mouth so soon. "Is that what we are now?" he murmured, kissing the side of Zack's neck from behind. "Because I would love to call you my boyfriend." And, eventually, more than that. He smiled faintly and finally pulled away from Zack, tugging off his soaked t-shirt and tossing it on the floor to be put in the wash later. As always, he felt self-conscious having his scar bare and open to be seen, but Zack hadn't seemed to mind it last time. "C'mon," he ushered, grabbing onto Zack's hand and tugging him towards the bathroom attached to the guest room.

Once inside, he closed the door, before whirling around and pinning Zack against the wall, latching his lips onto his roommate's collarbone and kissing all along his chest. One hand slowly trailed down to the hem of Zack's pants, while the other scrambled to turn on the shower head, which he managed to do after a few moments. He pulled away from Zack, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "We're gonna have to be quiet," he warned.

[Zachary Mae]

Zack shook his head “You never deserve to get yelled at.” He kissed him softly, and then looked at him lovingly “I don’t care.” He would do everything, all the cleaning and everything, as long as he could always call Jay his boyfriend.



“It is… If you want it to be…” He really wasn’t sure how to answer that question. He didn’t want to push Jay into something he didn’t want. Though, maybe he just made Jay feel guilty… He really hoped that wasn’t the case. Zack ran his hands over Jay’s arms around him. “Good, that makes two of us.” Because the whole world knows he would love to have Jay call him his boyfriend. Zack never minded his scar and he always felt bad that Jay felt self conscious about it.


Zack followed Jay to the bathroom. He wasn’t expecting to have sex, let alone Jay pinning him to the wall. “Shit, Jay.” He very surprised by the action, even though he should have seen it coming. A lot moan escaped Zack’s lips, “You’re the one that had been loud the other night.”

[Jayden "Jay" Hersch]

Jay's heart fluttered, and a wide, ecstatic smile crossed his face. "Then be my boyfriend, Zachary Mae," he murmured, kissing his neck and trailing them down his shoulder, ending with a longer, softer one just above his bicep. This was definitely what Jay wanted. What he had wanted for years. Of course he wasn't going to say no! "Good," he nodded, unable to stop smiling.

"Is there a problem?" he asked as he pressed Zack against the wall, cocking an eyebrow playfully. Of course, if Zack didn't like it he would stop, but Jay had a feeling he was cursing more out of surprise than anything else. "Shhh," he grinned, beginning to unzip his own jeans as he stepped back towards the shower, bringing his boyfriend along with him. "I can keep quiet as long as you can."

-----

Jay let out a huff of air as tugged Zack towards the bed, a smile lighting up his face as wave after wave of emotion rolled through his body, all good and pleasurable and wonderful. He had never remembered feeling so fulfilled before; they had managed to keep mostly quiet, fortunately, and it had still been amazing.

With a towel wrapped around his waist, Jay flopped down on the bed, wriggling into the comforter as he waited for Zack to come in and join him. His hair was a bit fluffy and messy from drying it; the blonde color was starting to fade, and it was starting to get a little longer. "That was wonderful, Zacky," he told his boyfriend, snuggling close and pressing a kiss against his arm. "You're wonderful." Adoration was clear in his eyes as he gazed up at his lover, brushing the pad of his thumb against Zack's cheek.

[Zachary Mae]

Zack followed Jay toward the bed, tonight seemed like a follow Jay night. He loved it though, he loved Jay. He was so glad that they were together; he really hoped Jay knew that. He knew how unemotional he can be/is. He was glad that Jay really had been able to be quiet, and so had he, but he knew he was going to be able to keep quiet. Zack really didn’t want his parent’s to hear them… That would be completely awkward and uncomfortable.

Zack also had a towel around his waist, but he didn’t know why they were using one…. It wasn’t like they were trying to hide things… He still crawled onto the bed, moving so close to Jay so that they could snuggle. Zack’s hair was also fluffy, but not as fluffy as Jay’s. He wrapped his arms around Jay as he snuggled close, and kissed the boy’s head. “It was beyond wonderful.” He started to rub Jay’s back, and smirked at the compliment, “And you’re amazing.” He couldn’t help but smile as he looked into his lover’s eyes. “I love you.”

[Jayden "Jay" Hersch]

"Mmm..." Jay hummed happily as Zack pulled him close, nuzzling his face against his chest and giving it several kisses. How many times had he wanted to do this? Those nights when Zack would come comfort him from his nightmares, how he had wished they would turn into something like this... But he didn't have to wish anymore. He still had a hard time believing it.

He sighed as Zack began to rub his back, still feeling the slowly fading rush of making love as they simply laid there and relaxed in each other's presence. Smiling as Zack spoke, Jay chuckled a bit and shook his head. "You're sweet." His breath caught at those three little words, so simple in their utterance but containing meaning that Jay hadn't known the full depth of until now. "I love you too," he murmured, leaning in and giving Zack a long, slow kiss, closing his eyes and getting lost in the moment. After what felt like forever and no time at all, they finally broke apart, and Jay smiled again, settling down against Zack's chest again and resting his cheek on his strong, bare pec.

"How... How long have you... Wanted this?" he was unable to keep himself from asking. It was obvious it had been some time, but Jay wanted to know just how long. They would have to make up for the lost time they had.