Worried Cousin Syndrome (Beat-box)

[Rowan Booker]

Man could this week be any weirder? Okay, so it wasn't all that out of the ordinary for him to hookup in the pool, flirt in the student lounge, teacher Sammy some dance moves and hang out with Lucy. What was weird however, was spending the night with someone and not sleeping with them like that. Rowan was putting full blame on the fact that he was vulnerable and that he hadn't been given proper notice before Alexander came over asking for help. He hadn't been prepared to deal with anyone while he was wallowing in his own worrying. Ever since he got back from Boston, things hadn't quite been the same for him. Things were always so light-hearted when he got back usually, but this time around had been different.

First of all was the fact that Lucy had been avoiding him for some crazy reason that he hadn't understood at the time. It took him a couple years, but in this time he was able to tell her something really personal about himself and his family life. He told her about what happened to Ben and why he was so insanely protective over his cousin. She was his baby girl and he'd literally kill or be killed for her. And with that out in the open now, he hadn't been able to stop thinking about her. Every week they had been given a daily phone date, specifically made to keep in touch after he left for Hammel and after Benjamin's death. It was something really important to him and he looked forward to it all the time. Lately though, she'd been skipping out on him and for some reason he had a really bad feeling about it.

Every time he called, his Aunt Maryna would wave it off and just tell him to stop worrying so much. She didn't get it though. She was in her own little world that kept her from seeing how screwed up Beatrice was about the whole thing. Seeing Maryna cry every year the way that she did in front of Beat and then act like it was nothing? How was the poor girl supposed to take that? It was part of the reason that Rowan always told her that if she needed to talk if she wanted anything at all, that she could call him and he'd be there. It didn't matter what he was doing, he'd drop it all just for her. With her growing distant, it really started screwing with him.

Rowan knew Beat. He knew her very well because she was just like a mixture of Ben and Rowan combined. They taught her well as they grew up. And with as well as he knew her, he knew that something was wrong. Very wrong if she was avoiding him. It hadn't stopped running through his mind since the first day that she declined his phone call. By today, he'd given up. If she wanted him, she knew how to contact him. And with all that had been going on, Rowan needed a break from his social life to just collect himself. He wanted to stop dwelling, but it wouldn't work until he heard from his girl. His beat-box. Rowan stared up at his ceiling of his dorm room from his bed and sighed before slinging his arm over his eyes.

[Beatrice Booker]

The past week had been a whirlwind. She was in a new place, in a new state, away from her parents and everything she'd ever known. She had a power that no one had ever told her she'd get, and she didn't really think she wanted. She had seen her mother cry for at least two different reasons, but about a dozen times, and had hugged her father goodbye until she didn't even know when, to leave with a stranger to some boarding school for other powered people like herself. 

She couldn't help but wonder who she'd meet. Part of her hoped she'd meet the real life Sailor Moon. She had powers didn't she? All the Sailor Scouts totally did and if there were all these different powers they could totally form a girls group. If the Sailor Scouts weren't there, she'd just have to start it. What was the good of having gifts if they weren't going to use them? 

She looked down at her hand with the room number scribbled on it in red ink. It looked like blood she thought giggling a little before racking her knuckles on the door. She hadn't seen Rowan since he was home in August, around the time of the.... Well she hadn't seen him in a while. She hadn't talked to him in a couple weeks, which was weird, but her fault. She wasn't going to bring it up though, she didn't want to hurt his feelings. Surely her mom would have told him something, she hoped. 

"Open up Row-Boat!" She called getting impatient. She really hoped this was his room. She hadn't done the best job of getting to know where things were yet. "Come on you're slower than grandma after Thanksgiving dinner!" 

[Rowan Booker]

Rowan nearly rolled off his bed when there was a knock at his door. What the hell was it with people lately? They all needed him for something. He swore if it was Alex again because of another Lucy prank, he was ignoring it. The last thing he needed was more confusion when he was still in a very vulnerable state. Ya know what, no, he was going to ignore it no matter who it was. It could be the best sex partner he'd ever had for all he cared. He wasn't opening the goddamn door because he just wanted one day for himself. Was it really that difficult? Did everyone really need him all the time? No, they could have one day without him. Whether they liked it or no-...then there was the voice that came with the knock.

Now, sometimes he felt like he was hallucinating things because he found that he dreamed a lot about his family. This could have been one of those times, but the impatience and the reference to their grandmother had him. It was her...but why was she here? Maryna always called him before they visited and if she didn't, his mother did. Surprises weren't something he handled well so for this to be a surprise, well, he probably would have gotten kind of irritated with whoever's idea it was. Most of the time his mother was trying to surprise him, so he'd have a private word with her later if that was the case.

Rowan strode over to his door and opened it to find something he hadn't expected. It was just Beat.

His eyes widened and he glanced around, "What the hell are you doin' here Beat? Where's your mother?" Because clearly there had to be a reason. Were they hiding from him as a joke? It wasn't funny. And now that he was standing in front of his baby cousin, he found himself in a very tough situation. On the one hand, he wanted to shake her and tell her never to worry him like that again, on the other hand, he just wanted to snatch her up and never let her go because he had missed her so much. He settled for standing there with his arms crossed in front of him, blocking her entrance into his room.

[Beatrice Booker]

The look on Rowan's face was priceless and she was kicking herself for not having her camera. She should have known how shocked he'd look to see her. Even if he did know she was here, he wouldn't expect her at his dorm. She had to find that information on her own and it wasn't easy, well it wasn't hard. Okay for Beat it was easy, but it shouldn't have been.

"Jeeze, Where's my mom?" She rolled her eyes. The kids gloves! She wasn't a baby. "Where's your mom? I don't need my mom Rowan I'm not a baby i'm 13." She said brushing the hair out of her face and behind her ear before crossing her arms against her flat chest. "Your mom didn't tell you? I go here now." She said and pushed past him to go look at his room. It was different than at home, she'd half expected him to bring everything with him, his furniture and the things they had as kids... it was weird seeing him in a different place. 

"This one yours?" She said gesturing to one of the beds before plopping on it and bouncing. She laughed "yeah this ones yours. It seems like you." She watched Rowan. He still looked ridiculous. "Surprise?"

[Rowan Booker]

When she pushed past him, he let out a huff and shut the door. The desire to be pissed at her was winning over the other side at the moment. Sometimes he hated how similar they were because all of the things she said were things that he said and if he got mad at her for it, he was a hypocrite. Still, she was only thirteen, barely into puberty, she wasn't an adult and she didn't know what she was getting herself into sometimes. This was why he'd taken to looking over her, guiding her in a direction that was good enough for her, even if it wasn't the best. After all, he could only do so much when it came to the little spitfire. She was going to do whatever the hell she wanted.

And he was definitely going to have a word with his mother. Why she had kept that little detail to herself during their last phone call was beyond him, but it really fired him up. Not that she knew half of the worrying that he did over his cousin, why would she? He didn't open up to people. He didn't show just how much it scared him when Beatrice ignored him. She was only thirteen, still dealing with her brother's death, what was he supposed to do act like nothing happened? That's what Maryna and his mother did. He couldn't.

"God Dammit Beatrice, do you have any idea how worried I've been about you? Did you think for a second about letting me in on what was going on? You better have a damn good excuse for ignoring me because I've been going out of my mind!" It was a rarity that he ever got angry with her. That he ever got angry with anyone really. Rowan was a very go with the flow type. He didn't blow up on people over the small things, but to him, this wasn't anything small. And by now, she would know that when he raised his voice, he meant business.

[Beatrice Booker]

"God Dammit Beatrice, do you have any idea how worried I've been about you? Did you think for a second about letting me in on what was going on? You better have a damn good excuse for ignoring me because I've been going out of my mind!"

Beat was smiling until he started to yell. He'd never yelled at her, not any time that she could remember at all. She felt a pit start to grow in her stomach, she wasn't sure if it was anger or sadness but what she did know was it was spreading to her eyes and that just wasn't going to happen. Beat didn't cry. She just didn't. She hadn't cried since her brother had died, and even then she hadn't cried until she'd seen Rowan cry. She sure as hell wasn't going to cry now, so she swallowed hard and let herself be angry instead. 

"I thought you would have known!" She said shouting back at him, hopping off of the bed to stand up. She wasn't going to get yelled at like that. "I thought one of our moms would have let you know that I projected Ben's dead body onto my bed and then some wacko came over and told me I have Illusion powers or some junk!" She spit out. She had no plans on telling him what exactly happened. 

She huffed and turned around. She didn't want to look at him right now. "Your bedspread is stupid." Was all she could think to say. She wanted a dig at him though even if it was dumb. She didnt want him to see how close to tears she was. 

[Rowan Booker]

Rowan hadn't meant to raise his voice. Not to her. Not ever. He'd just been so driven to insanity lately that he couldn't help himself. It just happened. She had to understand why he was upset. She had to realize that he'd been worrying so much about her that he had practically made himself sick. He hadn't been the same and people were starting to realize it. He didn't like feeling this way. He didn't like being angry, least of all with her.

He wasn't surprised when she fought back though. They were the same person. He'd have done the exact same thing if he was attacked the way that she had just been. Rowan tried justifying his anger, the way that he went off on her. But there was nothing to make it reasonable. He should have just kept his composure the way that he always did and calmly told her how much it hurt him when she ignored him the way that she had. No. Neither of their parents bothered to tell him these things and that really irked him further. How could they keep something like this from him? To protect him? To protect her? What was it?

She turned her back on him with one last huff of an insult and he could have crumpled to his knees right there in front of her. Instead he stood there a moment longer, just thinking about what she'd told him. Illusions. Projecting Ben's dead body. How could he have been so selfish? But then...how could he have known? Rowan felt that annoying stinging beneath his eyes and the lump forming in his throat. Despite what she said, she'd always be his baby girl and for her to have to go through something like that, it tore at him. Rowan approached her slowly and didn't care if she fought him. He snatched her up and plopped on his bed, cradling her in his arms like how he had back when she was a tiny little thing. "Beat, I...I didn't mean to yell. I'm...I'm sorry. I just, I didn't know what was happening and I didn't know why you wouldn't talk to me. I got scared, Beat," He whispered.

Tears started collecting in his eyes and he tried blinking them away, but it didn't really work. "I'm so sorry that you had to deal with that all on your own. You should have told me, you could have called and I would have been there in a second. I'd do anything for you Beatrice, don't you get that?"

[Beatrice Booker]

She managed to chase away the tears after several seconds. She'd gotten good at that much. She had a method, three long breaths in followed by two short ones, a hard blink and she was fine. It'd become almost like a ritual. But for some reason it worked. Maybe it was because she believed it would work. That was how a lot of things were now. She believed she'd see Ben again so hard she'd projected him. It was terrifying. 

His hands felt foreign on her when he picked her up into his arms so easily. She felt like she was little again. She didn't fight him. She could hear how broken he was in his voice and she didn't like to yell at him either. She didn't like to fight. She hated to fight. She didn't like conflict or sadness or anything that could bring her back to that stupid day where Ben didn't come home. She didn't like to think about being sad and how that made everyone pity her. She didn't like how pathetic people thought she was and how they looked at her like she was helpless. 

She snuggled into him while he held her closer, cradling her. 

"I'm so sorry that you had to deal with that all on your own. You should have told me, you could have called and I would have been there in a second. I'd do anything for you Beatrice, don't you get that?"

"I know..." She said, that feeling coming back again. She looked back at Rowan and saw it. "Stop it Rowan. I don't want you to cry." She said turning in his arms to face him, putting her arms on his shoulders and staring so intensely into his eyes, fighting it so hard herself. "I just... I was scared and I didn't know what was going on and I just..." She didn't want to tell him how numb she felt. She didn't want to say that she couldn't even bring herself to pick up the phone the days after before coming to Hammel. "There was a lot to do and my mom wanted to spend time with me... she said I'd see you enough when I got here." It was a lie but it was better then the other. "She doesn't really get how close we are... you know that Row-boat." She said as she pulled him in for a hug to both comfort him and to disguise the tear that had escaped. 

[Rowan Booker]

He couldn't handle the stress of this all. It came down on him harder than he expected, but she was finally here and he could finally hold her and be there for her again. It meant more to him than he could ever have imagined. She was everything to him. The only thing he'd be devastated to lose.

Beat curled up into him and he found him hugging her even tighter. How could he ever go a day without her again? It was scary to think of.

Rowan looked up at her when she turned in his arms to face him. He tried pushing the tears back. He didn't cry. Not ever. But this, this had to be worthy of crying didn't it? He bit down on his cheek and just listened to her. She always said things that were much more mature than a thirteen year old should be capable of. She was always so strong for him because he knew that he only had to be strong for her when things went wrong. The tears started welling up again and when she pulled him in for a hug, he clutched at her tighter. He didn't believe all of what she said, but he wasn't going to tell her that. She could believe what she wanted, all he wanted now was to hug his cousin until she got annoyed with him.

"I love you, Beat. And I missed you like crazy," He said with a sigh. Before he pulled away, just enough to look at her, he tried smiling, being the fun cousin that he was supposed to be and asked, "So what do you think of it so far? Did you meet anyone?"

[Beatrice Booker]

It had been a long time since Beat had seen Rowan like this, if ever. He usually was strong for her and she didn't quite understand what was going on now. She was here. Why wasn't he happy? She knew that she should have called, should have talked to him, should have picked up the phone, and she felt bad for that. But had it really been that long? Her heart was breaking watching him hurting. She didn't mean to hurt him.

She reached out and pushed some of the hair out of his face. That's what her mom always did and for some reason, though she didn't know why, it made her feel a little bit better. 

"I love you, Beat. And I missed you like crazy,"

"I love you too Row-Boat." She said and huggled him in a little bit before letting go. Letting the space grow between them again. 

"So what do you think of it so far? Did you meet anyone?"

She shook her head. "No, I just got here only a little while ago. I came to see you first... well after dropping my stuff in my room... I still haven't met my roommates." She shrugged. That was something she was nervous about. She hadn't shared a room since she'd shared it with Ben when they were younger. 

"Everyone here seems kind of weird though... I don't know who to talk to... I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing and getting fried to a crisp or lasered in the head." She chuckled, joking. 

[Rowan Booker]

Rowan was focused on cheering up now. He didn't want to keep blubbering like a fucking baby because that wasn't him. He was strong and he was careless. Beatrice was here, she was fine, she was back under his watch and now he could relax. And by relax, he meant push all of the problems that he had to that far back corner of his mind where everything was stored, never to be seen again if he could manage it. Beat didn't need to see him like this anymore.

"I'm sure they'll be nice, and if they aren't, just call me over and I'll take care of it," He said with a smile. He didn't doubt that she could take care of herself or that her roommates would love her, but sometimes you got placed with roommates that weren't all that interested in you. Such as his. They didn't seem very pleased with his lifestyle or choices. And he didn't often speak to any of them.

Rowan chuckled at her admittance and stroked her cheek softly, "Babe, no one is going to fry you to a crisp or laser you in the head without having a serious problem with me. You'll learn who to talk to and who to avoid, just keep me posted on who you decide to hang out with so I can keep a close eye, got it?" He smiled down at her, still keeping her close.

He may have been fun cousin Rowan again, but he didn't intend on letting her go quite yet.

[Beatrice Booker]

"I'm sure they'll be nice, and if they aren't, just call me over and I'll take care of it," 

Beat found herself rolling her eyes at this, though she hoped he didn't notice. What the hell did he think she was going to let her do? Beat people up for her? She was 13 for God's sake. She was an adult and she could handle her own conflicts. She'd done a decent job of it so far and she could do it now, especially considering she had what she thought to be the most terrifying ability of all. Illusions, and she'd yet to have a pretty one. 

She gave him a smile anyway, "Thanks Rowboat." She said. 

"Babe, no one is going to fry you to a crisp or laser you in the head without having a serious problem with me. You'll learn who to talk to and who to avoid, just keep me posted on who you decide to hang out with so I can keep a close eye, got it?"

She sighed and nodded. "I'll keep you in the loop Row." She said, meaning that. But she had no intentions of telling him everything. She loved Rowan so much, more than anyone else in the entire world but she just wasn't sure he saw her for who she was now, and not who she was after the accident. It was years ago and she wanted so badly to move on, to be a different girl, to grow and to be a teenager. She wanted to have experiences, she wanted to kiss boys... and maybe girls! She wasn't sure. She wanted to do all these things and just worried that he'd hold her back. She knew it would come from a good place, he always did, but she also knew that it was just as hard for him as herself... at least she thought so. Maybe even harder. 

Beat pulled herself close into Rowan. "I promise, now matter what I'll always be your cousin and love you more than any boy or girl in the world." She said kissing his cheek. That much she could promise with every part of her heart. 

[Rowan Booker]

Despite what he'd let her believe, he did see her roll her eyes. And he understood that he may not always be able to protect her, but it wasn't as though he was a violent person anyway. Rowan was a lover, not a fighter, at least not physically. He preferred to abuse people with his words if he felt it necessary (which more often than not, was the case). If someone had a problem with his baby cousin, they would answer to him. He didn't care if she liked it or not, it was what she'd have had to deal with if Ben was still alive. At least now she only had Rowan instead of both Ben and Rowan to stick up for her. Ben probably would have been worse than Rowan.

He poked her side, "You better keep my in the loop. I have my ways of finding out if you aren't." He offered her a smirk, but there was a lingering sincerity in his voice. When it came to certain people, he did everything he could to make sure they were really okay. Typically it was the more naive and innocent ones that he felt the need to do this for, God forbid he ever keep track of what went on with Lucy without her being the one to tell him. Then again, she'd probably react the same way he would if it was reversed, so he couldn't blame her for that, which was why he never really tried keeping tabs on her.

Beatrice curled up closer to him and he pressed his lips against the top of her head as she spoke before pulling away to look at her. She kissed his cheek and he let out a sigh, "You know that's all I want, Beat. I want you to be happy and have fun. You're young, you'll make mistakes, but you'll also have me there to pick you up if you fall too hard. It's what I'm supposed to do, babe. I just need you to keep me posted so I can be there for you when you need me."

Because in his eyes, she'd always be that little girl, looking lost as ever after finding out about the car accident....