Want To Hold Your Hand (AJ) [M]

[Travis Morgan]

Travis looked down at her and nodded subtly. "Yeah," he breathed. He didn't need to talk to Michael anymore, even though it hurt to leave things the way they were. There was a part of him that wanted to find that boy he'd fallen in love with again. He wanted to talk Michael back to the place they'd been before, but nothing could really fix this. How could Travis ever trust that he wouldn't pull this kind of immature bullshit again?

He couldn't. The trust was broken.

Travis stared at AJ, unblinking. He was looking into her eyes, wrapped up in her comfort, and he could feel his soul healing. He was glad she was here. Even the chill of the winter air didn't seem cold in her arms. He noticed that his hands were stiff from the snow he'd angrily picked up and thrown, but he wasn't cold. Everything he needed was in her eyes.

His head dipped forward slightly. There was only inches between their lips. It wouldn't take much for them to meet. Was it okay for him to do that? She wanted him to be expressive, but was it too soon for that? He knew she liked him. That wasn't a worry. He felt AJ's fondness for him, and he knew that if she told him "no" it wouldn't be because they were just friends. It would be because Travis was still hurt. Because he still loved Michael, or at least the person he'd been before all of this.

His breathing was slow and shallow, and there was an intensity in his gaze that he'd never let show before. He wanted her. Not just carnally. He wanted all of her. Her mind, her spirit, her essence. He had dipped into her energy so many times and found her beautiful no matter the circumstance. Even when she was scared. Even when she was angry. Even when she was volitile, and confused, and upset. She was always beautiful. Travis had harmed himself, letting his emotions merge into hers, and he would do it again in a heartbeat if she needed him to. He knew that.

He would do anything for her. It wasn't just because he was hurt. He felt it before Michael ripped out his heart and spit on his pride. He had known it the day he met her. He'd thought then that he loved her, but the idea was so sudden and unexpected that he shoved it away. But now.. now there was nothing between them but a preconcieved notion of social convention. He didn't need to wait for the hurt to fade. He knew how he felt about her.

His head dipped closer again, his gaze still locked on her sparkling, deep, brown eyes. His lips parted, and he ran his tongue across them nervously. His body was tense. Impossibly still with anticipation. Travis had yet to notice that he'd stopped breathing. He couldn't see anything but AJ. Should he kiss her? Did she want him to kiss her?

[Amanda Joy "AJ" Lane]

AJ was happy that he'd agreed not to talk to him again after that. He'd expressed himself, gotten out how he felt and that was all he could do. Michael could choose to listen, or he could choose to ignore it. But she wasn't so sure that Michael was set on winning Travis back. It was sad, how things fell apart. Sometimes for seemingly no reason at all, or just the fact that someone was far away from you. AJ supposed her relationship with her parents fell apart when she was sent to Hammel. They called every once in a while, but she wasn't so sure that they wanted to know the full extent of what was going on with their daughter.

She felt incredibly close to Travis and not just physically. The closeness had only grown since they'd met and started spending more time together, since he proved to her that he was going to be there for her no matter what. She'd even tried to push him away. Nothing would deter him and she needed someone like that, someone willing to fight to get to know her. Travis had fared well in that battle.

"Trav," she said softly as his head dipped closer to hers. She wished she knew what he was thinking, what was going on in his head. She wanted to know if he wanted this or if he was just responding to her emotions or trying to push thoughts of Michael away. Uncertainty ebbed at her, but she could sense the pheromones--feel them all over again. The air was pungent with them.

The gaze was so intense and AJ found hers shifting to land on his lips. The moment was full of hesitation and tension and she didn't know how to communicate to him that it was alright to do what he was intending, that she wanted it, that she craved it, that he meant so much to her.

[Travis Morgan]

Travis watched her eyes shift. It was a short distance, and warmth swelled in his chest when he realized she was looking at his lips. That was permission enough. She wasn’t looking away. She wasn’t trying to avoid it. Travis could feel her wanting, and it drew him in.

It was like gravity. So normal. So right. He sank his fingers into her hair as he kissed her. Holding onto her. Taking in her warmth. Her smell. Her taste. Travis’ eyes fluttered shut and everything was slow motion. Time felt like it was stopping. AJ flooded his senses, and he was lost in her.

He kissed her like they were old lovers, separated for eons and reunited at last. Like he knew her completely, but the distance had made them both wary. He did feel like he’d known her for forever. Honestly, it was hard to remember that she had not always been with him. She fit so perfectly. She made so much sense.

Soft. Gentle, but firm. Passionate. His lips moved against hers, quietly pushing further, investigating how far he could go. His other hand pressed against her back, moving slowly up and down against the fabric of her costume. Right, he’d almost forgotten they were dressed up. In these moments, AJ’s appearance mattered less to him. He saw her energy more than he saw her features.

Travis parted his lips, taking a small breath and running his tongue across AJ’s bottom lip. His hand at her back lowered slightly and pulled her tighter against him. Even if she couldn’t sense his pheromones, it would be impossible not to notice his arousal at this moment. He might have been embarrassed by that, if he weren’t completely distracted by AJ’s every subtle, intoxicating reaction.

[Amanda Joy "AJ" Lane]

It was different. That was AJ's first thought when Travis kissed her, hands burying into her curls and pulling her closer. Her first kiss was with Oliver and that had been quickly ruined when her power manifested and made him hungry for way more than that and again with Phoenix when he'd been trying to get her out of her clothes in the middle of a park. All of her kisses were power induced, a result of crazy pheromones and her manipulation over them, but this one wasn't, at least it didn't feel like it. Maybe the pheromones had intensified the moment, but the kiss wasn't because of her manipulating him. It felt real and AJ actually wanted it.

She was all too aware of his hands lingering on her back. A month ago, maybe even a few weeks ago, this would have scared her. Would have reminded her of Phoenix's hands on her back, trying to zip down her dress, but she was healing, and Phoenix's apology had helped speed up the process, even if she never would forget it. Besides, this was about pushing herself to heal, to move on and her desire for Travis outweighed everything else negative.

It took her a good ten seconds, but she melted into him and she kissed him back, one hand on his arm, the other on his neck. Her breath hitched a little when his tongue ran across her lip and he pulled her tighter against him, all too aware of his arousal and not knowing how to react.

[Travis Morgan]

The corners of Travis’ mouth pulled into a grin when he heard the interruption in AJ’s breath. She didn’t know what to do with herself, he could tell. He could feel her hesitation, but it wasn’t fearful. She wasn’t scared of him the way she’d been scared of the others. She was doing this because she wanted to, and Travis took a little pride in the knowledge that he made her lose control of her breath.

Her hand was cool on his neck, soothing the heat that erupted there. He wouldn’t be surprised if there was steam rising from him. Travis was almost too warm for the jacket he had on, but he wasn’t going to pull away long enough to take it off. AJ was more important than his rising temperature, and he didn’t want this to end.

Travis closed his fist around a handful of her curls, pulling gently, not enough to hurt. He slipped his tongue past her lips, and dug his fingertips into her back. Everything he did was careful, testing the waters. Mindful not to take to large a step forward, and taking care not to become boring in the process.

In a way, this was all new to Travis too. He hadn’t been with Michael since he manifested his power fully, and it was different. It was more. They had been intense at times, but nothing like this. This was electric. This was intoxicating. He felt AJ’s wants and needs as well as his own, and it made him ache in the best kind of way.

His teeth grazed across AJ’s lip, and he pulled back just enough to plant a kiss on the corner of her mouth, and along her jaw, and just under her ear. Travis pulled in a shaking breath and his eyes opened. “I gotta stop,” he breathed, very aware now of the arousal pulsing against AJ’s hip.

Unless you wanna go somewhere else. He wouldn’t say that part out loud. He wouldn’t suggest that he wanted anything more from her than he was getting.

[Amanda Joy "AJ" Lane]

AJ had never been high, but she could say that this was probably close to that feeling. Their powers had enhanced everything, she could tell. She knew he had to be feeling everything she was and she could feel the pheromones around them, the ones they were both releasing, the release was the best part. They'd both been holding back and the tension was becoming suffocating because she knew what he wanted and vice-versa.

She melted into his every touch, every movement he made, sending shivers through her body. But it wasn't the cold. She wasn't cold at all. Her hands sunk into his blonde hair as his lips finally left hers, planting kisses elsewhere.

"I gotta stop." That sent AJ crashing down to reality, to the reality of her heart thumping in her ears and the fact that she hadn't wanted Travis to pull away just as her body hadn't. She realized how swept up in the passion she was and how that feeling was craved, even needed. She'd spent so much time separating herself from everyone else, not wanting to mess things up with her power, not wanting to get involved with others for fear that they would hate her for something she couldn't help. This closeness she felt to Travis surrounded her, enveloping her in a hazy cloud.

She wanted to ask why. The word formed on her lips, but she knew why. She could feel why. "Travis," she breathed, her hands on his face. "I can....I can sense the pheromones you're releasing." Which was her way of saying I know you don't want to stop. She felt her face flush, she felt all too much and it was amazing to be overwhelmed by something that wasn't pain, or fear.

[Travis Morgan]

Travis pulled his head back, turning it ever so slightly to the side. He looked at her, eyes narrowed. Confused. Of course she could sense his pheromones. She’d been training and.. wait did she mean..? Was she saying it was okay?

They didn’t have to stop?

It was hard to think right now. This haze of desire clouded his senses and made him second guess himself. “D’you mean.. you wanna..?” His voice sounded strange in his ears. Either the sound of his own heartbeat was distorting his hearing, or his voice really was deep and raspy with unfettered passion. The mere suggestion that they were not, in fact, stopping here made him tingle from head to toe.

But no amount of excitement or distraction could make him forget that he was supposed to make sure, make absolutely sure that they were on the same page. Blurred lines of consent his ass (even it that was an irresistibly catchy tune). Feeling something and wanting something were two entirely different things, and Travis preferred to have a solid ‘yes’.

Travis touched her face. Brushed his thumb across her cheek. Bit his lip. “Because you don’t have to. It’s really okay if you don’t…”

[Amanda Joy "AJ" Lane]

Travis looked confused and AJ knew she hadn't been very clear with her words. Maybe it's because she was slightly embarrassed. Underneath everything, all the passion, she was still that shy girl and she really didn't want to say it out loud. But it shouldn't matter, because it was Travis and she felt comfortable with him, she always had.

"Yeah, that's what I meant," she told him, meeting his eyes. "And I can tell you want to." It was a feeble attempt at a joke and the moment she said it, she felt extremely awkward for having mentioned it. "I know it's okay if I don't." It better be okay if she didn't. But this was Travis and she knew it would be. There was only one little thing nagging at her, the fact that he and Michael had just broken up. AJ had felt this way about him for a while now and she really didn't want to screw anything up, not what they had. She needed it too much.

Her hand snaked down his neck. Things were moving fast. And normally for AJ, this would be too fast. But she felt like all of these steps were things they'd held back on, feelings they'd dismissed. And now they were playing catch up and maybe that was okay. "Don't worry, Trav," she told him. "I want to." She'd suddenly realized where they were, as if everything had made her forget. God, had anybody been watching? She'd usually been the one walking by the ridiculous P.D.A, not participating in it. She blushed slightly at the realization before turning back to him after looking around. "You....just..." She couldn't find words. "You didn't give up on me. And you care. And you made me this costume by hand and you're just....you're Travis. And I want this."

Certainty was a strange thing as she hadn't felt it in a while.

[Travis Morgan]

”Yeah, that’s what I meant.”

Oh god.

”Don’t worry, Trav. I want to.”

Oh dear god. Really?

There was no accurate way to describe the utter chaos that erupted in Travis’ brain once AJ made her intentions undeniably clear. He just sort of looked at her for a moment. Frozen. Silently trying to figure out what to do with himself now. Hoping to GOD that he didn’t screw this up somehow.

Frantically he tried to remember how this had worked last time. He didn’t remember being so knee-shakingly nervous the first time he and Michael— oh right. They’d been high. Well that wouldn’t help him here.

Travis slowly drew in a breath and stepped back, tugging AJ gently along with him. “Okay,” he said, trying really hard to just be cool, but then… That next thing she said. The way she’d said it.. The way AJ assured him that this was what she really wanted made him blush. Like.. of course, you’re Travis, who else would it be? He couldn’t put words to it, but the implication in that sentiment made him ache. Made him want to laugh and cry at the same time. It was the first time in a long time that he felt like he was worth something. Even in Michael’s attempts to make him feel good, he’d never managed to make Travis feel like this.

All of the emotions, and adrenaline, and hormones were more than a little disorienting, and he was feeling just a bit dizzy. Travis held onto AJ a little tighter, then pressed his lips against hers again. He couldn’t think right now. He couldn’t even remember which direction the dorms were from here. AJ just made him feel like he was the best person in the whole world, and he didn’t want to separate from her even enough to walk somewhere.

If only one of them could teleport.

[Amanda Joy "AJ" Lane]

At first AJ wasn't sure if Travis would say anything. It didn't seem as if he would. He was just looking at her, and then moments later he was tugging her along and her mind started rushing, but every thought was of Travis.

After she spoke, she waited a minute before speaking again. "I know that's not the best way of wording it, but that's just how I feel." For someone who read so much, she sure was lacking in the words department. But apparently that was good enough for him, because he'd pulled her in tighter and pressed his lips to hers again, and she smiled into the kiss, pulling him down to her level with her hands around his neck.

"You think we're gonna make it back there?" she mumbled against his lips, a slight laugh in her voice. It was slightly funny, how wrapped up in each other they were. She didn't want to part from him, didn't want his body to stop pressing up against hers. The adrenaline was coursing through her and AJ hadn't known what it was like to ever feel like this and it was addicting. It was funny how the tension was seeping away the more they got close to each other, the more they tangled themselves together and got lost. Passion and aching replaced it. It was better, but she wanted more.

Normally AJ would be thinking about the fact that girls and boys weren't allowed in each other's rooms past a certain time, but her mind wasn't stuck on the details like that. The rule was a minor detail she wasn't considering.

[Travis Morgan]

“Yeah,” he answered slowly, the ducked down with a grin and picked her up. Travis held her close, countering for the inevitable flail of surprise. “Just point me in the right direction, because I can’t see anything but you right now.”

Oh. God. That was so cheesy. That was too cheesy! Did I say it out loud? Maybe I didn’t. Oh, shit. I definitely said that out loud. Fuuuuck.

Nervous laughter bubbled in his chest and made it’s way reluctantly past his lips. He dipped his head, burying his face in AJ’s hair for a second before he could speak again. “Aah.. I would say something like ‘that sounded way smoother in my head’, but I didn’t say it in my head first.” Travis pressed his lips together, making an effort to get the giggles under control.

“No, but seriously, I have no idea where I am right now, so if you could actually point me in the right direction..?” He held back another round of giggles, feeling giddy from all the.. everything that was happening right now. His feelings. Her feelings. The muted energy frothing just a few doorways away from them. Travis felt like he was vibrating, and the heightened state did actually make it difficult to see.

[Amanda Joy "AJ" Lane]

When Travis grinned like that, she was trying to figure out why and she almost screamed when her feet were lifted off of the ground. He'd picked her up, he'd actually picked her up! "Travis, what are you doing?!" she asked rather loudly, sort of flailing in his arms. It would have been quite an interesting sight to anybody outside, Jack carrying a flailing Sally.

She tried to get used to him carrying her, but she didn't let anybody carry her. The last time someone carried her, she couldn't walk because she was an infant. And it was different. It all was, being so close to someone. She'd feared it, feared it for so long. Her power made her feel that way. And then he burst into a fit of giggles and AJ knew it had to be all of the emotions overwhelming him, but at least they were good ones. And so she only laughed with him, because really, it just felt so good. Everything felt good right now. "Okay, I'll admit that was cheesy. Like romance novel cheesy, but I still like you." She looked around, having to remember her surroundings for a moment, before pointing in the direction of the dorm building.

"You've gotta stop laughing long enough to walk, Trav. Oh my god." And she was laughing again too and everything was just...bliss.

[Travis Morgan]

“I know!” he laughed, taking a step in the direction AJ had indicated. Travis then held his breath and gave a little hop to reposition AJ in his arms. She’d slipped a little because of his giggle-fit. “Okay,” he said, “okay. I got it.” He noticeably pressed his lips together again to suppress another laugh. “Just don’t… say anything.” The corner of his mouth twisted, but he walked determinedly toward the dorms.

Travis also kept his mouth shut while he walked, although he was running a rather loud internal dialogue. Any telepaths in the area would get a nice head-full of, okay don’t laugh. Don’t. Don’t do it. You’re serious. Verrrrry serious. Be cool. Just be cool and don’t… you know what? You’re not even gonna think the word. That’s how fuckin’ serious you are right now! It was working, at least. He was doing a pretty stellar job of walking and not slipping on snow, or running into anything. He got them inside without incident, and he noticed for the first time how cold it’d been outside.

The warm air in the dorm made his fingers and his nose sting, but he wasn’t really paying too much attention to that. There were stairs to be climbed, and the testosterone-driven part of his ego really wanted to carry AJ all the way up to his room without tripping on anything.

Travis might be naturally shy and humble, but he still wanted to impress her.

So up the stairs they went, Travis carrying AJ like she weighted nothing. He didn’t put her down until they were safely behind his bedroom door, at which point he kissed her again because it’d been entirely too long since the last one. And because the vibrating-giddiness was making him say really lame things, and he didn’t need another opportunity to say something.

[Amanda Joy "AJ" Lane]

"Okay," AJ told him, hoping he truly did have it. After all, they could both go tumbling to the ground if he lost it in another fit of giggles, but he kept his composure and carried her to the dorms. The warm air greeted her and she realized just how cold she'd actually been, although it hadn't been her concern, Travis had been. She was sure her noise had to be read and it wasn't as if her costume was the warmest. She was about to protest about how he didn't have to carry her up the stairs. That really, he didn't, but he did anyway and AJ clamped her mouth shut. She didn't want to ruin the moment anyway. She needed to just relax.

There were just so many thoughts buzzing through her head, so many things she was feeling. When they finally reached his room, he set her down and she regained he footing just in time for him to kiss her again, and she laughed a little against his lips. "I think I've caught your laughs," she told him, leaning forward to kiss him again after she'd spoken. The door was shut and she was completely alone with Travis. She'd been alone with him several times, once in his room with him and she'd thought about wanting to be with him, be with him more than she was, but her scars were so raw then and she'd broken down telling him about what made her scarred. But Travis made her feel confident, made her feel like she wasn't her power, that it wasn't all she was. And so she kissed him back eagerly.

[Travis Morgan]

"Heh," Travis let out a breathy chuckle when AJ started laughing next. God they were awkward. He knew they were awkward. If only he had a little green, they could just get buzzed and stop trying to hard. Stop thinking and just let it happen. Christ why was he so nervous?! He wasn't actually a virgin. Weren't the nerves supposed to go away once he knew what he was doing?

But he didn't know what he was doing. Not with AJ. Not with any girl, now that he thought about it. Was it different with girls? Oh god, he had no idea!

Travis tried really hard to internalize that small panic attack and just kiss her. Even though niw he was painfully aware of everything he was doing. Where his hands were on her hips. What his lips were doing. How he was still standing in the middle of his room with her when his bed was right there!

What if he was too rough with her? What if she freaked out after? What if he freaked out? What if this was a mistake-- No. No this felt right, or it had just moments ago outside. He was thinking too much. God, he needed to stop thinking! Why couldn't he just be cool for once in his life!?

"Um.." Travis dug his fingertips into her hips a little as he spoke. "I've never... been with a girl before," he murmured and felt butterflies rise in his stomach as the words came out, embarassed to even hint at how nervous he was. AJ was the one who had reason to be nervous, not him. He should be able to guide her through this. He should be the confident one right now.