A Series of Unfortunate Events

[Terrence Mathews]

Friday 1st October November

This is my first entry in this journal. I had been thinking of making a whole introduction page, but I'm the only who will be using and seeing this so there isn't much point to doing that. However, I will explain the purpose of this journal, for anyone, including possibly me in the future, that needs to know. This journal is for me to write in my bad experiences with the world in general. I write them down so I can look back on them in the future and learn from my misfortunes and hopefully act a bit more like a regular human being, instead of the painfully shy person that I happen to be at the moment.

So, I had quite a bad encounter today, and it definitely wasn't fun. I was out at the store, buying some milk and some other necessities, when I somehow ended up covering someone with the milk that I was planning on purchasing. I can't even recall how it happened properly; I guess my brain is subconsciously trying to block it out of the memories so I don't feel embarrassed every time I go to a shop from now on. As I recall it, one moment, I was happy picking out the type of milk I wanted, the quantity, checking that it was cold enough, all of the usual business, and then someone was stood in front of me drenched in the stuff! I had no idea what to do, to try and wipe it off, to buy them a carton as an apology, or anything, so do you know what I did? I dropped the bottle on the floor and ran out of the store. I just... left. I didn't help the poor guy, who seemed to be in a bit of a hurry, or apologize to him, or anything! I honestly hate myself for doing that. I wish I could reverse time and tell myself to suck it up, laugh it off, and help him out. I feel awful.

In other news, I'm glad that Halloween's over. So many scary decorations and costumes were around every corner, ready to jump out at me and give me the creeps! Well, there are still a lot of stores clearing out their Halloween junk, so I'm not free of the nightmares yet.

Maybe that was why I poured milk over the man in that store. He wasn't the best looking of creatures, mind you. I don't mean to be mean, honest! But... he wasn't.

Anyway, I have nothing else to say. Goodbye.

T. Mathews

[Terrence Mathews]

Wednesday 6th November

Hey. So, I just came away from a conversation a student of the Hammel Institute feeling a bit... embarrassed really. The girl had bright red hair and she seemed nice and all: friendly, polite, just a nice person. Ugh, nice is such a terrible adjective. Anyway, she wanted books on cellular regeneration, for some reason unknown to me, but I wasn't about to snoop into her business. However, I feel like I was being a bit too overenthusiastic about finding her books, and thus, I drove her away a bit, or something. I felt so... awkward when the didn't take up my offer for more books, I was practically climbing the bookcase to find them. So now, I'm sat at my desk writing about it. Like any sane person would. Well, sane enough to have the pen and journal thrown at them by their own brain. I honestly wonder what people think of that, I mean, my summoning could hurt someone quite badly. I wouldn't want that.

Oh, and I'm eating my BLT (bacon, lettuce and tomato) sandwich. That's helping a bit, I guess. I read somewhere that people sometimes eat their feelings, so that could be why. I hope I don't get addicted. There isn't enough bacon in the world for me to get addicted to eating sandwiches.

I hope this doesn't become a regular thing. Me looking like an idiot in front of the students. It'll get around and no-one'll want to talk to me. I guess that's kinda alright, being... the way I am and all. And I would still have Felix. But no introvert could go on forever without any human contact.

I think that's about it. Might wri

[Terrence Mathews]

Just talked to the girl again. She just let herself into my office and began writing on a piece of paper in front of me, whilst I was writing in my journal. Of course, I was startled at first, and slammed my journal shut and pushed it away, but as we spoke, I got more comfortable with her, and definitely a lot happier. We talked about why she needed the book, and our "issues", (mine being my timidness, her's being her addiction to chocolate; who would've known you could be addicted to that overload of suger?) overall, it was a nice conversation.

See, this is why I really wish I was born with more confidence, or something. Because it obviously seems to make everything better. If confidence grew on trees, I would own a tree, whereas other people would own orchards. I live in a cruel world, with a severe lack of confidence pills and self esteem energy drink.

Nonetheless, I think that's all for today. If anything terrible happens later, I'll inform you of my increasing woes. Until then, journal.

T. Mathews

[Terrence Mathews]

Saturday 16th November

I don't know how to feel about a certain situation that occurred today, but I mainly feel proud for some reason. This is what happened:

As all catastrophes begin, it was a calm day. Gentle breeze, friendly face, everything was nice. I wen to the public library in Pilot Ridge and somebody walked up to me whilst I was reading a book saying: "Hey! Terrence!" And I looked up and he was all like, "Is that really you, Tiny Terrence? When'd you grow these beasties?" and he poked my leg and a sat there in complete confusion. My first emotion, of course, was annoyance, then anger. He was obviously one of the bullies that I'd had to deal with back in the day, but I thought they were long behind me! He wasn't one of those who had gone to Hammel, either! He was from the first school he had attended; Hammel was the third. Obviously, I haven't't made social contact with the... buffoon that had stood before me, not before then, and not now either. I've made sure that people like that idiot couldn't continue to taunt me outside of my education at the time, and afterwards, it seemed, but there he was!

I think he mentioned that he was going to the nearby University? That didn't make sense... why would they accept people like... you know what, I even found out his name and everything and I can't remember it even now. Anyway, I remember my bullies were all quite dim-witted and unintelligent, it's amazing that the University accepted even one of them. Actually, it's a miracle they ever got out of high school! Now, I'm being mean. I'll stop.

I think I did a good job at dealing with him. He tried to be all chummy and friendly and I just sat there, looked at him and said the occasional comment like "That's nice." but I honestly didn't care about his life. At one point he realized my indifference and even bothered asking "Somethin' wrong?" and I replied with the BEST THING I'VE SAID IN AGES. "I'm alright, just a bit busy not listening." And I saw him get angry and he shouted at me for being rude, and on the inside I was so scared; I could practically see myself shivering in fear, but I tried to show nothing on the outside. Someone ushered him out after a few seconds for being too loud, and I continued to sit and read with a concentrated look on my face, but inwardly, I was jumping for joy!

OK, if I ever do see him again, I might have screwed myself over, but come on. You have to pat me on the back for that one.

Anyway, au revoir! (Oh, how I love the French.)

T. Mathews

[Terrence Mathews]

Friday 13th December

UGH. SO STUPID.

I promised some of the faculty at Hammel that I would bake them something, because it's Christmas, and I forgot (somehow) to actually make the cookies. So I was rushing around making them this morning, and obviously, something was out of place, so that when I made the cookies, they were extremely salty instead of sweet. I didn't even taste them to check they were okay beforehand, I just went to the school.

I met Thomas and I offered him one of them, and obviously, his reaction was one of clear displeasure. Then I did the most intelligent thing in the world, I tried one myself. After declaring them as horrific, I threw the rest of them away. I think it was better that happening over offering them to the rest of the staff and getting hated by most of them. Thomas was nice about it, but I don't know, this is why I hate it when things aren't in the right place, it just ruins everything.

I think I dealt with it quite well, I joked about it and smiled and everything but it was still awful.

Oh well.

Christmas soon. I'm gonna visit my parents and we're all gonna have a family Christmas, and as every year, I'll sit down, accept presents, give presents and eat food. I might attempt conversations, but they usually end up going downhill. Holidays are so difficult.

Never mind, I'll see you in the new year.

T. Mathews

[Terrence Mathews]

Friday 7th February

Another year, another reminder that I am socially incapable.

I haven't written in a while... Christmas wasn't as terrible as I thought it would be. I got quite a lot of books, a few socks (seems to be a family tradition now) and a mug that says something funny about reading and libraries. I might take a photo of it and slot it in here so I can see it when I look back on my memories and cringe.

I haven't got much to say. I still don't have a girlfriend or anything, but I don't think that's even the first of my problems. Valentine's Day will come and go and I'll probably spend it reading a book and listening to music.

The same as every year.

Maybe I need to sort out my priorities. We'll see if anything changes when next year rolls around... but I won't dwell on the possibilities of the future, I have some sorting to do.

See you whenever.

T. Mathews