Take Me Instead! (Oriel)

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Oriel nodded, amused and excited over potentially getting a very delightful sponge bath and wipe down by his lovely Phoenix. His Phoenix, rubbing him all over, he giggled at the thought. Actually, there was a lot of giggling going on today, especially when Phoenix kept attacking him like this, with the flurries of kisses that tickled, and the words, and the neat ideas; it was no wonder that Oriel couldn't help but think of his Phoenix 24/7 even when he wasn't in the room. He was just too wonderful to ignore for long.

"You won't have to do that," Oriel assured Phoenix with a small, relaxed smile. "Besides, do you remember what happened last time you dusted him?" Because that had been fun.

Oriel did want to keep Erik's friendship. Even if it was probably a bad idea, Oriel had issues with letting go of people. What's worse was that Oriel blamed himself entirely for everything that happened. If Oriel hadn't gone after Benny, then Kodi wouldn't have gone after Phoenix, then Oriel wouldn't have beaten up Kodi, then Erik wouldn't have blamed Phoenix, and then Oriel wouldn't have exploded at Erik….. It was just a huge cascade of events that all started with Oriel doing something stupid.

He wasn't sure if it was because he just couldn't stop them or because Phoenix had given him permission to, but the tears kept coming, one after the other, even after Oriel wiped them away, they kept falling. "I miss him….." he mumbled with a slight grain to his voice, "I miss Kodah….." He let the name drop from his lips for the first time in 4 months. Oriel wasn't even sure if Phoenix recognized the name.

Oriel's eyes would have retained a redness to them even while he spoke of happier things. Like dates. And enchanting stares. And head scritches. And more kisses….so many kisses. Oriel could kiss him all day, everyday, forever. His eyes fluttered shut as Phoenix blessed him with the deepest, longest kiss Phoenix had ever given him. He never wanted it to end. Not even the sound of the nurse loudly clearing her throat at the foot of the bed was enough to break Oriel from this delicious dream.

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Phoenix was feeling a lot better himself, for now. He was taking in all he could to keep in his head for when he would eventually be forced to leave, capturing Oriel's touches and words in his mind to play back as he tried to fall asleep tonight. Although, knowing him, he'd probably end up being too worried about how the boy was doing when he wasn't around to be able to focus on the lightheartedness now.... He needed to not think about this, not now.

He huffed a bit, tensing up before he relaxed again. "Well, it'd keep him distracted from bitin' anyone, at least," he mumbled, hoping that would be true. He didn't like to think about that morning - sure, everyone had been fine in the end, but it had been his fault because of a stupid panic attack.

It was funny how events had cascaded one after the other like that. In the long run, Phoenix really hadn't done anything wrong himself - had just been in the wrong places at the wrong times. But he still blamed Erik and Kodi far more than he would ever blame Oriel, even if it really was his doing that started it. They all had problems that just clashed with each other's and turned into a big, awful mess that Phen hoped was almost over.

Seeing that Oriel wasn't done with his tears, Phoenix looked around for some tissues, grabbing a box and tugging out a couple, beginning to offer them to Oriel before he ended up just beginning to dab at them himself, feeling his own eyes prick and begin to trickle just from seeing his lover cry. "I'm sorry, baby," he murmured softly, leaning down to press his lips against the boy's damp, salty cheek. He recalled Kodah, but didn't know how close he and Oriel had been. He didn't feel any jealousy about Oriel crying over the boy; he just wished he could do something to help. "It's gonna be okay. I'm here for you for everythin'. Okay?" He didn't know if that would help at all, but it was all he could offer.

And kisses. Kisses he could offer too. Phen's fingers tangled into Oriel's hair as the gesture went on, his other hand coming up to rest against Oriel's chest and rub circles over it. They were making up for the lost time over the past two days that they had been separated, and Phen would have just kept going on until they both ran too out of breath to continue. He was already starting to reach his limit, tongue sliding effortlessly over the familiarity of Oriel's own, when the nurse cleared her throat behind him. Phen, normally one to jump at the realization that someone was watching their PDA, slowly pulled back, giving the boy a last, sweet peck on the lips, his gaze heavy and loving as he stared down at his Oriel. His cheeks were flushed and his breath deep and strained as he finally looked up at the woman, his face getting a bit meek.

"Um, actually, while you're here," he mumbled, fingers lacing together with Oriel's again. "Would it be alright if I, uh, got a washcloth or somethin' t'help Sq- Oriel get clean?" That wasn't too big of an offer, right? The woman seemed to consider for a moment before apparently thinking Phen was alright and, after doing whatever she had come in to do, left for a moment before returning with the requested item. "Thank you," he breathed, bowing slightly as he darted over to the bathroom and dampened the cloth. With an affectionate smile in place he began gently running the washcloth over Oriel's wet cheeks, reaching every crevice behind his ears and down his neck, taking a break to re-dampen the cloth before starting down the collar of his gown, subtly groping Oriel's pecs in the process. "Does this feel alright?" he murmured.

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Oriel wasn't sure if there was anything or anyone who could convince him that it this whole situation wasn't his fault. Oriel had made it a bad habit, or maybe he was just conditioned to think so, from being constantly blamed by adults for anything that went wrong as he was shuffled from one house to the next filled with people who didn't want anything to do with him in the first place. Even when he logically thought it through differently, that guilt was still there, it came no matter what. And if he was going to be blamed anyway, then what was the point of trying to prove otherwise.


Of course, in this case, even Oriel's logical mind reasoned that it was all his own fault. Because despite his continuous efforts, sometimes the lid he put on is emotions was just too small and weak to hold back the constantly building pressure until he finally exploded. Granted, Erik and Kodi had kind of provoked him but….Oriel still had to answer for his own actions. He could have done something different.


As Oriel tried, and failed, to keep the tears from falling, he took comfort in Phoenix's words, or as much as he could. It felt great having someone care about him so much, someone he actually felt comfortable exposing this part himself to, someone who wasn't going to judge him for being too emotional, especially over something that happened months ago that only resurfaced because of paralleling events. "He was….my best friend, you know?" Oriel continued speaking while the ache started to build in his chest. "We….we went through a lot together, back in New York. I was….I was so happy when I found out he came here. Then I just fucked it up….just like I did…this…time….." His eyes scrunched shut as he relived the memory and he released a loud sob from his throat. Oriel's grip on Phoenix's hand only grew tighter. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "That was…the real reason…I was crying that day....actually no, there were a lot of reason, but that was a big one...not just because of Madison, but because Kodah….." He couldn't finish the sentence, but it was probably obvious what had happened.

Oriel felt so pathetic, letting himself get so worked up over these things. Phen must think so...


All Oriel wanted to do right now was drown himself in Phoenix's kisses, though. They were there, they were real, they communicated just how much Phoenix loved him, and that alone was enough to bring his mood up. So much, in fact, that he leaned in wanting for more when Phen pulled back at the sudden appearance of an audience. "Phoeniiix," he whined, obviously not happy with losing his lover's lips. He pouted as Phoenix requested things from the nurse, though giggled when Phoenix almost called him Squishy. He loved that stupid little name!

His eyes closed as Phoenix started dragging the washcloth gently over Oriel's skin, taking in the warm that quickly cooled in the ambient air. "Yeah...." he said, a small smile pasted on his face. "You going to wash every nook and cranny for me?"

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It hurt Phoenix more than Oriel probably realized to see him crying like he was. His heart ached in sympathy as he watched the tears slide down his face, just holding his hand and hoping his presence and touch was enough to ease his mind at least a little. Of course he would never judge Oriel - even if he wasn't an emotional mess himself, he could understand the pain of losing someone you thought you would have around for a long time. "I didn't know you had known him for so long," he murmured softly, brushing strands of hair from his lover's forehead. "I'm sure that must have been really, really hard, baby. I would do anythin' I could t'make it hurt less." He wiped at his own moist eyes, leaning down to allow Oriel to nuzzle himself against Phen's bony chest if he wanted to. "Don't ever worry about tellin' me this kind of stuff, okay? he said softly. "I don't care if y'need t'cry or scream or just want someone t'talk to. I'll be here."

A tiny idea sparked in his mind, and a faint smile came to his face. "Hey... Maybe you and me, we should go to New York sometime, make... Make some good memories there." He didn't know if the idea appealed to Oriel or not, but he wanted to know more about where Oriel grew up, if he was willing to show him.

He smiled as Oriel leaned into him after he finally pulled back, teasing his lips just a few inches from his boyfriend's as he waited for the requested item. "Gotta let me catch my breath, babe," he hummed, chest rising as he sucked in a deep one. "Can't hold it as long as I used to." He didn't directly mention his drug usage being the cause, but it was obvious that's what it was, and what also brought a slight rasp to his throat on some occasions. Once the washcloth was in his hand and the nurse gone, he gave in and pressed several shorter, louder kisses against Oriel's lips. "There's more where those came from," he winked as he got to work washing his lover.

His hands trailed further down Oriel's gown, under the crease of his arms and against his ribs, though by that point he couldn't reach much further. "Oh yes," he smirked, retreating his arm back and going to rinse the washcloth one more time. "Every single one." He scooted down to Oriel's feet and, keeping his gaze averted from the injured limb, began running the towel in between Oriel's toes on his unhurt leg, tickling the bottom of his foot in the process. Grinning, he worked his way up the leg until he reached his hips and got to work on his firm stomach. Once that was done, he made sure there was no sign of anyone coming around as he finished up as promised and tossed the cloth when he was done.

"Feel better?" he asked, sliding back up by Oriel's side and giving his boy another sweet peck on the lips.

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Oriel hated crying. He always saw it as just a lame cry for attention, or at least that's what he was told by other people when he was a kid. And his experience showed that people didn't respond to it half as much as one would expect, or it was met with contempt. Since he saw it as a pathetic attention grabber, he also saw no point in doing it when he was alone, it wasn't like anyone was going to see it and come rescue him from his sorrows. That's why he didn't do it often.

Though that didn't mean he didn't feel like it often. And no matter his personal opinions on the act itself, sometimes it just needed to be done, and he was thankful again that he had Phoenix around to care about him.

He gripped onto Phen's shirt as the other boy held him close. "I think…that's why I came to you." Instead of going to Lux or Pen or just to agonize alone in his own bedroom. "I wanted him to see…," and then maybe Kodah would have….. "God, I'm pathetic…." he chuckled to himself, though it was anything but happy.

However, the idea of going back home, to New York, was surprisingly a happy one. His eyes brightened up at the mention and he nodded. "Ok..." he said kind of dumbly, with the inklings of a smile provoking his lips.

The wipe-down was pleasing, hypnotic even. Like getting a massage, he was relaxing under Phoenix's caresses enough to the point of wanting to fall asleep. It felt nice, comforting, and strangely not sexual at all. Oriel opened an eye when Phoenix had finished and grinned, barely giving himself time to kiss the boy back. "Yeah," he said softly. His smile was relaxed as he kept his eyes on the boy. "…I like youu," he confessed. "You make me smile."

His eyes twitched over to the remaining danish in the box on the side table. Oriel reached into it and retracted the treat. "Share this with me?" he asked, holding up the pastry.

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Phoenix himself seemed to be turning into a sobby mess lately. Back before he knocked his addiction, he was so apathetic and uncaring that it rarely happened. Apparently now he was making up for all the lost time - the last two days had been a waterfall of tears. And would likely only continue to be as he worried and whined over Oriel when he couldn't be with him.

It was going to be a long week.

Oh, right. Kodah had been his roommate. Phen had always been so out of it he had hardly noticed who he roomed with. "Shhh," he said softly, running his hand over the back of Oriel's head. "You're not pathetic, sweetheart. I probably would have done the same if I were you." Although he was a pretty pathetic individual himself... Whatever.

Oriel's positive reaction to the idea of a trip sent a warm feeling through Phen's stomach. "We'll get there, somehow," he promised. "Once I... Get a job... I'll start savin' up. An' we'll go there an' you can show me everythin'." He pecked the boy on the nose. "Okay?" Jobs, jobs, jobs... Would anyone even hire him?

Phen could tell Oriel was getting a bit sleepy as he wiped him down, and even began to hum softly as he did it. It was sort of relaxing for him too, being able to actually do something to take care of his lover rather than just sitting helplessly. It wasn't a lot, but it was something. He chuckled quietly at Oriel's 'admission'. "I like you quite a lot myself," he teased, tweaking Oriel's nose. He was adorableee. "I'm glad I can."

He settled back as Oriel nabbed the last danish, smiling softly. "Sure," he replied, stomach grumbling as he took the offered portion and nibbled quietly on it. It might be the only food he managed to get down today. "Do you wanna sleep?" he murmured. "I'll stay here. As long as they let me." Hell, he might fall asleep too; he was still exhausted, and now his mind was at least a little calmer after spending so much sweet time with his boyfriend.

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Oriel really was pathetic. He couldn't believe some of the things he did sometimes just to get attention, especially from those he cared for. He'd gotten better over the past few months, since he and Phoenix had gotten together(before they became official even), but obviously that hadn't been enough to keep Oriel from making stupid decisions and acting in a destructive manner. "I don't want to do this anymore…" he mumbled, taking in a shaky breath. He couldn't tell if he was calming down or not, but he at least was enjoying the doting that his Phoenix was showering him with. "I just…don't know how to make it stop…"

And even if he did, it wasn't going to happen overnight.

Oriel snickered through his sobs that were finally starting to calm down. "You? Get a job?" He shouldn't be laughing, but it was just so unreal. The idea that Phen would have a job. For either of them, it just seemed so outrageous. "I hope so."

Oriel's brain was definitely slowing down and the wipe-down wasn't helping. He was going to need to pass out soon. "Thanks," he mumbled out. Oriel wondered if he had enough stamina to finish the danish. He munched on it quietly, fluttering his lids up to look at his love through groggy, blurry eyes. "Yeah, sorry. After you came all they way out here…" Oriel set the danish down. He wasn't going to be able to finish it, but it would still be there later. He rested his head back against the pillow again and kept his eyes on his lover, his boyfriend, until his heavy lids finally pulled themselves shut.

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Phoenix continued to hold and rub Oriel comfortingly, wishing there was something more he could do. He wasn't the best at relationships himself, so he didn't know if he should even try to offer advice. "You're doin' a lot better," he encouraged. "The fact you want to apologize to Erik says a lot." Even if Phen didn't approve, he would support Oriel wholly if that's what he wanted. Maybe Phen could introduce his boyfriend to some of the friends he'd been making himself.... At least most of them weren't explosive like Erik was.

He pouted at Oriel's snickers. "Gotta get one eventually," he mumbled. "I don't... Wanna graduate an' have nowhere t'go." If anything, he wanted to be able to provide for Oriel too. Both of them, where they were now, would end up back on the streets if they didn't do something.

Still, he shook his head and smiled at Oriel's apology. "Don't worry about it. I want you t'rest up an' heal so you can come back as soon as possible." Phen rested his head on his lover's chest after he finished his half of the pastry, feeling rather drowsy himself. "An' I'll come back however much I can. Even if all you're doin' is sleepin'." He watched Oriel's fluttering eyes and smoothed his hand over his mussy hair until his lids shut completely, his breathing evening out as sleep took over. Phen just laid there and watched him for a while, letting the soft sound of his breath and the comforting beat of his heart lull him into his own half-conscious state.