You have the right to remain sexy

[Roger Vandelay]

'Oh Jesus Christ, I am not that lucky.'

This was the exact thought Roger Vandelay had when he walked into training a few months ago to find he had a new trainer. As a sixteen-year-old boy, he was very much aware of his sexual preferences, and while he'd yet to act on any instincts, he certainly knew what he liked, and he certainly liked the look of his new trainers. Tall, tan, suave... the perfect man, really, and best of all, there were two of them. He had been training with a vengeance since arriving at the institute - the possibility of being able to transform into anybody he wanted was simply too compelling not to dive in head-first - and he had improved quite a bit over the past year, so he was sure he could impress his new trainer with both his abilities and his sex appeal. Because nobody was immune to Roger's sex appeal, were they?

It was now a few months later, and training had been going well, though the other aspect of his plan certainly wasn't. But that was okay, as there were plenty of man-fish in the sea that was the Hammel Institute. Still, trainers were forbidden fruit, which was yummy, so he never stopped hoping. But today, he had one particular purpose, and that was to play a little prank on his trainer (he kept going back and forth between referring to them as one and two people in his mind, as he still didn't really understand how gestalt pairs worked). If it went as planned, it would be pretty funny and would also show off his improvement over the past few months.

Walking into the training building, Roger was decked out in a police officer's uniform, having shape-shifted into a rather hefty, middle-aged African American woman. He was Officer Sherry Sherman, and he was ready to pull a fast one on the Thanos Twins with this new character of his.

Opening the door to his usual training room about a minute and a half after training was supposed to begin - enough time, he hoped, for his trainer to start wondering why he wasn't on-time - and struck a strong pose in the doorway. "Are you the trainers for a Mister Roger Vandelay?" She asked in a deep voice.

[Dio & Evan Thanos]

Roger Vandelay was an...interesting character and a very dedicated student from what Dionysius and Evander had seen thus far. Just a few months ago he had been assigned to the pair because it was thought that they would be able to train him better than the previous trainer had. Mr. Thanos had no complaints or objections as he liked abilities that weren't all mental and complicated. Physical abilities were probably the ones he prefered the most because though his ability was mainly mental, it held a lot of physical as well.

Dio and Evan had been throwing himself into helping out with the support group for gestalts, supervising for Orion and Naomi because they had asked him to do so. Among trying to help Temperance and Charity with their oneness, he also dedicated a good portion of his time with Roger, helping him keep form for longer, helping him come up with new things to try, different body shapes and such. It was a very interesting power to work with and he happened to like training Roger very much. Dedicated students were always the easiest.

The pair was just about to leave his office, done for the day from what he thought at least, but before he could stand there was a busty chocolate woman in his doorway. Dio and Evan stood gracefully, unimposed by her presence and with his typically monotonous expression in place, he appraised the woman with a gentle smile as a greeting, but it slipped when she addressed him with a question about Roger.

Dionysius looked at Evander as Evander looked at Dionysius and their brows furrowed in unison, "I am," They answered as one and Evan ran his hand through his hair as Dio spoke again. "Has he done something wrong, ma'am?"

[Roger Vandelay]

The twins didn't seem particularly concerned, but Roger had long since learned that his new trainer often didn't display very much emotion; the slight furrowing of the brow was enough to let Roger know that, at the very least, they had taken the bait. Which was just what he wanted: unsuspecting hotties were, after all, the best kind of hotties.

"Mister Thamos, I'm afraid a better question to ask would be what hasn't he done wrong," Officer Sherman replied, shifting her weight from one large hip to the next. "We got him on grand theft auto, vandalism, breaking and entering, larceny, arsony, selling puppies by the side of the road - it's a law, I looked it up - and murd- no, wait, that's it." Murder was a little much for this prank. As it was, he wasn't sure whether he'd get in trouble for trying to dupe his trainer. They had a sense of humor, right?

Eh...

"Name's Officer Sherry Sherman, by the way," she said, "of the Pilot Ridge PD." She went thumbing through her chest pocket for her badge before realizing you don't have a badge, you idiot. "I left my badge at home, forget about it. Can you vouch for the character of your student?"

[Dio & Evan Thanos]

Dio and Evan exchanged another glance and they frowned. What had the young shifter gotten himself into? And why were they the ones being informed of it? After all, it wasn't his job to watch over every student he trained, though he often tried to. This boy was going to be getting quite the stern talking to from the Thanos twins, and they'd be sure to do countless training exercises that Roger wouldn't be so fond of for punishment...unless it was something he had to take to the school board in which, they'd punish him in their own way and Dio and Evan wouldn't have to worry about it.

Tempting.

As the lovely woman (not their type, but lovely enough) listed all of the things that Roger had been charged for, the trainer pinched the bridge of his nose simultaneously and sighed. Well, looked like the school board would be hearing about this. Perhaps he should go to Sean first and discuss what Roger had done and what the initiative behind it was. Roger didn't seem quite like that type of student.

The fact that she didn't have a badge posed a bit of a suspicious thought in the mind of the twins and they again passed discomfort through the bond. It wasn't often that officers went without a badge. In fact, they needed it for their credibility. He rubbed his jaw line and sighed, "I can honestly say I'm shocked by these charges. Roger is one of my more dedicated students, not quite the type that would go off and do something so...juvenile. Do you have him in custody?" Because if so, there needed to be words passed between them.

[Roger Vandelay]

Inwardly, Roger blushed a bit as his trainer called him dedicated. He worked hard on his power, but he hadn't realized that the Thamos twins had taken notice of his commitment. He figured they thought he was just some kind of class clown for how often he joked around and occasionally slipped into flirtation mode (though, really, flirting with two older guys was somewhat intimidating, particularly two guys so emotionally detached). He had to stay in character, though, so he kept the stern look on his face.

"You could say that," Officer Sherman replied when the twins asked whether Roger was in custody. "Yeah, I have him in custody." She moved over, slowly, to one of the chairs, watching the twins for any sign of a reaction as she did so. With great effort, she lifted one gigantic leg and set her booted foot down on the chair, striking what would be a sexy pose if it wasn't being struck by, well... But that was the humor, to Roger, of what he was doing, and it was why he had chosen this form in the first place. Comedy is, after all, the absurd.

She lifted a pudgy hand up to her collar, moving the fabric between her thumb and forefinger delicately. "And if you want to see him again," she continued, "I might need a thing or two from you first." With that, she ripped off the first button of her shirt. How Roger managed to keep a straight face as he did this, he had no idea - he was a better actor than he gave himself credit for.

[Dio & Evan Thanos]

Dio and Evan really weren't as emotionally detached as people might think. He could crack a joke every now and then, make an observation about someone's appearance, offer love to his mother who still found it difficult to believe that her two sons were now one. Honestly, he just didn't express his emotions through his face, instead doing it through action and words every now and then. But, Dio and Evan were also oblivious to many things, a student's flirtations for example.

The trainer's eyebrow quirked as she moved slowly to one of the chairs. His eyes bulged from his sockets as she continued with her movements and he just stood there in shock. Was this really happening? What in the bloody hell was this nonsense? Oh god. He had to look away, Dio looked at Evander and they both just cringed through the bond and tried to do anything else but watch this.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave or I will report you to the chief of your department. I want my student without all of your shenanigans," He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck, looking quite flustered.

[Roger Vandelay]

Roger could tell, as he continued his pseudo-seduction, that his trainer was becoming quite frazzled by these developments. Surely they were used to getting hit on by unwanted suitors, no? Evidently not, as the two looked like they had just seen a ghost as Roger, disguised as Officer Sherman, began undoing her shirt.

But this joke was starting to wear out its welcome, as there really wasn't much further for Roger to go before it got into genuinely creepy territory. He wanted to trick his trainer, but he didn't want to get into any real trouble. So this was probably a worthy end point.

"You want your student?" She asked, repeating the man's interesting phrasing as she put her foot back down on the floor. "You want him, that right?" She took a few steps closer to Mr. Thanos, until she was eye-to-eye with them - or, as much as she could be given there were two of them and she was quite a bit shorter. "The question is, are you man enough for him?" She quirked a pencil-thin eyebrow on her large, pudgy face. "Cuz he's definitely woman enough for you."

After letting that sink in, he tiled his head back and laughed, his own voice evident in his cackling. "You should've seen the look on your faces," he said as the countenance of Officer Sherry Sherman morphed into that of Roger Vandelay. "I thought you were gonna puke or something. I mean, what's the matter, not into the bigger ladies?" The police officer outfit was rather large on him in his regular form, sort of like a child wearing his father's suit.

[Dio & Evan Thanos]

The trainer's expression faded from shock to an unamused frown as Roger revealed that it had been him the whole time. Dio and Evander folded their arms across their chests and scolded whom they thought had been one of their best students. Despite the expression he wore, he did find the whole stunt rather funny. After all, he'd have been a hypocrite for not enjoying a good prank on a teacher. It had been the twins' goal to pick on every teacher they'd had back in high school all in different ways.

Still, it had been inappropriate and he had to handle it as such.

"Roger, that was highly inappropriate. Though a fairly decent display of your ability, trickery will not score you points with your trainer," He said solemnly with a shake of his head. "I'm glad that you are practicing and getting better, but you can't use this ability like that. It's not right," They glanced at each other and grimaced. He could only imagine the kind of nonsense that Roger pulled around school daily. And if he kept it up, surely it would come back to haunt the trainer.

Dio and Evan sighed again, "You have two options here, choose whatever you'd like. You either get detention, serving it with all of the other troublemakers in school. Or, you can have detention our way, by sticking around and helping with filing paperwork. In which you will be supervised as to not go looking through things that you shouldn't be. Or perhaps you'll straighten up the training room every day this week after one of our more messy sessions." He wished he could use his gestalt pair punishment on Roger, but the last thing he needed to do was practice more.