If You See Him Run Away! (Phoenix)

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How long had it been since that night? Definitely more than a week. More than two weeks. Three?

Three weeks since Junpei shared that awkward night with Phoenix that he'd been trying to forget. Junpei had buried himself in his homework and studies, resulting in him actually passing his end-of-term exams, but now that school was out for the winter, Junpei was at a loss of how to further distract himself.

He'd spent most of his free time with Yue, trying to avoid his friend(former friend?) Phoenix, but even then Junpei couldn't get the subject of kissing out of his mind and would have to leave the room every so often to keep himself under control. He might even have started to seem distant towards his girlfriend.

Even right now, Junpei should probably be upstairs helping Yue with something(though her leg was definitely starting to get better) and talking with her about things, like how spring tryouts were just around the corner and she was going to be running again in no time. You know, giving her encouragement so she didn't get so down and worried about being in shape enough when the time finally came....

Junpei had been staring off into space a lot, and today was no different as he sat on the couch situated on the first floor of the dorms. If he'd been thinking, Junpei would have realized that this was not the best place to hide out and away from the people he was trying to avoid, but Junpei wasn't often known for doing things that were smart. Considerate maybe. Gentlemanly definitely. Genuine was definitely up there. But not always smart.

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That awkward night had been on Phoenix's mind quite a bit too, though probably not as much as Junpei's. It'd bothered him a lot more before he told Oriel, but after he did and saw his boyfriend's reaction to it, he felt relieved. He'd been afraid that Oriel would respond the way he had with Chester, but he'd been very wrong.

However, there was still the issue that he hadn't actually spoken with Jun since the incident, and that weighed on his mind more than anything. He really missed his friend - Junpei had probably been the closest one he had, besides Oriel, and Erik (before the whole fight went down - Phen was still mad at the southern boy for biting Oriel, too). What had happened between Phen and Oriel had been just a silly mistake, and Phoenix was far more upset with the fact that they had stopped talking than he was with the kiss itself.

He'd been at the library checking out a book on dragonflies; now that school was out for break he actually had time to read, and it seemed like an interesting subject, especially since he sort of wanted to learn more about his wings, maybe. He was just heading back up to Oriel's room when he caught sight of that familiar face. Phen stopped in his tracks, lips slightly parted, staring at Junpei. He didn't know if the other boy had seen him yet, but in that moment he made a split-second decision that he was tired of avoiding his friend.

Swallowing hard, he hobbled over to the couch that Jun was sitting on and sat beside him, making sure to keep a comfortable distance between them as he gazed anxiously at the boy. "J-Junpei?" he stammered, setting his crutches against the floor and keeping his wings carefully poised behind him. "I-I've been meaning t'talk t'you, I..." What could he say? Even now, it was very hard to keep his gaze from dropping down to those lips he had kissed. "I'm so s-sorry for what happened." He flushed and looked away. "I... I miss hangin' out with you."

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Kissing, kissing…

Nope, Junpei needed to think of something else. And staring blankly at the wall was clearly the solution. Actually, he wasn't even sure what he was thinking about anymore. His mind was about a blank as the wall he was staring at, about as blank as the face he was staring with. He wasn't completely cognizant of his surroundings so when someone sat down next to him, he didn't even notice until the person spoke.

His head snapped slightly to the side to look Phen in the eye. Junpei leaned forward as if he was about to stand and dart away but then just leaned back into the cushions with a defeated sigh. "I miss Phoenix too." Junpei really did, he had only a handful of people in the school that he felt completely comfortable talking with, even if they did have overbearing boyfriends that would steal his lunch money. "…I am sorry." He apologized as well. "I was very scared for what I did." At least his English had gotten better in the weeks he spent cramming while trying to avoid his dear friend.

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Phoenix winced at Jun's initial reaction to him sitting down next to him, half-raising his hands to... What? Keep Junpei pinned down so he wouldn't leave before he could get his apology out? Try to keep him calm? Phen wasn't sure. But he was relieved when Junpei stayed put, and relaxed against the couch, grimacing as one of his wings bumped the back of the seat. His features went soft as Jun said he missed him too, and he leaned towards his friend, hoping this was all going to work out. It had to!

"Don't apologize, please," he said quietly, hesitating before he reached down and took Jun's fingers lightly in his own. "And don't be scared. I was never mad, or hurt, or any of those things, okay?" He paused, adding,"I told Oriel about it, and he thought... Well, he thought it was funny." He smiled for a moment before sobering again. "So you don't need t'worry about me or him, okay?"

Phen didn't know what else to say, so he looked down, trying to work his slow brain. "For what it's worth... It was a nice kiss," he mumbled, cheeks flushing. He smiled a bit again, and peeked up. "Speakin' of.... Have you kissed your girl yet?" Had he told Yue about the kiss? Phen was almost afraid to ask, wondering if he should be worried about a tiny terror appearing at his bedside in the middle of the night.

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Junpei felt even worse for avoiding Phoenix after hearing about his injury. He wasn't even sure how it happened, but people definitely had their own ideas about it, even Junpei had heard the rumors. Junpei looked at Phen's wings then down at his leg, the empathy showing clearly on his face.

Even if he wasn't upset about the kiss, Junpei definitely felt like he needed to apologize anyway, for running away and keeping away for so long. "I am still sorry. For running." He should have talked to him earlier.

Junpei listened to the rest of what Phoenix had to say and then smiled. So Oriel thought he was funny. He was probably counting the many ways he wanted to kill the Japanese boy. "I think you lie. You tell Orio, I am thinking you are instead very mad and want me to be hit." Junpei smiled again, looking over meekly at Phoenix to let him know he was joking. If Phoenix said it was alright, then Junpei would believe him.

"For what it's worth... It was a nice kiss."

Yeah, Junpei didn't know how to respond to that, but his cheeks did redden as expected.

He shook his head. "No. I have not." He kept thinking about it, but…the moment just hadn't come up. And he was so busy with exams and studying. And… "I am afraid that Yue-chan will become angry." And he especially hadn't told Yue about the kiss between himself and Phoenix. Junpei sighed.

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Phoenix noticed Junpei looking at his broken limbs and looked meekly away, unsure if the other boy knew what had happened. "I fell on some ice," he offered as way of an explanation, shifting his wings a bit self-consciously. "It... It wasn't Oriel, like some people think." He'd heard the rumors too. People had actually asked him about it, obviously concerned. Phen had laughed; he knew Oriel would never hurt him outside of their romps.

He fell back into the original topic, though, and looked down, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's okay... I didn't do a very good job of tryin' t'talk to you either..." he mumbled. "So... I'm sorry for that, too." This had gone on for too long, in his opinion.

As Junpei retorted to his reassurances, Phoenix blinked, about to reply that of course he wouldn't d that, but then he saw the smile Jun sent his way and realized he was kidding. He giggled lightly. "He won't hit you," he promised. "If he so much as threatens you... Well, he'll be kiddin'. But let me know, an' I'll talk t'him." He wasn't sure if Oriel would tease Junpei just for the sake of it; Phen wouldn't be surprised.

When the conversation turned to Junpei's own partner, Phen frowned, his lower lip jutting out in a small pout. "You need t'do it!" he encouraged. "She might be waitin' for you t'make the first move, an' she'll never know if you want to or not!" At the mention of Yue being angry, Phen thought for a moment, then shook his head. "There's no reason for her t'be angry," he told Junpei. "You've been together for too long for her not to expect a kiss." He offered a supportive smile. "Hell, by the time Oriel and I'd been seein' each other for that long, we'd..." He didn't know how many times they'd fucked. But then again, their relationship was much different than Junpei's. "Anyway, I'd already be thinkin'... About sex, if I were you." He didn't want to pressure either of them into anything they didn't want to do, but... Well, it was Phen's opinion.

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Yes, those rumors that Oriel had beaten up his own boyfriend and broken his leg were the exact rumors that Junpei had heard, and while the boy wasn't one to go blindly believing rumors, considering the fights Oriel had been in lately, Junpei was half-inclined to think it might be true. It was plausible, at least. But it Phoenix said it wasn't, then Junpei could breath easier. "That is good," he said, nodding his head.

At Phoenix's apology, however, Junpei smiled. They were both scared, it seemed. Or if not scared, they were both nervous. Unsure of how to approach. The air between them after that night had become awkward and neither had the guts to do something different. Until now. "Thank you for talking now, Phoenix." Junpei was glad Phen had taken those steps, because Junpei didn't know how much longer it was going to be before he could do so himself, if at all. Junpei didn't want to lose a good friendship over something so small….well, it wasn't exactly a small issue, but at least Junpei didn't think it was worth throwing away what the two of them already had. And now that they'd talked, he could move past it.

There was just the matter of Phen's boyfriend. While Junpei was joking, it was only half so. Again, Junpei wouldn't put it past Oriel to come and pop him one for putting the moves on his boyfriend, from what he's seen that boy was obsessively possessive. Unhealthily so. "I understand. I will talk to Phoenix if this thing happen."

However, Junpei did not expect Phoenix to be so…gung-ho about Junpei and Yue taking things past just holding hands. Junpei leaned back at Phoenix's fervor, eyes slightly wide in surprise at how insistent he was being, listening in silence and an occasional nod. At the mention of sex, however…. "S…s-s-ekusu!?(sex?)" He nearly choked on the word. It wasn't that he hadn't thought about it, but….they were still in high school! Junpei was only barely 16 now, they were still kids! Was it really Ok to be thinking about sex? "I do not know…I am…Yue is….Wakka'nai yo~!" Junpei planted his forehead in his palms, unsure of what to think. But then…Jack, his roommate, had also suggested sex was an option at this point. Junpei thought he was just being an idiot, but maybe he actually knew what he was talking about? "…Do you really think it is ok?"

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As Junpei thanked him, Phen just shrugged, feeling his cheeks flush a little as he looked down with a small smile. "I'm just g-glad we won't avoid each other anymore," he said softly. Phoenix risked a glance up. "You're one of my best friends. And I really, really appreciate you comin' over that night. It really helped." Well, he'd done worse after Jun left, but while Junpei had been there, Phen had felt loads better. "If I can ever repay the favor... Please tell me." Although honestly, he was in so much monetary debt with Jun now, he knew he'd likely never catch up.

He nodded as Junpei agreed to come to him if anything happened. "Good." Phen'd make sure he talked to Oriel about it again, though; no way was Phoenix going to risk things getting awkward between them again over his boyfriend getting after the poor boy.

S-s-sekusu? Phoenix couldn't help it; he let out a laugh. Junpei just looked so wide-eyed and innocent, he had to resist reaching out and pinching his little cheeks. "It's not a bad thing, Jun," he said quietly, still smiling and chuckling a little. "Hell, I had my first time when I was... Like, twelve," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. That brought back bad memories that he quickly pushed away. Phen watched as Jun mumbled in Japanese and let his face fall against his hand, and reached out a hand that he patted against the boy's knee. Maybe this really wasn't his business, but hey! He wanted Jun to get to experience what he obviously desired, if their kiss meant anything. "Yeah, I think so," he nodded. "As long as she wants to, too. Don't force it on her or anything. And talking about it is good, too; settin' up boundaries so you both know how far you want t'go." He gave Junpei a serious look. "Communication is a good thing. You can never communicate too much."

That said, he reached into one of his pockets and pulled out a condom; he kept one on him almost all the time... Just in case Oriel decided to pounce him unexpectedly. "If you don't have one, take it," he said, offering it to Junpei. He assumed the boy knew what it was and how to use it. "I've got... Plenty more." That, at least, was something he could offer his friend.

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Junpei nodded. No, he didn't intend on avoiding his friend anymore. Though he was going to be reminded of that kiss pretty much every time he saw Phoenix now. It wasn't even that bad of a kiss, at least Junpei didn't think so. Then again, the boy didn't have much for reference, so he wouldn't actually know. "I will think of something you can help to pay back." Junpei wasn't even keeping track of how much Phoenix probably owed him. While Phoenix(and his boyfriend) clearly were taking advantage of Junpei by always asking for money, Phoenix at least was also a friend to Junpie. Their relationship wasn't just built on debt.

Junpei continued to stare at Phoenix as the other boy laughed at him and he looked down with a blush. Of course it was embarrassing, Junpei had never done it before. Not that he hadn't thought about it, but he was still so awkward about the subject. "Eh? Twelve? Uso da!" Junpei couldn't believe it! Phoenix was only twelve years old when he first had sex! That was…young! Very young! "Is…Is this normal for Americans?" He had to know. But he couldn't very well go around asking everyone he knew at what age they first had sex, if they'd had done it at all. He was sure some of his other friends were like him and hadn't even thought of it yet.

But Phoenix was explaining, so Junpei was listening. Communication. But it was such an awkward subject, how were they supposed to talk about it? What if Junpei scared Yue away by bringing it up?

Junpei innocently took the little package, not knowing what it was and inspected it. "What is this?" And he had plenty? Plenty of what? While Junpei had attended The Talk back when he first arrived at Hammel, he didn't absorb quite as much as he intended, half because he still didn't know the language very well, and half because….well, Yue was next to him and he kind of had a….problem….with…. things...

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Phen was pretty sure he'd never forget about that kiss either - it was sorta special, really. Phen wouldn't mind playing around with Junpei more, except for the fact that a) he had a boyfriend, b) Jun had a girlfriend, and c) he didn't think Jun would be interested again anyway. "Please do," he replied quietly. Even if he could never repay him completely, he wanted to do something. He didn't want to lose Junpei's friendship over monetary issues, even if the Japanese boy was one of the most generous people he'd probably ever met.

He stopped laughing quickly, seeing Junpei's embarrassed blush, and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. Phen had a habit of forgetting that most people weren't as open and comfortable with this stuff as he and Oriel were. Especially not Junpei. "Er... Yeah," he mumbled; now it was his turn to blush. "Um... I mean, it's sort of assumed that a lot of kids are having sex younger these days, but it's not like... Everyone does. A lot of people wait. I... I wasn't a good kid at that time in my life, Junpei." He didn't regret his first time, but he did regret what came after. It had been very hard for the young boy to cope with that person betraying him like he was worthless. He sighed, glancing down at the floor. "I... I'm still not a good person, not really. I gotta lotta shit I'm still dealin' with."

But now Phoenix was just being depressing, so he tried to lighten the mood with the offered contraceptive. He blinked when Junpei asked what it was; hadn't he attended the Talk? Surely he... Oh, goodness. "Um, it's a condom, Jun," he replied, trying his hardest to keep a straight face and not laugh at his adorable naivety. "You've heard of them, right? They, um... They're protection t'prevent pregnancy and STDs and stuff." He paused, holding up a finger. "They're not completely effective, though. If it rips when you guys are having sex, make sure you, um, talk t'someone about gettin' day-after stuff." He really should know more about this - it was easier when you didn't have to worry about getting your partner pregnant. "I... I'm sure she knows this stuff, if she's been to the Talk. Like I said, talk t'her. I'm sure she'll appreciate the honesty, if nothin' else. If she's not ready, she'll tell you. Easy as that." Phoenix offered a supportive smile.

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Junpei couldn't really put his head around whether or not he would be willing to do more with Phoenix. Kissing might be on that list but that and anything else were completely out of his consideration because Junpei had a girlfriend! As long as Junpei had a girlfriend, he couldn't even think to want to do things with anyone else…at least he didn't think so. He wouldn't want to be unfaithful to Yue-chan, after all.

Was that true? Kids were having sex younger and younger these days? That wasn't something that Junpei had heard, however he was also very much out of the loop in many social circles. It might just be because Junpei was a straight-laced boy. "Sou tusk?" he mumbled. If Phoenix was only 12, Junpei had to wonder… "How old was Oriel when he first…?" Which probably wasn't an appropriate question and it made Junpei blush again.

At the presented condom, Junpei just stared at it until Phoenix finally explained what it was. He flushed all the way from his ears to his neck all over again. He….knew what one was, he had just never…really…seen one before. Except at the Talk, but Junpei was concentrating on other things at the time. He nodded slowly as he took it from Phoenix's hand just as slowly. Wait? If it rips? "If it….rip. Why would? How?" If they were so fragile, why only give him one?

Junpei sighed. Even if knew what he was supposed to do, Junpei wasn't even sure he could bring it up to Yue. It was such an embarrassing subject, Junpei was sure he'd flop over his words and she would just say no anyway. Probably slap him. "I do not know if I can say this thing…" He shook his head, looking down again."

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Phoenix was blushing now, feeling pretty embarrassed about telling all this stuff to someone who was as naive as a kid (at least compared to Phen). But still... Someone had to talk to him about it, right? Otherwise what if he and Yue did something and they didn't know what they were doing and something bad happened? Whatever the case... Phen was doing his best. At the question about Oriel, Phoenix's flush traveled down to his neck, and he shrugged. "I-I think around the same time," he admitted. "We both had a lotta experience with other people when we..." He trailed off. Jun really didn't want to know this stuff, did he? Phen was fine with sharing, he wasn't ashamed of it, but he didn't want to freak Junpei out either.

This whole condom thing would have been funnier had Phen not been encouraging Junpei to use it; as it was, it was still adorable, but a little troubling - Phoenix really hoped he'd use it if and when the time came. The question jolted him into spitting out another bit of information. "Make sure you don't put on more than one at a time," he warned. "I... I think it can like... Cause more friction and make them even more likely t'break." He rubbed the back of his flushed neck again. "I don't think it happens very often, but... Just so you know."

But Junpei did seem awfully sure it wasn't going to work out, so Phoenix just put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Like I said, all you can do is ask," he said softly. "If you're not comfortable doin' that yet, then... Maybe you aren't ready? I dunno." He sighed. "It's... It's really quite an experience, though." He began to stand, feeling the conversation was drawing to a close. He pulled his weight back onto his crutches. "But I'd say at least go for the kiss, Junpei. Find some mistletoe or just get her alone on Christmas Eve... Make it special." Phen smiled optimistically. "She wouldn't still be datin' you if she didn't like you, after all!"

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Junpei wasn't really freaked out, ok he might have been a little, but he was mostly just surprised. Surprised at how different people could be. That was something he was surprised with everyday. And especially with a person as so nice as Phoenix. "You and Orieru are very alike sometime," and yet their temperaments were completely different. Phoenix and Junpei were more alike than either of them were to Oriel, and yet their pasts and experiences were so different.

There were just people of all kinds and that was something that still amazed Junpei.

But now that he'd opened that door, Junpei wanted to know more about his friend. "When you first made sekusu, how was it?" Maybe he could get an idea of what to expect by hearing about Phoenix's experiences.

Junpei nodded at the advice that Phoenix was giving about how to use the condom. it was probably a lot simpler than Junpei was thinking, but it was good to get these points pointed out to him. Junpei was so easily flustered, some of them probably would have never occurred to him. "Hai. I understand."

Phoenix did make another point. Junpei wouldn't still be dating Yue if he didn't like her, so it was probably the same for her. That gave him some confidence. And the suggestion for Christmas Eve sparked him into doing just that. "I am thinking I will do this. I…hope I can do this." He nodded to himself as a way of giving himself encouragement, clutching his fists firmly. He was totally going to get his first…..wait.

Right. Junpei's first kiss was with….

His face dropped. Oh no….Junpei was thinking he wanted his first kiss to be special and with a girl he really liked. He wanted it to be with Yue, but he'd gone and…. "Phoenix….I just think…you take my first kiss!" Junpei spoke like he was accusing the boy. "This is very bad! Yue can not know!" What would happen if she found out? She...she might kill Phoenix.

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Phoenix chuckled, then sighed, shrugging a shoulder. He used to be even more like Oriel - snarky and moody - back when he was still an addict. Now, he supposed, they still had quite a bit in common. "Yeah... I think we're rubbing off on each other," he mumbled with a smile. Oriel wasn't as bad as he used to be either. Still had his moments, but he seemed overall more stable. "You shoulda known me before I met him... Actually, no. I'm glad you didn't." He was pretty sure he would have bullied Junpei. And that realization made him sad.

The question about his first time made Phen snap out of those memories, only to be transported even further back, back to Seattle and Jess. It wasn't something he normally liked to look back on, but... "It was... It was nice," he murmured. "It was with my... Well, she was a friend, and had more experience than me. I think she took pity on me, really. And uh..." Should he say it? "I mean, there... Were drugs involved... So the details are kinda fuzzy." Phoenix sighed, clenching his fingers in his lap. "But I remember I enjoyed it at the time."

He was glad, though, that Junpei's confidence seemed to rise a little. "That's the spirit," he chuckled, patting Jun on the back before retracting his hand. "I want t'hear how it goes." He hoped it ended well. It had to, right? Yue couldn't be so stuck-up that she was above letting her own boyfriend kiss her. That'd just be weird.

But then Jun's face fell, and when he spoke about his predicament, Phen flushed, wincing back slightly. "I'm sorry!" he whined. "I-I didn't mean... It wasn't..." There was no way he'd ever tell Yue. She'd beat him up for sure. "I mean I was asleep so... It doesn't even count as a first kiss!" He had no idea if Jun would go for that or not, but it was the best he had.

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Junpei made a curious look, not quite understanding. He knew that Phoenix had had a hard time, but the boy had only ever been nice to Junpei. Honestly, the Japanese boy couldn't imagine Phoenix being anything but. "I do not know how you are before, but I do know Phoenix is a good person because he is Phoenix." He smiled, trying to reassure his friend that no matter the circumstances, "Phoenix has always been Phoenix." And nothing in the world could change that. He was a good person because he had always been one. The essence of a person was not so easily changed.

The evidence was how fondly he looked back on precious memories, even if it was during a time that was particularly dark for him. "You liked this girl?" Junpei didn't really need to ask, it was written all over his face. "You care very much, even when time is hard." That was definitely one of the things the two of them had in common.

And they cared deeply for those who were close to them.

Phoenix had his Oriel, and Junpei had his Yue. And Junpei was definitely feeling like he could finally do it. He just…didn't know what to do now that his first kiss was gone gone forever!

Junpei shook his head. I really wasn't Phoenix's fault, Junpei was the one who took action, but he must have been out of his mind to not even think about that one important thing. "I cannot think that!" he exclaimed, a slight panic in his voice. "I am already….istumo omotterun'da!" After all, it was a nice kiss, how could he forget it?

He was…just going to have to suck it up and tell her? Maybe? Someday….? Junpei didn't want to lie to her, because that was low. That was just not ok.