Long and winding road (Kodiak)

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Kodiak Oubre. That name was one that Milan would never forget. Not even if this recruited student would graduate. The recruitment had been engraved in the man’s memory and it would take a lot for it to get washed out. If asked, he would be able to vividly remember every word and actions of that day. He could recall how obedient Kodi had been, how polite and timid he had behaved towards him. All of this was the complete opposite of the stories that had begun to reach his ears the last couple of weeks, months even. And all of those added to the inability of ever forgetting who this student was. What Milan remembered best, however, was how Kodi used to be.

This was why the Irish fella found himself roaming around the Institute, stepping from one shadow into the other in search for Kodiak. He approached students around his age, stopping them along the way to ask if perhaps they knew where to find the Asian boy. Milan could actually detect the change of facial expression on some of them, which in turn brought along a frown while a mental note was made to perhaps relocate those specific students later on. For now, his focus was on the information he finally gathered from a younger girl.

Within seconds, Milan stepped out of a shadow in the library. It did take him walking by some racks, but eventually blue optics landed on the boy he had been looking for, seated against the far end wall. “Kodiak?” He spoke up while stepping between the racks, wishing to make his presence known to not startle him, before stopping halfway . When the Chinese student did gaze up though, a hand motioned for him to rise and then a finger gestured him to follow along. Wordlessly, Milan spun around again until he was out from between the racks, looking over at Kodi.

Why did he not speak yet? He wished for the boy to understand that a lack of sweet talk meant that it was serious.

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Kodi was doing, as expected, not so well after the fight he himself had initiated. Having not expected George to fight back as much as she had, he hadn't prepared himself to be hit in the face, and the consequences of that were still clear on his face - a nice, purplish bruise around the right side of his mouth, along with several punctures where he'd bitten himself from the hit. It was a dull pain now, far from unbearable, but still a nuisance. He just ignored people who asked what had happened (as if they didn't already know) - yeah, Kodi'd been punched by a girl. No big deal. He'd deserved it, and he knew it, but that wouldn't stop him from picking fights again.

As he tended to do when he was sulking after a particularly aggressive fight, he'd hidden himself back in the library, away from prying eyes and questioning stares. Fuck everyone, they didn't know him, who were they to judge? His nose was stuck into a thick book about fighting techniques; he was keen to learn more about it ever since that teacher's pet asshole Koty had nearly knocked a tooth out.

Kodi was therefore ignorant to the approach of his old recruiter until he heard his name. His full name. There were few people he told his full name; Kodi was what he went by, all the time, no exceptions. His head snapped up and he started to snarl,"My name's fuckin' Kodi, who d'you-"

Oh.

His words died in his throat upon seeing who was staring down at him. The normally snappy, rude boy instantly tensed, his face going slack with uncertainty. Milan was one of the few people at Hammel who knew what he'd been like before... He became the way he was now. He was also one of the very few that could make Kodi listen and actually get a response. When the recruiter beckoned for Kodi to get up and follow, he stood nervously, sticking the book back where it belonged and trudging behind with his shoulders hunched, hands stuffed deep in his pockets. He suddenly felt thirteen again, young and obedient and... Pathetic.

"Wh... What's goin' on, Mr. Myles?" he asked; the title he used just showed how much different he saw Milan as he did other staff, who he usually just snorted at and ignored.

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An eyebrow had been arched and Milan kept it that way until it seemed to dawn upon Kodi that this was not the time to act all tough. The change was quite visible, but that did not mean that the recruiter would adjust himself as well. During the last couple of years, he had grown professionally. He remained very empathic when it came to those who he recruited (and others who might require such approach), but he had also learnt to get a less ‘soft’ reputation. If needed, the man would step forward, just like he was doing now. Milan could have kept himself on the background, yet he rather interfered before it got even more out of control.

When the student rose to follow, caught up and asked the question, Milan offered a simple response. “Let’s discuss this somewhere else.” Right now, here… it was not appropriate. While most of the Hammel attendees had gone home for the holidays, some had stayed behind. Those located in the library were of course gazing over and while assumptions could be made, the Irish fella wasn’t going to feed them by bringing up his concerns for them to hear. What he was willing to do, however, was have a “don’t even think about it” ready just in case Kodi opted to show his teeth to end the stares.

The hallways were calmer and it was only a matter of minutes before they reached the offices. Milan unlocked the door and motioned a hand for the Chinese boy to enter. He switched on the lights, even though it wasn’t that necessary, and then closed the door behind them. “Take a seat.” Milan spoke as his head nodded to one of the nearby couches. Or he could pick a chair… but at least he should be somewhat comfortable. When Kodi was seated, the man sat opposite to him, slightly bend forward with elbows on his knees and hands balled together against his mouth as blue optics rested upon Kodiak.

Eventually he shifted his head for his chin to rest on the hands. “So, how have you been adjusting to Hammel?”

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Kodi couldn't think of why... Okay, he could definitely think of why Milan was approaching him now. If he'd been around at all recently, he would have heard the rumors (mostly true) swirling around, and like a good, responsible staff member, was going to get to the bottom of it. Damn... If it'd been anyone else, Kodi would have just sneered and ignored them, but... Milan was a special case. The southerner felt indebted to him after his recruitment; he was the one that had taken Kodi from his shit home life, even if it was just his job.

Fuck this... Kodi should have known it was coming.

He lifted kohl-lined eyes up to Milan as he spoke again, falling silent as they walked out of the library. Kodi could feel the eyes staring, the whispers that were surely being spread between watchers. If Milan hadn't been right there, Kodi definitely would have sent the watchers a couple threatening leers - as it was, he just looked sullenly forward, not meeting anyone's eyes.

Kodi continued to be quiet until they reached Milan's office, a place Kodi had rarely been. He'd been in plenty of other offices, but usually tuned whoever's office it was out until they got frustrated and gave up. He'd definitely be more compliant here. His eyes scanned the different seats, deciding to take the couch. He sat uneasily, his back slumped with his elbow resting on his knee; he tried to hide the bruised side of his face by holding his chin in the same hand. Kodi watched his trainer sit, too; his stomach churned uneasily.

The question was unexpectedly open. The Chinese boy blinked, a little surprised, before wracking his brain for a decent answer. "S'been fine," he lied at first... But his voice was so dull even he didn't believe it. So he sighed, eyes darting to the side. "Please don't beat around the bush, Mr. Myles. I know you didn't find me just t'ask about how I've been doin'."

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Milan remained seated in the same position as his gaze rested on Kodiak, awaiting a reply. It was a short one, but better than nothing, especially because the tone of the student’s voice gave away just how empty those words were. When Kodi continued to speak, a frown appeared on the recruiter’s face. “No, you’re right.” He decided while sitting up straight, hands remaining connected at they rested in his lap. “But some people genuinely want to know how you have been and are doing, and that was not just a random question to open the conversation. Somewhere that progress went wrong and a honest answer could perhaps help to clear some things.”

Hopefully Kodi could understand that Milan had thought this through to a certain extent. He didn’t randomly ask how he was doing; he actually did feel concerned enough to ask. The Chinese boy also had to understand that Milan was not really accustomed to situations like this. He would not start throwing accusations at him; he would try to approach it differently. Kodiak didn’t seem to be familiar with such attempts.

The Irish man leaned forward again, once more resting his chin on the ball of hands. Both index fingers connected as he pressed them against slightly pursed lips. “How about this? You just tell me whatever you want to tell and we will go from there?” If Kodiak did not want to beat around the bush, this was his chance to go for it. Surely he was more than aware why he was here. If not, Milan would get to find out other things.

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Kodi bit his lip, looking down as Milan spoke again. If there was absolutely anyone the southerner trusted, it was his recruiter - not because they were particularly close, but because Milan was the person that had taken him away from his shitty lifestyle and given him a chance at something else. Granted, he hadn't done much with that chance, but... Nevertheless, Milan's genuine concern touched a deep part of him that Kodi didn't want to admit existed, and he sighed, rubbing his thumb against a sore part of his gums. "You're pretty much the only person that seems t'care," he muttered under his breath, thought Milan probably heard it in this small room. A clear answer? How was he supposed to give one when he didn't even know himself?

He... Definitely wasn't used to this. Someone actually asking about him. He was used to adults talking down to him, patronizing him, acting like he was nothing more than a pesky, troublesome rat. And Kodi knew he deserved it; so this approach was really throwing him off.

Kodi looked up as Milan settled forward, his kohl-lined eyes softer and more uncertain than they had been in a very long time. Tell his recruiter whatever he wanted to tell him... Well, it was definitely a way to start. Kodi settled back against his seat, arching his neck back so he stared up at the ceiling. "Well... I'm assumin' you heard what happened with me an' that bi- uh... Chick the other day. An' that's what this is about." After all, that was the biggest thing that had happened recently, amongst all the smaller troublesome things Kodi did. "So... I'm expectin' repercussions an' privileges taken away an' a whole lotta other shit that I deserve for beatin' a girl." He said it all monotonously, as though it had happened to someone else. "Am I right?"

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Milan shook his head at that muttered statement. “More people care, Kodiak. You just have to let them in instead of putting up that rough exterior that makes you unapproachable.” He wouldn’t let anyone else express any concerns because things went wrong when people came too close. It might not seem like that to the student, but Milan did hope to at least bring the message across that the world wasn’t as bad and dark as he imagined it to be. The recruiter wanted to ask an explanation for that drastic change, but it did not feel like right timing. He could lecture the Asian boy, yet he did not. It was a different approach, sure, but different wasn’t always a bad thing. Hopefully it would enough to keep Kodiak from bringing out his bad side in front of Milan.

When Kodi began to speak, Milan nodded and rose from his seat. He headed over to a small fridge, taking out two small bottles of water. It was all he could offer right now, so that would have to do. Moving back, he placed one of them down on the small coffee table between them and then reclaimed his previous position. Elbows once more rested upon his upper legs, near his knees before he gulped down some of the water. Turning the lid back on, he spoke. “Perhaps. Do you believe that you deserve repercussions and privileges taken away from you?” While Kodi might be right about why he was there, Milan wanted to find out just how aware he was about the severity. Right now the man got the impression that it just felt like an every-day-thing to him. “What would you do if you were in my position?” Perhaps it was not fair to let him decide on that, but it would give Milan a general idea on how deep Kodiak’s awareness ran.

“Keeping in mind that you hit a girl, bit someone and more than once threatened a fellow student.”

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Kodi grunted at that statement, his gaze shooting to the side with a scowl. Yes, he knew it was mostly his fault for pushing any potential friends and teachers away with his sour, violent attitude. "Keepin' people away keep me from gettin' hurt," he finally grumbled, resigned enough not to even snap at his recruiter for using his full name. "I don't got anyone that I have t'worry about stabbin' me in the back. It's... It's fuckin' better that way." It was almost easy, talking to Milan about this stuff. It shouldn't be, but it was something that Kodi had pounded into his own head so much that it might as well have been fact.

His heavily lined eyes watched Milan as he stood, studying the older man's figure (and subtly checking him out, because why not? He looked good from behind), tilting his head as the water was offered to him. "Got any whiskey?" he asked, half-joking as he reached out and took a sip himself. Erik had got him hooked on the foul liquid, although Kodi's slight alcohol dependence had started way before the two boys met. He stared at the bottle as Milan asked him the questions, mulling over his response. It actually didn't take too much thought, because Kodi's answer was probably one that recruiter wasn't necessarily expecting. "Honestly?" he started, his gaze still pointed downward. His face felt hot. "I... Sometimes I think I do it because I want t'be punished." Kodi let that sit in the air for a second before continuing. "I got... I got a lotta... Issues... With myself," he mumbled. "An'... I figure... For someone as fucked up as I am... I ain't deservin' a pretty, easy life." It all boiled down to self-hatred from his parents' teachings. He was everything that they despised, so why should he be happy?

What would he do if he was Milan? "If I were you, I'd lock me up an' make sure I never saw the light'a day, before I do somethin' even more stupid," he spoke into the top of his water bottle, taking another sip. He hadn't looked at Milan since he began speaking.

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Milan knew that Kodiak might not be a major fan of the technique that the recruiter applied, but it just felt effective to him, even though he had yet to fully test this. The man could not ignore the possibility of retorting the student’s words in a different way. “So, keeping people away does not hurt you then? It does not inflict loneliness? They might not stab you in the back, at least not through a friendship, but there is no one to turn to either… Is it really that much better?” He arched an eyebrow as his head lightly dipped to the side. Maybe Kodi simply had to get some help on gaining a different perspective and the recruiter figured his optimistic approach of life could contribute to that.

When Milan offered the small bottle of water and Kodiak asked for some whiskey, he merely gave him a disapproving frown. It might have been a little joke, but it was not exactly good timing, especially since the student should not be drinking in the first place. Being in trouble as it were and then asking for some alcohol did not help the situation. It, however, made it clear to Milan that this was possibly a topic that had to be discussed at one point. For right now he felt the conversation had into a darker direction. It made the frown remain as he leaned back in his seat, subconsciously opening his own drink. “You call yourself fucked up, but does your behavior not make that worse? Getting punished… That will not contribute positively to the self-image that you have. Why would you want to be punished if your life is so complicated as it is?”

Sipping the water, Milan soon turned the lid on again. Soon he held the bottle by its lid between his right middle and index finger, swinging it back and forth between his legs while once more leaning forward with elbows on his legs. “If I could, I would consider locking you in the shadows where I roam. To make you capable of observing people – the people that you harass - and to acknowledge that their lives are not part of a rainbow either.” The recruiter sighed. “You hate your life. Why would you wish it upon someone else?” He didn’t want to sound accusatory. He just wanted Kodiak to understand that his actions had consequences.