There's Three Parts to Love. . . (Darian)

[Walther Ebersbacher]

It felt great. It felt great to cry and sob and let everything out. In an odd sense, it really brought a highlight to his day. It'd been pretty bad until then, here at Hammel. No one to truly connect with, no one he could call anything beyond just a 'friend'. There was a whirlwind of new sensations and benefits he was experiencing. A best friend, the implications were all there, and they were just fantastic. Someone to help him out whenever those Quinn Twins bothered him, or when a prank was pulled.

But besides that, there was a fluttering in his stomach, a heaviness in his feet, and a heat that seemed to radiate throughout his veins, from his head, to his feet. He could swear he felt that sensation course through every portion of his body as he walked. Maybe it was just that proximity that made him a little... Excited? Eager? Walther had no idea what to call this feeling. All he hoped was that maybe Darian felt it too, to some degree.

He'd grabbed his own tray of food, thankfully provided for free. There must have been some system of Government Grants going on to allow food that wasn't bad at all to such a quantity of students. Well, there were /less/ here than there were in other schools, if he had to guess. Metas weren't too common, after all. A rare blessing, or a rare curse. It was all based on interpretation. As far as the food situation went, Walther viewed it very much as a blessing.

As he'd predicted, there were plenty of empty tables. A few people he didn't recognize seemed to be studying or talking. It made sense to do it in such an open space while it was empty enough. He sank his butt down on to the bench, scooting towards the edge, and allowing his friend plenty of room. Well, all the way down the table, if he really ever needed it.

He looked down at his tray. Carrots and blue cheese dressing, a bit of pizza that actually didn't look like it was microwaved cardboard and sauce, and a little carton of milk. He took a single, pretty big bite out of his snack.

"I think this is just what we've needed."

[Darian Barker]

Darian actually didn't do a whole lot of talking as they made their way to the cafeteria, which could have been a very bad thing. His lips were down, his expression blank. He took his tray and with whatever food was served to him, taking it to the table and sliding in next to Walther. Quite the contrary to the other boy, his mood hadn't gone through the roof after the moment they'd shared. It was different for him, actually. The encounter had relaxed him for sure, he actually felt centered. However, he felt like his emotions were drained. His own pleasant mood, as far as he was concerned, should have been a given.

He took a spoonful of his own food, simply nodding when Walther made that remark, and dully replying "Mmhm."

It was a little nice in this cafeteria, quiet except for a single low chattering among the folks that were studying. He didn't contribute to that, eating his food in silence and letting his mind wander all about the place. It was so... nice to know that he had a friend now. No, a best friend. He couldn't really say that about anyone before, and the line between the two was so clear. He felt far more intimate around Walther now, more willing to open up when he felt like opening up. And honestly, he wished they shared more classes than they did, so that they could hang out more often.

"Have any more classes today...?" he asked, mouth half-full of food.

[Walther Ebersbacher]

He scooted a little bit closer to Darian, bumping shoulders as he continued at his food. That mood wasn't too hard to spot. It was quite visible in stature, audible in voice. He was gloomy, and it was really hard for Walther to understand why. Since, really, he felt pretty damned great about this. That euphoria seemed to just be lost upon him.

He also wrapped another arm around him, in a little bit of a side-hug. As if to remind him everything was okay, as if to remind him that he had a friend here that he could confide in. Well, what could he have really said to that but a direct reply..? He was left to his own thoughts for a moment, watching the atmosphere of the cafeteria with a very muted disinterest on his face. He didn't really care what anyone else was up to, even if it was Judah playing Civilization. He only really cared about Darian right now, and with good reason.

Any more classes... He had to comb the recent recesses of his memory for that. He was pretty sure he was done with all of them, yeah... That's the whole reason he'd retreated to their room to have a little bit of a nap to begin with. He shook his head. And, just in case Darian hadn't been glancing to the side, reaffirmed it with a "No."

"I'm guessing you didn't have any more, either... Or else our room wouldn't be Fluffy Feudalism for a little while, there..." A smile, fluffy feudalism, that was a good one. Hopefully that would have gotten a reaction out of him, and if that didn't, well, he was ready to hug him yet again!

[Darian Barker]

The wordplay actually did make him smile, even though he wasn't entirely sure what 'feudalism' was. He took another spoonful of his food, allowing the the hug and, eventually, returning it. Walther was just so glad, it was beyond evident, and he just had to turn his eyes on the boy and remark, "You're so happy now, I've never saw you like this before."

He was, indeed, free for the rest of the day. It was his short-classes day, one of two of those each week. He'd gladly spend the rest of it with Walther, especially if the boy was going to be this cheery all day. People were always more fun to spend time with when they were in moods like this. Darian could only really assume that the cry was a longer time coming for Walther, and was a weight off his shoulders.

And Darian wasn't the kind of guy to taunt him for it, not in the least. Whenever Walther needed to do that, Darian wanted to express that he would be there to support him.

[Walther Ebersbacher]

His euphoria was evident, he knew that much. That's why he knew Darian remarked on it. It was like freeing oneself from a burden. Like getting over a loss after a long time of thinking one couldn't. He really came to the conclusion in the room, but it was worth running over in his mind again. In Hammel, everyone needed somebody. They needed somebody to hold on to and cherish, especially since this wasn't like Hogwarts at all. Walther smiled, and just leaned in to him a little bit.

"I'm very happy, Darian. I'm happy to have met you, and I'm happy to be your friend... And that I could have done that. I know for certain that I couldn't have done that with Dr. Neville, or any of the other students, really. I don't think they would understand as well as you do..." And there, that warmth returned. But this time, it was calmer. The fluttering was slow, like something slowly churning, instead of an excited rush.

It was pathetic, he figured. "I think that I'd like to sit here for a while with you, is that okay..? Well, why wouldn't it be? He always sought that affirmation instead of just assuming, that was just him.

[Darian Barker]

It was at this point and this closeness that Darian quirked a blonde brow, realizing that something was up with Walther. The way he was talking, the way he was looking at him; that smile on his face. Darian wasn't entirely unaware, especially when he was making it so blunt. Suddenly, through his blank stare he was piecing things together. It all made sense now, how oddly Walther had acted before. In ways that Darian had always passed off as being cold, being shy or being German. His behavior in the pillow fort made so much more sense this way -- and in his mind, it had a completely different context now.

Darian wasn't sure how he felt about it, really. Especially not so immediately after the realization. It made him feel odd in and of itself. There was a different kind of churning in his stomach, one of anxiety, and some other feeling of unplacable... vulnerability. His face must have been turning a little red thinking about it, but only hardly. For the most part, his face retained that expressionless pallor, that dumbfounded look. And his heart, it was beating a few ticks faster.

It was all very much like a ton of bricks being dropped on his head, regardless of how gradually he'd come to this conclusion. He felt he had to say something, though he wasn't sure what that something was. He opened his mouth, took a very fast breath, and (as he quite often did in these situations) let the words just tumble past his lips.

"Do you have a crush on me or something?"

[Walther Ebersbacher]

Well, that was odd. For him, at least. It was odd how quickly he found out. It had been this way for a little while, now. All of the little breaks they had between their events only gave him a period of time where he was longing, in a manner of speaking. He didn't figure he was being blunt, but there was no point in being mystical and far-reaching. As a result of this question, he opted to just put his arms on this table, sighing.

Despite having been found out, he had to consider how to answer this. Answer it wrong, and he imagined Darian would just fly off the handle, get angry, maybe be a bully to him like some people here were being. Maybe he'd want to switch rooms and never, ever be friends again. And it was really the same as if he was dishonest. What if he had some sort of reciprocation, and Walther was dishonest? Then there'd be an awkwardness between them that would never go away.

After a very brief degree of contemplation, he'd reached a cessation of sorts. Honesty. Darian was his friend enough that it really shouldn't have mattered. Despite the quickness of the situation overall, things didn't have a time to build when you were both young, and in Hammel. His feelings should have been at least absolutely understandable. But he had no perspective to observe that idea from but his own, where it seemed entirely reasonable.

"I... Think so, yes..." He answered with a deep inhalation.

[Darian Barker]

Darian just stared as he awaited his answer, which seemed to take forever to come. Part of him wanted to hear 'no' just to avoid another situation wherein he'd have to actually grow up and face something new. But his reason told him it was probably going to be a 'yes', and it was bound to happen eventually. He remembered his mom, how she would sometimes seemingly at random prompt him about how he would feel if someone expressed that kind of interest in him. His answer was always the same, that he'd cross that bridge when he came to it. It was probably a constant concern for his mom that that bridge never seemed to come; amongst other bridges. Boy, wait until his mom heard about this...

...

He felt a rather immediate disbelief that at a situation like this, the first thing he wanted to do was to gush about it to his mother. 'Boy, I really am retarded.' he couldn't help but think.

It didn't occur to him until now that in this time he'd been thinking, Walther had already said 'yes', and Darian had just been blankly staring, zoned out for who knew how long. Now was not the time to be stoic, he had to actually say something. He did manage something, actually, however less tactful it was than it could have been.

"... Huh." and he returned to eating.

'Huh'? Seriously? No, no, no, no, that was terrible! 

"That's cool."

[Walther Ebersbacher]

His rather... subdued reaction didn't do much to settle Walther's stomach. Maybe Darian was as nervous as he? Or maybe, well, it was very possible that Darian didn't really care, and was trying to diffuse the conversation, snuff it out, so to speak. But that didn't make an iota of sense, Darian wasn't that kind of guy at all, was he? Walther never called himself detective extraordinaire when it came to reading expressions, of the body, voice, and face. But this was somebody he cried on, someone who genuinely cared about his feelings, what he was crying for. That wasn't Darian. That... That was /impossible/.

He wasn't too sure, from here, where this was going. What direction he was supposed to take. Really, his goal right now was to wait for Darian to extrapolate his feelings. Once he did that, it'd give Walther just the green light he needed to really explore the depths and intricacies of his feelings, and this situation.

He was still unable to ascertain anything for the lapses of silence, including this exact moment. Even his own mind was sort of just drawing blanks, nothing at all to think or to say. It was as if his mind were now a computer, and waiting for the input from an outside source to even further his calculations and programs.


That was cool, though? Now he was just trying to figure out what that meant in the way he said it. It was so... ambiguous that it just drove him crazy! And even when he stopped himself to think that maybe he was looking just too far in to it, his mind had continued on its tangent.

... "Yeah..."

[Darian Barker]

Well, that happened. His mind kept repeating the sentence over and over again, and the more that happened the more terrible it sounded. He stuffed his mouth with food, mulling it over in his head as he chewed. He actually had to think about this... was he okay with that? How did it make him feel? It was definitely flattering, and it made him really happy to hear. Theoretically, the thought of being the object of somebody's affection made him nervous, but now that he was actually here, it... felt a bit nice.

Besides, he had to really admire Walther's courage. The way he felt was so important to him that he just couldn't keep it a secret. And considering they were both boys, he was taking a considerable risk in this day and age. Darian had always had trouble thinking between words like 'gay' or 'straight', it felt a bit unimportant to him. But then, the whole idea of romance felt unimportant. If he found someone that could make him happy in that way, he would definitely take full advantage of the fact!

Well-- not 'take advantage' per se.

The question was whether or not Walther was that person.
He licked his lips once his mouth was empty, feeling that they were quite dry. Very slowly, he leaned a tad bit closer to Walther, and when there wasn't any feeling making him uncomfortable, he wrapped an arm around the other boy's shoulders and gave him a good, firm hug.

"Thanks. I mean..." he chuckled, voice hushed, "I like you too. I like you a lot."

[Walther Ebersbacher]

That really made him smile. For a while, the world around them melted away, fading in to nothing but a powder-blue mashup of movements and sounds. He didn't care what other people were up to. He wouldn't have minded if someone decided to make fun of him, right around now, or sit on their table to be disruptive. Though the cafeteria was, in reality emptying, he was completely unaware of this fact, just looking right up at Darian, in to those captivating eyes of his. It was a trigger, of sorts, to set off all sorts of feelings.

This was really great for him. It was courageous, he was very aware of that. But then again, he was given a little security from a lot of the older students, inadvertently, likely. He saw so many boys with boys. He felt less weird with those feelings only because of that. If there weren't the volume there was, who knows if he would have ever broken out of that shell of insecurity and self-doubt. Who knew if he would have even talked to Darian after gaining these feelings that he had.

Also not feeling uncomfortable with the closeness, he hugged Darian as tightly as he received. It felt so much nicer in this context. It wasn't consolation, it was really just a nice... Almost loving feeling. It felt there was a lot of care involved in even giving him that hug to begin with. He felt, well, /right/ like this. It felt like the way things were meant to be, in a manner of speaking. But he didn't want to start outing all of that without knowing that Darian at least had a feeling down the same path.

"Thank you... It really means a whole lot to hear that, you know."

[Darian Barker]

Darian found himself, honestly, warming up to the idea as he held Wather. That was a big relief because, as far as he was aware, it was supposed to be a feeling that just came to you, not after weeks. He'd simply never considered it before, but the more he did consider it, the better he liked the idea. He swallowed and exhaled, relaxing into this hug. Unlike Walther, however, he did actually look around to see if any eyes were on them. Surprisingly enough, nobody seemed to care.

"Want me to go put away your tray...?" he asked, slipping his arms off of Walther after what seemed like forever. His hand actually move away from Walther's shoulder, and folded around the other's. Any doubt regarding how Darian felt about this had no grounds on his expression, which was bright and smiling all the same.

[Walther Ebersbacher]

It made him really glad that Darian seemed to cheer up. The moment they'd entered the cafeteria, he was just so gloomy, so sad. And now, here he was, with a smile on his face. A smile he already missed seeing, despite seeing a few earlier today. Today was already looking up to be a whole lot brighter. He didn't really know where this left them, but it already felt pretty fantastic.

He'd never felt the feeling of love before, mostly because he couldn't care less about the prospect when he was younger. Between all of the bullying he suffered and all of the time he spent alone, the only /love/ he thought he had was towards his mother and father. And yet, enamored, head-over-heels, was Walther for Darian. It was hard to explain, but he didn't care to explain it.

Why find out the roots when all he knew was that he was experiencing it now? The feeling felt light in his body. It made him feel weightless, like he could just start gliding and floating about with every gust of air, like a feather traveling throughout the cafeteria. That smile, it wasn't fading from his face, either.

"Sure, thank you."

[Darian Barker]

Releasing Walther's hand, he stacked either try on top of the other and got out of his seat, almost skipping to the counter. When they were down, and eyes weren't on him, he swiped two chocolate milks from the crate and hurried back, offering one to Walther. He didn't usually steal, but he felt like he was at a bit of a high point at the moment.

After all, he was impressing his new... boyfriend? No, they weren't even kind of there yet. He didn't think so anyhow. They hadn't even kissed, but they did hold hands-- was that how it worked? Darian never had older sisters growing up, only one older brother and, while he went through so many, he kissed his girlfriends all the time. They were practically attached at the lip. Darian decided, though, that he was overthinking it. It seemed for a few moments at the table that they were going to, but it was just a hug. Was that his fault?
 
They did have a little while to themselves before curfew started up, so he took Walther's hand - after wiping his own off on his jeans - and led the way out of the cafeteria. They could hang out in the courtyard, maybe, the weather wasn't too bad.

"Let's go outside." was his only explanation, and as he walked he couldn't keep his mind from wondering. Were they supposed to kiss? Was Walther expecting it, now that he'd made the first move? Was it insulting that he wasn't? It was a little early...

[Walther Ebersbacher]

He didn't have the slightest clue, either. While Darian had the perspective from the point of his older sibling, Walther had gun-shy parents who didn't want to teach their baby boy about topics of a sexual nature. It made sense, given that he was a bit young while he was still living with them. He wouldn't have thought that he was going to have someone while he was here. Well, he was in the same boat. He didn't know what they were, just yet.

Equally confiding the feelings of liking each other, holding hands, and hugging. That seemed like something, to him, that was a /setup/. Maybe one of them would have to ask the other officially? He didn't think that a kiss would confirm it any more. He saw lots of people kiss that didn't really mean it. And, in some cultures, it was really just a polite gesture, the smaller pecks.

He introspectively sipped on his chocolate milk, after fumbling to peel open the carton to begin with. What was he to do? Did he have to say anything regarding this? Ugh, he felt so silly, wasn't this supposed to come naturally? It wasn't exactly coming naturally to him. He was questioning his next course of action, like a captain looking for treasure...

And every option had a potential kraken rising out of the water and destroying the ship with a massive tentacle.

His decision was to go for conversation. If they just talked about it, then both of them could reach a more comfortable conclusion in a quicker manner. Besides, he really needed to know what Darian thought about all of this before proceeding. It was a lot to take on!

"Does this make us boyfriends..?"