Capricious Wonderland (Penelope)

[Alyssa Ramius]

Oh the comforting darkness!

The girl felt revitalized as she stared at the blank canvas before her! She held out her hand and concentrated until her deck of tarot cards appeared in her hand, the visible spiral on the back glowing like polished gold. The top card shot up into the sky and expands into a portal: a woman emerges, carrying a luminous pitcher in the crook of her arm and long locks of nebulous celestial bodies trailing behind her. The woman’s smile is a maternal one as she tilts the pitcher, pouring out a shower of prismatic stars into the darkness above. Alyssa watched the display with wonderment, reaching with an open palm to capture a star that shimmered with a warm violet light.

“Amazing…” Alyssa whispered, the violet star in her hand blushing pink as if pleased with the compliment. If only she could see the expanses of the universe like this in the waking world, unobstructed by distance or looking through telescopes…

Telescope.
Telescope?
Wait!

The spectacle vanished into puffs of smoke. Her sense of touched returned – she could feel the pages beneath her fingers again. The whispers and squeaking of the return cart, all the everyday sounds of the library fills her ears. Alyssa blinks once…twice.

“No.” The blonde rasps; she shuts her eyes and presses her fingers to her eyelids. “No, no come on!”

No such luck. Alyssa felt the flutters of worry swell in her chest – what time was it? How long had she been in the visionary world? The lack of sleep was certainly affecting her stamina for the long day far lot more than she allowed herself to believe, the only exception being the early morning training sessions with Valentia. The long day nearly at its end, she allowed some time for reading on her favorite subjects while doing homework, but naturally her interests took precedence. But the meeting! The meeting for the Astronomy Club!

The darkness around her took form, recreating the school library with as much detail as she could recall. A few things were off – a few of the shelves were not distanced correctly, the chairs behind her had inverted colors, the clock on the wall ticked but was scratched out with uncertainty. Whispering shadowed figures with hollowed eyes spoke to one another. The scene remained monochromatic apart from Alyssa herself, mirroring the ambiguity of the time.

“Okay…let’s just go.” She whispered words of encouragement, closing the books beneath arms and stacking them nice and neat before rising from her seat. Now the chore was to concentrate, follow the mentally recreated paths. Alyssa grabbed her backpack and began walking, steady steps down the paths she recreated in her head. Looking straight at her, one would never guess she was operating completely without sight; that was much in part to Vel’s training.

“So far, so good. If I just make it to the club room…ah, but they’re all going to look at me for coming in so late.” Her eyebrows furrowed as she considered the stupidity of the statement. “Not that I would be able to see it.”

Oh, but she could imagine it! Whether it was the eyes of real people turning to look or the shadowed figures with empty voids for eyes turning to stare at her, the thought made her cringe. Maybe she should just skip it and go to the pond, or turn around! No need to suffer humiliation by accidentally bumping into people or things on the way to make it late to a meeting.

Had Alyssa been paying attention to her surroundings rather than the impending scenarios of humiliation, she would have been able to register the footsteps, imagine the energy signatures of someone directly in her path so that smooth avoidance could be managed. Instead, her wandering thoughts obscures the scene and she bumps hard into an obvious person-shaped obstacle, stumbling backwards to the floor.

Coordination was not on her side today.

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

If Penelope wasn’t in her dorm, most people would likely find her in the library. Over the years, the Brit made herself comfortable there. It was quiet, filled with books, and the more obnoxious students usually avoided it. What more could she ask for?

That particular day, Penny had gotten caught up in doing a bit of research. It hadn’t been for a class or assignment, but instead through her own interest. It wasn’t surprising to see the psychometrist do just as much, if not more, research outside of school than in it.

Penelope straightened her back in her chair, stretching her sore muscles. She lifted a hand and pressed it to her tender shoulder, massaging the muscle lightly. Her mind drifted from the book in front of her to the idea of taking a long, hot bath to ease her muscles.

The Brit released her hold on her shoulder, brining her hand back down to gently close the book. She stood, picking up the various books that had been neatly stacked at the table. Who knew Hammel’s library would have so much on the Australian history?

As she headed for the return cart, Penelope had been aware that she was crossing paths with another, but she continued forward nonetheless, with the layout of the library’s paths, she felt as if she had the right of way. However, she hadn’t noticed that the other had not stopped and had even ran into her with enough force to knock the books out of Penny’s arms. She managed stumbled slightly, but managed to keep herself from falling over.

“What in—“ Penny shot a glare over to the girl who all but ran her over, but she cut herself off the moment she realized she wasn’t glaring – she couldn’t even see. “Oh lord.”

Penny brought her hands up to her eyes, rubbing them slightly as if by doing so would fix her sudden blindness. It didn’t. “What is happening?”

[Alyssa Ramius]

A tumble of books falling sounded so much louder in such a quiet place! Alyssa’s entire body might as well have frozen over, completely mortified at what had happened. Oh god, she should have just stepped back to the table she had occupied! The blonde opened her mouth to spout out a fountain of apologies for completely missing an entire being coming her way.

It wasn't until she heard the person – no, a girl’s worried tone that her cheeks would flush hot with embarrassment. A small, exasperated whimper escapes the blonde girl before she spoke up just a little, but not enough to break library rules.

“I-I’m so sorry…” The gentle voice offered to the other, trying hard to keep a calm composure. “J-Just-um…I know it’s odd, but keep calm and try not to move." A pause before speaking again. "Actually, just sit down so you don't fall or trip. It'll be okay, I promise.”

Alyssa reached out to reaching for the books that had fallen. Poor things, victims of her egregious lack of coordination! Her mental view of the scene started to build and she was able to start stacking the books. If only there was a hole she could crawl into and just disappear for a while!

Well, at least…it’s just the eyesight. It would be back shortly, especially the quicker she could just leave and hide somewhere far away from here!

“I really do apologize… I know there's no excuse but I didn't see you.” Alyssa had to bite her lip to keep from the tears from rolling down her cheeks, half expecting to hear far off snickering from any onlookers. She didn't hear any, but that did not mean it had not happened!

“Or more. I didn't hear you…”

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

This was not good. She was blind! Penelope sucked in a quick breath, trying to calm herself down. So many questions were running through her mind. Was this permanent? If not, how long would it last? Would her vision be back to normal when she got it back? What if she needed glasses after this? The Brit inhaled sharply once again.

She needed to calm down.

Penny had almost missed the girl talking to her. Being told to keep calm was not exactly calming. The Brit’s anxiety was growing by the second, and she tried to focus on her breathing, which she was forcing to slow down. If she could control her breathing, it would be okay. She could handle this.

“What is going on?” She asked again, or this time rather, demanded. She kept herself still, not listening to the suggestion of the other. Penny wasn’t going to move until she had an explanation.

Penelope often apologized for most things, but this wasn’t the time to be given one. She didn’t care that the girl was sorry, Penny wanted her eyesight back.

[Alyssa Ramius]

Agitation, but an understandable agitation that did not require sight to decipher. Sight was a precious sense to most, many take for granted until confronted with age, injury or in this case, carelessness. But how could Alyssa even explain such a thing? She felt the first pangs of tightness in her chest and the start of the anxious rise in the need to run, the need to panic, and the exact opposite of what was necessary.

"I-It's what I...was born with. What I do…"

Alyssa's explanation faltered under the weight of both the worry and guilt hunched on her shoulders. There was not an ounce of pride in her ability, a stark difference to just a little earlier. The explanation may not even matter, just as the many other times she had crossed paths with others. A few exceptions, but mostly there was anger.

Small movement, the sound of a book being picked up with care, and soft breathing burdened with anxiety. That was one thing with missing a sense, the others tend to sharpen to compensate. Even the minute sound of a book being pulled off the shelf sounded crisp. Alyssa grasps the book in her arms, relying on its stability for her nerves.

"Both of our sight has only shut off and it's...never permanent." The soft voice added a better explanation, hoping to ease the girl's agitation. "It just takes a little while to come back. And it tends to return faster when..."

The sensation in her chest tightens, the need to force herself to calm down battled with the need to fall apart right there.
It would take longer, would it not?
The mental construct of the school library began to melt and sag.
Her heart raced. What if she failed to bring back this girl's sight?
"W-When..."
Shiver.
Why do I always mess up this way?
Despairing words mirroring the worst of her thoughts began to infect the shelves, the walls, scrawling over the book in her grasp even: _{useless, useless girl. Look what you done! You should have paid attention, none of this would have happened!}
Alyssa forces the mental construct away from her, shattering the world into shards, each melting into darkness.
Breathe in.

"We're both as calm as possible." Alyssa exhales the rest of her words. She reached out to the shelves, having vague recollection that there was an open space close by so she can set the books away from the aisle. Her hand would bump against an arm, presumably belonging to the one that she had blinded.

And the worst scenario happens at that moment: a pulse visible to Alyssa alone flicks at the point of contact. The familiar weight and feel of the hard cover book in her hand drains away. The cool of the air dissipates and any presence that was the school library falls away from her. The void, the world the blonde was already familiar with but for the poor girl she blinded...there was barely time to warn her! Alyssa reached out to grasp the girl's arm, despite the numbness overtaking her.

"Please miss. Whatever you see, whatever you feel next: stay calm."

As if a spell was cast with just those words, the world would fall away, leaving the Brit in a physical and mental void. Any anchors of reality would no longer felt such as the familiar presence of the bookcase behind her, the cool of the air - nothing would be felt or seen, but at least her hearing was intact.

But a void was problematic still, for the mind wanders to strange territories without a grounding in reality.

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

Penny had assumed that this was due to somebody’s ability, and it didn't surprise her to hear that it was what the girl was born with. That information, however, did not help the situation. At the lack of sight, Penelope was starting to feel more aware of her other senses as they tried to make up for the loss of vision.

Never permanent was…good. Penny’s jaw tightened. It wasn’t the best way to word it either. Never permanent could still mean years. She took in another sharp breath.

Calm. Stay calm. The girl was trying to help, but Penny found her words to be less than encouraging. Her faltering voice made it clear that she, too, wasn’t confident about how this would turn out.

At the minimal contact, Penny jerked away from it, almost violently. Physical contact was always unwanted for the Brit, and in this case it was even more so. With sudden blindness, it could be easy to understand why someone would even seek it out, but Penelope was an exception to the rule.

“Don’t---“ her words cut off at she felt an unfamiliar hand grab her arm. Again, she attempted to pull away, but the other’s grip was too tight.

The girl’s next statement was definitely not calming. Penny could feel her anxiety shoot up at it. What was she going to see? Feel? In these situations, people were only told to stay calm because whatever was coming next was— She exhaled quickly at the thought.

Penny slowly started to lose feeling of the girl’s grip on her arm, along with the rest of her limbs. As she started to lose the feeling of air in her lungs, she desperately tried to breathe even harder. She wasn’t suffocating, but she felt nothing.

[Alyssa Ramius]

This was a familiar world, a darkness that was welcoming to the nervous blonde. The path was familiar: to materialize her body from the darkness using the glimmers of light from her own energy signature. All beings had them, strings of lights that connected together taking the form of the nervous system. Long ago it had been difficult to even imagine at all. This was the easy part, the seamless part, she thought as she looked down at her now formed hands, skin, clothes and all.

The problem however was still apparent. Alyssa paced in the darkness, steps absent of sound and wringing her hands together in rising apprehension. Great, it was just like her to further make a situation go from bad to worse! And that poor girl...oh, she must be terrified! This was not a place to be without a guide, without a clear mind, and without a path! The mind of the unprepared would see the strangest of things, most painful of things: flashes of memory, images one may not be ready to deal with!
Was she okay-

Get a grip!

Alyssa grits her teeth, forcing herself to stop pacing. What was she doing? Worrying was doing little at this moment except for screwing with her mind, if she managed to look around her now. Strange shadows flickered, vaporous beings with hallowed eyes pulsed in and out of the dark; she didn't have to look to be aware of that. No, more importantly there was someone she had brought into this space, no matter how inadverdant it had been. The least she could do now was guide the girl out.
But...would the girl hear her?
Would she want to hear, trust the words of the instigator of all this?

Alyssa lifted her head into the looming darkness above, breathing, trying to minimize the growing tightness of her chest and expand her shortened breaths. Small flickers of auditory intrusions from reality sparked in and out, but never formed into concrete images. A clock ticked, a page turned here and there, managing to sound close yet feel distant. Her hearing! If Alyssa had her hearing still, chances are that the girl was certain to sill have hers!
Or she hoped at least. Really, dearly hoped.

The blonde bit her lip before speaking, leveling her voice enough for the girl to hear her. Last she recalled of the waking world, she was still close by enough.

"Miss. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry about all this."

The words echoed here, it always did when it came to connecting with the seperate mind of another. Alyssa tried not to have her voice waver, but every word were reminders, ghosts of words she passed on before to others before. Fear remained, intangible fear that became real here if Alyssa lost resolve. The fears even began to bleed in by whispers, whispers that haunted her in the past, those that surrounded her and tainted her head with painful words.
_{Still trash. Worthless. You were careless. No one needs you. No wonder no one wants to be near yo-}

"I-I know I caused this...and where you are must look and feel terrifying. But I know this place well, I can guide you out. Just please, hear me and follow me."

A door carved from amethyst materializes from in the darkness, tearing the whispers from their hiding places and dragging them inside. The whispers raise their voices in vain, desiring to shake Alyssa from her resolve before dissolving into vapor. The door would shut behind her and melt away into the darkness, leaving the girl in comforting quiet and the single duty she must carry out.
Help her.
Help her out of here.
And don't fail.

"Don't shut me away."

[Penelope Serrano-Blaise]

In the darkness, Penelope was sure she felt cold. Then again, she couldn't feel anything; it was a thought simply due to the blackness that surrounded her. She felt alone. Given, the Brit normally enjoyed being left to her own company, but this was different. There was nothing.

She tightened her grip around an object, something she wasn't even registering it was there due to her inability to feel it. Still, it triggered a memory.

But this was different.

It was broken. A series of broken memories starting to fly past her. As if her mind and physical body couldn't determine what she was seeing. Faces were distorted. There were memories that weren't her own, and then there were some that were.

Penelope put a hand to her head, wishing to somehow push the sights away. But it was useless. She heard voices – memories – that differed from what she was seeing. Felt emotions that weren't her own. There was no order, and no way to stop it.

Somewhere amongst the voices, Penelope heard one of the girl who had been speaking to her before. It stood out, somehow. “Let me out of here,” Penny got out after moments; had she been able to physically feel anything, the Brit would have realized she was crying. Desperate. “Please.”

There was too much going on for Penelope to make out anything clearly. It felt impossible to track where her voice was coming from, especially as memories came and went. “I don't know where you are.” How could she follow something as such? “I don't know where I am.” Her voice was shaking. Terrified.