Inevitable (Gryphon)

[Deleted]

This didn't happen very often.  It had before, but very rarely.  And it was never good.

Kodi stared at the envelope in his hands, his fingers slightly trembling as he paced back and forth in his room.  The names posted on the return address label were enough to make his heart race and breath shallow, sending him into a near panic-attack just from seeing them.

Stop being a pussy and just open it, he thought.

Finally, with still-shaking hands, he managed to rip the envelope open and slowly unfold the letter inside.  Maybe this time, they would finally apologize, finally say they'd changed their minds and accepted him...  Like parents ought to do no matter what their child was like.

The southern boy quickly scanned the words within, and the rage built.  Why had he thought they might write anything different?  A trickle of loss and despair began to sink in as he finished off by reading those two names once again, but he quickly smothered the weak emotions with fury and outrage.

They hated him.  Despised him.  That he was being punished, being a meta.  Told him he had to change his ways or he would go to Hell.  It wasn't anything new, but it still stung like a bitch.

Kodi ripped the letter into tiny pieces and shoved them into the trash, resisting the urge to burn the damn lot too.  He began pacing back and forth once again, this time faster, with more intent, until he snarled and stalked out of his room, blood boiling.  He had to get out of there.  He had to... Run away from it.  Someone was going to pay for this.

As the dentokinetic stormed down the hallway, he ignored a guy approaching him.  Some nobody that he didn't give two shits about.  At least, not until he heard a snicker and the words,"What's wrong, faggot?" cockily spewed from the boy's mouth.

Without a second thought, Kodi lashed out and grabbed the guy by the neck, pinning him against the wall.  All of the guy's cockiness vanished and his face paled as he struggled against the vice-like grip.

"H-h-hey, I didn't mean anything, don't-"  His voice was cut off as the hand around his neck tightened.

"I hate people like you, you know that?" Kodi seethed.  With another snarl, he drew back and punched the guy in the stomach, resulting in a yelp and a "Fuck you!"

But Kodi's vision was narrowing, going red.  Someone needs to pay...

He let go of his grasp around the guy's neck, only to begin pummeling him, his face and abdomen and anywhere where he knew would cause a good deal of pain.  Kodi's teeth were sharp, protruding, a fierce, furious scowl in place as he threw the boy to the ground and continued to batter him senseless.  "I HATE YOU!" he yelled, shoving his heel into the guy's gut.  All he could see was the fight - or, really, it was just a beating - before him; everything else was gone, unimportant.

[Gryphon Matsuoka]

There had been a lot on Gryphon's mind recently. A lot of those things revolved around Kodi, but by this point, he kind of expected as such and let that be. And then there was his wrist, broken for a little over two weeks. Having it in a cast was as restricting as always, but he'd been coping better and it wasn't as much of a problem any-more. It would be better if it wasn't injured at all, but he was just going to have to be patient.

Had fate not been playing its cards as it was, Gryphon would've turned the corner in the halls after going to help at another dance practise and he would've gone back to his dorm and been left to ponder what else he could do today. But that wasn't the case, apparently.

He was walking at a pretty casual pace beforehand - he wasn't really in a hurry or anything anyway. Besides, the more time he had to walk around and not be bored out of his mind the better. He heard some scuffling and didn't think much of it... until he heard that shout. His voice. Kodi.

Gryphon bolted, running straight to the source, where... what the fuck. Gryph practically skidded on his heels and froze; in front of him was a sight he never wanted to see. Kodi couldn't see him - he was behind the blonde boy. He had said this, though, warned him of this, he'd messed with people's heads and 'fucked them up', but... Gryphon hadn't expected this. Not right now, anyway. How were you supposed to prepare yourself for anything like this? Especially when the seriousness and urgency of the situation hit you like a brick wall - he had no idea what to do. Kodiak seemed to be raging with anger, touching him could make him lash out. But he needed to do something... something.

"K-Kodi..." he tried to speak calmly, keeping a hesitant distance between them, wondering if the boy would even hear his stuttering voice, "Kodi," Fuck, what the hell was he supposed to say? He approached the boy and put his good arm on the boy's shoulder, trying to help in some fashion that he didn't understand. What... what could he do?

[Deleted]

Kodi was totally ignorant to the approaching boy, still caught up in pummeling his victim half to death, much like Oriel had done to him when Kodi had chomped onto his Phoenix. At least he had a reason - at least this wasn't unprovoked. Someone has to pay...

The boy was wheezing beneath him, his lower lip split and bloody, his shirt torn and bruises surely forming under his shirt. "You think it's funny t'call people names? To ridicule them for somethin' they can't control?" he snarled. Even though Kodi did it to himself, he still had to get all this pent-up anger out... Somehow.

When Gryphon spoke his name, Kodi barely registered it. Didn't recognize his voice, or turn around; everything seemed distorted, distant. He kicked at the figure underneath him again, a sharp blow to the side, and bared his sharpened teeth. When Kodi finally felt the actual touch on his shoulder, he whipped around, automatically lashing out and growling, shoving off the arm of the person that had dared to touch him. "Who the fuck-!"

... No. No no no no no...

Kodi had thought Gryphon was an adult, or something, maybe another student that wanted to fight. Seeing the boy's familiar face made him freeze, eyes going wide, and he took a horrified step back, teeth still poking out over his bottom lip. "... No...." he whispered, bumping his back against the wall. "You ain't supposed... T'see this..." Yet Kodi had known it was inevitable. Sooner or later, Gryphon was going to see this side of him, and Kodi would lose him. He'd just wished it could have lasted a little longer....

[Gryphon Matsuoka]

Gryphon couldn't lie to himself - this scared the shit out of him. It would scare anyone.

He only just caught the end of Kodi's sentence before he spoke, a sentiment he truly believed himself. If someone couldn't change something, if it was a strong part of who they were, you had no right to bully them for it. Heck, no-one had the right to bully anyone for anything really, but it happened all the time. But...

The violent response came as a surprise, even though Gryphon knew he should've been expecting it. He flinched and took a few startled steps back, feeling his wings trying to expand behind him. His automatic response, the one that went completely against his morals - flight. He ignored it - he couldn't run.

His features twisted in confusion and concern, seeing Kodi return to normal... kind of. Those fangs still protruded, the ones that had put him in awe before, which now chilled him to the core. And though his face gleamed with shock and whatever else, when he said those words, you ain't supposed t'see this, a part of Gryphon just twisted and jabbed into him. "...I'm not supposed t'see this?" He already knew about it, it wasn't like Kodi had never spoken a word about it before. Gryph now built his own rage up, "So, what, I'm supposed t'hear about it instead, or somethin'?"

If he was in his right mind, he would've known that retorting was a bad idea. He would've helped the poor kid off of the ground and got him to the Infirmary, or something, before starting this conversation. But he wasn't in his right mind, his judgement had been thrown out of the window the moment he saw... this. "I... for fuck's sake..." Why couldn't he think of the right words? Now, of all times? His face and body contorted in some kind of weird, confused angered state. Kodi wasn't about to lose Gryph, definitely not, but what he was going to see wouldn't be pleasant.

[Deleted]

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck...

Kodi caught the flash of wings, the way Gryphon flinched and backed away from him. Words he'd said to the older boy from before came back. I'm a monster... He sure felt it now, panting in the wake of such a brutal beating, wishing he could say something to Gryphon to reassure him, or... Something. But he'd seen this now, there was no taking it back.

He was still full of anger, though. The shock had overridden it for the moment, but it was still bubbling under the surface, breaking to be let loose. That's why his teeth were still sharp, his hands twisted so his fingers formed claws. The beaten boy took the opportunity to stagger up and away, and Kodi didn't chase him, his gaze locked onto Gryphon. When the older boy finally spoke, his face darkened again, feeling that seething anger start to rise once more. "I thought I was doin' better, after meetin' you," he said lowly. It'd been so long since his last... Angry session, he had started to wonder if Gryphon had somehow... Cured him, or something. Apparently he didn't have such luck. He knew that. "I thought you... I thought this wouldn't happen!" His voice rose and his fists clenched, and he lashed out again at the nearest solid object - this time, the wall. It didn't budge, but it split one of his knuckles nicely. Kodi barely felt it.

"Just... Leave me alone..." he growled, turning his back towards Gryph and starting to walk down the hall. "I don't want you t'see this anymore." Kodi was shaking now, the adrenaline beginning to wear off as his deadened senses slowly started working again and he realized just how bad this was. Fuck... There was absolutely no way Gryphon could even like him now, now that he'd really seen the kind of person Kodi was. But what had Kodi expected? For them to end up with a happily ever after? Bullshit, that didn't happen in his life.

[Gryphon Matsuoka]

This felt so... surreal. Yet... Gryphon knew such a moment was never going to leave his memories. He'd remembered thinking that in the past - that night in the library, the time when he asked Kodi out, and numerous other times too. All happy times, where his contended thoughts said 'you'll always think back on this and smile; you'll always remember this one second of perfection.' He knew the same was true for this case, but he would never look back on it and smile. And this was as far from perfection as it got.

Gryph's vision flicked to every detail that didn't involve Kodi. He was struggling to process as it was. He watched the boy trundle off, considering whether or not to help him, but Kodi spoke up. At his new words, Gryphon's head jerked back around to look the blonde boy right in the eye, but even that wavered at the get go. That cold stare froze the hall like an icicle.

Gryph froze... he didn't know how to work with this. Didn't understand it. He was speechless. I thought I was doin' better, after meetin' you. Had he? Or had this just been - Kodi couldn't have hidden that side of him, being in fights constantly, for very long. But how could Gryph know that Kodi had changed much at all, when he didn't even know his 'true self' himself?

Gryphon flinched - Kodi had hurt himself. His first reaction was to protect, to forget about everything else for a second and just help the blonde boy. Just because that was what was needed. It tore into him like a hacksaw, seeing the injury and practically having to ignore it for now. Ugh... very stressful.

But how was Gryphon supposed to reply to any of this? Agree? Oppose? Distract? Before he knew what was happening, Kodi was moving, and speaking. This wasn't ending now. Gryphon followed. "Kodiak." His voice was firmer than before - he hadn't used the boy's proper, full name much in the past after learning about it, but seeing as he didn't really tell anyone about it, it seemed... he was cautious with its use.

He needed to hold Kodi's attention. He wasn't sure how angry or not the boy was anymore, but he needed a tactic. So, before he really knew what he was doing, his arm was out of his sling, and he was using both to try and get Kodi pinned against a wall, pressing against his shoulders to keep the boy facing him.

That was, if he didn't retort or push him away.

[Deleted]

Kodi's mind was still locked onto that letter he'd received; he'd always had a great memory when it came to reading, and he swore he could remember every word they had written on that page, despite only glancing over it once. No, this is what he deserved. Isolation. Disgust. Fear. This was the only legacy he could have.

His features twisted again when Gryphon dared to call him by his full name. "Don't call me that!" he demanded, voice loud enough so that everyone on the hall could probably hear. "That's what they called me..." Kodi's voice cracked and broke, and he stumbled to a stop, breath heaving. He shouldn't have told Gryph about that. He fucking hated that name. It wasn't his name. That was the person he had left behind in Louisiana. The kid he had been before he'd turned into this... Thing.

Kodi started to walk off again, but before he got too far, he felt himself being shoved up against the wall, by Gryphon. His first instinct was to struggle, to get away, but then he caught sight of the empty sling around the older boy and realized how much he was risking injury, holding Kodi like this. So the dentokinetic stayed still, but his chest was still falling up and down fiercely, his fists clenched. A few stray drops of blood dripped from his injured hand onto the floor.

He couldn't meet Gryphon's eyes. His eyes were averted down and to the side, staring at a blank spot on the floor. "Now you see what I'm really like," he said lowly, his voice almost monotonous. "I told you what I am. Don't you hate me?" Kodi didn't see how anyone could feel anything else.

[Gryphon Matsuoka]

They?

They called him Kodiak?

Who the fuck were they? Whoever they were, Gryphon was certain he probably never wanted to meet them. If they made Kodi hate his own name... that was monstrous. If Gryph knew the full story, of Kodi's parents and how they acted... hm. Gryphon remained silent.

He was doing multiple things at once by holding Kodi in from of him. Firstly, the boy couldn't walk away (even though he could easily get away if he wanted to, Gryphon wasn't holding him particularly strong - if he'd struggled anymore, Gryph would've just let him go). Another reason was so that Kodi could see Gryph's face, if he chose to look at it. For whatever he said next. And one of the most difficult desicions he had made - he was forcing himself to look at Kodi. To take it all in; Kodiak, violent and ready to attack at a moment's thought. He needed to see it. To remember what the boy looked like, with his chest heaving and his hands making threatening fists beside him.

It was torture. But it was neccesary.

"Now you see what I'm really like. I told you what I am; don't you hate me?"

"No." He answered before he could think, refusing Kodi's words. He didn't hate him, but what the fuck could he do right now! It was infuriating! "Would you stop? Sayin' that this's who you actually are - that isn't fuckin' true!" The winged boy argued, trying to look Kodi in the eye. "This might be some part of you, but this isn't you." He needed something, something to work with, something that didn't break into his core everytime his eyes scanned the dentokinetic's disheartened face.

Did they boy want to change? He remembered distinctly, the words 'I don't always want to be like this' coming out of Kodiak's mouth. Surely that was as true now as it was any other time? "You're not always gonna be like this." He spoke firmly, combatting the words spoken days beforehand, continuing to keep his eyes on the distortion of a boy in front of him. If he was going down, he'd be going down fighting.

[Deleted]

Kodi didn't want Gryphon to see him like this. He didn't want the boy to see close-up how much different he was than the boy that Gryph had got to know, that dumb, sappy hopeful that had thought maybe, just maybe Gryphon was his saving grace and would make him a better person, or something. But now, fuck, everything was going wrong, and Kodi was struggling to keep himself from shove Gryph off, if only so the older boy couldn't look at him anymore. At least his teeth were starting to retract, the longer he stood there; they eventually slid back into their normal place, leaving a slightly bloody lower lip in their wake.

No. Kodi glanced up at Gryph momentarily before looking away again, still breathing hard but gradually getting slower. His features tightened as the older boy continued, unable to accept his words, or at least struggling to believe them. Gryph didn't know anything, he hadn't seen all that Kodi had done, how much more often Kodi did this sort of thing before they met.... "You don't... You don't know me," he uttered, still not meeting Gryph's gaze despite the older boy's efforts. "Y... You're just biased..." Yeah, that had to be it. Gryphon had seen too much of that softer side of Kodi, that side that was usually the more rare one. That's why he thought so much different from everyone else.

He winced as Gryphon brought back an echo of their previous conversation, the one that he'd gone over and over in his head ever since it happened. Kodi swallowed, shutting his eyes tight, and gradually allowed his shaking arms to reach up and hold Gryph's hands against him, before looking up with wet, scared eyes. "How is anyone goin' t'change me?" he asked, voice quiet. "I... I can't...." He took a deep breath and let his head fall forward. "I've got too many damn demons inside, they're... They're gonna eat me alive." The words of the letter flashed across his vision again.

[Gryphon Matsuoka]

In Gryphon's eyes, this was not the real Kodiak. The real Kodi was the one he had spent time with over the time they had known each other, the boy who was self-concious and a little ditzy at times. The book nerd. The hurricane of emotions, who tended to be sarcastic and a little mental, but that was what made him who he was, and Gryph... he knew the Kodi in front of him was someone else. So he had to bring the real boy, the boy he... loved, back out.

It was easier to believe the rumours he had heard before meeting Kodi now. Those that he remembered fit into this... bracket very well. Gryphon didn't want to take them as truths, but that seemed to be the most likely case. So... he did know little things that Kodi had done, like the stuff to that girl he'd mentioned and... Phen. But... his mind was still trying to make sense of it all, now that had come to light.

Gryph was stern, but showed little anger now. "I do know you." he said, strength holding his words up, "Unless you've been actin' everytime we've talked." Which he highly doubted. Even if Kodi admitted to doing so, after all this time... he knew that the dentokinetic would be lying.

It pricked him, seeing Kodi wince. It was bad enough, seeing the boy physically injured, but the emotional damage that he showed... it was painful to witness. Kodi's hands on top of his... and those eyes.

And if he was honest with himself, he didn't know how to change Kodi at all. But... he was taking it one step at a time. The first step was to make sure Kodi knew... Gryphon wasn't going anywhere. His hands wrapped around the blonde boy's shoulders and he pulled him into him, wrapping his arms around him in the process. He took a deep breath at the last sentence, "I'll destroy them all. Every single one." His voice wasn't dark or cold, it had warmed so now it was comforting, as comforting as Gryph could get when he was trying to stay as strong as possible.

"And..." he took another breath; trying to decide whether he was going to say this what was on his mind or not. He was worried, would it be too much? Would it scare him? That was the last thing he needed to do... but Gryphon decided to take the plunge. For him, this was something he couldn't go back on. "I'll never leave you."

[Deleted]

Kodi winced as Gryphon retorted, feeling his cheeks heat up with shame. "N... No... That wasn't actin'..." he mumbled, feeling his shoulders shiver. It hadn't been... How had he gone that long without snapping? He had now, but it'd been ignited by the cruel letter, which was a pretty big stimulus...

Maybe... He had been doing better... Just having someone to spend time with that didn't look down on him, hate him, or fear him...

Fuck, was Gryphon afraid of him now? Kodi didn't want that, he wouldn't be able to stand it... He would never purposefully hurt him. But the possibility of an accident, like when he'd lashed out earlier, was all too likely... And it scared Kodi. "I d... I don't want t'hurt you..." he whispered. But then Gryph was pulling him in, wrapping his strong arms around Kodi's body that now felt incredibly weak, giving him the support he so desperately wanted but didn't deserve. He moved his own arms to cling around Gryph's lower back, shivering all over from exertion and fatigue and just being overwhelmed with everything. "You're... You've helped... Already..." he whimpered, burying his face into Gryph's shirt. He wondered if Gryph knew that. Just by spending time with Kodi, making him feel... Worth his time.

He knew they were out there in the hallway, plain for anyone that might pass by to see, but at this point Kodi didn't care. All he cared about was trying to draw as much comfort as he could from the winged boy that was holding him. The dentokinetic looked up as Gryphon spoke again, and physically jolted hearing those words. Not from fight, but from... Shock. Being overwhelmed. He hid his face against Gryph's chest again, still positively shaking. "P... Please don't," he whispered. "You m-mean... Too much t'me...." Kodi didn't know what to do next.

[Gryphon Matsuoka]

Gryphon was afraid. But no longer of Kodi, but for him. He didn't want to see the violence overtake the dentokinetic; that image that he held in his head of his feral side was enough to make Gryph know that. "Don't worry about me. I can cope." If Kodi did ever hurt him, physically or emotionally, he felt like he would regret it straight after. So... he'd be fine. He was more worried about Kodi than himself.

Gryph felt a trickle of self-worth and happiness run through him - he had been helping. He had nothing to compare Kodi's behaviour against, since he knew next to nothing of him before, but just being told that he was making a difference... he tightened his grip around the boy for a second before returning to his original pressure. It meant a lot to him.

Gryphon heard the occasional patter of footsteps going by, but disregarded them. He didn't care about them, he cared about Kodi. The only reason he would move now was if the blonde boy was uncomfortable, which he didn't seem to be.

Gryphon felt Kodi jolt and became cautious for a moment - maybe he had gone too far? But... he was corrected. He smiled warmly and kissed the boy's head, "I'll always be right here." He mumbled, closing his eyes and letting himself savour this moment.

It had all happened so quickly, when he first saw Kodi, and got angry, and then stopped him... now time felt like it was going at half the speed. "Feelin' better?" He asked quietly, opening his eyes again, "D'you wanna... go somewhere?" As much as he didn't care about anyone who passed, the prying eyes were irritating. He didn't care where really, outside, inside, in the dorms... it didn't really matter to him.

[Deleted]

Kodi shook his head, squinting his eyes shut. "M... Maybe you could cope but..." He swallowed hard. "... I'd never forgive myself... If that happened..." Having seen Gryph in pain already from that wrist injury, which he was even now risking making worse by calming down Kodi, the dentokinetic knew just how much he cared about Gryphon's well-being. It... Sort of scared him, again. How the fuck had he let someone get so close to him so quickly?

His breath caught slightly, feeling Gryph's arms tighten around him, and then Kodi allowed himself to relax again, feeling overwhelming guilt for what he had done. He... He didn't usually feel guilty. Well, he didn't really regret what he did to that asshole, but he did regret allowing himself to lose control somewhere where Gryphon could find him. Then again... Maybe it was a good thing. Maybe... Maybe he could start to get better now.

"O... Okay..." Kodi mumbled in response, head spinning from Gryph's overwhelming kindness and loyalty. I don't deserve you... I don't deserve you at all.

He didn't know what to do now. The last traces of adrenaline were dying out, leaving Kodi feeling exhausted and wanting to hide in his room for a week. "I... I think so," he replied quietly, looking down at the floor. The pain that he'd been ignorant of suddenly bloomed in his knuckle, and Kodi winced, twitching his bloodied fingers. "I just wanna go t'my room an' hide," he sighed. And maybe go ahead and burn that trash can with the letter in it...

[Gryphon Matsuoka]

Gryphon didn't really care about his wrist by that point. OK, so it was beginning to ache a little, telling him to put it back in the sling and let it rest, without any weight on it, but he didn't want to yet, so he didn't. But... Kodi really seemed to care about Gryph. The winged boy couldn't reply this time, couldn't think of anything to say. He tried to think about it from his own point of view... if he ever hurt Kodi... the idea of physically injuring him was easier to picture. And he hated it, it made him frown and almost wince, watching himself attack Kodiak - it made him feel sick to his stomach. The emotional pain, though... that was even more heart-breaking, seeing the look in his face, how he curled in on himself in shock and loss... Gryphon quickly blanked his mind of these images. They scared him and upset him immensely, something twisting uncomfortably in his gut. He would never let himself do either of those. He knew that pretty damn vividly now, but it wasn't like he was planning on it before. He would never... it was sick.

"Good." Gryph retracted from Kodi when he wince, looking down at the boy's hand. He hated seeing him injured... and now he could actually do something about it. But it wasn't too serious, so they didn't have to go to the infirmary, thank the Gods. Gryphon nodded, "Alright. But I'm fixin' you up when we get there." The dorms had first aid kits, right? Or something... he'd work it out.

Now that his casted arm wasn't needed, the winged boy slid the throbbing wrist back into its sling. Hopefully it would help, and he wouldn't be continually concious of it when he would be trying to help Kodi. He began slowly walking the direction of the dorms, unsure of what to say. Should he... ask why he was hitting that kid? Thinking about him doing it still sent shivers through him. But, Gryph himself didn't recognize the boy. Hm.

[Deleted]

Kodi looked down as Gryphon did, shifting the crimson-clad knuckles and examining them as though they were some strange creature. It was starting to hurt more now that he was aware of it, but he didn't think it was broken. Too bad, might have kept him from going after someone again for a while... Because, knowing him, he'd likely be riled up about that letter for a good while after this, even with Gryphon's help. Kodi couldn't believe himself. "You don't ha-" he began as Gryphon offered to fix him, but he sighed and averted his gaze. "... Okay..." he mumbled, tucking his head briefly into the crook of Gryph's neck. ".... Thank you...."

I don't deserve you, I don't deserve you, I don't....

Kodi shifted to try to help ease Gryph's arm back into its sleeve, furrowing his brow in worry. "Is it okay? You... Didn't hurt it, did you?" he asked nervously. "I can get some ice for you back in my room." He followed after the winged boy, head hung slightly, avoiding eye contact with anyone they passed. He wondered how long it would be before he got his punishment for what he'd done - the kid had probably limped off to the infirmary and told everyone that Kodi had attacked him with no provocation. He didn't offer Gryphon an explanation, either, not yet....

Kodi opened the door as they reached the common area to his room, stopping by the fridge to grab some ice for Gryphon's wrist. He handed it over before slumping into his room, flopping tiredly onto the bed with his injured hand cradled against his chest. "... Sorry...." he said softly. For which of the numerous things he was sorry for, he didn't know.