Inevitable (Gryphon)

[Gryphon Matsuoka]

Gryphon nuzzled the top of Kodi's head, "No problem." Which was an ironic thing to say considering the situation because obviously, there was a huge problem somewhere and it needed sorting out. But seeing as he didn't know why Kodi had burst out... he didn't know what to do. Yet.

"It's fine, don't worry about it." Gryph assured, even when the continuous pain in his wrist begged to differ. Ice sounded good, though. He nodded at that suggestion/statement, even though he was more concerned with helping Kodi at that point in time. If anything, sorting out his wrist would make it easier for him to concentrate on his... on the blonde boy, so he knew he would take up the offer. He'd be stupid not to.

Gryph tried to ignore the lack of eye contact and Kodi's hunched posture as much as he could, which he knew was a bad desicion, but he couldn't stand seeing him like that and he didn't know how to cheer him up.

Gryphon took the ice with a 'thanks' and placed it over his injury... it felt like it was helping, and he was glad of that. He located a first aid kit and followed Kodi into his room. He sat down next to the dentokinetic and looked at the box, realizing that to help Kodi in any way, he'd need both of his hands... fuck. He'd survive.

His casted arm came out of its sling and he opened the box, getting the right items out to fix Kodi up. He glanced up when he heard the blonde boy speak, and then shook his head a little. "Don't apologize. S'alright." He didn't even know what about the whole situation was alright. But the apology still felt wrong, so he brushed it off.

The winged boy took up Kodi's injured hand gently and used a wipe to start cleaning it up. It wasn't too bad, just blood. Hopefully Kodi wasn't struggling or anything.

Gryphon didn't like the silence, but he didn't know how to cut into it.

[Deleted]

Kodi gave Gryphon a worried look, but just nodded when the older boy assured him that his wrist was alright. He didn't really believe it, because broken limbs really shouldn't be moved like that, but... What could he do besides offer support now that he wasn't out of his mind with fury and hatred?

He... Really just wanted to huddle up against Gryphon and hide from the world... Forever. Everything out there was just so daunting and scary and Kodi just didn't want to deal with it. With his parents, with the people that despised him, everything. Gryphon was the only person that... That had been there for him like this...

"No, don't-" he started to protest, seeing Gryph take his wrist out of its sling again, but Kodi bit his lip and looked down, accepting the help with a guilty slump of the shoulders. "I don't want you to hurt it even more..." he mumbled. "Not for my sake..." But he was in little position to protest now. Kodi felt... Drained.

And now Gryphon was telling him that it was alright and... "Fuck," Kodi hissed, tensing up as he looked at the older boy again, clearly distraught. "I... I don't deserve this, you know that, right?" he hissed as Gryphon took his hand and began cleaning the wound. He winced a little from the stinging, but went on. "You... You saw what I did... An' it's probably not gonna be the last time because..." His gaze shot over to the trash bin, where he could see a few bit of paper littering the edges.

What was he supposed to say? ".... I just can't escape from this shit," he whispered, pressing his face against Gryphon's shoulder. "I try, an' I try, but it just keeps... Coming... Back..." He was shivering now, overwhelmed with the numerous emotions flooding over him.

[Gryphon Matsuoka]

Gryphon had those moments too. When he just wanted to get away from it all, run to some room which stopped time while he was in there so he could breath normally and let himself be calm. If Kodi was there with him (even though he was one of the main reasons why his emotions were like a rollercoaster recently), then all the better.

The ice pack slid off, "It's fine, really." A little white lie didn't hurt anyone. Besides, it wasn't terrible. Yes, it was obvious that Gryph's wrist needed rest over anything else, but he could rest it once Kodi was sorted out.
The deserving thing... Gryphon just listened and tried to think of a better way of combatting it other than just saying 'You do deserve it.', which felt... inadequate. He paused the moment that Kodi winced, but continued shortly after.

When the dentokinetic stopped talking, Gryph followed his line of sight. What was in that bin... he turned back and got out a large plaster, not sure what else to do, and bent Kodi's hand a little before applying it. Now he listened completely and properly.

He went to put his arm back in it's sling, but instead it ended up around Kodi. It sounded like... torture, what he was describing. His head rested a little on top of Kodi's, "I..." Gryph couldn't just say that he could take it all away... he couldn't. He himself knew that, and Kodi wouldn't be stupid enough to be believe it if he did say it. "Whatever it is... I know I can't get rid of it, but..." his eyes closed, "I'll always be here for you, no... no matter what."

His memory flickered the image of the shredded paper in the bin and Gryph considered it for a moment. "You can tell me about it, if you want."

[Deleted]

Well, the white lie was hurting Gryphon's wrist, but that obviously wasn't the most important thing on the winged boy's mind, so Kodi just grit his teeth and didn't say anything. He felt selfish and guilty about it, but he didn't know what else to do.

And it was a good thing Gryph didn't tell Kodi that he deserved it, because the southerner knew he didn't. That was a fact that he was not going to be easily swayed from believing.

He watched Gryphon put the bandage on his hand, his eyes feeling a little damp from the gentle care the older boy was giving him. Was this what it was going to always be like? For Kodi to keep hurting himself, tearing himself down, and Gryph there to pick up the pieces? That wasn't fair to Gryphon...

Kodi shivered a little, feeling the boy's arm wrap around him, and just huddled even closer. He'd never calmed down this fast from something like this before; there was still a lot of anger there, but it was blanketed, for now, by Gryph's presence. "Y... You've done so much already..." he mumbled, shaking his head. "I don't know how you put up with me. How you... Could put up with what happened..."

The offer to tell Gryphon about what had caused the outburst made Kodi jolt a bit, and he wavered, obviously not used to telling people about his... Rocky relationship with his parents. "It... Uh, it's...." He took a deep breath and continued to hide his face. "M... My parents..." Kodi whispered, clutching his fingers againt Gryph's shirt. "Th... They sent m-me this letter and... And..." His breath hiccuped a little, and he had a hard time continuing. "... I'm goin' t'Hell...." he finally managed, his voice wracked with fear.

[Gryphon Matsuoka]

If it stopped Kodi from crumbling, and kept him with a smile on his face, Gryph would always be there to pick him up again when something went wrong. It just... it was difficult, yes. But he could survive.

Gryphon wasn't sure if Kodi just.... wasn't angry anymore, or if he was just concealing it. At this point in time, he would prefer if it didn't bounce back with a vengeance, because he didn't want Kodi to get hurt again... or hurt someone else. For now, though, he seemed more... upset.

"Did you wanna do it?" He asked, using some weird tactic to get his point across - although that all depended on Kodi's answer. If Kodi said yes, he did want to hit that kid, then he'd work on that. If he said no, he didn't really mean to become violent, then the answer was easy. As much as regretting things was bad, maybe it would help get the message across that... this was just a problem. A problem they could try and fix together.

When Kodi began to stutter, Gryphon almost protested to say that he didn't have to say anything he didn't want to, but the younger boy continued on. Parents. That words sent a shiver down Gryph's spine, thanks to his own parents. They were not good people, his living family. Excluding Fi, and some of his more distant family, of course. But this wasn't about the winged boy, this was about Kodiak.

Gryph was pretty certain he felt his face go white from shock and disbelief. What... what self-respecting parents would tell their own child that they were gonna go to hell? That was... borderline abuse. But... Kodi didn't say that they had said he was gonna... he said it as if it was a fact, a done thing. That had to change. Gryph wanted to look Kodi in the eye when he said this, but the blonde boy felt like a ragdoll. He could hear him like this.

His other arm came up and around Kodi. The winged boy turned his head so he was next to Kodiak's ear, and he pecked at it a few times before speaking softly, but with a weird force behind his voice, "You hear me right here, right now; you are not goin' t'Hell, Kodiak. You're not." He placed a kiss on his cheek, "No matter what your parents said, you are not goin' t'Hell." Hopefully, the repetition would drill it into his head. Gryphon... wasn't sure of his own religious views, or of Kodi's, but... he knew if there was a God, he would be omniscient, and benevolent. He would be forgiving. If by the time Kodi reached his last days, he had changed his ways and become happier and didn't lash out at people... God would forgive him. And such an entity would also respect who he was more than anything, and would love him for it.

What his parents were thinking, Gryph didn't know. He was tempted to even take out the shards of paper from the bin, and try fitting them back together. To see what Kodi had read. Because... no one should be told that their gonna go to hell. No one.

[Deleted]

Did he want to do it? Kodi thought about this for a long while... But the answer he came up with, well, he was afraid Gryph wouldn't like it. "... Yeah...." he mumbled, hoping that being honest was the best choice. "... He called me a fag... Right after I..." He motioned blindly towards the waste bin, hoping Gryph would understand. "I w-was already upset an' it just... Made me explode..." Kodi's brow furrowed, and he let out a small growl. "I hate assholes like that," he said lowly. Which was why he was sure this wouldn't the last time something like this happened. What if, someday, someone said something like that towards Gryphon? Kodi would react similarly.

He didn't know that Gryph had his own share of parental issues. He seemed so calm and just.... Was so kind-hearted, it would be hard for Kodi to believe that he'd grown up in a less-than-pleasant environment. Just went to show how much better of a person Gryph was, though - even given the circumstances, look how he'd turned out.

And the truth was... Kodi had had this stuff pounded into his head since he was a kid, from his incredibly religious parents and the close-minded people he'd been surrounded with. Gay people were sinful and went to hell; metas were cursed by God. He'd looked down on metas himself before his manifestation; he was still scared and hateful of those with mental abilities, who he'd been stressed would taint his mind and warp his thoughts without his control. He was sure his parents thought it was his punishment for being the way he was.

Kodi shivered at the touches Gryph was giving him on his ear, fighting against the flood of tears that were threatening to break free. Fuck, he'd done so much crying recently... His eyes closed and jaw tightened, hearing those words, wishing he could believe them. "H-how d'you know?" he whispered, blinking his eyes open to stare sadly at this generous, selfless boy. "I'm an awful, sick person. Y... You've seen that now." Kodi took a shaky breath and shook his head. "I... I think... Part of the reason I... Fight people... Is because I think I deserve t-the retaliation," he admitted with a gulp, hiding his face once more. "I kn-know it's fucked up an' I shouldn't do it but... I just get into this rage an'... I can't help it..."

Surely he'd done enough to deserve damnation ten times over. Kodi hadn't killed anyone, sure, but he'd made a hell of a lot of enemies. He wondered how long it would be before he snapped enough to... To do something worse. It terrified him. ".... Please help me..." he whimpered, clinging to Gryphon's arm. "I don't wanna go... I don't wanna...." He couldn't finish the sentence.

[Gryphon Matsuoka]

"...Yeah..."

Alright. That was alright. He nodded a little in recognition and continued to listen to the boy. So, the guy had done something to provoke him. And... he had already been on edge. It wasn't good reason, or some kind of excuse to get him out of the fact that yes, Kodi hit someone. But he hadn't just beat someone up for the sake of it. That was something.

"So do I." He said, thinking about his words before speaking again, "...you can't beat yourself up about this." He sighed, "It was just a case of wrong place, wrong time. And an asshole thrown in there too." He paused, "But that's the other guy, not you." In Gryphon's eyes, Kodi was just as much of a victim as that other kid. And yes, that seemed weird, even to the winged boy himself. But... it was his belief, all the same.

When it came to family, Kodi had most definitely had it worst off, between the two of them. Gryphon, although he detested his ignorant father to a strong degree, and that woman who he had never accepted anyway, he had Fiona. She was like... a replacement mother. Brought him up properly, kept him from turning bad, even if he got in trouble once or twice. And he never wanted to be like his dad - that might've been why he was so... like he was. He wanted to be the opposite of his dad, so in some aspects, he was a very good person.

Gryphon's father never gave an opinion on his son's ways. He was Meta? Interesting, but not anything too big. He was gay? Whatever, it wasn't like he cared anyway. Well, that's what it seemed like to Gryph. But there were always going to be anti-metas, and homophobes. It was something none of them.could escape. But he was happy with who he was, so he could cope with them. It would never stop the sting, that twist in his stomach when someone did oppose, but he could deal.

His eyes met with Kodi's and... Gryph's became softer. Everytime, everytime he saw Kodi like this it killed a bit of him inside. Its what told him to keep fighting. Because no mattered what the dentokinetic said, or did, Gryphon knew that behind all that there was someone who wanted it to stop. He just wished he could do that.

It wasn't fucked up... well, it was, but not for the reasons Kodi probably thought... it was self harm. He... he did it to hurt himself. No, no no no, that was... Gryph couldn't bear it. This wasn't just some hatred for certain people... this was a hatred of himself. The other people were just a side effect. He felt his eyes prickle and tried to stop them, he couldn't bear to think that Kodi looked himself and felt... detest. Like he deserved to be beaten up. That was... he... no.

Gryphon was on the verge of breaking down himself - he couldn't help it. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a big breath. "I..." his voice shook, "You're n-not gonna go there." He repeated, "...a-and I will always help you. You-u've gotta believe me wh-en I say that." He felt a single tear and wiped it away, "And if yo-u're sick, I'll heal you." Gryph knew that's not what Kodi had meant before, and it sounded too painfully cliche, but it was true. He would stop at nothing to make Kodi happy.

[Deleted]

Kodi bit his lip, listening to Gryphon speak. The truth was... He likely would have snapped at anyone that had tried to talk to him after he'd read that letter, it had just happened to be someone that had provoked him even more. ".... I guess...." he mumbled, staring at the ground. "I'm kinda an asshole too, though." There was no denying that. And how Gryphon had managed to get into the situation he was, Kodi still didn't understand. How he put up with him...

Kodi didn't want to be his dad either. Close-minded, holier-than-thou, sickeningly charming in public with a manipulating, dominating presence behind closed doors. His mother wasn't the worst of people, but she was meek and let the man push her around, telling her what decisions to make and cutting down on her free will. Kodi didn't hate her as much, but he despised her weakness. He wasn't like either of them.

He wanted to be strong, and independent. He wanted to be able to get by just fine on his own, and push away any that tried to get close to keep himself from getting hurt. But lately it seemed like it was getting harder and harder to do that - first with Oriel, and now, even more so with Gryphon. And as much as he told himself he shouldn't be allowing himself to get this close to the winged boy, he couldn't fucking help it.

Kodi could feel Gryphon watching him as he spoke, keeping his face hidden against the boy's shirt, but he couldn't see just exactly the effect his words were having on the older boy. Once he started talking, though, the dentokinetic peeked up, shocked to see the dampness in Gryph's eyes. No, he didn't want that... Gryph didn't deserve... He didn't.... "I believe you," he murmured, pressing his face into the boy's arm again. "Y-you're such a good p-person, Gryph, I don't know how... How this... How we..." Kodi gulped and shook his head. "I-if anyone can help me, i-it'd be you."

He took a deep, shuddering breath, then gently shrugged off Gryph's injured arm, taking the ice pack and holding it against the hurt wrist. "Y-you gotta take care of you, too, though," Kodi mumbled, wiping at his bleary eyes. "If you're gonna h-help me... I'm gonna look after you too."

[Gryphon Matsuoka]

It wasn't a case of "putting up with him". If Gryph was unhappy where he was, he would've done something about it - got someone to work with him to help Kodi, or something. He wouldn't let himself get annoyed when he was trying to help. "We all have our bad days." He replied to the asshole comment. It was true. Kodi wasn't always an asshole; but then again, Gryph wasn't always understanding and friendly. It all depended on a multitude of factors.

Gryphon never even saw his real mother. He didn't even know that Dorotheé wasn't his real mother until he was a lot older. He liked to think that she would've been caring, and looked after him like Fi did... if she was still around.

And everyone needed support. There were those who preferred their own company over anyone else's, but even they needed someone to talk to from time to time.

Gryphon rested on Kodi's beliefs to know if he was doing the right thing. Kodi didn't look like he would lie to him... possibly avoid a topic if he didn't want to talk about it, but he wouldn't straight out lie. And also... he didn't really know, or understand how they'd got to this point either. It just kind of... happened. It felt like one moment, he was flirting and teasing him, and then the games evaporated and suddenly, this boy meant a whole deal more to him than he realized.

He didn't know how to reply to being called a "good person". He was happy to be called such, but... he wanted to be the person to help Kodi, whatever that meant. He wanted to see him get better, and become happier with who he was. Even if... even if they ended up apart, he felt he would always have a little part of him that would remember Kodi, and care about him, come the worst.

Gryphon felt Kodi peel his arm off and watched as he picked up the ice pack again. He smiled gently at Kodi's gesture, "Seems like a fair deal." He calmed a little, the need to cry dissolving. He kissed Kodi on the forehead, "We can work together." That seemed like a good idea to him. Help each other to help themselves.