Bare (Lani.)

[Lani Hunter]

It was a good thing Odion avoided saying anything about the pills he’d probably find himself a one way ticket out the window. Lani wasn’t about to sit here and listen to a lecture on pills. No, that was a conversation that would not be part of this whole thing. Maybe Lani was being selfish but he was hurt and he was angry and saying something about his pill would be a surefire way to make this conversation over. Not that Lani wanted it to be over, he wanted to work it through, but there was only so much the telekinetic could take before he snapped and did take a swing at Odion. If it happened, Lani didn’t want it to be over something stupid like pills. From his comfortable seat he watched Odion and took in from a distance.

It was the leaving that had done Lani in. Lani raised an eyebrow at Odion’s reaction to Avi. He had a feeling Odion hadn’t seen her yet, mostly because he hadn’t gotten a call from Avinea to keep her from killing him. Due to Odion’s reaction it only verified what he already thought. Lani wished he knew what was going through the redhead’s mind as his eyes grew dark and a sadness seemed to emanate around him. He wasn’t the only one to notice either. Lani saw the look on LJ’s curious face before Odion did and the cat reached his paw out and touched Odion’s shoulder and the way Odion’s shirt tugged it was clear the cat’s claw got caught in the fabric. Lani wished he was as bold as their cats and wished he could give Odion that kind of reassurance. Speaking of the cats he glanced around for the other two. Shadow had taken up lodging on the arm of the couch and looked from Lani and Odion critically, Darshay had since snuggled herself between the couch and Odion’s leg looking about as content as a she dreamed of whatever it was cats dreamed of.

Lani sighed heavily and hung his head and ran his hands through his hair. He thought he was the slow one, but it seemed it was Odion who was being thickheaded. He rolled the words around on his tongue. What did Odion think he meant to Lani? Did he think that Lani thought it was a fling? Odion was the first person outside his family who Lani loved wholly and truly. The only person he’d risked uttering the ‘L’ word to. Did he think that that had meant nothing to Lani? Did he think that Lani’s effort to move on was to spite him? Lani looked back up and sighed again. It was the way Odion said his name, that strange drawl added from his accent that called to the buried heart. “Odion, I only want what I’ve always wanted,” he looked sadly at Odion. Long ago in a field with harsh and raw emotion Lani had made a promise to himself and to Odion to never force the redhead to stay, but just because he didn’t force him didn’t mean that Lani didn’t want him to stay. With a deep breath he licked his lips and continued, “I just… I wish this had never happened, but we never get anywhere from wishing.”

Nodding absently, Odion was right, Lani didn’t really care. He probably should but he was distracted and trying to buy himself more time to think. Maybe he did owe Jared some face time but he wasn’t about to let the other thief try to tell him anything about what happened. As far as Lani knew, if Odion didn’t remember what happened, chances were Jared had no idea what had finally happened. There were sometimes when there was a lash of the tongue that was too hard to forgive, especially in the heat of the moment and Lani remembered very well all of the terrible things said both by Odion and himself. He certainly wasn’t innocent of the whole thing. Odion had lashed out and Lani had risen to the occasion, but never in a million years had Lani been able to predict that that one last fight would be the one that finally broke them and perhaps that was why he’d reacted by running. Back to someplace familiar, with familiar people and places. Europe was Odion’s place, Lani wouldn’t have know the first place to go when they broke up so he’d gone to the airport and flown back to Boston. It was only after the fact that he realized what a terrible thing he’d done. He remembered the flight attendants trying their best to give him something to calm him, but he was in all senses inconsolable, and eventually he just took something to help him sleep for the duration of the flight.

Lani’s brow creased with worry, well at least Odion wasn’t pretending everything was alright. Locking his eyes on Odion and doing his best to not look away Lani watched his… watched Odion. He nodded, there was no way to stop Odion from doing this. “Okay.” He didn’t unfold himself but he did lean forward on the armrest. “Okay, Odion we’ll do this together.” Lani wanted Odion to know that he wasn’t alone in this. Perhaps it felt like this with Lani being as distant as he was, but he was not going to leave Odion to do this on his own. In the end they would either remain broken or find some shred of what they had and work to rebuild. But that was the ends, Lani wasn’t going to leave Odion to do this on his own. This was not the moment to give into weakness. This was the moment to fight.

“Let’s do this,” Lani replied, as ready as he was ever going to be for something like this. He swallowed and silently prepared himself for the vertigo feeling that usually came with time travel for him. It had gotten better but he wasn’t sure how he feel about being wrapped in Odion’s power after so long. He longed to hold Odion’s hand as well but he kept himself where he was and watched Odion. He locked his eyes on Odion, gray meeting blue and mixing like the storm that exploded on the plain in the backdrop of the beautiful sky. It was bound to get more severe and terrifying as it went but the sun would always rise behind and hopefully the rubble it left in its wake wouldn’t be too much for the telekinetic and the time turner to handle.

[Odion Martins]

Surrounded by the furry creatures, Odion had a hard time keeping his walls up. Out of everyone who knew him, the four that seemed to always see right through him were in the same room at him, obviously concerned over him. The cats were simply more overt about it. Odion reached up and untangled LJ’s claw out of his shirt. The little one was just trying to be comforting, as animals were very perceptive to different emotions. Odion knew he had to see Avi, he knew that she still considered him a friend, or at least a good person. He wanted to, and yet he couldn’t until he was in his right mind. There was no point in being a broken mess around everyone, and he was still finding it very difficult to not let everything fall apart, because there was no one there to hold him up. Jared was the only helping hands Odion had right now, and he wished he had more but that simply wasn’t true. He didn’t like scattering bits and pieces of himself amongst different people.

Odion didn’t know what he meant to Lani anymore, and he was done trying to figure it out and read between the lines. Sure, he could probably put things together, but his mind wasn’t exactly working at maximum capacity at the moment. He wasn’t trying to be stupid, but he wasn’t taking anything for granted or at face value. It wasn’t that Odion thought their past hadn’t been wonderful together, he just needed hope for the future. Odion put his hands together in front of his face as though he were praying, eyes closed and everything. Lani wanted what he had always wanted, and that was to know Odion and be known by him. This rang true for Odion as well, he could feel it within him. It was why he was here and why he continued trying at this cyclical thing called life. Odion lowered his hands and looked at Darshay, snuggled closely to his side. Something inside him bloomed, like a phoenix rising from the ashes. “Me too, but you’re right, and I’m afraid I will hurt you again,” he said, reaching down and stroking the cat, like he was speaking to her, “it doesn’t mean I want to, I just seem to have bad luck.” He smirked bitterly and looked to Lani, because Odion knew it was he had been addressing all along.

There was no beauty in forgetting the best moments of his life, and as he knew long ago, without memories, he wasn’t even human. Without knowing Lani, he was a shell. He was borderline psychotic and didn’t give a damn, at least being numb to emotion meant he didn’t have to live through pain. There wouldn’t be love, but there would be nothing. But Lani remembered, and if he was willing he could remember for the both of them. Odion simply could not tap into the memories until someone with the key could open the lock. His sorry ass had thrown the key away. Odion knew they wouldn’t all be fond memories, but sitting around with Pandora’s box in his mind was a weight neither he nor his power could bare together. He needed Lani, always had and always will.

It seemed that Lani was always going to be saving him from the brink of disaster. The blond wasn’t perfect, but he was perfect in this broken world Odion had created for himself. Odion nodded once, swallowing the repeated thank yous in his mind, as he imagined that Lani would ask not to thank him just yet. Lani was probably more worried than Odion was over what kind of aftermath could ensure after they were done exploring what had been locked away for so long. Lani could only give his side of the story, and Odion knew that he would need to narrate what was going on in his mind at the time, if he could. But they weren’t going to start there, Odion hadn’t a clue where to start when it came to backtracking to last summer. Odion had been saving his strength for this moment, and he was glad he had something left to give. He grinned at his own thoughts and supposed he would always be a scrapper in this life.

It had been a long time since they had done this. Taking a deep breath, Odi continued to focus on the last four months, and held Lani’s eyes. Odion weaved his power through the room and soon the setting was nothing but blackness, afraid to touch Lani’s telekinesis. But this was no time for fear, and Odion took Lani gently through the folds of time. They both knew what the last month or so had been like, so Odion wouldn’t start there. His mind zipped through living at the school, his tears, his wish to know what had gone on in his own life, and the night of his birthday. This trip would be different, it would be like watching Odion’s life from the outside through a looking glass. The two would be able to see one another, and yet still know they were sitting in Lani’s livingroom. The memories would form like orbs before their eyes. Odion had brought them into a time standstill. Just because his power had blocked things out, did not mean it hadn’t matured.

“It might get a bit, messy.” Odion warned, unsure how else to describe what his life had been like during his near recovery process. Unsure where to start, memories began floating around their heads, all of them staring the redhead. Odion looked up and focused on one of them, the first one that came to mind. It made itself bigger, and it was like Odion had pressed play.

In a hostel in London, Odion had found himself desperate and without his fix. It was natural for him to rob the next person he saw blind, and that would be a traveller. His skin had grown pale, his face shallow. There was almost nothing left of him really, so he thought pick pocketing someone would be easy since he was smaller. Time skipped a little and Odion came face to face with the brunet he planned on pickpocketing.

“Odion?” Yes, that word sounded familiar for some reason. The redhead took a few steps back, obviously he had been caught. The brunet stepped forward quickly, “You look like hell mate,” he said, and Odion continued to stare for a moment, before he turned to run.

The other bloke caught up to him quickly and spun Odion around. “What are you on?”

“Let go of me,” Odion said, trying to sound angry but he was terrified.

The other man tried to pull him closer, into a hug maybe? Odion didn’t find out because he was still trying to get away. Something flashed in his mind and he clenched his eyes shut. How long would he have to deal with this unbearable pain?

He was on the floor, looking up at the grey sky. This only called on more pain, stormy grey had that kind of effect on him. “Odion, it’s me, Jared.” The redhead blinked quickly and Jared’s face came into view. His long time friend helped him up and Odion remained frozen to the ground. His hands were on Odion’s shoulders. “Do you remember me?” Odion nodded quickly and allowed Jared to hug him then.

“We gotta get you some food,” Jared said, not taking his eyes off of Odion.

“I’m not hungry,” Odion said, his voice hoarse.

“Too bad,” Jared replied.

The memory warbled and grew small, leaving an empty space between Lani and Odi. The time turned nodded once and called another into the forefront. He couldn’t look at Lani, he needed to concentrate. He planned on stopping after one more memory. With a little more focus, Odion let another play before their eyes.

Odion was sitting in a room on the floor, two months since the memory of before. What could pass at a bed was shoved into the corner of the room, and the space was neat and tidy, but otherwise void of any personal belongings. He was staring into space, lost in himself. Something was knocking on the door in his mind, but he knew he shouldn’t open it.

Jared walked into the room and Odion seemed to prepare himself for the inevitable.

“You’ve been going out a lot lately, what’s going on Odion?”

“I’m just trying to have fun,” Odion said, his voice low.

Jared crouched in front of Odion and the redhead looked up. “You wouldn’t even let me go through the amount of, shall we say dates? That you’re going through and bringing home.”

Odion shrugged defiantly. Did it really matter if he couldn’t remember who they were? Nothing mattered these days, he was just trying to get by. Trying not to need that next fix.

Jared shook his head, defeat written on his face. His voice turned soft, “Are you going to tell me what happened?”

Confused, Odion decided he was getting tired of being looked down upon and rose, as did Jared. “Tell you about what?” He and Jared had always been the same height, but now he was taller than the phaser.

Jared swallowed hard, but stubbornly pushed through the question. “What happened between you and Lani?”

Nothing happened at first. Odion just stood still and stared at Jared. A moment passed, which soon turned into a minute of deafening silence. The surface of Odion’s mind broke just in time for his past self to hear Jared say, “You’re acting like he didn’t mean anything to you.”

Odion burst forward and shoved Jared hard against the wall. “He meant everything to me, you fucking piece of shit.”

Jared pushed him away. “Good, then why are you here?”

Odion swung at Jared, but the other boy ducked. Eventually Odion got a hold of Jared’s shirt and had pulled him to the ground. “Because I love him!” He screamed, his eyes wild and on fire. It wasn’t Jared’s fault that the time turned was losing himself in his own trap. He released Jared suddenly and went limp.

Jared was glad Odion had been gaining weight, but glad he hadn’t gained it all back. It would’ve made getting out from under the redhead a lot harder than it was right now. Seeing no sense in what was happening, Jared sat up and turned Odion around. Tears were streaming down the redhead’s face.

“Odion?” Jared asked. But it was too late. Odion’s eyes were glazed over and he didn’t respond. Jared checked to make sure he was still breathing. “Not again...” Jared said, pulling Odion’s arm around his shoulder and hauling him to his bed. Odion was awake, but he wasn’t present.

The memory turned grey and then dissolved into nothing. Odion had been staring hard at where it had been, and once he had tucked it back into his mind, so did the rest of the blackness, and they were back in Lani’s living room. He had done this once before, so he knew what to expect, however, Lani did not. Odion looked at Lani, waiting for questions or some kind of reaction. If they were going to do this together, Lani had to see just how far Odion had gone and how stupid he had been if things were to repair themselves.

[Lani Hunter]

Lani gave Odion a small smile. “We’re both bad luck,” he said and met Odion’s eyes when he finally looked up at him. His smile softened and faded. In the end they both wanted the same thing. Both wanted to know the other, both were afraid of hurting the other, and getting hurt again themselves. The world faded to blackness around them and Lani was so afraid to look away from Odion for fear that he might lose himself in the blackness. He’d spent so much time exploring the darkness and his power started to swirl protectively. Bracing himself against the timelessness of Odion’s power Lani’s telekinesis surrounded him and surveyed the swirl of time with skepticism and distrust but then they touched and Lani remembered, his power remembered and there was a soothing sensation that shook Lani to the core of his being. He swallowed at Odion’s warning his heart hammering in fear and he almost wished he hadn’t asked to see the memories, these would be painful. He felt the strangeness of the shift of time and yet the awareness of present times. Time still escaped Lani’s capacity of understanding and inherently he feared it. He just kept his eyes on Odion. He had to hold onto the idea that he could trust Odion. He could trust Odion and he didn’t have to fear time.

Watching the past unfold Lani almost burst into laughter when he realized that Odion was stealing from Jared. But then he saw Odion’s face and his state of being. Skeletal and crazed. Lani could remember two separate occasions when he’d seen Odion so disarrayed, once when Rhett had first left and right now seeing the redhead scruffy and unkept. He didn’t care if Jared would kill him on sight, Lani owned him endlessly for the help he’d given Odion. He couldn’t even fathom what was occurring. He could see Odion and he could know him but Lani couldn’t recognize him. His mind wouldn’t let him. He couldn’t see Odion as he was in the past and control his own sanity. But the harder he tried to separate the two the more heart wrenching it was to watch Odion, so thin, so sickly. It was easy for Lani to look at him and declare that he wasn’t Odion. It couldn’t be Odion.

The memory faded and Lani looked across the span of whatever space and time they were in. His eyes were wide with fear and something else. Something else was rising in the depth of Lani’s heart that he couldn’t quite explain. Something that was both harsher and darker than guilt, stronger and more potent than sorrow. It was so strong in his heart that if threatened to pull him into the depth of despair. At the same time something rose from him, the will to be there for Odion, despite the fact that he hadn’t been. The love that had been shut so far down boiled up and overflowed his heart, but with it came the guilt and the loss he’d buried deep with it. He opened his mouth but no sound came out and soon there was no more time as they were launched back into another memory. Seeing Odion there on the floor Lani wanted to go to him but he was frozen and this Odion was in the past. But only a little while ago he realized. This had all taken place in the last three months. Lani uttered a sound of inhuman keening, if this was only three months what had Odion been through in the month prior to this, closer to the breakup.

He covered his mouth with his hands as if he were afraid that he might make a noise and startle the past. The words exchanged struck Lani’s heart and especially hearing the pain in Odion’s voice and the raw honesty broke down Lani’s shields and tears started falling. He wanted to reach out, he was reaching out and then it was gone. A memory. Lani wasn’t looking at Odion, he was looking at the place on his living room floor where the memory had taken place. Any sense of anger had since evaporated and it was replaced with a sort of empathetic pain, the kind of pain that made someone cry in a movie when the dear loved one of the main character died. Only in this case it was Odion, it was his love that was in so much pain. There was no use denying that their hearts were connected and he felt as though he could feel the sorrow they shared for being apart. It hurt to see Odion like that and know that he was the source and there was nothing he could do.

Bracing himself for more it took several moments for Lani’s body to catch up with his mind. All around him things were moving, things were twisting. The harder he tried and failed to hold in his tears the harder it became to breathe. He surged to his feet and started toward the hall. He only got a few paces before he stopped. He couldn’t think he couldn’t breathe. He wrapped his arms about himself and forced himself to take deep breaths. Control. Control. He reminded himself and slowly things started putting themselves down. Odion didn’t need him to have a panic attack now, he needed Lani to be strong. Lani wasn’t sure that he could be. Squeezing his eyes shut he fought against the tears but they started coming anyways. With the love he felt for Odion came the pain of what he’d done to them and what Odion had done to them. It was his fault. Odion wouldn’t have been through that if Lani hadn’t been stupid.

But Odion had forgiven that. It didn’t matter anymore, but it did. He engaged in the breathing exercises he’d been taught long ago to deal with the panic but it was hard to get himself breathing normally again with this lump in his heart. His heart strained every beat and his power beat at his shields. Lani turned back to Odion the expression on his face a mix of pain and sorrow. “Odion, I…” He started but the words stuck in his throat. He looked down at his feet and gulped back tears and tried clearing his throat. He took a few steps toward Odion and stopped. He squeezed his eyes shut against the tears and rubbed frustrated at his eyes. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you.” The little voices started to chime in his mind, this was his fault. Lani wiped his hands over his face in a rapid desperate motion to make them to away. This was painful and Odion was in pain. If Lani accepted that he did this he would break. He fell back into the chair and covered his face with his hands but his shoulders shook, giving away his tears. “I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.”

Lani didn’t want to do this anymore. He wanted to help Odion but he didn’t want to see what he’d done to Odion. His heart had been broken into so many pieces he didn’t think there was anything left to shatter, but shatter it did. Lani just kept shaking his head and apologizing under his breath. Get it together, he told himself, this wasn’t what Odion needed. He finally regained some sense of control over his body and mind and wiped at the tears. Somehow he found a sliver of courage and looked up at Odion. He had had no idea it had been so bad. With cleared eye, Lani looked up at Odion and covered his mouth with his hands. Dropping his gaze back down Lani tried to formulate questions. Like how did he break out of it? How had he gotten into it? What had he been on? “That was just recently?” He asked instead.

[Odion Martins]

Time seemed to be standing still, although Odion knew it was not. They were back in the present, and Odion was watching Lani carefully. Things around them began floating or twitching, as though his telekinesis wasn’t sure what to do either. Odion’s hand of time had long since released Lani, and the redhead simply watched Lani, and the tears spilling from his eyes. It was a similar reaction to Odion’s first reaction to the memories. Odion stood almost as quickly as Lani had, deciding whether to go after Lani or not. Seeing everything still rattle and shake, Odi decided to watch where he stood, making a deal with himself that if Lani didn’t come back, then he would go after him. Odion glanced around as things began to settle, and he let his own exhaustion help him sink back down into the couch. All of the commotion had caused the cats to go into hiding. Clearly Lani hadn’t been like this before, or at least for quite some time.

Seeing his love in so much pain in the present time made Odion unresponsive, except for acknowledging the fact that how he viewed Lani had never changed. Seeing the mixed emotions on Lani’s face and the way Lani called out his name, tears slipped down his own face and he didn’t bother wiping them away. It felt like his memories were the mess, and showing them to Lani had only made the mess more real. He wasn’t proud of himself for any of this. This was the hardest thing he had ever done, and although he knew he had been more vulnerable than this before in his giving to Lani, this was a close second. Now Odion could feel what he had in those memories, his worst fears coming true. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you.” Odion registered the words and that was all. How many times could he forgive Lani? It wouldn’t matter if the blond didn’t believe him. He would believe what he wanted to, Odion knew that. “It’s okay,” Odion said, his voice cracking, “I didn’t believe it myself.” And it had taken a long time to digest, so all things considered Lani was taking it as well as could be expected.

Odion had selected the memories as a way to mark the beginning of Jared finding him, and what it was like to have been there, existing in that time. The redhead watched as Lani slumped back into the recliner, and all it took was one second of insane bravery to stand up again, walk over, and crouch before Lani sitting on his throne of despair. Tired of being away from Lani for almost a year, Odion let his own walls buckle down around his heart, and around his mind. Lani couldn’t help if Odion didn’t let him, and Lani wouldn’t want to help if there was no hope left. Odion took Lani’s hands away from his mouth and held them in his own, looking up at the telekinetic as though studying him, but he wasn’t. Odion was seeing him, seeing right through him. Encouraged by Lani’s earlier words of wanting which echoed his own, Odion stayed put and continued to be close.

“Yes,” he said, watching their entangled hands near Lani’s knees, “and that was the worst moments of that time.” Odion didn’t feel inclined to show more details about who he had been taking home. He wanted to save Lani that kind of pain. He also didn’t feel that showing Lani the first outburst on Jared was necessary either. And honestly, those two memories were the only ones Odion had the strength to show. But Lani’s own unvoiced questions were just as good as not existing, and Odion was about to let him know why. “I don’t remember the rest.” Odion’s mind pulsated, as though it had been caught. Everyone knew pieces were missing, and it knew that Lani could get the ball rolling. Everything inside him recoiled and he fought against it. He had to break through some of his own walls, but others still remained and would have to be blown up if they were ever going to come down. It was hard to be here, but he wanted to be. Maybe his mind had been blocked out, maybe he wasn’t thinking right, so that meant he would have to think with his heart until his stubborn mind could be broken into.

Making to stand, Odion released Lani’s hands in favour of reaching over and caressing his face momentarily. “I need a minute,” he said softly, his eyes already far away. The redhead went to the kitchen and lifted himself onto the clean counter, and then put his head in his hands. How willing would Lani be? How long would it take for the telekinetic to decide? Odion knew that it would be nice to have another day to review the rest of the memories, but he didn’t know how he would respond to tomorrow. He was like someone bound for a coma, and someone needed to urge him to stay awake.

[Lani Hunter]

Lani had always tried to keep his power use to a minimum in the apartment, mostly because of the cats and his roommate. Sure he used it frequently enough that they were more or less used to it, but he didn’t do strong and violent things with his power in the apartment. This wasn’t very strong but it wasn’t gentle as it move things and otherwise react to Lani’s confusion. It was honestly a good thing that Odion had hit Lani with a bomb not too long ago because otherwise he wouldn’t have such a tight hold on his power. If he didn’t have as tight a hold on his power he would be much more likely to destroy something with his mindless power’s rage. Hearing about things and seeing them was a completely different sensation. One could hear about the atrocities that people endured in war zones was a whole different world compared to actually seeing it.

It felt like the right analogy. In many ways for seven months Odion and Lani had been at war. They had been at a standstill, neither advancing but both trying to keep the imagined army of the other at bay while they retreated. There were painful things that had happened on both sides. Lani could hear Odion tell him all about his world, but seeing it, experiencing the helplessness that went along with being an observer was a thousand times more painful than Lani had ever anticipated. He supposed the saying was true, if he hadn’t felt anything then what they had wasn’t real, but he had been struck, he felt incomplete and the pain was the only constant. It felt as though his world had come crashing down again. Was it really too much to ask for something that wasn’t so painful. Lani couldn’t even hear Odion over the raging in his own head. Just beneath the surface was a power, was a beast that threatened to slip through the cracks of this world and destroy it.

Lani wanted now more than ever to curl in on himself and never see the world again, but Odion’s presence was like a beacon and he wouldn’t let him shy away. Watching Odion unmoving, Lani’s eyes stared off into space as though he didn’t see Odion until he was right in front of him. Lani blinked as if he were coming awake when Odion pulled his hands away from his face. There was nothing to hide behind and Lani’s eyes were caught in Odion’s as he perceived the redhead. He saw not the person he’d left behind but a man who had come back stronger and a man who had been through hell and survived to tell the tale. And he’d come to ask for aid from the one among them who had reverted back to hiding and in doing so he was trying to draw Lani out into the world again. Not physically, but mentally and emotionally. Odion was trying to show Lani that he could be a part of the world and not perish from the pain.

His thumbs moved across the back of Odion’s knuckles in a habitual manner and he felt his heart breaking for Odion all over again. Instead of acknowledging the statement of ignorance Lani asked, “But the first four months?” He was afraid of what might be found in those months, if they were anything like what he’d seen from the first memory Odion had shared. He wondered what Odion would be able to see if he could use his power to see the future now. Would he see what he’d seen before? Was it better than it was now? Were they better than they were now? Just when Lani wanted to do nothing more than finally reach out and hold Odion the redhead was moving away again. Lani’s eyes closed and he flinched reflexively as the fingers touched him and it was so gentle and so loving Lani’s heart surge and his eyes opened to watch Odion leave. With Odion gone Lani’s fingers laced in front of him and he rested his chin on his fingers.

Lani waited, he waited and he pondered. A minute passed by and another and all the while the telekinetic’s mind was in a whirl. He knew this would be bad, he knew this would be hard but he had never imagined… Never even believed. His mind tried to rationalize it, it tried to place the blame back into Odion’s court. If Odion hadn’t broken up with him he wouldn’t have put himself and Lani through this. But if Lani hadn’t been stupid then none of this would have ever happened in the first place. He felt the tears rising in his eyes again as the guilt swallowed him whole. Without Odion, Lani’s hands flexed and he was spending most of his concentration on keeping his power from breaking free again. Lani rose, forcibly shaking off his paralysis. He peeked around the corner of the kitchen. For a few moments he stood, leaning against the doorframe his arms crossed and his head down as he looked up at Odion unsure of what to do.

The distance seemed to stretch between them. Lani didn’t want to be so far from Odion. He didn’t know how long he stood there before he started moving. It felt like forever, but it could have easily been less than a second. His eyes flickered to Odion’s hidden face a moment before Lani stretched out his arms and wrapped them protectively around the time turner. At the same time Lani drew strength, burying his face in Odion’s chest, as the counter put the redhead a little higher than normal and Lani was slumping leaning against the counter and against Odion as he held onto Odion determined to not let go this time. The tears spilled and wet Odion’s shirt and Lani’s senses were overwhelmed as his body and his mind remembered Odion, his feel, his smell, his entire being. Lani had never been able to fill the void left by Odion, he only wished that when Odion had returned it had been filled with love instead of anger and pain and distrust.

He breathed in Odion and didn’t move, didn’t loosen his grip. “It’s been over a minute,” Lani said into Odion’s shirt, he was unable to think of anything else to say, he just wanted a minute now, to hold onto Odion and to remember for himself what it used to be like, what it could still be like. There was no way to deny that the feelings were there, they would never go away. If either of them gave up… That future was clear, time control or not, giving up would be committing to a life incomplete, a life half lived.

[Odion Martins]

Odion hoped that their relationship was more than just painful memories. As it was, he wished he could fix everything that happened to them, that there were more good things than bad. Because of how much it had affected him, because of how much he felt, Odion had tried to get rid of the whole damn thing. Because if he couldn’t have Lani, he never would’ve wanted Lani in the first place. But that had been the wrong move to make, it had been senseless. It was something he regretted but he couldn’t take it back. Well, technically with his power maybe he could, but that wasn’t something he was going to go near again. If they could fix things, he wasn’t going to mess with these memories every again. Odion hadn’t meant to destroy Lani, he wasn’t trying to make him feel, he was just trying to be honest. Seeing Lani break down only confirmed just how much he cared, and maybe it was selfish, but Odion knew there was something real to be salvaged here.

As Odion held Lani’s hands, he hoped that Lani was seeing him too. Odion had only ever tried to be real and honest with him once they were past the initial distrust they both seemed to have for everyone around them who tried to get close. He was trying to make things better, not worse, and that was not what just happened. Odion didn’t see himself as stronger, he saw himself as a traitor. His coming back had been something of a selfish thing, but it was also because he truly did love Lani, and if they had anything left together, he wanted to continue. That didn’t mean it was going to just happen, but Odion was tired of sitting around and waiting for something to happen. Time wasn’t a constant thing even though most people seemed to think so, he just knew better. Lani had a better idea of the bigger picture now. Now, he knew more than Odion did, and honestly, Odion was okay with that because he did trust Lani. If he couldn’t trust Lani, then he never really had in the first place and had never really loved him, but he did and would continue to do so. Lani wasn’t someone he could just forget, or try to wipe out, no, Lani was a much stronger presence than that.

Odion tried not to feel every new scar on his hands while Lani caressed them. He had fallen so many times, had gotten into numerous fights, had hit so many walls... Yes, he was definitely a changed man, but he wasn’t sure how much or even what had changed about him. Odion looked at Lani with a blank stare. “No idea,” he admitted freely. Odion’s bottom lip trembled and he bit it to stop it from shaking. “And I can only remember parts of our trip,” he said, his eyes turning more serious than they already were, “the important part.” Odion would never forget that, and he didn’t want to. But the rest of the happiness that he knew had occurred was missing, because one couldn’t be so angry and sad without first being intoxicatingly happy. Odion was having a hard time with everything that he had missed, and he knew that the only thing worse than feeling the pain Lani had already dealt with, was feeling empty inside. He knew he cared about Lani, but he also knew he had hurt him enough to make the telekinetic stay away. He needed to see just how much the price had been.

Odi just needed a second to try and sort things through and make sense of them. With Lani right in front of him, that was next to impossible. Not only could he not think clearly, he knew that he couldn’t resist the longing he felt and had bottled up for so long. It wasn’t just any touch he yearned for, and he had learned that the hard way. A touch wasn’t just a touch, it was more than that when he was with Lani. It was like a sense of knowing, a sense of trust, and a sense of continuation. And Odion knew they couldn’t continue on like this. There was nowhere else to go, and Odion wasn’t trying to run away, but he was trying to think. And it wasn’t that Odion didn’t want to be close to Lani, quite the contrary, but he had to try and be okay with himself first. Time went on, and it felt like it would continue doing so, whether either of them consented.

Feeling Lani’s eyes on him, Odion knew he was out of time, but he also didn’t know how to go on. Did he really want to continue dragging Lani down with him? If he had only stayed away, maybe Lani would have eventually moved on with his life. Lani had a family, school prospects, and even Odion had to admit that the blond was one of the most intelligent people he had ever met even though Lani would never agree to such a statement. But Odion didn’t have anything. He could’ve had his family restored to him, but that’s simply not what family did. Family didn’t abandon one of their members, and then expect them to come running back with tears streaming down their faces. Odion wasn’t sure what his family was expecting, but he didn’t want anything to do with them. School wasn’t something Odion had ever been interested in, and was only enrolled now so he could be close to Lani. All of these thoughts streamed through his mind in nanoseconds.

Lani’s presence pressed in upon him, and Odion didn’t object. The closeness and nearness was highly wanted, and Odion stopped hiding his face in order to hold Lani too. It was strange being at this height, but it wasn’t strange to hold Lani. Odion felt both safe and strong while Lani was there in front of him, and his hand automatically went to run his hand through Lani’s hair, trying to sooth him. Odion was crying silently, staring past Lani at the fridge behind him. Nothing felt right anymore, but this did. Being together felt right, like all of the crazy pieces of their lives just fell together in perfect harmony. He hated that he couldn’t just fix things, that his presence alone wasn’t good enough. He was going to have to try a lot fucking harder than that. Lani had changed, but he was the same. He was still every bit attractive as Odion had always remembered, and he still made Odion feel like he was finally home.

Laughing softly, Odion held Lani’s face with his hands and pushed him away just so he could look at him. His thumbs brushed away the tears from Lani’s face, and Odion was beginning to feel like himself again, more confident. Still sad, but hopeful. Odion searched the depthless pools of Lani’s grey eyes, “I can’t live without you Lani, not really. A life without you is mere existence. I don’t just want you with me, I need you with me.” Odion let go of Lani’s face, going to hold his hands instead. He really knew he was starting to feel like himself, especially since he was starting to blabber on. “I don’t want to force you to do anything Lani...” Odion bit his lip, and laughed, his eyes still wet from crying. Obviously he was nervous by sheer proximity.

[Lani Hunter]

It was hard to access the memories that were happy, because Lani was still thinking that he wouldn’t be able to have them again. They would be lost to him forever because Odion was lost to him forever. Even if there was a sliver of hope, there was so much they still had to work through, there was all of the time after the breakup that Odion still didn’t remember, and there was so much Lani hadn’t told him yet. This was painful, he’d given up on love soon after Odion had gone. Love was too painful, love was not worth the risk of having his heart broken again. There was so much in his heart that balked at the connection and yet his walls were buckling all around them as if they were made of sand. Lani wasn’t sure what he’d learned from all this, there was bound to be a lesson in here somewhere for both of them, but Lani couldn’t see it past the current moment in time.

Lani looked at Odion and wondered what it was that the redhead had ever seen in him. It wasn’t like they were a pair who had been struck by lightning at the get go. It hadn’t been love at first sight, but then again Odion had been with Rhett, then Lani with Adrianna for a while longer after that. He closed his eyes unwilling to see Odion for the moment. Adrianna had been the one constant. When Odion was gone she had been there and a small part of him wondered if she thought him weak for falling back in love with Odion. He opened his eyes and gave Odion a peculiar look. No, that wasn’t right. He wasn’t falling back in love with Odion, to do that he’d have had to fall out of love first. That process had somehow been skipped in the whole recovery process. He’d lied to himself about Odion and he had tried his very best to pain Odion as a villain and he had tried his best to hate Odion, but he simply couldn’t do it. He thought he had, but then Odion returned and he couldn’t lie to himself anymore.

The texture of the hands that he held had changed but the fit never had. It was as though his hands knew something had been missing and his fingers fit like puzzle pieces within the folds of Odion’s fingers and it was comforting. Lani squeezed Odion’s hands and hoped that he might be some form of comfort even if they weren’t together romantically. A smile slithered across Lani’s lips before seriousness set back in. “The important parts,” he repeated and glanced back at his room before looking back to Odion, “I was actually looking at some of the pictures not too long ago.” He’d finally gotten up the courage to put the memory card in his computer on Odion’s birthday and then he’d put it back into the bible safe unable to keep looking at the good memories when everything was so wrong.

It was true, the telekinetic would have eventually moved on with his life. He had people to lean on and he had people who needed him so he would have moved on with them to help him. But the quality of that life was what was in question. He’d vowed off love and who knew, perhaps he too would have fallen into sleeping around but never connecting with anyone. When Odion showed up Lani’s heart was already well on the way to becoming an icy fortress. So could he move on, yes. But that wasn’t the question. The question was if he would want to. A month ago he would have said absolutely, a week ago he wouldn’t have been sure. Today, today he knew to do so would be to condemn himself to a life away from people. No one would be able to warm themselves at his heartfire, for his would have gone out and perhaps then he would have become the villain of this story. Not for love scorned, but for a love lost and never reclaimed. He took a deep breath and he broke his own mental and emotional block to embrace Odion.

Odion could only come so far, there was a point where Lani’s thorn-walled heart would have to open the door to let the redhead in. Every bit of him was still telling him this was foolishness. This was insanity. He was going to do something stupid again and he was going to get hurt. But then Odion’s hands were running through his hair and the telekinetic could have purred like one of the cats for how much he liked it. Something Adrianna had figured out not too long into their relationship, a simple matter of rubbing his neck or head had a tendency to put the telekinetic’s nerves to rest and occasionally the whole person to sleep. It made forgetting about what happened very easy and Lani’s tears finally felt like they were starting to ebb. He protested slightly when Odion started to push him away. He clung for a few seconds longer before he loosened his grip and looked up at Odion.

Lani’s eyes went wide at the words and for a long time he just stared numbly Odion his eyes flickering back and forth as he looked Odion in the eye and tried to figure out how the redhead was reading his mind. Words rose and stuck in his throat. His expression changed as he looked at Odion. He looked at what he’d done to Odion. The faint sound of laughter broke Lani’s heart more. He lifted a hand and with shaking fingers brushed Odion’s cheek, brushing at the tears that wouldn’t stop falling. All the while he was shaking his head, this couldn’t be real, he couldn’t accept it being real. “Odion, you don’t remember. You’re saying that because you don’t remember.” He wrapped his arms around himself and did his best to protect his heart and ended up leaning against the opposite counter. He hated doing this to Odion, but he didn’t know how else to assure himself that it was real. “I remember,” he whispered, one hand squeezed Odion’s and the other hand brushed Odion’s cheek again. “Odion, I’ve had to live without you, and I can’t… I couldn’t stand it if you were to leave again." He bit his lip and took a breath looking at their hands before looking back into Odion's eyes. "I’m not looking for a guarantee, Odion, but I need you to know what happened.” He finally dropped his eyes shame and guilt swallowing his heart, and he needed to know what he’d done to Odion. He needed Odion to have all the data before making that kind of statement.

[Odion Martins]

Odion hadn’t tried to fall in love with Lani. It was completely different than what he had had for Rhett. Rhett had simply been someone Odion thought would always be around, like Jared. He had come after Rhett in America in hopes of salvaging what he had once had with the Frenchman, but their friendship had been something else. It wasn’t a healthy relationship, and Odion had let himself be domineered rather than truly being himself. That was part of the reason why Odion was in love with Lani, because he could be the best version of himself, and he could grow. It hadn’t been love at first sight at all, in fact, Odion thought they were destined to be enemies for a very long time. It wasn’t until Odion didn’t give a damn about himself anymore, and Lani had shown true kindness, that some kind of care and relationship had been established. Odion had also had the privilege to watch Lani grow into who he was, and become more trusting in himself. Odion had fallen for Lani the way one falls asleep, slowly, and then all at once.

The truth was that Odion was still Odion, he may be bruised and battered, but he was still the same person, he still had a heart that could be broken. The past while he had simply done a very good job of hiding all of those things behind a mask so decorated that no one knew where to start repairing and stripping the false pieces away.

Still, Odion couldn’t help but grimace at the mention of pictures, even though he believed somewhere inside of himself that he had smiled in the majority of them. The reasons for that were one, he was actually happy, and two, he would do virtually anything for Lani. Anything, even let him go if that’s what Lani wanted. But, it wasn’t what Lani wanted, and Odion couldn’t help but feel gleeful at the prospects, romantic or not; Lani had been looking at pictures of them, presumably during their trip, and Odion wondered if looking at them would help jog his memory.

Remaining in the present wasn’t proving as difficult so long as Lani was nearby. Odion had learned how to calm Lani down the more time they spent together. But the timing hadn’t been right until now. Had he tried running his hands through Lani’s hair one moment sooner, it would’ve lead to catastrophe. The closeness hadn’t been wanted then, and Odion hadn’t felt as brave before like he did now. He always found it an anomaly that he could feel so vulnerable, and yet so strong at the same time when their brokenness finally collapsed and they were left refreshed instead of defeated.

As Lani simply stared at him, Odion gulped hard, thinking he had said too much all at once. But he meant it, and he wouldn’t take the words back even though he had the choice. More moments passed and Odion was frantically searching Lani’s eyes as Lani searched his in return, trying to read his thoughts. But Lani only looked sad, and like he had done something wrong. “No,” Odion protested, feeling Lani slipping away from him again, “I said that because I do remember.” If he didn’t, he wouldn’t be here. His shell of a life unremembered was a testament to that. It wasn’t a perfect remembrance, but it was the beginning of the unveiling. Odion slumped forward, his eyes never leaving Lani, and he found it hard to stay in this spot. Lani didn’t believe him, not about that anyways. Lani came close again and Odion felt himself shrink away, unsure if his heart was going to explode or if he was going to throw up. Odi closed his eyes, more tears slipping. Lani didn’t want to hear anything like that until the cards were shown. He didn’t want to leave again. As Lani spoke, Odion didn’t realize how hard he was gripping the telekinetic’s hands, and forced himself to relieve the pressure. Showing his agreement, Odion nodded his head as he was too afraid to speak.

Finally opening his eyes, Odion took a deep breath and gazed into Lani’s eyes, drawing him closer with the little strength he had left. “Where do we start?” As long as Lani was nearby, he could handle the past. He had already stubbornly decided that it didn’t matter anymore what had happened between them, but it would kill him to never know what had happened, and it would kill Lani to never give Odion that chance. Odion watched Lani with intensity, hoping that Lani would soon believe him again.

[Lani Hunter]

With those dreams about the past, it was hard to see how they had never gotten here. Sure they had fought a lot while they were together and maybe that had worn on the nerves well enough that when the final blow had been delivered they had just shattered and had said thing and done things they both regretted now. But those things could not be unsaid or undone. So they were left with the pieces to see if they couldn’t fit them together again and perhaps fix what it was they had broken. There were moments in Lani’s life that he could have never predicted. There were other’s that the planner was very well prepared for, but the anomalies always seemed to rise in the form of a rather handsome redhead. Two years ago if someone had told Lani he would eventually be dating Odion, not to mention madly in love with him, he would have laughed. Just like a year ago, had someone told him that they would breakup he would have probably taken to swinging at them instead of laughing.

Masks, it was always their go to defense, if they couldn’t be seen showing emotion then no one could use it against them, and no one would be able to see them for what they were and no one would be able to know them. It had taken a lot of work, often painful, for them to help each other peel away the masks that had become like a second skin, and it started to become harder and harder for them to fool each other. In the end what they feared had come true. They had hurt each other so deeply that one had tried to forget and the other tried to pretend it never happened. It didn’t matter if they’d argued before, it hadn’t mattered that they disagreed on close to everything, it was the matter that they could debate and yes they could be vicious but they could also forgive. That final point was the variable missing from their last fight and that had made everything unpredictable. And Lani was never comfortable in unpredictable situations. Odion had pulled him out of his comfort zone simply by being and without the redhead Lani had retreated well back into what he knew.

Lani sighed and shook his head at Odion. He remembered the good things, he didn’t remember the bad, Lani was so afraid that when Odion remembered their fight, he would remember why they broke up and why he had to stay away. Maybe Odion did remember it, Lani didn’t know, but that was a memory that the blond did not want to view with Odion, but it was one that he would because he did still love Odion. Lani was also afraid of what had happened to Odion, just getting an idea of what had happened before the redhead had tried to rob Jared, if that was the worst of the times he was getting better… it was going to be a hard pill to swallow when he saw the worst of the decline. He bit his lip and didn’t really mind the pressure closing in over his hand, nor did he really care, not until it lessened. Lani’s heart gave a flip of terror, maybe being honest was the wrong thing. It was definitely the wrong thing and Odion was going to leave him all alone again and… Lani’s panicked mind stilled when he looked into Odion’s eyes. Lani knew as he looked into Odion’s eyes.

He released one of Odion’s hands to reach up and touch Odion’s cheek again. “Odion, I want you to know that I believe in us.” He gave a forced smile as he looked at Odion. They had been through much worse before right, they could do this, no problem. They both just needed to have hope. Lani was not going to give up, but he was also not going to give in. Jump back without Odion knowing everything, it left too many unknowns and Lani loved Odion enough that he too didn’t want to redhead to be forced into anything, he didn’t want the redhead to feel trapped. Perhaps that was a frustrating thing because they were both sure of what this was, but on the one hand Odion was hardworking and hopeful, and Lani was balking and hesitant. His eyes flickered over Odion and he looked down at their interlocked hands and looked at the visual differences, the light traces of scars and the rough calluses from a lot of use. He now looked up at Odion and shrugged. He was as lost as Odion was, he also knew that Odion’s power was source of strain and using it today couldn’t have been easy. Lani wanted Odion to remember, but he didn’t want to lose him again to his power. “At the beginning?” He inflected it like a question and shook his head, “Odion, if your power’s still on the fritz maybe you shouldn’t push it too hard.”

[Odion Martins]

It had been their first trip together, and they had been together all of the time. This wasn’t something either of them were ever used to, so of course they were bound to annoy the other here and there. Maybe even get mad before their breakup. Often it was the last straw with caused the haystack to crumble – not everything was so dramatic, but simply a matter of endurance. Nothing had prepared Odion for this part of his life, but apparently what didn’t kill you made you strong. Well, he had been near death many times and he wasn’t dead yet. Life wasn’t done with him, and he intended to live.

Odion would rather be a bag of tricks than a pinnacle of honesty, but with Lani, he could be both. There was nothing safe about doing so, but it was like he could be himself. He could have a heart and still be a thief, he could cry and still enjoying a beer or more, and he could love and still show off with his parkour and magic tricks. The past few months had been hell, but Odion had learned something about humility that was going a long way. His old self would have pushed a lot harder than he was now, but patience was a virtue Odion planned on bettering. And yet without Lani, Odion became what he inevitably would’ve became if nobody cared about him; him for who he was and him for who he could become. But he was worried that he had proved Lani wrong – that he really wasn’t good, that he really was only capable of hurting those around him.

Lani gave his reassurance, and Odion wasn’t sure that he believed in Lani’s words. The smile was forced, there was no light in his eyes. They were tired, exhausted really, and all they had been was honest – it was hard work doing this. “As long as there are stars burning I’ll believe in us.” He hadn’t forgotten his birthday night, even though the majority of it was blurry and he thought it was all a dream when he first awoke. But it couldn’t have been, a dream would’ve been the night ending differently than it had and a nightmare, well, Lani would’ve left. Adrianna’s words from Odion’s first arrival echoed through his mind, and he knew Lani would hate him for the encounter. One step at a time, they could talk about her later if and when they ever got around to it. There were more pressing matters at hand here.

Everyone was telling him to take it easy on himself, on his power. “I know,” he said, voicing his thoughts, “but on the other hand, I lose myself to it entirely if I can’t focus on something.” And he didn’t want to leave Lani, and without the reason to uncover the past, Odion didn’t feel like he had a good excuse to stay. “It can... well, maybe I should rest.” His eyes saddened, knowing it was just another way to say goodbye. He didn’t bother forcing a smile. Lani’s heart was made of ice, and Odion wasn’t sure if he could crack through this time. And he was afraid to see the past, something he had never felt before. Maybe that was why his power wasn’t working properly – the cockiness he had had in himself was gone.

Odion shook his head, trying not to lose himself to his thoughts as he had warned only moments ago. “I’ll wait,” he said, but he wasn’t leaving unless Lani kicked him out.

[Lani Hunter]

In close proximity it was very easy to get sick of someone, they both had habits that absolutely drove the other crazy, and they had pet peeves that had never been an issue until they’d been together for so long. It had been a learning experience but that was all Lani thought it was. He had, soon after returning started to think he was a fool for not seeing the deterioration ahead of time. It was hard to forget all of the lonely nights that followed and the hollowness that existed as a constant in his heart. He’d had to say no to love. Love was a folly, love was painful. Odion being here was making that a hard promise to keep, he wished he could just say that he didn’t care and give up on love all together. He wished he could have torn out his heart and locked it away where no one would ever find it. Maybe he had made a mistake when he’d determined never to love again, or maybe the mistake now was thinking about breaking that promise.

Struggling with honesty in a relationship wasn’t something unique about their relationship. Perhaps what made it so hard was that they had never been able to be honest, lying was easier, lying was safer. The taste of the truth was harsh and bitter on his tongue, the lies tasted sweet as sugar and he knew he could say anything, he could lie about anything right now. But Odion would see right through him, he would see through him and the aftermath of lies would be like a bitter aftertaste of cheap beer. Lani’s eyebrows jumped briefly at the mention of stars and it took his mind a moment to pull up the memory. Lani’s smile was soft and slight and he looked down at their hands again. How had they gotten here? His smile vanished and he swallowed hard. How was he supposed to be an optimist about this? Odion was right in his thinking, Lani took the blame for this one and for everything else. Looking back every time they had had a truly bad fight it had been because Lani had done or said something stupid.

Not just his lies about his boss, but foolish exclaim last year on his birthday. No, the telekinetic had never forgotten that eventful day. Most recently he knew he was only hurting Odion by trying to keep him close, but pushing him away at the same time. It wasn’t good for anyone. He looked up to focus on Odion and not on his digressing thoughts when Odion spoke again. Lani’s brow creased with worry. He nodded in agreement and looked down, it was best if Odion rested for a bit. He peeked up at Odion and nearly burst out in laughter as it seemed like they were mirroring themselves, both crestfallen that they didn’t have an excuse to require them to be together right now. He gave Odion’s hands a squeeze before he moved away again, with the distance increased it was easier to put shields back up. He went to the fridge and just handed over a bottle of water to Odion before he took one himself. Lani hoped himself up on the opposite counter. “So, you and Jared are moving in together? Any idea of where?” He asked because that was the easiest thing he could think of at the moment to abruptly change the subject.

He sniffled a little bit with residual tears and he wiped his eyes dry on his sleeves. He didn’t used to be someone who cried so easily. Well, he wouldn’t say he cried easily now, it was just too much for his heart to take. He should know better though. Tears never fixed anything. If they did then Odion would have come back long ago. Lani let out a breath and his legs swayed slightly as they hung in the air. He wasn’t sure what this was and he wasn’t sure what to say because one the one hand he wanted to talk, but on the other hand he still felt like there were things that would have to wait to be discussed when they were more sure of what this was. He took a deep breath and scratched his head. It had never been hard to talk to Odion before. In fact it felt like it had gone from the easiest thing in the world to the hardest thing. “You feeling okay?” He asked concerned by the spacing out, but then Odion came to the conclusion that he would wait. Lani nodded, relieved. “If you need to lay down or something…” He shrugged, they had a couch after all and it was unoccupied.

[Odion Martins]

Still, even though Odion had found Lani annoying at times, he was the only person Odion could actually be with for more than a few hours at a time. And besides, there had to have been some motivation to stay, and surely they had a good time together before the last straw caused everything, good and bad, to come tumbling down. But Odion wasn’t sure how long he could play the part of humpty dumpty – how many times could be fall and get pieced back together again? Behind rose coloured glasses it was easier to see annoyances as adorable, or lies forgivable. Yes love was a folly, and painful, and often times insane, but it was also beautiful and fulfilling.

Being the good story teller that he was, Odion found it a lot easier to just make things up as he went in order to protect himself. Normally he was very good at remembering the little lies he told people, but that wouldn’t even be a possibility in his current state. When things were like this, it was simply easier to be honest – his real life was dramatic enough already, and he couldn’t even remember truths, let alone lies. So Odion meant the words he said, even the silly things like stars and belief. It couldn’t be a lie though, since he figured if some day there weren’t any more stars aglow, humans would also cease to exist. And at that point, he probably wouldn’t care about love.

Wondering where Lani’s sudden laughter had come from, Odion couldn’t help but grin. “What?” He asked. Maybe Lani was thinking the same thing as he was, or maybe something else had crossed his mind. Odion was still as interested now as he was before over trying to figure Lani out, even though he knew he never would, it was all part of the allure. Odion continued to grin as his hands fell in on themselves, and he watched Lani move around. Cracking the bottle open, Odion nodded a little bit. “Well, I think we might get a place downtown somewhere.” But Odion didn’t really care about the location, and neither did Jared apparently – the bloke had been keeping a savings account and Odion had had no idea Jared was capable of thinking ahead even an hour into the future. It was something Odion planned on contributing to.

Unaffected by the aftermath of many tears, Odion simply stared at the floor between them. There were so many rifts between them, what was one more? Odi nodded, he was feeling okay. He wasn’t feeling much of anything right now to be honest. More tired than anything, but he felt pleasantly numb. He had shown Lani one of the most difficult times in his life and no one had died. One step forward. Odion laughed a little into his water bottle as Lani offered a place to lie down. Odion swallowed the water and shook his head. “No, I’m quite alright.” They weren’t time travelling right now, only the present was weighing in on them. Odion looked down at his water, “These are terrible of the environment,” he commented, echoing his earlier thoughts about stars and whatnot. It didn't feel like small talk, not really. It felt like something he would pick at.

[Lani Hunter]

Adrianna had tried to talk him into the same understanding seven months ago and she had failed. Lani’d touched and he’d been burned, he didn’t want to feel the endless longing and pain again. With Odion here it was hard to hold onto that. He wanted nothing more than to go back to holding Odion, but at the same time he just wanted to protect his heart. He bit his lip, no one had ever said that love would be this hard. He knew that every moment they spent together couldn’t be easy, couldn’t be magical. But in all of the time they’d been together Lani had never regretted a moment, even the bad ones that had felt so soul crushing. The only regret he had was the scheme that had led to their breakup, maybe Odion had forgiven him, but Lani hadn’t come to terms with that. Having Odion’s forgiveness from earlier was helping Lani rectify this in his mind.

Stars did not burn on into eternity, and Lani wasn’t foolish enough to claim knowledge of what came after this life. In many ways life felt dragging on and wearying, in many others if felt like the blink an eye. Lani’s first reaction was to shake his head and mutter, “Nothing.” He ducked his head and distracted himself a bit and realized it wasn’t doing anyone any good. “Just thinking,” he elaborated and realized that was probably even worse than just saying ‘nothing’. He shrugged and groped for words before he tried to elaborate again. How was he supposed to tell Odion that it was kind of humorous that they both looked like the other had kicked their puppy when the conversation lapsed. It really wasn’t that funny thinking back, maybe he just needed something to distract himself. “I just think we were thinking the same thing,” he admitted finally with a sheepish grin and went about getting Odion something to drink.

Lani nodded and made a mental note, “Are you still sleeping at the school?” Lani asked hesitantly, almost like he was afraid of the answer. He again had a desire to offer his couch, but being close to Odion was a challenge and he wasn’t sure that it would be a good thing for either of them. As much as Lani hated to admit it, he had spent so much time and energy distancing himself from people that having someone come in and close that distance without any effort was exhausting. Lani wanted nothing more than to be with Odion, but he couldn’t control his emotions when Odion was around, they were all over the place, oscillating from anger to love and back again in a heartbeat. He made a mental note to meditate. This was ridiculous. Seven months he’d gone without a telekinetic outburst and Odion comes back and he’d had more than he could count in a week. Granted, he hadn’t really been using his power before, not like he had when he and Odion were training, not when he and his power were the most connected.

In a sense when Odion left Lani’s heart went with him and piece of his identity and his power and he didn’t know each other anymore. Now that Odion was back, his power meshed seamlessly with him, which also consequently connected it back to his emotions. He couldn’t freeze over his heart any longer. Lani gave a smile and took another drink. Hearing Odion’s voice and his laughter, even quiet and short was like listening to an old song that he’d forgotten that he loved. “I know,” Lani said, “But we recycle.” Lani sifted through his head for a few moments looking for something to say. “The universe always has ways of fixing itself. The Earth as well.” Odion had accidentally gotten Lani on a soapbox now. “Everything about the world is balance,” he said holding up his water and looking through it in Odion’s direction but not seeing him. “Between us and nature, nature will always win because we’re throwing it off balance. We’re an anomaly.”

He put the water bottle down and looked at Odion and his eyes trained in on the pendant he wore. Lani’s power touched it hesitantly and Lani mused on, more thinking aloud than speaking to Odion anymore, “Nature is by its very nature, neither good nor evil.” He hummed a little in thought and his eyes flickered from the ouroboros to Odion’s eyes and back again. “I didn’t think you kept it,” Lani finally said in a soft voice. Lani had locked away everything that reminded him of Odion, even taking to locking the key inside the safe if opened. Thinking of it now he moved his hand and felt the compass he’d fit into his pocket. He swallowed, Odion might as well be made of magnets, he was Lani’s true north.

[Odion Martins]

Jared had been there while Odion was trying to forget Lani. So long as the telekinetic wasn’t overtly mentioned, Odion remained relatively subpar. But now that he was back, Jared was also there to make sure Odion wouldn’t sink into deep waters again. Jared couldn’t stop him from doing what he wanted to do, he could only be there to help. Odion knew what Jared’s opinion was of Lani, and he was allowed to have whatever opinion he wanted. Just like how Adrianna probably had a not so positive opinion on Odion. None of that mattered really. Jared had helped him, Odion knew that. And Caroline had caught him in the right moment. And Lani, well, Lani was in arm’s reach now. He couldn’t just let him walk away, not if Lani was still interested in some aspect of them being together somehow.

Odion smirked at Lani’s answer. “Yeah?” He was dying to know what it was that Lani was thinking, but he wasn’t willing to pry further. Odion watched Lani move about, and without wanting to sound too much like a stalker, he knew he could probably watch Lani all day. He decided that thought not too terribly odd to have over someone he was enamored by. A smile spread across his lips as Lani elaborated a little bit more. And his actions proved the fact – most people didn’t simply stick around when there wasn’t something more to be added to the experience. It had been so long since they had been together, something was better than nothing. “For now, yeah,” Odion said. He didn’t think it was a big deal, he was on his way out. He knew Lani was worried, but Odi honestly hadn’t thought of how Lani might be struggling over inviting him to stay here. It wasn’t something he thought Lani would offer, and he didn’t think Lani wanted him here to begin with.

Even with the distance between them, Odion could feel his ownership over time cradling Lani and his trapped telekinesis. It didn’t feel much different to Odion, which made him wonder if Lani had been training at all. It wasn’t something Odion had consciously done himself, but by building a safe, lock, and key for his mind, his power had been in overdrive for a long time. The rest he was giving it now was like giving muscles a rest after a workout – much needed in order to get stronger. Odion really didn’t care about recycling, but clearly Lani did. “Isn’t the Earth part of the universe?” He hadn’t meant to be a smartass, but Lani always managed to bring that out in him. The comments Lani were making about balance reminded Odion of a previous conversation he had once had, one that he knew was there in his memory but had been locked away in his heart. Yin and yang, harmony, opposites.

As Odion thought these things and continued to listen to Lani, a small smile overcame his face – this was the Lani he remembered. This relationship was something he would never take for granted again, and if given another chance, he would rather die over trying to save it, than trying to keep Lani away. Odion’s dark eyes glanced down as Lani looked at the pendant. His face flushed as he looked back up to meet Lani’s eyes. “I didn’t think you kept the cats,” Odion shrugged, “life’s full of surprises and comforts.” And in this case, both simultaneously. As Lani’s hand moved towards in his own pocket and Odion saw the outline of the compass just before Lani’s hand covered it, the time turner felt his heart melt. He pursed his lips together – no more crying for today. “We need our anchors,” he added. It just so happened that his anchor, was Lani.

LJ made his way onto the counter and pawed at Odion for attention. The redhead picked up the cat who immediately started purring. Apparently all was well with the world again. “Are they allowed on the counters?” Odion asked. “It’s spotless in here, so either you’re cleaning, which is highly doubtful,” he continued with a smirk, petting LJ, “or you don’t use the kitchen for what it’s for.” Not that he knew how to use it either, considering Jared had been mothering him. The sound of barking came from within the apartment and at the same time, both Odi and LJ seemed to perk up at the sound. The redhead glanced at Lani, an eyebrow raised.

[Lani Hunter]

Maybe at one point Lani would have cared what Jared thought of him, but thinking back he’d never really gotten along with him that well anyways. They were acquaintances at best, and Lani didn’t blame him, considering the telekinetic had been an ass when he’d first met Jared. It was up to Jared how he felt, but Lani was also not going to seek out the other Englishman. Lani also knew that Adrianna was not a fan of Odion. She had been the first person to know, well, besides Caroline. He hadn’t realized she’d been on her way over when Odion was on his way out and thus she had come onto Lani at a terrible time. If he’d known the words exchanged between them he’d probably one angry telekinetic. He loved Adrianna like a sister, and he loved Odion as… well he loved Odion more than the world and the universe. But why couldn’t they just get along? He loved Odion but he wouldn’t stand for him acting cruelly to Adrianna, which spoke much to his actions on ignorance of their meeting. If there was one person Lani counted on though, throughout this whole hell and uncertain times, it was Caroline.

Lani shrugged and gave Odion a look. He didn’t have anything else to say, he wasn’t communicating very well at the moment. Lani hummed a little in response and added a shrug as he took his place on the counter. Lani shifted a little uncomfortably as he resisted the feel of time around his power. His telekinesis stirred and surveyed the feel of Odion’s power around it like it was trying to determine whether to let it be or snap at it. Finally Lani’s power, with more of Lani’s shields to help, fell dormant beneath the strain and the warmth. Lani wanted Odion here, he wanted Odion near, but he was wary of the redhead and he was wary of his heart. His heart seemed to have forgotten all the pain and protested vehemently when memories recalled and his mind harshly threw them at the injured organ. Distance was easiest because the mind and heart seemed in better agreement but it seemed like it was just the node of the wave and when it crested the heart would win, it would node again and then the mind would trough him harshly.

Lani twitched a little playing with his hands. He didn’t like the idea of Odion staying at the school, but he couldn’t bring himself to that offer. It was still too soon, the emotions too fresh. A thought meandered through his head, it didn’t have to be long term, maybe just one night. One night of couch time, he amended. A smirk played across Lani’s face and he had to nod, because yes, the Earth was part of the universe. And now Odion was just being picky, but it was normal, it was something Lani found endearing, for the most part. He raised a hand waving away the statement. “The Earth is part of the universe and perhaps that universe is part of a larger universe, perhaps connected to parallel universes, but that’s not the point,” Lani said, it was much like the small Odion was making him digress now and he’d almost forgotten why he’d brought up the universe in the first place.

“I couldn’t very well leave them,” Lani said as if it were some excuse. He loved the cats, more so now than ever before. They had really fed his insanity these past seven months by giving him something to talk to. But it was true, they were comforts, and the necklace was indeed a surprise and a comfort. Lani set the water bottle down next to him and laced his fingers together in his lap. He gave a smile and looked at the redhead searching his face. “I suppose we do,” he agreed and dropped his eyes to the floor and his tongue as his mind wandered. No anchor, all the time. Was that why he was having such problems grounding his power? He didn’t realize he’d started humming and he finally just shook his head, well he wasn’t going to test that theory now. He took another drink and peeked up at Odion. They were in quite a state. Bloodshot eyes from crying, faces sore from tears and strain etched between their eyes as they even now tried to pretend everything was normal. Even now Odion smiled, there was something lurking just beneath the surface.

The cat decided to make an appearance and Lani let out an exasperated sigh as LJ just hopped up on the counter. He ran a hand through his hair and threw his hands up like he was done fighting this particular battle with the cats. “No, and they know it, but obviously it hasn’t stopped them.” He gave LJ a look as the cat gave him a haughty look of innocence so impish it could have been stolen right from Lani. “Ha ha,” Lani said humorlessly, though his smile said otherwise. “We’re just really busy and so living out of boxes is easier.” He explained, and apparently setting the kitchen on fire one time was enough to get someone banned from the kitchen in this apartment. Lani was saved from elaborating as Paco decided to make his yipping announcement. “Paco!” He called to quiet the dog, then just as firmly called, “Darshay!” It took Lani a total of a millisecond to determine the culprit. All three cats loved harassing the dog, mostly because they were bigger now than the mutt. LJ or Darshay always started it and Shadow got in on it only if his two siblings were doing it. So since LJ was here that left Darshay. The cat appeared behind the corner of the door and peeked in to look at Lani. “Stop harassing the dog.”

He shook his head and gave Odion a look. “That’s Adam’s dog, it’s more of a rodent actually. The cats love nothing more than to gang up on him.” He ran a hand through his hair, that was another thing that they weren’t supposed to do. Darshay slinked into the kitchen like she wasn’t at all concerned with Lani’s scolding. Instead she sat at Lani’s feet and meowed up at him. “What?” He inquired. She just meowed again. He smiled and shrugged up at Odion. It was still far too early for dinner, she was probably just upset because he wouldn’t let her mess with Paco. Darshay took a hop and didn’t quite make it all the way onto the counter. Lani’s hands caught her quickly and set her in his lap. “You know LJ is a terrible influence on all of them,” he told Odion, making sure the redhead knew he was dealing with a troublemaker.