Look At Me, Look At Me (Mia.)

[Cameron Osiris]

With an icepack held up to his eye, Cam blamed his current headache for why he was tearing up. Besides his head being in a ton of pain, so was his chest. He had slipped into the boy’s bathroom and lifted his shirt to check the damage. Goddamn, at least the only bruises people would be able to see unless they decided to strip him was his eye. Shit, he was such a pussy.

Making his way back to dorms, Cam was afraid that Oriel would still be hanging around in his room. Now the blond was even more glad that he hadn’t brought any of his personal belongings from his truck yet. He’d been here for like, a week, and was already beaten up. Not exactly the warm welcome he had been expecting. He knew he had a lot of apologizing to do, but shit...

Cam found himself heading in his usual direction, which wasn’t where his new room was. He needed solace right now, and someone he could trust. One person in particular came to mind, someone who had never put up with his shit but still treated him like a human being. It seemed that anyone with the last name ‘Bell’ turned out to be a great friend through thick and thin.

This was the first time Cam knocked on Mia’s door because of something serious. Never before had he really talked about his problems with her, but it was high time he let her in. She deserved that much at least. Seeing the flash of pink show up in the door frame, Cam wasn’t sure what to say. There were so many things, but he there was a frog in his throat as old feelings soared. He must’ve looked ridiculous holding an icepack over half of his face. Unwanted tears slipped from his eyes. “Hey,” he said hoarsely, “c-can I come in?”

[Mia Bell]

Mia sat on her floor, packing more of her things. She hadn’t realized how much stuff she actually had, and how eager she was to leave Hammel behind. She felt weird, and awful for how much she actually wanted to leave. How is it that no matter what high school she went to, it was always hell for her… She hoped that college would be better… Maybe some of her graduating friend were going to go to the same college as her, or at least stay around Hammel. That’s another thing she hated about Hammel, you could make all the friends in the world, yet they would leave you behind as soon as they graduate because no one seemed to live in Pilot Ridge. She guessed she would have done the same if it wasn’t for the fact that she had so many bad memories in Alaska. She was still determined to visit her family in the summer… But for now, the place was only a memory.

For the past couple months she had kept to herself, she hadn’t made any new friends, only spending time with Rain, and Clement, and Fer. She didn’t want to make anymore friends, knowing she was going to graduate and most likely never see them again. The one thing she hadn’t expected was old friends returning, the last time that happened her old boyfriend found her and then graduated and left her. She heard the knock on the door and went to answer it.

Yeah, she was in her pjs, just because she didn’t feel like going out anymore than she already did, so she changed into something more comfortable to be lazy in. Opening the door her jaw dropped a bit at seeing the blonde. “Cam..” At first she thought that she was just seeing things. But then she saw his tears, and then the ice pack. “What the hell happened to you?” And with that she couldn’t help but hug him, she had missed him so much. And she had hoped that he would at least text her and tell her he was okay. Tears rolled down her cheeks, “I missed you” This was probably a strange sight for anyone walking down the halls, but she didn’t care. Her best friend was back, and hopefully staying.

[Cameron Osiris]

Cam was happy to know where the icepacks were on the main floor of the dorm, otherwise he would’ve had to go to the cafeteria and he didn’t feel like being out in public right now. Maybe he would if he hadn’t just gotten punched in the face and torso numerous times. He was in a lot of pain and was in some need of comfort. Cam swallowed hard and the tears nearly stopped. He never cried over anything, and he realized then that Mia was the only person he had ever cried around. Everyone had their limits, and Cam had reached his. Hugging her back, Cam was radiating gratitude. “I’m sorry I’ve been gone so long,” he said, biting his bottom lip. Could she ever forgive him? He had texted her for a while after arriving in Cali, but that didn’t last too long. He was terrible at long distance relationships. “I miss you so much.”

He held her in that hug for a while longer, sad he had ever let go. When he did finally step back, he was holding her hands loosely. “I literally just got back, I was going to come see you right away but...” He held his icepack back to his eye. “Oriel beat me.” Ha ha, he was soooo punny. He smiled despite the pain and looked down, almost ashamed. “I think it had something to do with Tak, but now I’m not really sure anymore.” His head was throbbing and the pain was starting to get to him, so he leaned against the doorframe. “Do you mind if I sit down somewhere?” Preferably not the floor of course.

[Mia Bell]

If he needed something like that, Mia could have given him the bag of veggies she had in the freezer. That was just like an icepack, right? The only thing was, that she didn’t know she had been the only one he had cried around. Because even though Mia tried so hard not to cry in front of people, she still managed to cry in front of quite of few people. Granted Cameron had seen her cry far more than anyone else, but it would have made her feel warm inside knowing that she was the first one that Cam thought of going to for comfort. Because, she really didn’t think she was that person for Cam, actually she didn’t think she was that person for anyone. Though Cameron never came to her to just talk, or to even get comfort from, to her it felt like the comfort thing had always been one sided. “I’m sorry too.” Half of her always felt like she had been a part of the reason why he left. She always managed to push people away, and she felt like she had done that with Cameron. It wasn’t like they had been on best terms when he left. “Really? I didn’t think you would…” She had given him so much drama, and probably a lot of stress, it really wouldn’t surprise her if he had never thought about her.

Mia was still crying when he stepped back, yeah him showing up was pretty emotional for her. She always lost friends, but never did they ever come back. Not even Noah did, but that was still her fault, because she had pushed him away too. “right away?” She smirked, “And why would you ever do that?” She still felt like there were so many better people in Cameron’s life that he could go to at any moment. “oriel? Beat… did he do this to you?” Figures it would be Oriel, but considering how she had actually seen how weak Oriel was, Cameron must have been either weaker, or oriel must have been really pissed off. “tak… Everything always comes around full circle doesn’t it?” Considering Tak had been one of the main reasons why Mia broke up with Cameron. “

“Oh of course! I’m sorry. You can come into my room and sit down if you want… It’s pretty messy right now though. Hope you don’t mind that…” She moved out of the door way, but stayed close to Cameron.

[Cameron Osiris]

“I know I’ve been a shitty friend Mia, but you’re like the best, you know that?” He grinned, clearly uncomfortable with real feelings. He was the boy who didn’t want to grow up, didn’t think he would ever have to. Cam sighed, wiping at his face. He didn’t like looking like this in front of other people, he never did this by himself so why would this be any better?

“Yeah really, why would I lie about that?” Clearly he wasn’t here to get into her pants, so, why would she be surprised that he had missed her? “I was pretty much like a zombie at my dad’s place…” he said quietly. Cam had been like a completely different person, depressed and dead on the inside. He didn’t want to quit Hammel, but he had to if he wanted things to get better and he did want that. Maybe he should’ve told people he was coming back the move had only been temporary… Oh well.

“‘Cause you’re the only one who takes me seriously.” And that was the plain truth. Who else would be there for him? Yeah there were other people, but, Mia was Mia, and she was the first person he thought of. A relationship had to have two way streets if it was going to work and he really didn’t want to lose her. “Yeah…” Cam muttered. “I guess I deserved it.” It was better coming from someone he didn’t know than someone he cared about.

Moving into Mia’s dorm at first and then her room, Cam sat on her bed and watched the floor, never letting go of her hand. He flopped back onto her bed and groaned. Yup, his head definitely still hurt. “I suck at keeping friends.” Yes, this was going to be his pity party until someone snapped him out of it.

[Mia Bell]

Mia looked at the flour, a little flustered by Cameron’s honesty. “You have been an okay friend.” She looked at him and smirked, trying to make his negative comment about himself a little more positive. She didn’t like seeing him down like this, though she felt a little warm inside, considering he was never this way and it felt like this was something that would bring them closer as friends. It was always her being the sad depressed one… It was always her crying, it was a weird change to have him being the one that is crying and sad.

She shrugged, “You just always had a lot of friends, I can’t image that you would think about every one of them…” ‘every one’ meaning just her, but she was sure he wouldn’t notice that. It’s one of the reasons why she liked having few friends, it made a way for her to not forget anyone. Because if she forgot about anyone, she would feel horrible about herself. “I think it was a wise choice to get away from Hammel for a bit. When you left you were going through a lot of stuff. Getting away from it all I’m sure helped you figure yourself out more, and want you actually want in life.” The last part was a jab at his relationships, he hadn’t done a good job with them when he left, and he needed to decide if he wanted to play around even more and just date, or if he actually wants a real relationship with someone, and stick to just that someone. However, she knew deep inside Cameron he would never be able to decide between the two…

She smirked at his comment, “That’s only because I’m a serious person.” Really Cameron reminded her of her ex boyfriend, which wasn’t really a good thing, but it made Mia want to help Cameron not end up more like the guy that ended up abandoning her. She wanted Cameron to make better choices. “I just want to see you exceed in life. She shook her head, “No one deserves to be beat up or bullied.” She was going to have to have a talk with Oriel…

Mia flopped on the bed next to Cameron and looked at the ceiling. “Hey, you’re not doing so badly with me now are you?” She couldn’t image it would be that bad.

[Cameron Osiris]

Cam smiled sadly. “I had a lot of people I hung out with,” he corrected, “but I think about my friends all the time.” It was why when he was at Hammel, he was constantly visiting people, trying to make them smile. He didn’t think he would cause so much drama in other people’s lives, he didn’t know he was capable of breaking hearts, or experiencing just how quickly his broke in return. “Yeah, that’s exactly why I left,” he laughed awkwardly, “I didn’t want to just exist, I wanted to start living again.” But he had to climb out of the bed he had made for himself, and returning to Hammel now he was hoping for a fresh start. Some people were more willing than others to give him just that.

Cam grinned, “Yeah, I’ve always liked that about you.” Mia had principles and she stuck to them. She wasn’t two faced, and she wasn’t a liar. Cam didn’t know much about Mia’s ex-boyfriend, but he did know he hadn’t been good to her and he didn’t want to be like that. Cam didn’t comment on whether or not he deserved the beating, because he thought he did. “I want you to exceed too Mia, no one should hold you back from what you want.” He smiled over at her, feeling silly as he held the icepack against his injuries.

“I’m trying,” Cam said, turning his head to look at her. She was still beautiful, probably more now than before. But he wasn’t good enough for her, he knew that now. Mia deserved someone amazing, someone that would treat her right forever. Cam stared back at the ceiling. “How you been Mia?”

[Mia Bell]

Mia blinked, “I never knew there were people that you didn’t call friends..” It always seemed like they were friends, or dates. Did he not consider the people he dated as friends? Nope that wasn’t it or he wouldn’t see her as a friend, she was still a friend to him wasn’t she? She kind of knew how he felt, there were many times where she had dug herself a hole, and she had her own way of getting out of them, however they were a lot more negative than leaving a state. She looked down, she guessed she couldn’t blame him for leaving… He only left a state, and then came back by his own free will. When she wanted to leave, she wanted to leave her life, and everything in it, and she hadn’t came back by her own will, but by sheer luck. “I relate to the feeling I guess, sort of. At least I know what it feels like to need to leave a place to put yourself back together, or to escape..”

If she didn’t have principles, she wouldn’t be a person, and if she didn’t stick by them, she would be just like everyone else, and she didn’t want to be the shadow of everyone else. She wanted to be herself and her morals was what made her who she was. She smirked at his comment, “I’m the only one that holds myself back.” Which was sad, but true, very true. “Have you seen the nurse about well yourself..?”

And that was one of the tiny reasons why they would never work out, it was because neither of them thought they were good enough for the other. She did wish the same for Cam, and she also wished he found someone who he could and would treat as a queen/king. “Me?” She sighed, and then shrugged, “alright I guess… Just going through the same shit… Really” She looked at her dresser and pointed to it, “He’s doing good though, my baby turned into a little man.” Meaning he was full size now which meant he was now a foot or so long. “I am really ready to leave hammel…” She was just done with the place, and done with high school, she had enough of the bullshit that happened in high school. “How have you been? Did leaving Vermont actually help?”

[Cameron Osiris]

“I dunno,” Cam said with a shrug before he tried to clarify, “like, I have a lot of acquaintances, but not everybody knows a lot about me, you know? Like there are just some walls I leave up.” Wow, he was pretty sure that was the first time he had ever admitted that. He smiled softly. “You're one of my friend's Mia, I know I can trust you and you'll still be around even when I'm a total jerk.” Because they had been there and done that and it would most likely happen again, he couldn't help it. Just because he had good intentions didn't mean things always went the way he meant.

“Exactly,” Cam said, shaking her shoulder slightly, “so stop doing that to yourself. You can anything.” It was a little corny, but he believed it wholeheartedly. Cam shook his head. “Nah, it's just a bruise, I don't need to bother anyone about it.” He lifted the icepack slightly and felt around the area. Yeah, it probably wasn't a big deal. Nothing like what Odion had done to him last year – at least this time he wasn't bleeding.

Honestly, they were just better off friends. They had a lot of history together and Cam didn't want to ruin what little they had left now since he'd left. He was really good and treating people well, but no one wanted to be his king, or queen. “Yeah you,” he asked, leaning his head on her shoulder. “Same shit, different pile,” Cam commented, giving a laugh. His light blue eyes travelled over to Mia's pet and Cam smirked, “I think he needs bigger living quarters.” The icepack crinkled in Cam's hand, switching because his hand was getting cold. “Yeah, it'll be nice to graduate.”

“Yeah, leaving helped a lot,” he said, his eyes looking around the room absently, “'cause I had to actually sit with myself and try to figure things out.” He laughed because it was hard for him to be so serious. “Not like I had any crazy revolutions, but I made some important decisions, and one of them was coming back here. I did manage to finish all my course work though, who knew I could use time well.”

A thought crept into Cam's mind. “You don't think Oriel's gonna come back for me, do you?"

[Mia Bell]

Mia frowned, that was one thing she hadn’t known about Cameron. She knew he put up walls, because he rarely got personal, even with her. He was always the happy go lucky person people expected him to be. That was one thing Mia could relate to with Cameron, cause she did the same thing. “Hmm, Yeah I don’t give up on my best friends that easily.” Only when she felt she had to… She shook her head, remembering all the times where she should have left him in the dust. Something however always brought her back around. “I could never give up on you. You’re like a brother to me.” Maybe that’s why she could never leave Cameron’s side, because she saw him as a brother, he had filled a place in her heart that she had been wanting to fill for years now.

“Ah I can say the same to you, sweetheart.” Though Cameron didn’t seem like he held himself back in general. He did however hold himself back from settling down, but maybe that just wasn’t his style, and that part she did get. But she also sensed that he did want to meet the right person and fall in love, like real love, not the puppy love he had felt for Mia. “You sure?... Can I see it?” Her mother was a doctor after all… She knew her fair share of stuff.

They were better off friends, because quite frankly after what Cameron said about him cheating on his boyfriend, Mia would never be able to trust him with his heart. That was the deeper issues between them. While they were friends, she didn’t need to give them much to Cameron, so she wasn’t afraid. But he is wrong if he thought he treated people well, the fact that he kissed another guy whole heartly while he was in a relationship with another man told her that much. Not to mention his heart wandered too much. It wasn’t that no one wanted to be his kind or queen, it had to do with the fact that no one can trust his heart not to wander. Which made be wrong, and she was just full of shit, but it was a concern never the less. “You got that right… I started dating this guy… Around the same time we had last year…” She smirked, “Three months had gone by without him making a move… He didn’t ask me to be his girlfriend; he didn’t talk to me about wanting an exclusive relationship, hell I don’t even know if he was even dating other people. So… I broke it off, because I felt like he was just putting up with me at that point..” A tear escaped and rolled down her cheek. “How long would you wait for someone?” She looked at Cameron, kind of wondering if she had made a mistake, if she should have waited longer…

“I know he needs a bigger tank… But that’s the biggest tank the school will allow, so the move is not only good for me, but good for him too.” She intertwined her fingers with his, “Are you going to go back home after you graduate?” was he going to leave her again? She sighed, “When I tried to leave, I hadn’t made any choices except to leave, and everyone I knew really didn’t like that..” She could understand how he felt, if all the people he was coming back to were only made at him, maybe that’s why so was so forgiving.

Mia chuckled, “If he does, I’ll protect you.” She shook her head, “I can’t believe you pissed him off that much…”