Quill Feathers (Oriel)

[Raylaigh Hawthorne]

Raylaigh was in the common room listening to Pandora on his laptop and staring at a blank page. A blank sheet of paper was an imagination waiting to come to life and a blank sheet of paper was potential. He cocked is head at the page, he was supposed to be doing an art project, it was a challenge this time around. Usually he was very good at abstract stuff but the art teacher had decided she wanted to see what he could do when he did a realistic piece. He never did well with assignments, it felt like he was trying to force inspiration so he started with one of the pages and drew three sweeping lines and then three more and a shape started to jump out at him. An eagle’s eye bloomed onto the page as Ray lost all of his attention in the world and started focusing on the eye. Then because it struck his fancy he swept his charcoal around it and it changed into a patterned bird. A mythical bird painted with glyphs and strangely a human face.

He stopped suddenly perceiving it with a smile. Sometimes he didn’t even understand his mind, it was a bird but a human, a face that was sharp an angular but humanoid in a sense. He set the page aside and tried again. His hand moved naturally as he remembered the face, Raylaigh only finished the eyes and when Raylaigh saw Jack staring back at him, anger in his eyes he panicked. Quickly, Raylaigh crumpled it and tossed it on the floor, wanting it as far from him as possible. He tried again and the eyes were dark and open with laughter within them and, over an hour later and an ache in his hand from his desire to get every detail perfect, there was a very different face looking back at him. Naozumi’s. It had that laughter filled, blissful look he’d had when they’d kissed. The memory made him smile warmly, but his eyes drifted to the crumpled page on the floor. He didn’t want to compare Nao to Jack, they were nothing alike. Raylaigh rubbed his eyes and sighed, but love was painful and thinking back on it Nao had swatted him before, he hadn’t thought much of it at the time but having time to dwell fear started to well up in his heart. No, he couldn’t do a relationship, it would kill him.

Holding up Nao’s smiling face did make Ray smile though, and so he kept it, tucking it in his portfolio under the bird faced creature. Starting again Raylaigh got part of the way through practicing drawing realistic wings and feathers. He had a feather of his own and he was spending a lot of time at an awkward angle with his foot on the coffee table and bending forward to draw what his outstretched wing looked like. It was a good thing he was flexible and he looked at his outstretched wing smiling at the way the white feathers reflected light in just the right way. He reached out and brushed a fuzz off of one of his primaries. Back to his sketch he worked on the details and he tried to emulate the light off of the feathers and the light shadows that they cast on each other when in the light just right. He smiled, he loved doodling like this, because once he had a sketch that he was satisfied with he could easily take it and change it into something far different. Maybe these would be eagle wings today, or perhaps... He smiled and decided they would be the wings of Pegasus today. Raylaigh was caught up in his fantasy world, the details again taking his mind away from the present.

[Deleted]

So, random occurrence. Oriel was on a mission, and not so much of a mission as it was an errand for his boyfriend, to said boyfriends room which he didn’t occupy much anymore because they were practically a fucking married couple nowadays and Phoenix spent most of his days either at work or training or in Oriel’s dorm, eating Oriel’s food and having Oriel sex…

The two boys didn’t have very much of a social life outside of each other’s company, and even less within each other’s company, so events such as the night of horror stories last month(which Oriel was absolutely not scared at!) and the LGBT prom were nice, one night sociable events that he could tolerate every so often. Heh…Oriel remembered the days back in NYC when associating within excessively large groups didn’t bother him so much. Hammel had definitely made his anxiety a lot worse before it started to get better. He was getting better, promise. He wasn’t yelling at people as much….well, okay, he was still doing that enough that it was a problem. He wasn’t beatin—well, does throwing things count as being violent? And there was that thing with the whole Cam/Tak baby thing…and then putting Phoenix on a leash…and the whole argument he had with Rya….then that dragon bitch dared to cross paths with him again….

Oriel sighed…guess he still had a long way to go. The number of people he’d bothered and disturbed in the past two months was still more than what he could count on both hands. Looking within himself for a moment, his anger wasn’t any lower now than it was six months ago when he started seeing Dr. N for it. It still boiled and seethed right there in his gut and he feared that it was always going to be there. He couldn’t make it go away just because people told him to. All he could do was put on a face and try to redirect it into something else. When he could.

Oriel quickly invited himself into the dorm room 210 and crossed the common area, paying no mind to anyone who might’ve been in it. Oriel often had a one-track mind when he was focused on doing something, not giving any shits about who he was bothering or imposing on. That was probably why some thought of him as shameless…they weren’t wrong. He slipped into Phoenix’s bedroom and searched through the shelves for the requested item…shit there were a lot of sketchpads here, how was Oriel supposed to distinguish one from the rest? In the end, Oriel just grabbed the whole lot of them and held them firmly in his arms against his chest. Phoenix would have to sort them out himself when he got back. Upon reentering the common room, Oriel finally allowed himself a glance at the familiar figure seated on the couch, twisted about so that the wings on his feet were up and visible.

Should he say something? Oriel remembered this guy from the horror stories thing and the truth or dare thing…also from the dance team…and Alex said the guy was alright, and he generally trusted the opinions of his girl-friends. Maybe. He seemed like a giddy, brain-dead, douche though. Another sigh and Oriel rounded behind the couch and leaned up against the back of it to glance over the other boy’s shoulder at what he was drawing. “Huh….shit ain’t bad,” he attempted a compliment to start out. “How the fuck you people learn to get that good anyway? You take lessons or something?” Because he knew that most people took stupid-expensive lessons for the dancing shit and that’s how he excused why they were all marginally better than him.

[Raylaigh Hawthorne]

The door opened and Raylaigh glanced up from his work and his brows raised with surprise. Oriel? That was his name right? Phoenix’s boyfriend? What was he doing here? And moreover where was Phoenix? Ray didn’t seen Phoenix too much anymore, it was almost like he’d moved out of the dorm altogether. Which was none of Raylaigh’s business, but that really didn’t keep him from trying to figure out either. It almost felt like the only times he saw his roommate were at those dorm parties, with Oriel. Somehow in the childish nature of his mine he’d convinced himself that one could not exist without the other, which was why Oriel and just Oriel, especially in their dorm room was a surprise. He shrugged to himself and went back to his work. He kept one ear on the boy, however, because curiosity kills the cat and Ray was interested in why he was here.

Raylaigh brilliantly deduced that he must have been grabbing some of Phoenix’s stuff, that must have been it. Ray cocked his head at the page and then back up at his wing. He beat his wing slightly and it was interesting to see how they worked when he wasn’t flying about. He never actually looked at his wings when he flew, he had once at the very beginning because he was curious about the rapid beating coming from his feet and well one broken arm later and he decided it wasn’t that important. That was still better than the time he broke his leg and wing, that had been extremely not fun. He shook his head, refusing to think about that argument. It hadn’t been Jack’s fault he’d told himself, he still told himself. He shook his head again harder, as if trying to make the marbles shake and he forced his eyes back to the page and let his hand get into motion again taking away the bad thoughts.

The flyer jumped when Oriel spoke behind him. He wasn’t quite sure that Oriel liked him and he wasn’t quite sure why either. Raylaigh had never gone out of his way to speak to him, but Oriel was intimidating and Ray couldn’t quite put a finger on why. “Oh… thanks,” he said overcoming his shock and looking at the other boy over his shoulder. Ray shrugged and took his foot from off the table and made a face as he wiggled his toes trying to get the blood flowing again. He straightened the pages making sure that Nao’s face was quite hidden, it would not do well for people to know he was crushing. That might lead to expectations and things that Ray was not prepared for. He shook his head. “No, well, I guess, I mean I’m taking a class right now for my elective,” he said. He’d never really taken doodling seriously until he’d started this class before, but he’d improved a great deal from the doodles he did on the margins of his notes.

The sketches themselves weren’t all that great, Ray just didn’t care, if it ended up looking bad he made it into something else and then it was good. Like these wings, if he didn’t like them then they might become the fuzzy eyebrows of an old man. He didn’t know and he really didn’t care. There were some people who were really focused and really perfectionists and Ray honestly thought it annoyed his teacher that he wasn’t much of a perfectionist. The flyer was drawing a blank on Oriel’s power and so he smiled politely. Oriel had attempted conversation, it was Raylaigh’s duty to return the favor, no matter how Oriel scared him. “Do you do any drawing?” It was a lame question and Ray knew it as soon as it left his lips.

[Deleted]

The boys, Oriel and Phoenix, much to people’s surprise weren’t literally joined at the hip….most of the time. They did, in fact have lives outside of each other. Not much, but they were there. Oriel had his dancing and drama club, and general dicking around he liked to sic on the unsuspecting. Phoenix had a job which had given him a generous amount of extra hours now that school was starting to ebb away and free time was eclipsing into the realm of abundant. Which Oriel was very much looking forward to, because do or die, Oriel was getting himself some employment this summer! And hopefully, he’d end up keeping said job well into the next school year. Yup, Oriel was slowly, but surely, leaving behind his days of street-rat delinquency and entering into the world of responsible adulthood.

He wondered how long that would last.

Oriel gave it a day before he got himself fired for something stupid, like sexual harassment or losing his temper at some important old fart or for being the most likely suspect when something somewhere went missing the moment he got hired. If he got hired. Oriel wasn’t exactly customer service material. He belonged on a stage, where there was a clear line between himself and the audience and people paid to come and see how awesome he was.

Oriel often wondered if the others on the dance team felt the same way. He didn’t speak with many of them on an individual basis, Oriel mostly just showed up and did his business with practice, maybe shot a few insults at Turkey Boy, chat up the instructor, then went on his way. He’d never bothered to get to know much about anyone else. So, obviously, he knew nothing about Ray and his drawing. “Uh-huh,” he grunted, trying to make sense of whatever it was that the other guy was drawing. “The fuck’s that s’pposed to be anyway?”

Artists, in Oriel’s opinion, were weird. An onlooker never really knew what it was they were looking at until they were pretty much done with it. Guess Oriel lacked that kind of imagination. Must be why he was shit at drawing. “Hell no, ain’t nothing I understand anyway.” The best he’d done was a turd-snake he drew for Erik which sat proudly on the other boy’s desk like it was the fucking Venus de Milan or whatever it was. Oriel looked down at the load of sketchbooks he was carrying and hefted them up. “Phoenix does, though. Shit’s pretty good…well, I think so, but I’m biased as fuck on that front.” A half smile turned the corner of his lips upward. Phoenix was pretty good…though Oriel, now he thought about it, never really said so much. Mostly just teased him for it.

Was it terrible that he wanted to talk up his boyfriend now? Shit, he was going to turn into a fawning idiot if he kept hanging around that idiot.

[Raylaigh Hawthorne]

Ray’d seen Oriel at dance practice alone but it wasn’t like that was unusual. It wasn’t like Oriel stuck around very long after or anything. It made Ray alternately jealous and disturbed, because he had his ex had never been that out in the open and hell, if they interacted at all it was usually frowned upon. Jack hadn’t wanted people to even guess and Ray went along with it. On the other hand, he wouldn’t want a relationship completely made up of another person, again a challenge, he couldn’t even do anything without Jack, which because Jack hadn’t wanted to be near him in an obvious way at Hammel it made his life extremely hard and extremely boring. He didn’t understand how Phoenix and Oriel didn’t get sick of each other after a while. He was so much without Jack that he’d missed him by the time he got to see him. It was so confusing, it still confused him. He tried to push Jack out of his mind, he wasn’t sure why Jack was so on his mind today. Maybe it was because Nao had him all worked up.

Raylaigh hadn’t thought about getting a job. He didn’t know what he might do, he was definitely not one of those quick learners that companies wanted. He guess because he wasn’t home or because he wasn’t actually that much of a financial burden thanks to his dad’s child support and every so often monetary gifts, he wasn’t quite sure. He looked confused from Oriel and back to the feathers on the page that he’d been working on. “I don’t really know,” he said honestly, right now it was just feathers and wings hovering around the page with no clear picture, he wasn’t thinking about the other bird like person hanging around on the table somewhere. The feathery wings were now hanging over deep orbs that seemed to float. He wasn’t quite sure if it was going to be a person anymore the eyes were beginning to look a little too round. He turned back to Oriel and gave him a sheepish smile. “I just kinda start going and sometimes it turns into what I wanted and sometimes it turns into something else.”

The flyer wasn’t going to take any offense if someone didn’t like his work, it was strange and Ray was someone who liked the unusual things. He was a huge fan of Tim Burton and his artwork. It was so unusual and beautiful in its own disturbing way. Ray wanted his artwork to be like that, not what would be typically seen and something that was different. Not like that modern art stuff where a bunch of trash in a pile counted as art. He took the time to have fun, which was why it was getting hard being in the class. Following the directions was difficult, they had to do certain things and go for certain themes, but it was hard for him to focus on something and often times to get the assignments right he had to start over because he never kept on task.

“Do you ever try?” Ray asked, he’d started with doodles on his notes, things that were born from his boredom. He smiled softly, Oriel was someone with a strong personality and Ray was really hoping he didn’t put himself on Oriel’s Radar as someone to mess with. Raylaigh’s eyes widened with surprise, he didn’t know that about Phoenix. In fact he didn’t think he’d exchanged more than a few word now and again with Phoenix when he saw him, which was getting more and more rare. “Really? I didn’t know that,” He laughed his smile widening, he wished that his ex had been proud of him for something. Anything. “I’m sure he’s really good. I can’t image he’d let me see some, would he?” He asked, he was dying to see some of it. He wasn’t someone to compare his own work to someone else’s. Everyone had their own style and their own tastes. There were artists that Raylaigh didn’t like that others loved and vice versa.

[Deleted]

Oriel didn’t give a shit who knew who he was fucking. Honestly, it wasn’t any of their business who he was or wasn’t fucking and if they really did feel like it was their business…well, Oriel wasn’t exactly shy. He was more liable to invite them in than to tell them to get lost. To sum it up, Oriel was shameless when it came to his sexuality(and anybody else’s). Because there were far more important things in this life than caring about who was fucking who and what gender or religion or race they were. Didn’t mean he didn’t call his gay friends fairies, his white friends WASPS, and his Mexican friends spics. Hell, he flung an equal amount of insults(if not more) at his boyfriend on a daily basis. Oriel liked to think of it as…he hated everyone equally. Therefore he couldn’t be accused of being racist or nothing like that.

That’s why he was often so open about his relationship with Phoenix. It was also a power trip thing; the more PDA he gave to the older boy, the more other people knew who the asian pixie belonged to. It also served as a reminder to the fairy himself. Phoenix claimed to hate it…but his body so often said otherwise. And that made Oriel grin like the Dark Lord he was.

The perfect example of their relationship dynamics, of the power structure there, was revealed during the Truth or Dare game and the seemingly “lame” toe-sucking incident.

“Huh…” Oriel didn’t get it. He wasn’t an artist, no matter how much people tried to make him be one. Oriel just didn’t have the sense. And he was far too much of a perfectionist to be satisfied with something that was even the littlest bit off from what he intended, therefore considering he couldn’t draw to begin with, that was just a load of frustration waiting to happen. No…Oriel’s idea of art, if it could be called that(and he’d found that some did on the internet) was the image of his lover tied up in some new, constrictive way. He took pictures when he liked what he saw enough. “Couple times. Best I can do is a pair of hairy balls. Not exactly a Monet, you know?”

“Uh…yeah, actually, that’s what this shit is, guess he got lonely without his sketchbooks or something, I don’t know.” Oriel helped himself to a seat, climbing over the back of the couch and seating himself on the arm, kicking a shoe off because seriously, shoes on the sofa? He dumped the pile of notebooks in the cushion next to Ray. “Help yourself,” he said with a gesture. “I don’t really know where anything is in this.” He picked up one of the books himself and flipped through it quickly. “He told me that…most of his inspiration comes from back when he was, uh…when he was doped up all the time.” Oriel probably shouldn’t’ve said that. “Now, I guess he’s trying for more realistic stuff.” Now that he’d re-discovered how colorful and amazing the real world could be.

[Raylaigh Hawthorne]

So long as he was unbiased. Raylaigh raised a brow at Oriel, wondering why he was still sticking around and talking to him. Not that Ray minded, he liked people, but he’d always gotten the impression that Oriel didn’t like him and Ray was not looking to be a target. He smiled, perhaps people were wrong about Oriel, perhaps he’d been wrong about Oriel. Ray wondered if he wasn’t also seeing a little bit of something else in Oriel, something familiar. A kind of confidence that a lot of his friends had. It probably frustrated most of his ‘take over the world’ friends that Ray had no ambitions himself. He would indeed be content being some sort of lap dog, so long as he was pampered in the end nothing else really mattered. It was just that he couldn’t be made to care enough to really do something about things that upset him. He was used to being given directions not the one giving directions. He was certainly not a leader, he was very much a follower. He was a very good follower.

Raylaigh giggled, sure that Oriel was shorting himself, though there were people who couldn’t do more than stick figure, but that didn’t mean that stick figures weren’t art, stick figures could be very interesting. “Monet is overrated, there were plenty of impressionists just as good if not better.” At least in Ray’s opinion, he wasn’t a huge fan of impressionism, he really preferred abstract or realism. Well, realism as best as if could be applied to things that didn’t actually exist. “You gotta work on it,” he said then added, “I mean if you want to, it’s practice like anything else.” Raylaigh was a firm believer in the ‘practice makes perfect’ philosophy which is why he could spend hours doing flight maneuvers, hours drawing stupid things, because those were fun. Give him practice with schoolwork and he was bound to fall asleep on someone.

His eyes drifted to the books in Oriel’s hands. That made sense, he could understand that. He wasn’t super connected to his artwork though, he could easily let it go. He might be a little upset but anything that was that important really wasn’t in the grand scheme of things. When it was possible that one fall might shatter him into a million pieces, perspectives changed a little one things. Probably part of what made him so annoying to Nao was that perspective. He couldn’t be made to care about breaking a bone, it had happened a hundred times and he bet that it would happen a hundred times more. Ray shifted, surprised that Oriel had taken the path over the couch when it would have taken a total of five seconds to walk around, but either way the other boy was making himself at home and Ray shifted and reached for one of the books with Oriel’s permission.

He flipped one of them open and peered at the images sketched within. “This is really good, I can’t believe Phoenix never told me he drew.” He huffed a little, it wasn’t like they were roommates or anything. Ray’s fingers paused as he looked up surprised at how casually Oriel mentioned something like that. “Uh… doped up on what?” He hazarded looking down at the pages. Honestly, people looking at his creations probably thought he was high all the time, but he just liked that he saw the world in a different way. No drugs for him, no thank you. Raylaigh was one of those good kids that had really been struck by the stories and lessons in DARE. “What do you suppose this is?” He asked cocking his head at one of the pages and flipping it so Oriel could see it. Maybe Oriel would have better luck figuring out his boyfriend’s brain than Raylaigh. “It looks like an exploding bird from this angle.” He giggled, not in a bad way, in an interesting and mind-twisty way.

[Deleted]

Oriel had a love/hate relationship with people. He hated them, but he couldn’t stand not being around them. He couldn’t stand not having someone to talk to. Despite that, he isolated himself from others for a very long time, his only contact with them being the “victimizations” that he’d enacted on the unsuspecting. If that was the only way he could get people to notice and pay attention to him, then that’s what he did. Whatever works, right? Since getting together with Phoenix, Oriel had gotten better, but that was only because he had his very own little person to entertain on a constant basis. This was also why Oriel had started acting up again ever since Phoenix had gotten himself a job and was thus around and available a lot less.

This was why Oriel valued his friends. Why he wanted to have a lot of them. He could take just a little bit from a lot of them and wouldn’t have to take a lot from a single person. It had worked well for him back when he was a shameless bed-hopper. He couldn’t do it that way anymore, though, so Oriel was learning new ways on how to interact with people. At least, he was trying to. Even if it meant putting on a fake face of actually caring what they thought of him(no, he did care, a lot more than he’d ever let on). Because the more friends he had, the more it meant that people liked him, right? Then if he happened to lose one, then he’d have a lot more to fall back on, right? That was the theory anyway. Oriel didn’t think that any of them really liked him anyway, but it was nice to pretend they did.

“Yeah, well, I ain’t no Picasso either. I don’t get that shit.” Nothing was going to convince Oriel that he could be an artist. “Hmph…they always say that, but if it don’t work, it don’t work,” he grumbled. Of course, Oriel hadn’t actually tried it long enough to get better. “I got better things to do waste time learning how to do something I don’t give a shit ‘bout.” Like dancing. Or world domination. He was going to have to step up his game on that front, because Maud was proving to be a rather formidable adversary.

“He don’t exactly advertise it or nothing,” Oriel explained. Oriel himself didn’t really get to see much of it for a while. The Phoenix he first met didn’t care about showing off and the Phoenix now was too self-conscious to show off. Oriel blinked up at Ray’s surprise. Somehow it slipped his mind that there might be people who hadn’t realized that the reason for Phoenix change from an apathetic dickwad into a meek little bird was because he’d cleaned himself up from years of abusing his own hallucinogenic dust. If they didn’t know the exact drug, that was fine, but it was pretty obvious Phoenix was on something. “Never mind, I shouldn’ta said nothing,” he said, dismissing the inquiry.

Oriel turned his head over the picture that Ray was showing him. “Wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what it was.” There was a lot of weird stuff going on in that brain of Phoenix’s.

[Raylaigh Hawthorne]

Raylaigh smiled brightly, it was up to Oriel really, not everyone enjoyed painting or creating things. And not everyone was good, everyone had their talents and everyone’s art meant something to them, but there were certain things that took skills. Like sculpting or painting. He was getting better at painting, but he still had a lot of problems getting the colors to mix right or not smearing everywhere. He couldn’t sculpt to save his life, or so his art teacher said. Nothing ever turned out the way he wanted, not even close. He’d made a cup once that ended up being horribly lopsided. The intention had been to give it to his mother as a gift, but he’d had to give her something else instead. Because he was not going to say ‘I love you bunches’ with a poorly made cup. He’d given her a portrait instead. She was a beautiful woman.

“To each their own,” he replied with a shrug. If it wasn’t something that Oriel enjoyed than there was no reason for him to do so. If something wasn’t enjoyable or fun then there was no reason to do it anymore. And it was that mentality that probably made it very hard for Raylaigh to do well in his classes. He really had to try and studying had to be the most boring thing the world and it was so hard for him to motivate himself to do it. Ray shrugged and cocked his head to the side thoughtfully. “I guess so, I mean there is a natural talent that some people have, but I think it can be worked at.” He said partially agreeing but still sticking to what he thought. There were people naturally better swimmers or runners based on their physical build. He supposed it was similar to the way he had a natural capability to fly.

Raylaigh nodded and gave Oriel a smile. “That’s fair. You gotta sharpen the skills you’re good at.” Raylaigh hadn’t always been an artist, or even thought of himself as any good, it was really something that he’d done and then someone commented on it being good then he started thinking about it. Ray was not an ambitious person, and perhaps that was why all of his friends who had world dominating plans didn’t bother him because he figured they would never actually do it. He was also having too much fun planning the benefits to his own life based on their taking over the world. Alex still held the highest spot, but in all honesty cake and belly rubs was going to be hard to beat, no matter how much Yancey flattered him.

The flyer had not realized that Phoenix had been on anything, thinking back it made a whole lot of sense. But Ray was an innocent child, he didn’t drink or do drugs, at least not on purpose. Raylaigh had no idea how one got caught up in drugs, it was a scary idea for the flyer. He’d always thought that Phoenix was shy because they’d only exchanged brief conversations before, it made sense in Ray’s mind that Phoenix would open up more when he was around his boyfriend. After all, Raylaigh’s relationship had been most honest behind closed doors. He couldn’t help wondering if his relationship with Jack would have been better if they were out in the open. “Okay…” Ray let it slide, though his curiosity was begging to ask more questions. He laughed a bit, Oriel wasn’t so bad, a pretty nice guy one on one. “This is really good.” He repeated and looked at some more of the sketches. “He’s got a really interesting eye.” Oriel was lucky to have someone like Phoenix.

[Deleted]

Oriel snorted slightly at Ray’s reply. Oriel never really understood why people used that phrase. It just seemed like a bad excuse to say “I give up” in a verbal debate. Oriel’s opinion of this guy was automatically turned towards that he was a doormat. An incredibly hopeless doormat. And barely worth Oriel’s time. It was a lot more amusing when they fought back a little. When they flustered and jittered as they tried to assert themselves and inevitably failed. Not like some people where if you merely tapped them, they fell over(like a certain Mr. McCarthy he knew).

Oh well, didn’t matter. It wasn’t like Oriel had planned on doing anything to Mr. McChill over here. “Guess so,” he said, not really sure Ray knew what he was talking about. “I hear a lot of kids get forced into learning shit by their folks that they aint’ good at. So the only reason they know anything ‘bout it is because they had to.” In fact, wasn’t that pretty much what school did overall? They tried to teach you shit that you weren’t good at, much less interested in, and then judged you for it based on how much you worked on learning the shit you weren’t good at…and then criticized you if you got anything less than perfect.

Hmph…this world was shit. It needed a reform.

It was…a good thing that Ray didn’t question him further about Phoenix’s drug habits. Oriel might’ve snapped and insisted again that he should’ve said anything. It wasn’t any of the kid’s business, after all. “Yeah, I don’t know where he comes up with this shit…well, I do,” from the drugs mostly, “but it ain’t nothing my brain was ever able to come up with.” Which sort of hinted that Oriel had tried the stuff that Phoenix was on(it was his dust, it kind of got in the way sometimes during sex and other unfortunate occasions), but Oriel didn’t elaborate further on that.

Oriel snorted out something of amusement. “You know….that chick, what’s her name, Alex? She said you were pretty cool.” Which was honestly a horrible way to go into the subject, because Oriel still wasn’t sure he agreed. But it was supposedly an explanation for why Oriel expressed interest in the cheerful boy. Oriel let the comment hang awkwardly in the air.

[Raylaigh Hawthorne]

Ray raised a brow but didn’t comment further, there was nothing really more to say on the matter, each person liked what they liked, perhaps it was a form of giving up but then again Oriel intimidated him and he wasn’t looking into getting into a fight with him, be it debate or not. Ray wasn’t all that good at standing up for himself, he used to be really good but then well, Jack had happened and somehow rolling over and accepting whatever happened was better than whatever ramification came from fighting with Jack. Maybe that was another thing that had spilled over from his former relationship into his life. There wasn’t anything that Jack hadn’t taken away from him. He shook his head and his eyes flickered to the scrap of paper crumpled on the floor. Damn him. Even now so long after, Ray couldn’t get over him.

Oriel had hit the nail on the head and Ray nodded rapidly in agreement. “Mhmm, yeah that’s like me and the piano, I’m god awful at the piano but my parents tried to make me learn it anyways.” He shrugged. So he could play Chopstix but beyond that he really wasn’t really any good. “It was the only thing my parents could agree on to force us all to do.” He smiled, his mom was an author, well officially she was a speech writer in DC but her books would sell soon enough and she’d be famous! His dad was a businessman and never understood the frivolous pursuits of the arts, they were never going to make money in art or anything he thought, unless they married well, which in the case of Ray and his older brothers wasn’t an option because his dad figured that they should provide income for the family. Andrea was a little bit of a different case. In any case, piano was something that was artistic enough for his mom and practical in a classical sense for their dad.

Looking at Phoenix’s art Ray found himself a tad jealous, Ray just kinda did things and whatever got created was created. It was a mess of lines that when he squinted and looked at the right way turned into something strange, but familiar. Everything might be strange but it definitely always looked like a variation of something. But if Phoenix could go into these drawing with an idea already made he was leaps and bounds ahead of Raylaigh and his doodles. Raylaigh cocked his head and smiled, assuming that Oriel meant that he knew it because he was so well connected with Oriel. He felt a pang of jealousy, he’d never stop questioning what he’d done wrong and how he could have done better. He bit his lip. If he’d been a better boyfriend maybe Jack wouldn’t have just vanished on him after he graduated.

Raylaigh raised a brow at the sudden shift in conversation and blinked at him the silence growing between them. He smiled at Oriel and waved a hand. “Alex, awesome Alex with the hearing power or Alex with the rainbow hair Alex?” He asked, it seemed like a very necessary distinction. Because the former was awesome and friendly and much more diabolical than initially expected, but nonetheless an awesome person. The latter, well Ray didn’t think she liked him very much. She was on the track team with him and she also seemed to know everyone. He was glad that whoever said that thought he was ‘pretty cool’, it would be super awesome if Alex the most amazing blind girl ever had said it and if the rainbow hair Alex had said it well, Ray would be pleasantly surprised.

[Deleted]

Oriel liked a good debate. He liked quibbling. He didn’t understand why or how there were some people who just wouldn’t engage in something like that. Who know? Maybe they were just too dumb or didn’t think quickly enough or we just, as Oriel often assumed, just plain spineless. Oh well. Phoenix was like that, so guess he shouldn’t complain too much. Besides, this guy was pretty good-looking, so guess he’ll forgive him for that.

“Ha…” Oriel didn’t know how to respond to that one. He talked about it like he knew what he was talking about, but in truth, he could only imagine what it was like based on what he’d heard from others. “I ain’t never been through that kind of shit. I kind of just did what I wanted. The, uh..dancing shit’s stuff I just picked up on my own, you know?” From watching others. From pestering a guy or two on the street to teach him. Everything after, the Hammel dance teacher gave him.

There was really nothing to be jealous or envious over in Oriel and Phoenix’s relationship. One was too dependent on the other and the other was…too dependent on the other being dependent on him. It was a relationship built on control and manipulation. Part of that being directly related to how obviously Oriel showed his affection for the asian boy. It told everyone exactly who Phoenix belonged to. Like he was marking him, telling others to ‘stay away’. Of course, ask either of the boys and they’d say they were just fine. Happy. That there was absolutely nothing wrong.

Oh? Oriel didn’t know Ray knew skinny-rainbow-bitch Alex too. Then again, that chick probably got around. And was hard to miss with her Rainbow Bright hair. “Awesome Alex,” he said with a raised eyebrow and half-smile. “Rainbow-bitch Alex is my roommate, actually. And ain’t half as awesome as Awesome Alex.” Oriel laughed, shaking his head. “Yeah…she and me were partners for that whole flour-baby project they made us do.” Oriel didn’t know if Ray had participated in that. “How the fuck do you know her anyway?” Well, it seemed apparent anyway. She was one of those ‘good girls’ and Ray was one of those ‘good boys’. Similar people like that had a tendency to hang out with each other. Like him and Erik. And Kodi. Hell, even he and Phoenix. They were all ‘problem kids’.

[Raylaigh Hawthorne]

Spineless wouldn’t exactly be a bad way to describe Raylaigh. He liked to think he was strong and could stand up for himself, but there was a big difference between defending himself and standing up to his older brothers. The one he had been doing all his life. The other, well it came and it went. He had a lot of friends to back him up he guessed, but well, his friends had been helpless against the influence of his number one, or who had been. Ray shivered a bit and shook his head, he couldn’t keep letting it get him down. So what if Jack graduated and never called him again. Ray didn’t care, he didn’t, he really didn’t. Good riddance. But he didn’t understand why, what had he done wrong?

“Really?” Ray asked curiously, “I guess that makes sense, I started that on my own, didn’t make my dad really happy but eh, I loved basketball but had to quit so I guess he felt too bad to say anything anymore,” Ray said talkative as ever and pretty much an open book. “So your parents didn’t have you doing anything like that? Like little league or kid soccer or something?” He asked, he really knew nothing about Oriel, other than the fact that he was scary and intimidating, but maybe that was just a first impression, and those could be wrong. Oriel seemed like a nice guy as far as Raylaigh could determine. At least he hadn’t gotten a taste of the bad side of Oriel, he’d always just thought Oriel hated him for some reason. Who knew maybe he knew Jack and Jack said something, but then that didn’t make any sense, Raylaigh’s brain was all over the place.

The closeness of Oriel and Phoenix’s public relationship was both envy evoking and repelling. Ray always wished he and Jack could have at least held hands every once in a while, but the thought of being attached at the hip also sounded horrible. Ray guessed there were two extremes and he got the other. It wasn’t like he had a lot of good relationships to base his analysis off of. He shrugged it off and paid attention to the conversation again. They were talking about Alex and Alex, if they were talking about Awesome Alex then she was, well awesome. Ray loved her to death. He wasn’t sure if she’d told anyone about their stay out of trouble kiss but he had been keeping it a secret. She was basically wonderful.

Ray’s smile widened at the verification of Awesome Alex. “Really? I’m sorry,” he said before he could stop himself, he would hate to have Rainbow hair Alex as a roommate, she was scary. “Dude, no one is as awesome as Awesome Alex,” Ray laughed giving Oriel a sly smile, he wasn’t sure that Oriel would take offence to not being as awesome as Awesome Alex. Raylaigh laughed. That was great, he hadn’t participated in the flour baby assignment but it had been entertaining watching everyone walk around caring for a sack of flour. “She rescued me,” Ray explained with a bright smile and then his face grew crimson, he really didn’t want to tell Oriel how he got scared and tangled himself in some rafter ropes. “Anyhoo, she’s nice, you’re luck to have had her as a partner for your project.”

[Deleted]

Oriel knew how to stand up for himself. He knew how to antagonize. And…he knew how to pick his battles. When he came across a battle he wasn’t sure he could win, Oriel was typically pretty quick with the retreat. It was when he underestimated his ‘opponent’ that he usually ended up losing himself, and thus, losing control. He hated doing that. Oriel preferred being in control. And there were manipulators out there who loved to abuse their powers, as it they specifically were wanting Oriel to lose it just so they could laugh at him for it later.

Jerks.

Well, he’d show them. Somehow, someday. In the meantime, there were plenty of peons to torture and get his kicks from.

Oriel held back a scowl as Ray asked about his parents and whether they ever made him do anything. Instead, he kept an icy smile on his face, trying his damnedest to not tear this twit a new one “Mmm….my foster granny made me learn how to cook. That about the most I got.” The homes after that were so riddled with kids, that it was impossible to impose any sort of learning on any of them other than the mere basics. When they cared enough to do that sort of thing. Oriel might have a silent grudge against kids who had that kind of advantage over Oriel…just a little…or a lot.

It might surprise Ray to know that Oriel had only been open with his sexuality as he was for about a year, since he first hooked up with his roommate Madison. Though…unlike the normal person, perhaps, Oriel still didn’t have many reservations towards being with a same sex parter. Back when he was only fucking female sluts, Oriel still wasn’t subtle with it. When he started moving in on men as an option, not much changed. It was hard to tell if it was merely his personality that didn’t care and which only wished to say ‘fuck you’ to anyone who said anything, or if it was because of his upbringing, being surrounded by so many open minded people on the streets of New York. Well…the ladies he interacted with at the time had been the most open minded, so maybe it was their influence? It probably didn’t matter.

“Aww, it’s nothing, she ain’t too bad,” he said. Just a pain in the neck and too skinny for her own good. “And yeah, I’ll give you that. Awesome Alex is…pretty awesome.” Even if she looked scarily similar to one of his old friends. “Rescued by a blind chick? The hell were you doing anyway?” She was nice though. And snarky. And bright. And knew how to hold her own in a word battle. Oriel wouldn’t mind hanging with her again, just the two of them sometime.

[Raylaigh Hawthorne]

Oops, Ray thought as the words started out of Oriel. He would do something stupid like that. Raylaigh was very clueless and blundered more often than not. This just spoke to his need to think before speaking. He thought that his experience through divorce was bad but he needed to remember that there were people who had it worse. Ray might be innocent in his ignorance but that didn’t excuse it, at least not in his mind. He shifted a little uncomfortably, the realization that he touched a nerve. Despite not knowing and Oriel not outright looking angry Ray felt a sinking feeling. Ray covered his surprise and decided to drop that subject like it was a hot pan. He just nodded and let the conversation die there with that comment.

It was definitely surprise Ray to know that Oriel had been out as long as he had. Thinking back though, he’d been more out before dating Jack than after. The older boy had done a very good job of making Raylaigh doubt himself. He was the reason that Ray hadn’t told his mother or father yet. It was the constant ‘cautionary’ talks that gave him pause whenever he talked to someone about it. He knew he shouldn’t feel the need to hide but somehow the seed of doubt had been planted and nurtured and a tree had grown through his heart and Raylaigh wasn’t sure he was confident enough to tell people anymore. He might pretend to be confident and once it came out be very comfortable and confident with it but that initial first step was terrifying.

“She’s scary,” Raylaigh said with a small laugh, he had no problem admitting to that, she was terrifying. He wasn’t honestly sure that he could take her in a fight. Actually, he was one hundred percent sure that he would lose a fight because she would take one good swipe and he was going to shatter like glass and then it would be all over. Raylaigh was glad to smile about it, it was better than talking about things that might hurt. Ray hated to see people upset and he wanted to back away from the subject that might be hard, life was so much better when it was fun. He would much rather be dancing through life than allow hard things to hold him down and cause him or anyone else distress. Why would someone want to think about bad things when they could think about fun things.

He bobbed his head in agreement. Raylaigh flushed with a touch of embarrassment but easily laughed it away. “Yeah… I will give her that it took me a while to realize it,” He giggled and scratched his head sheepishly. “So… what had happened was: These things,” he pointed to the wings on his feet, “are hell sometimes and I was messing around and got stuck.” He blushed a darker red and ducked his head. “Anyway, if she hadn’t come along I woulda been stuck for a while and we even got a pretty good prank pulled out for it. That girl is diabolical.” Diabolical and so nice. He loved her. He smiled broadly and laughed a little remembering their conversation about world domination. Raylaigh had yet to find someone with a better plan, well at least in his personal case, she had him with her cake and belly rubs, he could deal with a dictator if they gave him that. “But, I mean if we were gonna have an evil overlord, I’d chose her.”