Gentle Not-so-giant (Axelle)
Jul 28, 2014 4:40:06 GMT -5
Post by Axelle Flint on Jul 28, 2014 4:40:06 GMT -5
That was a lot to take in and process. Axelle had to listen, evaluate the sincerity of his statement and figure out what he meant when he said conciously include contradictions. Did he mean he would have to think about doing that? That seemed like a giant pain in the ass...and now he was walking away from her.
What had she done wrong?! He was walking away fast. She didn't even really have time to tell him that she wasn't offended...per say...but, he just...and she was still..."WELL FINE!" she snapped out tearfully as Lucas' voice started mocking her again the mantra of "dumb, fucking bitch" echoing in her head. She couldn't talk to boys anymore, it was too much trouble. On top of Lucas being a dick to her earlier and realizing that Benji had just been using her and Salem being withdrawn she couldn't even imagine what it would be like for a guy just to be nice to her. Well, except for maybe Marcus but she hadn't talked to him recently, for all she knew he thought the same thing Lucas and Benji did, and Koty apparently didn't even think she was worth his time anymore because he was willing to just walk away from her without saying anything.
She was so ashamed that she was crying, it was like she couldn't stop for long. Someone was always hurting her these days. Her friends, people she didn't even know...she turned away and wiped her eyes. Fine, he could walk away; she could walk away...at least a little, at least enough to circle around to the nearest alley so she could try and put herself back together in peace and then go home. School was starting next week and she'd be too busy trying to make sense of her homework to pay attention to any of them. She keened quietly when her imagination ran wild with all the things she’d probably get to watch from the sidelines while people walked by with their friends or boyfriends or girlfriends and she was standing there too nervous to make a move, too afraid of being duped. Scared of being pushed away, of being lied to, tired of thinking she was important when it turned out she wasn’t. Her crying stuttered as she took a deep breath, trying to calm down.
What had she done wrong?! He was walking away fast. She didn't even really have time to tell him that she wasn't offended...per say...but, he just...and she was still..."WELL FINE!" she snapped out tearfully as Lucas' voice started mocking her again the mantra of "dumb, fucking bitch" echoing in her head. She couldn't talk to boys anymore, it was too much trouble. On top of Lucas being a dick to her earlier and realizing that Benji had just been using her and Salem being withdrawn she couldn't even imagine what it would be like for a guy just to be nice to her. Well, except for maybe Marcus but she hadn't talked to him recently, for all she knew he thought the same thing Lucas and Benji did, and Koty apparently didn't even think she was worth his time anymore because he was willing to just walk away from her without saying anything.
She was so ashamed that she was crying, it was like she couldn't stop for long. Someone was always hurting her these days. Her friends, people she didn't even know...she turned away and wiped her eyes. Fine, he could walk away; she could walk away...at least a little, at least enough to circle around to the nearest alley so she could try and put herself back together in peace and then go home. School was starting next week and she'd be too busy trying to make sense of her homework to pay attention to any of them. She keened quietly when her imagination ran wild with all the things she’d probably get to watch from the sidelines while people walked by with their friends or boyfriends or girlfriends and she was standing there too nervous to make a move, too afraid of being duped. Scared of being pushed away, of being lied to, tired of thinking she was important when it turned out she wasn’t. Her crying stuttered as she took a deep breath, trying to calm down.